Madonna Opens Tour in Los Angeles: Fags, Fundamentalists and Former Vulcans Rejoice!

For the next few days, I imagine all the hens in West Hollywood will be clucking about Madonna's coming home to roost. If the reviews are correct, Mother Hen Madge dropped another gay-assed golden egg last night at The Forum, when her Confessions tour began its world-wide trek. It was, no doubt, a well-rehearsed, tawdry spectacle of Christian porn that just-so happened to take place in an arena owned by fundamentalist Christians.

The reigning queen of cultural appropriation is well known for her ability to prance about onstage like a teenage Jezebel, and last night she donned a crown of thorns, suspended herself from a glittery cross and engaged in predictable S&M shenanigans (but this time with ponies).

She also insulted U.S. President George W. Bush, but somehow managed to ignore the political affiliations of the folks who produce her concerts. She also decided to cross a union picket line composed of Forum janitors and stagehands who are currently locked out of work.

Clearly, her Evita days of representing the descamisados are as fictional as her singing voice.

Reuters reports:

During one of her half-dozen costume changes, another video montage juxtaposed images of Bush, members of his administration and British Prime Minister Tony Blair with footage of Adolf Hitler, Osama bin Laden, and Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe. Midway through the new song "I Love New York," she deviated from the script and made a crude reference to Bush and oral sex.

Beyond that, she barely spoke to the audience, largely focusing on keeping control of a busy nightclub-style stage that boasted 15 dancers, four musicians and three backing vocalists. For the most part, she joined in the tricky choreography, her voice evidently not affected by the aerobic workout. She did pause for a few songs during which she appeared to play a shiny Gibson Les Paul guitar.

That all sounds predictably Madonna: choreographed, inflexible and lip-synched. I had the severe misfortune of witnessing a couple of her shows last century. I found her performances to be a series of calculated, soulless (yet somewhat provocative) displays of crotch-grabbing half-nekkidness. You get what you pay for from a Madonna show: lotsa skin but no goose bumps.

The BBC points out an interesting tidbit:

The venue is currently in the grips of an industrial dispute with stagehands locked out from their jobs in a row over pay and working hours...

"We're picketing the main gates to educate the public as to what it is that the local union is trying to accomplish," said union official Mike Miller.

"This employer is cutting industry standard wages by over 35%."

But the picket lines had no impact on the show with many fans saying they took no notice.

Of course not.

We're talking about fags, Los Angeles and fundamentalist Christians.

No one expects sincere, honest and courageous behavior from that unholy triumvirate of trifling.

Does anyone really expect silly faggots to feel any sense of responsibility for spending an evening (and hundreds of dollars) at an entertainment complex owned by Faithful Central Bible Church – whose pastor, Kenneth Ulmer, saved the soul of pop princess Britney Spears two years ago? The same Promise Keeper who keeps company with the likes of Jerry Falwell?

Do we really expect better behavior from a Christian church that is apparently working in God's name to bust unions while it plays host to slutty pop superstars who mock Christianity at $350 a head? The same church who allows part of its business to be managed by Paris Hilton's family while it cuts its workers salaries?

Speaking of strange bedfellows and odd-pairings: Michael Rapino (the CEO of Live Nation, the Republican Clear Channel spin-off that's producing Madonna's tour) -- well, his ass is married to former Vulcan and Star Trek hottie Jolene Blalock.

It always surprises me how Madonna's concerts are covered in the media like they're some sort of affront to "common decency" and "family values" but in all reality, the only folks profiting from the experience are a bunch of right wing assholes and a so-called liberal who'll sleep with the enemy for the sake of her own sorry-ass career.

So to all the queers who got a hard on when Madonna unleashed a diatribe against the President last night, I hope they know some of their cash will go back to support Dubya and his GOP-loving asshole cronies. I'm sure they thank you for their cut of that $350 and will gladly continue their Godly duty to deny you civil rights.

As for Madonna....she'll keep preying on praying for you as long as your credit card clears, honey.

She might have herself up on the cross, but cash is the only king to your beloved Material Girl.

She's a sell-out, sorry-assed, no talent-having, hateful-as-hell capitalist.

She's everything America is about and nothing like the Christ she mocks on a consistent basis.

So....does anybody have any extra tickets to that rancid pop tart's Chicago show?

I'd love to go....