Numb3rs: The O.G. (Episode 212)

I must begin this recap with a shout out to the boards, particularly my fellow recapper Nadia B. and her Spoiler Gang. Because of them, my name this week is theoriginalgangster, in honour of this episode. Despite the laughingly ridiculous Big Damn Conspiracy to expose me to spoilers on the board, very little that is humourous can come out of a serious episode on gang violence.

Opening Grid: Grid: 1,350 L.A. street gangs, 152,000 Gang members, 504 Homicides, 2.2 Square miles. In case you’re curious, that means each gang has 112.592 members. While the first 112 members aren’t scary, the .592, look out for that sucker!

This Ain’t the O.C.: Clearly the opening song for this episode was selected by Charlie, as it begins with percentages, “10% luck, 20% skill, 15% complete power of will, 5% pleasure, 50 %, and 100% lack of social services, history and poverty that make me join this gang.” I know what you’re thinking. I couldn’t have recorded those lyrics correctly because Charlie would never select a song that added up to 200%.

We now have the view from a car driving around a neighbourhood never imagined in the worst dreams of Mr. Rogers. The rear view mirror has a cross dangling from it. I’m figuring this must be the cross of the same god that protects gangs, allows people to be successful on reality television, and who everyone is talking about at the Grammys. He’s the “I don’t have war or pestilence to deal with so here, have some success, Weaver Family” deity. The scene ends with a shot of someone, who I assume to be a gang member, because not that the assumption was set up by the neighbourhood, music or title of the episode was a clue or anything. Let me rephrase that, the scene ends with someone being shot.

La Maison d'Eppes: Don is watching a Hockey game, and the Score is 2-1 in the second period of the Seals / Ice Hawks Game. I mention this only because my Canadian citizenship would be automatically be revoked if I didn’t.

Alan is looking all dapper in his suit and is so concentrated on his upcoming date, that he forgets that his older son spends more time at Casa Eppes than his own apartment. Alan proves this by expressing surprise that Don is there. In a nice piece of continuity, that gives a nod to us loyal viewers without confusing newbies, it turns out Alan has a date with Donna, the caterer from “Soft Target.” Donna’s birthday is coming up, and he asks his sons for advice about what to give her. Alan, I don’t think Laundromat Date Guy and Fractal Broccoli Boy are the best people to ask. Don comments that it depends what Alan wants to say with the gift, and I’m assuming the answer is “I’m not as romantically incompetent as my sons.”

Charlie has his first useful moment of the episode by telling the story of two British Mathematicians that used Game Theory to come up with the best gift in courtship for “Female Receptiveness.” Euphemisms, they are the networks way of keeping the censors happy. Don snarks that these Brits were just geeks who don’t date much. Undeterred, Charlie goes on to say that the best gifts are those that cost a lot for the guy, but don’t have material value for the receiver. After asking around, I found out these two Brits are Sozou and Seymour and if anyone can find an official copy of the list, post it, please. It would be an act of great public service.

Don is saved from anymore date discussion about Donna, whose name he’s repressed on the way out, by a phone call from work about the shooting.

This Still Ain’t the O.C.: Don is greeted by David. Usually, it would be exposition David, but it turns out he knows nothing as they are awaiting the arrival of the local cops. Neither David nor Don understand why they’ve been called to the scene of a drive-by shooting.

Lieutenant Gary Walker of the LAPD Gang Impact Team arrives with the impact that is usually only accompanied by loud trumpet flourishes because the actor is seriously chewing up the scenery. Lou Diamond Philips now has some competition in that department with Will Patton if he becomes a regular special guest star.

It is revealed that the supposed gang banger from the drive-by is an undercover FBI Agent, and to keep his cover, Don and David are asked not to flash their badges. (Not like that!)

David recognizes the FBI agent, as Anton Rhimes, henceforth to be named Busted Rhimes, and the assumption is made that it is too late, Busted has been busted.

Credits: And you may ask yourself, did NBC and CBS collude on a very special week of gang-related episodes?

Outside the International House of Fedcakes: Walker, Don, David, and some random dude, are discussing Busted Rhimes’ involvement with the 23rd Street Syndicate. The dead agent had been gathering information on the gang’s leadership and structure. The Feds are still working on the theory the cover was blown. David reveals that, despite a restaurant full of potential witnesses, no one has come forward with information. Walker responds with, “Kind of the way it is with these people agent, us versus them.” He pauses long enough to make sure the audience understands that this man probably has a predilection for white sheets. “I meant lawmen versus civilians.” Yeah, I’m sure that’s what you meant. Where were you born, Maycomb? Ever arrest anyone named Tom?

Inside: Just as Walker is suggesting hitting back hard against the 23rd, because, in his mind, why investigate when you can just lynch them or shoot first and ask questions later not care? Don arrives with U.S. Attorney Robin Brooks, who, like a rational human should think, asks for some rational thoughts to penetrate the vengeful brains.

While there has been a lot of discussion, that the actress, Michelle Nolden, played Rob Morrow’s wife in Street Time, I remember her from the movie Men With Brooms . In this woman’s career, she’s played Rob Morrow’s wife and Paul Gross’ ex. Anyone envious?

Also, the character she plays is much more cautious than Walker, or even Colby (though I cringe to put the two of them in the same sentence) and Robin wants to be sure that Busted Rhimes’ cover truly was blown before making any moves that might jeopardize a 14 month investigation into a variety of deaths and other nefarious crimes.

The U.S Attorney explains that there’s been building RICO case against the 23rd. The idea is to get the leaders on the same charges that brought down such illustrious mobsters as Al Capone. Walker then takes over the meeting by showing a map of the 23rd’s territory. Strangely enough, if one were to look really closely at the map, for some reason Bel-Air isn’t on there. Walker describes the gang’s territory as both random and unpredictable. As if that’s some sort of phrase like “Abracadabra” or “Accio Charlie”, Charlie appears out of freaking nowhere to dispute his two least favourite words in the English Language.

Charlie spouts on about some math theory, but what I get out of it is that he just compared gangs to vegetation. I wouldn’t repeat that theory in front of an actual gang member Charlie. When Charlie mentions the flags on the map, he’s told by Walker that each flag represents a gang shooting in the last six months. Charlie’s stricken (or nauseous considering his usual reaction to violence) look reminds me of when I found out there wasn’t a tooth fairy. Charlie’s also shocked to learn there has been very little analysis done of the shootings.

Walker looks like he’s about to tear Charlie a new one, when Don steps in and apologizes for his brother as “mathematicians have their own language. This should be the Numb3rs Painfully Awkward Line ™, but it isn’t and I have to credit Rob Morrow for that. He’s playing it as if he’s apologized so often for Charlie, that he could smooth it out even if Charlie explained his gang member = plants theory to the entire 23rd Street Syndicate. Don allows Charlie to continue and Charlie is already seeing a pattern. I’m seeing obsession and for once it isn’t my obsession with this show.

Video arrives of the victim having his last supper with a “shot caller” by the name of Travis Watts. (Was that pun intended?) The decision, almost to placate Robin more than anything, who still is unsure that Rhimes’ cover wasn’t exposed, is made to arrest those in the 23rd with outstanding warrants, in an attempt to shake Travis loose. I ask, I’ve only met Robin for a few minutes and is it bad that I like her far more than Nadine?

Boyz in the Hood: We now have a montage or arrest scenes, in which our Feds look appropriately hot in their riot gear and Walker looks really menacing. I get a distinct odour with this character; it’s a little fishy. I’ll place it in a second. Yes. It’s red herring.

Math Garage: Charlie, surrounded by photos of gang-related shooting victims, is working on refining his pattern / algorithm / whatever, when Larry, with his dapper new haircut, arrives. In something a little out of character, Larry comments on the mold spores in the garage. Hello, Larry, how much time do you spend in there and you’re worrying now? Somebody dangle some white bread and powdered doughnuts to distract him please from becoming a hypochondriac.

Charlie muses about gang violence, and that 8000 shootings happened within 12 miles of his home. It’s nice to see Charlie try to grasp the larger social context without Larry having to point it out. Explaining how he is looking for a pattern / algorithm / whatever to connect all the shootings, I am sad that even the great brain of Charlie Eppes won’t be able to solve this problem in one episode. Larry agrees with me and tells Charlie it’s too much for one man to do. Charlie insists he’s doing it because all the victims deserve justice. Though non-verbal, Larry’s response is clearly “Oh shit, it’s another P vs. NP.”

Boyz in the Hood: David, Colby and Walker interrupt the weekly “Nice of Us to Be All In One Spot” 23rd Street Syndicate basketball game. With the level of cooperation usually expected from gangsters, most are reticent to get on the ground, and one takes off like someone fired a gun at the start of the hundred metre dash, or just fired a gun in that neighbourhood.

David heads off in pursuit of the sprinter who winds up getting caught in front of a class of impressionable youths at the 23rd Street Community Centre. While arresting Sprinter Dude, David has to suffer a tirade from the Community Centre’s Director. Excuse me; I now loathe her for two reasons. The first, isn’t the idea that a life of crime will only get you sent to prison what the centre wants to teach the impressionable youths? Secondly, any character that almost makes Walker’s impressions about the public seem correct pisses me off on principle.

The Director still continues defending the sprinter even when he smirks through trying to claim he hadn’t done anything wrong. Whatever kid. I know the Director is trying to show the community’s point of view but she just comes across as a whining bitch. That, and the last time I saw that actress, was as River’s teacher in Serenity. It may have been a small part, but much like Ben Stein in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, she was extremely memorable. Of course, I would remember any teacher who OMGWTF, stabbed a PEN into my HEAD!

Outside the Community Centre, Smirking Sprinter, whose name is Anthony, is offered the standard lowest scumbag on the scum-pole deal: turn in your leader and we’ll let you go. I think this is part of the first broken law’s free theory from “Scorched."

IHOF: I’m guessing Anthony squawked like bird and gave up his leader, because David and Megan are interviewing Travis Watts. Usually, my faith in Megan being intimidating is unshakeable, but today, I don’t think she has a prayer against this bad ass. Years of university training just can’t compete with his life on the streets. He, without incriminating himself, says that if someone shoots down one of his people, five will die in retaliation. (Uh, dude, that is incriminating yourself.) It is later confirmed that there have been three retaliatory drive-bys (2 to go) by the 23rd. This proves that the working assumption that the undercover agent was exposed, was wrong. The Feds are now back at square one and Rhimes is now Unbusted Rhimes.

Don, Megan, Colby and Walker give us some insight into gang mentality and retaliation. Despite the fact he’d rather shoot them, Walker’s task force does keep some records on rivalries, but none of this will be relevant when Charlie solves the problem any second now – and here he is!

Charlie presents his behavioural sequence analysis, and the graph looks more like pick-up-sticks. Using this theory, Charlie has developed this idea of “Shooting Chains.” He describes the theory like dominos, where if you knock one down, many will follow. Not only do I understand this theory, I’ve come up with my own variation, the Krumholtz Shooting Chain, although, my shooting chain involves cameras, not weapons. My graph, much easier to follow than Charlie’s, can be found here.

In the background is the same random guy who was with David, Don and Walker, in the scene immediately following the credits. I point this out, because he’s actually distracting in the sort of Cigarette Smoking Man in the First season of The X-files way.

When Walker dismisses Charlie’s findings with a condescending “interesting notion” in the same way I once described math class, Charlie takes offence and starts spouting specifics about gang violence. On principle, I would usually side with Charlie, but seriously, he works on the gang task force. He may be a bastard, but I bet he knows this.

“Stopping bad guys from killing bad guys isn’t a major priority.” Walker tells Charlie. Which is true and there’s actually a title for those type of people, actually, several: NIMBY’s, Suburbanites, Republicans, The Conservative Party of Canada. Pick the one you like best.

Don steps in; personally, I think to prevent Charlie from getting his ass kicked by Walker. Walker walks off in a huff, and Don tries to get Charlie back on focus.

The Girl in the Café: Megan is meeting with Mrs. Unbusted Rhimes, to see if perhaps the motive for his shooting was personal. Mrs. Rhimes gives us the view of a good husband and man who was not only brave but also can’t be buried with the honour he deserves. I don’t have the heart to attempt to find anything humourous. The useful piece of information here is that Unbusted Rhimes was close to being trusted by the 23rd.

Cal Sci: Amita, sounding remarkably ill, is surprised by the victims’ photos and Charlie’s newest obsession. Get over it sweetie, it’s not me you! Larry, like Don before him, tries to get Charlie back on track by telling the little parable about how Galileo discovered the earth wasn’t the centre of the universe. It sounds impressive when you leave out the whole excommunication and vilification for centuries thing. Moral of this tale, focus on something small and perhaps one will see the big picture. The numbers of victims and sheer magnitude of what Charlie is doing, still not funny so let’s move on.

Fedz In the Hood: David is back at the 23rd street community centre, where he meets up with John Owens, the teacher of the impressionable youth from earlier. This will be important later. After helping John Owens put down card tables, we find out that Olivia, the director, is still around and David needs get in her pants her help. Despite her bitchiness, at least Olivia is dedicated to her job.

The conversation goes like this:

David: Help me.

Olivia: Badge does not equal trust here buddy boy.

David: But someone was killed.

Olivia: I’m no fool. Most times the cops don’t give a crap. Who was the big man who got himself killed?

I have to give props to David who I seriously thought was going to give her the real reason, which would just prove her point. (It still does, but she doesn’t know it yet.) Luckily, David doesn’t disappoint me in ways only Colby can, but his impassioned plea for her help doesn’t really work on her the way it would on me. I’m just not as tough, never having stabbed anyone in the HEAD!

La Maison d'Eppes: Don and Alan commiserate over the difficulty with the case. Alan makes the point that he doesn’t think Charlie is trying to solve it, just understand it because “decades of bad urban planning, racism and economic blight” can’t be undone so easily. Word. I love Alan.

Accio! Charlie appears with new information for Don, that he’s found a pattern.

10 different murders that started ten different shooting chains, which he thinks were all done by the same person. These shooting chains resulted in the deaths of 60 people. Look at Charlie; he’s got his own sixth sense. He counts dead people.

IHOF: Using Charlie’s information, Don arrives with the ten cases Charlie’s flagged. Both Walker and Robin express doubt at Charlie’s math, but the Feds know better and trust the math. Megan is the first to find the pattern, that each case is an isolated incident that sparked off the chain. Eventually, all the Feds find the same, swaying Robin, who I now am convinced is cool and would like to see her back again.

Cal Sci: Megan arrives at Charlie’s office and instead of being her usually business-like self, and exclaims “Professor Fleinhardt!” The grin she has and his equally happy reply of “Agent Reeves” clearly tells us something; Megan is digging the new hair too.

Looking around the room at the victim photos, Megan remembers that she’s not there to flirt with Larry, but to ask Charlie for help as she’s yet to come up with a way to figure out how the killer picks his victims.

Amita earns her paycheck by explaining that each of the ten victims has set off an excessively long shooting chain, so there’s little doubt that it’s not random. Megan theorizes that this is odd, as it would make the killer’s gang a target. Larry, politely, points out that it’s one big damn assumption that the killer belongs to a gang. Sorry Amita, but Larry earned the bonus this week in usefulness.

Where Everybody Knows Your Name: At some sort of pub style eating establishment, Megan, Colby and David are sharing information about why the killer chooses gang members, and having dinner. Secretly, I suspect Megan is also proving she can drink the guys under the table. Back to the case, the killer chooses gang member for the same reasons some choose prostitutes, because no one would miss them. This is especially true when Lieutenant Walker’s on duty. They also decide that the killer has an intimate knowledge of gang structure, allowing him to maximize kills. The scene ends with Colby getting a call that the gun used in the shooting of Unbusted Rhimes was from a Buy-Back program.

Boyz In the Hood: We are at the scene of a drive-by shooting where Smirking Sprinter Anthony dies. It would be more tragic if it wasn’t inadvertently saying that if one rats on one’s friends, then said person will die. Much the same way a woman having sex (particularly good or kinky sex) will always bite it on CSI. As irritating as it is, Walker makes a point, which it would’ve been safer for Anthony to be in prison.

Next, Colby pulls David, who looks like he’s ready to shove Walker in front of the next speeding truck he sees, aside to give him the red herring that’s been stinking up this show. It turns out that the gun that killed Rhimes, the one from the Buy-Back program, was signed for by Walker. I’m expecting David to do a happy dance, but he’s more mature than me, obviously.

IHOF: Walker is being interrogated by Don, about being the one responsible for the guns. Walker argues that plenty of people could have taken the gun. Yes Walker, and you could count the guns before you sign for them. I know you’re not big on math, but if there’s more than ten, just use the hands a second time. It’s not that hard. He tries to defend himself that the killer would’ve just gotten the gun from somewhere else. Fine, but I’m going to continue to detest you no matter how often you have a point, so quit sucking up to me. Plus, we found out that it wasn’t just one, but 12 guns that went missing. (That’s both hands and two toes Walker.)

Getting away from the red herring for a moment, Walker explains that churches (cold very cold) and community centres (hot very hot) are used for drop off points for the Buy-Back program. It is revealed that all 12 guns were lost at the – I know! I know! Pick me! They were all lost at the 23rd Street Community Centre. Do I get an extra cookie now?

Community Centre: Olivia is upset that David is coming down on her about the Buy-Back program. I’m a little distracted, that on three separate days, Olivia is wearing exactly the same outfit.

David and Olivia are at an impasse, as David wants the names of the volunteers and Olivia wants the volunteers not to be harassed by the FBI. I mean, Olivia does have a point as they do background checks for this sort of thing, although, does “handgun klepto” show up on a background check? David has a point too, as people being shot is a bad thing. David channels my frustration with Olivia and demands the list or he’ll go public, making the community centre responsible for the deaths. Olivia hands over the list. She bitches first, but does hand it over.

This community centre is an excellent place to find things. The killer can find guns. The local kids can find leadership and the community centre is the place where David found his balls.

IHOF: It turns out that 10 of the volunteers had the opportunity to get their mitts on the guns. Megan immediately rules out the priest, as she was obviously too busy to watch the previous evening’s Without a Trace where the priest did it. Megan also explains that the Feds must find a link between the killer and the first victim as there is always some personal connection. This piece of advice sound intelligent and, remarkably familiar. Oh, I remember now, Hannibal Lecter tells Clarice Starling the same thing in Silence of the Lambs.

La Maison d'Eppes: Don arrives needing a break from the case, as they’re making no headway. Plus, we the viewing audience need a break from the very heavy topic of the week. First, we get the adorable Charlie reading.

Next, here is our comic relief in the form of the tale of Alan’s date. Despite his initial gruff response that the date with Donna was fine, we all know it wasn’t. Don can’t keep a straight face while Alan is telling him this.

Really, it’s quite a romantic gift, so quit laughing.Personally, I’m always flattered when I receive bath products for a gift from a guy. It’s nice to know the first thing he thinks about when he thinks of me is “Hey, she has a serious need for soap.” Wait, maybe – well that’s it. Now I’m offended.

Charlie takes another swipe at his father’s already dented ego:

Charlie: Ruined the date, didn’t’ it?

Alan: It didn’t ruin the date. The date was fine.

Charlie: You’re home at 9:30.

Ouch.

Alan deflects the subject by moving commenting how tired Don looks and Don laments the lack of the Feds’ success finding the link between the killer and the first victim. Charlie doubts that the first victim theory. (I’d be careful about doubting a theory first expressed by a crazy cannibal Charlie.) Instead, he suggests that the intended target is in the first shooting chain, as, with shooting chains, if you shoot Tim, you’ll get Bob, all without being a suspect. I think the killer should apologize to Tim. What did Tim ever do to you? On the other hand, if you’re a serial killer, I hope you’re taking notes.

IHOF: Looking through the files on the victims in the first shooting chain, Megan, David and Colby find Rosco. David recognizes one of Rosco’s victim’s names, Brian Owens, the 15 year old son of community centre volunteer John Owens. The name doesn’t sound like a vigilante, but still, what exactly does a vigilante name sound like?

Not Miracle on 23rd Street: A quick pan of the suspect’s car reveals the cross from the opening shot of the episode. This confirms to the audience, that clearly, they have the right man, otherwise the practically infantry sized police force they have for one man, would be overkill. We also learn that John Owens prowls on his front porch at night with an AK-47. At least it’s not another random serial killer who seemed like normal guy.

Walker wants to just shoot the guy and get it over with but David has another idea. The idea is perfect logical: in clear sight of anyone with a proficiency for shooting firearms, with his head unprotected, talk to the guy. Methinks David needs to get a new plan. David, I love you but you’re lucky you’re on contract and not on Lost as your brains would so be splattered all over the pavement by now.

David speaks sympathetically to John Owens about his son, to turn himself in and think of the kids that still could be saved. The killer knows it’s too late; he’ll go to prison for what he’s done. Uh, buddy, you killed 10 people in a state run by the Governator; you’re so getting the death penalty. Instead of letting Ah-nold decide for him, John Owens eats a bullet, while he is looking pitifully at a photo of his lost son. Really, John Owens is just another victim of a different type of gang violence, the one that turns men into monsters.

IHOF: An exhausted Don tells Megan that he’s sent David home to recuperate and sent Colby with him. I’m so emotionally drained by this episode, that no dirty thoughts enter my head about this statement until I watch it for the third time.

Walker eats crow and actually compliments David’s bravery. It’s the only truly decent thing he does in this episode.

La Maison d'Eppes: As Don arrives, Alan is about to head out on another date with Donna. Charlie saved the day by getting number two on the Brit Hit Gift List, which are theatre tickets. Charlie also assures Alan that it’ll be a better bet than soap. “Thanks for the insights my little Don Juan,” Alan snarks back.

It turns out that Charlie is ditching Don too, by heading over to Amita’s to have dinner with her and Larry. I think Charlie needs to investigate the Brit Hit Gift List as well, because he needs more friends. Tell him to check the internet; he’s got a few thousand there willing to share dinner. Charlie invites Don along, but Don isn’t feeling fit for public consumption. At least Charlie has the decency to look sheepish abandoning his brother when he looks so forlorn.

Math garage: Don, examining Charlie’s work on gang violence, exudes more angst than most fangirls’ hearts can take. It’s Don’s own personal P vs. NP moment. He wants to solve it, but it’s probably unsolvable.

Community Centre: Olivia, actually in a different outfit for a change, watches David teach the impressionable youth about anger and conflict management, definitely a big improvement on the last guy in the role model department. We also get a bit of David back-story, as he wants to teach because classes like this helped him out when he was a hard ass kid. David invites Olivia to stay for class and Olivia one ups him by inviting him to find her phone number, before leaving him to get back to the impressionable youth.

Final Thought: I hope no one tells Colby about Olivia.