Numb3rs: Manhunt (Episode 113)

This recap is rated “A” for adult content in the form of the recapper’s very dirty thoughts.

It’s the first season finale, “Manhunt.” The episode that spawned 345364 (actual number) fanfics (none of which were written by me) and 4873486357612348703587 (actual number) dirty thoughts (29283, 29284, 29285, 29286 definitely by me). It also guest stars Max Martini, who Fandom Talk’s own, Jane St. Clair gets to drool over watch and recap weekly on The Unit.

Please note that information given out in "Noisy Edge" about the Big Damn Conspiracy (not that there is one Nadia) will continue this week. Look for hidden clues in the recap.

Opening Grid: 182 000 inmates, 63 escapes, 2 fugitives (Harrison Ford and David Janssen?), 1 witness (again, Harrison Ford?)

Six passengers are being loaded into a souped-up school bus for transfer. The requisite joke here is just too simple, so I refuse to make it. The prison guard, who is checking off each prisoner, nods suspiciously at one prisoner named McDowd. Of course, the bus driver and the marshal on the bus are too busy doing something else, as they don’t notice this extremely obvious sign that something is afoot. Either they completely lack observational skills, or don’t have the advantage of an extreme close-up like the audience.

The prison guard hands off the clipboard with the passenger information to the marshal and wishes the prisoners a nice trip. Yeah, because that bus is so obviously making a stop off on Rodeo Drive before it heads to wherever it was heading.

Skip forward to later on in the trip when the marshal is showing the bus driver a 25 foot boat that the marshal so could not afford, when a pick-up truck tries to pass them. As the pick-up tries to cut in front of the bus, the flat-bed driving ahead of the two suddenly slows down, causing the bus driver to swerve. He hits the railing and a spectacular crash commences.

The driver of the pick-up, some chubby Hispanic dude, and the driver of the other truck, some stereotypical looking trucker dude, both get out of their respective vehicles to try and help. They are both stopped in their tracks by two gunshots and the emergence of two prisoners, including the receiver of the head nod, McDowd. He orders CHD to give them a ride.

Cut to the arrival of Don and Charlie on scene and David apologizing for bring Don in on his day off. Don I totally understand, but why exactly is Charlie there? David exposits the details of the scene, of the six passengers there was one fatality, the marshal, who has now gone to the big yacht in the sky, and two prisoners have escaped.

As David and Don go off to discuss the details, Charlie has gone to talk with the extremely attractive Accident Reconstructor. The conversation goes like this:

Charlie: I take it V stands for velocity
AR: Post impact velocity
Charlie: And F, that’s drag coefficient?
AR: Yeah. You a reconstructor?
Charlie: Excuse me?
AR: Accident reconstructor?
Charlie: Uh, no. I’m a professor of Applied Mathematics and I consult for the FBI.
AR: Wow professor. Where do you teach?
Charlie: Cal Sci.
AR: My ex went to Cal Sci for engineering. He actually is a reconstructor for an insurance company now. We met on a car crash on the 101.

The subtext translation for the conversation can be found here.

Don gives the order to contact fugitive recovery and offers Charlie a ride back into the city and shows him the file on the two fugitives. One has a life sentence with no possibility of parole, meaning he has nothing to lose.

Credits

IHOF: Don is briefing his team on <a href=fugitive1>fugitive 1</a> Vincent Williams:

an arsonist and fugitive 2 Timothy McDowd a contract killer.

Don is concerned that the witness who testified against McDowd is in the danger. Unfortunately, the hotline and constant press coverage isn’t bringing in any useful tips. Fortunately, neither have forms of I.D., so they shouldn’t be able to leave the state.

At that moment Billy Cooper arrives, adding a whole new meaning to the word “Fedcake.” Damn, that man is hot! He thinks that the fugitives will stay local and I’m inclined to believe anything that he thinks. Yes I’m that easily swayed.

Don hugs Coop, and I pause to fan myself for a moment. Coop gives his two cents on the fugitives, that, because they’re moronic criminals, they’re going to be staying around Los Angeles. Don introduces Coop as on loan from Fugitive recovery and orders the team to go do a check on each of Williams’ and McDowd’s family and friends.

Turning to David, Don explains that Coop was his partner when he worked for Fugitive Recovery. “No better way to get to know a man than spending a week using a gas station restroom as home base.” Really? Could you please tell us all about it, in great graphic detail, because the “A” rating is already on this recap. Let’s aim for NC-17, shall we?

I’m highly disappointed when Don remains all professional and orders Coop and David to go after Williams, while Don will focus on McDowd, after he’s talked to the witness in danger.

Hospital: The W.I.D. is Dr. Karen Fisher. She’s already heard about McDowd’s escape and is either the bravest person, or the dumbest, but I’ll go into that later.

To be honest, I can’t have much sympathy for the woman, as she snarks that Don can’t possibly understand how she feels, because she saw McDowd kill someone in cold blood. Yes, clearly a federal agent would have no concept what it would be like to have someone die in front of them. That type of thing would never happen (except in the Pilot, “Uncertainty Principle,” “Prime Suspect,” “Sniper Zero,” etc.,) to a Fedcake.

She is worried that McDowd will kill her, as, after she testified he did the whole clichéd “finger across the throat thing.” I understand her fear, but I don’t understand her refusal to go into witness protection. She doesn’t think there’s a specific threat against her as the whole “finger across the throat thing” was just too vague. She’s concerned that her patients will suffer without her; which begs the point, she can’t help them at all, if she’s say, dead. She also argues that last time she lost six months of her life. I may not be a mathematician, but I know six months is definitely shorter than the rest of one’s life.

Don actually has to insist that Karen allow him to leave officers for her protection, and she acquiesces reluctantly. If I were in that situation, I would insist on him being one of the officers in questions on a tank outside my door, which happens to be an underground bunker in Nebraska. Unless it’s good enough for the president, I don’t call it witness protection.

After examining the evidence, it is clear that Karen’s brain also needs to be found by Fugitive Recovery.

La Maison d’Eppes: Charlie is going over the equations with Officer Morris, the Accident Reconstructor, when Larry and Alan arrive.

After introducing the AR, Alan makes the rather lame joke about Charlie getting another speeding ticket which serves to remind us that a) Charlie doesn’t drive and b) parents can still embarrass their children no matter how old they are.

Explaining that they are working on Don’s accident, Larry is confused why any accident would be important enough to get the attention of the Feds. Once Charlie fills them in on the details, Alan’s clearly worried about Don being anywhere near Fugitive Recovery, foreshadowing a potentially sexy darker side of Don.

Larry is also confused as to why Charlie would be so interested in such simple equations such as those involved in the accident. According to Larry they’re the stuff of “first year engineering students,” thus proving that Larry is completely capable of not noticing the hot chick sitting across the table from him. The AR on the other hand, shoots Charlie a dirty look like she’s all offended that he tried using math to get into her pants. And her problem is? Hell, I wouldn’t need the math.

Charlie gives some long-winded explanation about his fascination with statistically unlikely events, such as accidents, which essentially sums up “Larry, did you miss the hot officer across the table?”

Larry then gets all philosophical, still missing the hot chick across the table, and muses that he agrees with Einstein, “There are no accidents.”

And warning bells go off in Charlie’s brain.

Manhunting: And they are found in the ultra sexy forms of David and Coop, who are watching Williams’ girlfriend’s house. The first rule of manhunting, according to Coop, is to find the sexiest agents around to help you the woman. Williams used all his phone privileges to call the girlfriend, so showing up at her house to get his conjugal visit is his highest priority.

In asking about David about Don, Coop learns Mrs. Eppes has passed away, and explains to David how being in Fugitive Recovery causes people to lose touch. Coop reminisces about how good an agent Don was when he was with Fugitive Recovery. He tells the story of how he once spent two weeks in a cemetery with Don waiting for some guy to deliver flowers to his wife’s grave. While said guy was responsible for putting the wife in the ground in the first place, I’d really like to hear how they filled those long hours, alone, with only the other for company and… (The rest of this paragraph has been censored for completely imagined and inappropriate recapper ramblings.)

The girlfriend emerges from the house and throws something away before dashing back inside. Coop takes this opportunity to go through the woman’s garbage. David watches, disgusted, albeit not knowing how truly disgusted he’ll be with the tromping all over the rights of others when he meets Colby. At first, he insists that Coop needs a warrant, but Coop says the rules aren’t the same for blockheaded ex-army agents in season two in some cases. In resignation, David offers him a glove.

Coop reaches in and pulls out the lamest prop ever in Numb3rs history. The woman tossed out a bag from “Cheryl’s Lingerie.” While it’s probably some prop guy shout-out to Executive Producer Cheryl Heuton, the name of the store is written on a piece of construction paper, complete with cheesy rose stickers and pasted onto the bag. Community theatre groups everywhere sneer that even they could make a better prop.

While this adds credence to Coop’s theory, the pair are called away by the discovery of the pick-up truck.

The pick-up is registered to the conveniently missing Alberto Diaz, previously known as the Chubby Hispanic Dude, and was found dumped in an alleyway. The CSI people (not those CSI people) are processing the truck for evidence when Don is distracted by the arrival of narcotics Detective Danny Reed. The two get into a metaphorical measuring contest, which adds up like this:
Reed: Totally had McDowd stolen out from underneath him by the Feds last time (-1 inch)
McDowd’s escape means he’s fair game and Reed wants to be the one to catch him. (+1 inch)
Plans to have McDowd executed (+ 4 inches)
Is asked for assistance by Don (+ 2 inches)
Is wearing a really tacky shirt (-3 inches)
Looks really smarmy (-3 inches)
Total: 0 inches

Don: Feds got McDowd life in prison (+1 inch)
Asks Reed for help (-2 inches)
Is dressed better (+3 inches)
Intimidates Reed (+3 inches)
Is Don (+3 inches)
Total: 8 inches

The recapper refuses to admit what exactly is being measured here.

The point being, the scene introduces Reed as the smarmy antagonist in this episode who plans to get in Don’s way. As Reed leaves, Don receives a call from Charlie.

La Maison D’Eppes: Charlie is playing with gardening equipment, and Larry is confused. It is important to note that Larry finally figured out why Charlie was so interested in working the crash equations with the really hot officer. Charlie gives Larry credit for the whole garden implement representation by his comment earlier about their not being any accidents. “Note to self, never talk about quantum theory,” Larry comments.

Charlie is using a wheelbarrow to represent the bus, a seed spreader to represent the flatbed, and a skateboard to represent the pickup truck. The wheelbarrow was traveling along at a consistent speed, inching up slowly to the seed spreader. The skateboard, thinking it has enough time to pass in front of the wheelbarrow, goes to make its move when the seed spreader suddenly slows down. This indicates the title “accident” is a misnomer. While this is the explanation to the bus crash, the whole wheelbarrow versus the evil seed spreader will soon be a DreamWorks production called Trimming the Hedge.

Charlie informs Don of the staged escape as soon as he arrives.

IHOF: Charlie is giving Don and Coop a lecture on how the crash demonstrates a Markov Chain. Clearly, Charlie’s not seeing that the recapper his class doesn’t understand a damn word he’s saying. At one point, Coop asks Don, “Are you sure you’re his brother?” All Coop and Don understand is that the pickup and flatbed truck driver are in on it. That’s really all we they need to understand.

Don and Coop go off in search of the driver of the flatbed, since the pick-up driver is missing. Just the pair of them. You don’t know even want to know where my mind just went. Although, it was fun.

Trucking Company: Coop and Don are asking about the driver of the flatbed, Chris Dunlap. The owner’s all WTF, if the W in this case stood for “who.” He’s never heard the name and with the recent licensing dispute with the city, none of the equipment should have been off the lot in three days. Being the obliging fellow he is, he shows Don and Coop the truck in question, with an extra added surprise—the body of Chris Dunlap is inside.

IHOF: David, being the ever-useful research guy that he is, has information on both the flatbed and pick-up driver. The real name of Chris Dunlap was Bryan Zane, a man with a long list of petty crimes, and Alberto Diaz, the pick-up driver, took a flight to Mexico City the night of the crash. With the complicated nature of the escape plan, Don is certain that it was orchestrated by McDowd and that the stupid self-sacrificing Dr. Fisher is in danger.

The three go to talk to Charlie, who has written a variety of equations up on the clear board, conveniently placed for a cool way of filming the scene. So once inside, they talk about a variety of things. I have no idea what. I’m too distracted by the ridiculously high hotness quotient in that one room. Mouths move and stuff is discovered but, much like a Hugh Jackman movie, I really could just watch the whole scene on mute.

Oh, wait, that’s the problem! It is on mute! I wonder why I didn’t notice? Charlie is explaining how he’s tracking the fugitives using math and Coop gets all uppity about Charlie being able to do with a calculator what he’s done his whole career. Bowing down to the alpha dog in this situation, Charlie replies he would never presume to try and usurp his authority. So I take it Charlie’s the submissive then?

The gathering of ultra-hotness is interrupted by the news that Williams has been spotted at the girlfriend’s place. “I bet she’s wearing that pretty new outfit too.” Coop says seductively. Personally, considering the bag it came in, all I can picture is three circles cut out of construction paper with strategically placed rose stickers. Does that come with double-sided tape?

Don orders David to get together an entry team, and he’ll call once he’s in place with Coop.

Manhunting: Again, two spectacular specimens, complete in riot gear, are found hiding outside Williams’ girlfriend’s house.

Don reports that Williams has been inside for about an hour. “He’s probably still tapping the girlfriend,” Coop retorts. Actually, considering Williams has been in prison for a while, an hour is huge overestimate. On the other hand, if that’s what Coop thinks is average, well, yay!

Trying to be all official, Don wants to call in an entry team, but Coop talks him into ordering the team to cover the back while Don and Coop go in alone to make the bust. The slightly evil glint in their eyes give me hope of something really bad to occur in the next scene.

In the start of what could have been the best porn movie ever, Don and Coop bust into the house while Williams and his girlfriend are right in the middle of having sex.

Instead of really cheesy porn music starting, much to my disappointment, Don and Coop pull their guns (not like that) and make the arrest. They also find a .22 caliber pistol, which isn’t responsible for any of the killings thus far.

IHOF: Don and Coop are using the bad cop, baddest cop interview technique on Williams. The suspect immediately falls for it and sings like a canary about the events on the bus. After the crash, McDowd told him to pretend he was hurt, and when the marshal came to check on Williams, McDowd shot him. It seemed like McDowd knew the bus was going to crash, and broke out with the mission of killing someone, other than the marshal.

David enters with news that McDowd was just spotted at 6th and Alvarado.

Lupita’s Bar: At the skuzziest looking bar yet in the series, Coop learns from a distinguished (meaning dressed like a homeless man) patron that McDowd is indeed in the bar. Rushing back to the waiting Don and David, the three decide to wait the hour until the bar is closed, to avoid civilians getting in the way. Don orders the backup team, consisting of some LAPD plainclothes detectives, to maintain surveillance.

That leaves David, Don and Coop stuck for an hour with nothing to do. However will they pass the time? How long did Coop estimate it might take just a couple of scenes earlier?

My hopes for the second-best porn movie ever (the dynamics of any car is awkward, even for two people. Don’t take my knowledge of that to imply anything about me) are dashed when shots are fired inside the bar.

The trio rush inside to find the bar in a panic, and McDowd is in the wind. Exiting out the back, Don runs into a smug-looking Reed, who was the one responsible for the shoot-out by making entry. Adding another +2 to his tally from their earlier competition, Don shoves him into the fence and has to be pulled off by Coop and David. Reed offers some lame-ass excuse that he must’ve been on a different frequency and didn’t hear Don’s initial order. Don retorts that he’ll hold Reed personally responsible if McDowd hurts anyone.

IHOF: A sense of division is now being felt amongst Don, David and Coop. Don is frustrated that nothing’s popped up since the near-bust at the bar. Coop wants to go “bust some heads” and David wants to keep a cool head and wait it out. He thinks that it won’t be long before McDowd surfaces again and there’s no way the Feds can scare McDowd’s crew more than a desperate and homicidal fugitive can. Don takes David’s side incurring the ire of Coop for his by the book methodology. Coop thinks it’s all right to play things fast and loose. (That can apply to so many different aspects of life, can’t it?) Don doesn’t want to risk the stupid witness’ life.

CalSci: Charlie is writing some equations on the board, when Larry stops by to see him. Sensing Charlie’s frustration, Larry suggests he take a break to let “the problem percolate a little.” The source of Charlie’s frustration is not (when is it ever?) the math, but the data. The tip lines have produced hundreds of false sightings of McDowd. Charlie’s annoyed because the fugitive can’t be in three places at once.

Larry, momentarily debating that it is theoretically possible to be in three places at once, takes one look at the increasingly annoyed Charlie and concedes that it’s never been proven in reality.

Larry’s comment, like so many of Larry’s musings, gives Charlie the idea to use Bayesian Analysis to determine which of the multiple sightings on the map are real.

Hospital: Don goes to see Dr. Fisher, and after a few moments of workaholic flirting (“Are you always on duty?”) Don tells her that she has to go into protective custody. At first, she tries to reject it, but he tells her that they now do have specific information that McDowd is after someone. Reluctantly she agrees, proving she has at least something resembling a brain. I mean, who would be stupid enough to turn down Don and protection, I mean Don’s protection, twice? (Don and protection is an entirely separate state of affairs, although who would be stupid enough to turn down that either?)

She is escorted out to an awaiting vehicle and taken into protective custody.

CalSci: In the only math class I would have ever taken in university, Charlie is teaching “Math for Non-Mathematicians.” Charlie, with Alan sitting in the audience, gives an example about how math can often disprove our instincts. He uses a “cheesy game show” as his analogy. Displaying three cards, their backs facing the class, Charlie tells the class that two cards have goats on them, and one has a brand new car, and challenges the students to win the car. One student is selected to be the contestant, and she chooses the middle card. Charlie then removes one of the cards and asks her if she wants to change her choice. The girl says no, because the odds are now 50/50 that her first selection is the car. Charlie says she’s wrong, because she had a 2/3 chance of selecting a goat the first time, and switching her choice, gives her a two out of three chance of selecting the car. He proves his point by turning around the two cards and showing that the girl had, in fact, selected a goat. Why am I choosing to explain this in excruciating detail to you? Because this is the one and only time I actually understood everything he was saying, and I’m proving it to you. It will never happen again, so let me have my moment of feeling like I’m smart.

Don and Coop arrive, and Charlie says the class is out of time and asks the class to make their own example of this statistical phenomenon. I did my homework! The choice you are to make is here.

The flip-side solution is here.

Charlie is such a great teacher!

I’m also curious as to why the class isn’t fuller. Not only is the class taught by the hottest math professor ever, but also each lesson only lasts for 2 minutes and 13 seconds. How awesome would that be for the compulsory math credit?

While the girl who just won a goat goes to flirt with Charlie, Don introduces Coop to Alan. He reminds the pair that they’ve met before, once when Don and Coop worked a case out in Los Angeles. Using his, “Donnie, this is important” voice, Alan asks to speak to him outside. He expresses concern about Don going back to manhunting, and that when Don worked for Fugitive Recovery in the past, the family often wouldn’t hear from him for weeks at a time. Personally, I don’t think Don wanted to tell his family what he was up to, but I would love to hear all about it – at great length. Alan muses that “Chasing after someone, you can be running away from yourself at the same time.” Alan, in the first season finale, gets his very first Numb3rs Painfully Awkward Line™. Alan, if you’re chasing someone, you’re probably running towards something. I just thought I’d point out your abuse of innocent prepositions.

Before Don can go, “Yes, Master Yoda,” he is interrupted by Charlie and Coop. Charlie has an absolutely adorable moment looking for his father’s approval by asking if Alan enjoyed the lecture. Assuring Charlie that he did enjoy the lecture, Alan excuses himself by commenting that he can now win a goat and reminds both of his sons that he plans to see them both at home later.

Back in Charlie’s office, Charlie shows that he’s been able to track McDowd’s actual movements and filter out the bad data. The biggest discovery is that McDowd has not been hanging around his usual area, and his movements, like that of a carnivore, indicate that he’s hunting. At first, Don thinks that McDowd is after Karen, but the area shows that perhaps McDowd is after a rival gang, the Z Boyz. The most recent sighting puts McDowd at a shipping depot which is a front for the Z Boyz. The leader of the Z Boyz (who must be way dumber than the A Boyz) is Romeo Choy, and, like the movie title says, Romeo must die.

Z Boyz in the Hood: Don and Coop find nothing but a reenactment of the St. Valentines Day massacre at the shipping depot. Not only did romeo must Romeo have to die, but obviously the whole Montague clan had to go with him.

IHOF: Suffering from extreme frustration, Coop and Don can’t find a single link between the Z Boyz and McDowd. At first, Coop thinks that McDowd expected to take over upon the death of Romeo, but Don nixes that because the Z Boyz have a very long chain of command. I hear that are at least 25 others in line before they even get to the next Z.

Starting from the beginning, Don goes over what they know. Considering the daring nature of the escape, he extrapolates that there had to have been help on the inside. Unfortunately, there are too many people on the inside who would’ve known about the transfer. Of course, they don’t have the advantage of the extreme close-up like we did at the beginning of the episode.

Don has another idea. Looking at the bus set up, the assumption that McDowd freed himself with the guard’s keys is obviously incorrect. Taking a page out of Charlie’s usual object lesson, Coop and Don demonstrate that McDowd’s hands must’ve already been free at the time of the accident.

Prison: Proving that first season Don is way smarter than second season Don, without the benefit of the close-up, Don has figured out that the prison guard from the beginning, named Raynor, must’ve been in on the escape. At first, the Raynor denies knowing anything, but then Don threatens him with a murder conspiracy rap and Coop threatens to toss him in with the people he previously guarded. This loosens up his tongue (and probably his bowels) and he starts rambling on about how “he” arrested Raynor’s little brother. When asked who “he” is, Raynor say it’s Detective Reed of the ugly shirt and smarmy expression.

IHOF: David, ever the research guru, has discovered that Choy had turned informant for the DEA and had named Reed as a dirty cop. This gives the motive for Reed springing McDowd, as Reed would know the prisoner from his investigations. The trio quickly figures out that, besides his freedom, McDowd also gets the added bonus of killing Karen, so they rush off to the safe house because Reed would be able to provide McDowd her whereabouts.

“Safe” House: In full riot gear, Don and Coop arrive to save Karen, and giving me heart palpitations at the same time. The agent guarding Karen is down, but not dead, and as they’re calling it in, they hear Karen screaming. They must’ve been in the building a good ten seconds before Karen starts screaming. Considering her proven level of intelligence, it probably took her brain that long to compute, “In danger, scream now.” Splitting up, Coop runs down the hallway, and Don gets to McDowd and Karen first, as McDowd’s dragging her up the stairs.

Proving he’s not the dumbest criminal ever, McDowd gets off a couple of shots and then releases Karen, which gives him a momentary shield and distracts Don as he gives her the order to lock herself in her room. Don, now a full five seconds behind McDowd, gets up on the roof, where McDowd fires another shot at him then runs around the corner out of sight.

Coop arrives on the roof just moments before McDowd takes another shot at Don. Finally getting a shot off in retaliation, Don hits the pipe instead while McDowd rounds another corner.

Now being flanked by agents on both sides, McDowd focuses on trying to shoot Coop, giving Don enough time to sneak up behind him. “Move and there’s a hole in your head; you understand me?”

“You might as well shoot—I’m already dead,” McDowd replies.

Instead of giving him that satisfaction, Don clocks him one, knocking McDowd to the ground. As he’s cuffing the prisoner, Coop comes up and suggests that it might be easier if he McDowd had a meeting of his mind with the pavement.

Don responds by telling him, “You never change,” and tells Coop to pick up McDowd’s gun instead. Just the way Don says it made me wonder if that wasn’t the first time that suggestion had been made. Now there would be a great Don back-story!

Later outside the safe house, Don checks up on Karen, who is understandably shaken by the whole ordeal. Despite her recent scare, she has the presence of mind to suggest a cut on Don’s arm be checked, and I have the sneaking suspicion she’s finally figured out there’s a hot guy who has been protecting her this whole time. Coop interrupts to say that Reed’s been spotted, and Don turns to leave. Karen disproves my theory that somewhere in her head was a working brain cell. She calls Don back for a second, and instead of offering some really good “gratitude,” she just says thanks. Even after he flashes a grin at her, she does nothing. Moron.

Johnny’s Tacos: Reed, demonstrating he has an endless supply of truly ugly shirts, is arrested by the fashion police Don, Coop and David.

Before they even tell him what he’s under arrest for, Reed says “Oh, come on. Who do you think they’re going to believe, a convicted murderer or a decorated cop?” The correct answer in this case read should be WTF and demanding a union rep. That statement alone is enough to get him 20 to life. Obviously, he’s joined Karen in the Moron Club. (First rule of Moron Club: don’t talk about Moron Club, if you can even remember what it is.)

IHOF: Coop is packing up his SUV and heading to Phoenix to chase another fugitive. Don tries to convince Coop to stay around, and my hopes were totally up for his return until the actor wound up over on The Unit. Switching roles, Coop asks Don if he misses any of the rush of manhunting. Increasing my hopes, for any thinly disguised reason, no matter how weak the plot device, that the pair will be together again. Don at first says no, but then recognizes the thrill of manhunting, although he wouldn’t trade his family, or living a stable life, for the adrenaline rush. With that, Coop departs.

Maison d’Eppes: Charlie is marking papers and playing chess against Don and Alan at the same time. The pair wonders if they’re even being spared a moment’s thought, but Charlie reassures them that it’s not about winning, and then ruins the moment by saying it’s because they never win. Ouch.

Alan partially agrees with Charlie, as the whole point is to have some “face time” as a family. On the other hand, Don is competitive, and distracts Charlie from his game by pointing out that he’s spelled “anomaly” wrong on a test paper, bring full circle a joke from way back in the pilot.

Charlie scoffs at the idea of spelling anomaly wrong because he uses it everyday. (It’s like math, where we all use anomaly everyday!) “We know you know how to use it, but you certainly don’t know how to spell it,” Alan quips.

While the debate about spelling continues, the chess moves get faster, and Charlie’s clearly not paying attention to the game. Instead of focusing on kicking their butts with logic, Charlie insists Don get a dictionary, where he is promptly proven to be a lousy speller. (Really, he shouldn’t be that upset, as it actually increases his cuteness quotient. I should know because I did the math on that myself.) “Is this a reliable dictionary?” Charlie says, grasping at straws.

He gets the second hit of the night because, in three moves after the distractions started, Don and Alan have put him in checkmate. Demonstrating his youngest child tendencies, Charlie insists he isn’t going to play with them anymore.

Don’s phone rings and even though he just wrapped up a case, he’s now back on duty, giving support to Alan’s earlier fears about his job keeping Don away from his family. Don assuages those fears a little by promising to call them, and suggesting that the three of them go out to eat later.

Charlie, still stinging from his recent loss, takes a swipe at Alan by telling Don that he’ll look after the “old man.” Don exits and Alan truly terrifies his son by going to get the Scrabble board. “Scrabble’s missing a piece,” Charlie says, in a mixture of fear of Alan finding the game and hope that Alan will believe him.

Fini.

End Note: Having finished this recap, I’d like to readjust that number of 29286 at the beginning to 29500. I’d like the count to be accurate. This is a show about math.