rewind, recap, regurgitate: America's Got Talent - The Results Show #4

Ok, tonight we not only find out who joins the Passing Zone in the finals, we're also treated to the musical stylings of the Big Hasselhoff. Woo-hoo, I can't wait!

First of all (after the recap), Jon and Owen are back to perform some more juggling. Tonight they're back to the garden variety pin juggling. They are really great jugglers, but it's their rapport that really sells their act. After their bit, it's time to burst some bubbles. Regis calls up Desperation Squad, Dave Smith and the King Charles Unicycle Troupe and lets them know that they got the lowest number of votes. Not really a big shocker. Before the break we're promised the dangerous Tom Green (yes, that Tom Green. My, how the mighty have fallen.) I'm scared.

Yes, it's once again time for Crazy Caliber Talents – brought to you by Dodge (remind me never to buy a Dodge.) This week, the acts all revolve around exciting body part tricks. (Don't get any funny ideas, this is a family show!) First up is The Great Stamen Show, a man from Bulgaria who plays his teeth. Skylar Aud sings love songs with balloons – he sucks helium while singing Patsy Cline's "Crazy". Regis partook of a balloon and sounded just like a Muppet. Sammi Pryor plays a new kind of instrument - her ears. Alexis and Alicia are last up they perform "Take Me Out to the Ballgame". One little girl sings most of the song, while her partner belches out some of the key words. Cute. It's going to be a tough round to judge. Stamen and his musical teeth win out.

Now it's Tom Green and his skateboard stunt with "fire, large ramps and possibly explosions." He's very excited about his ring of fire stunt. I sense hilarity. Sure enough, Tom clears the ring, and his (obvious) stunt double emerges from off-stage engulfed in flames. Ha ha. It's a long way from MTV. Next up is the Cirque du Soleil show Zumanity. Lots of aerialists with hula hoops and Catholic school girl outfits on (my husband's going to be sad he missed this!) You either like Cirque or you hate 'em. I love them, and they were a much needed break from the amateurs (this includes you, Green!)

The 2 acts with the highest number of votes are announced – quick change artists David and Dania (no surprise there) are one of them. Who's the other one? Wait for it...no, literally, we have to wait through another commercial break. Ok, the second of the top 2 (and winner of the audience sympathy vote) is Celtic Spring (with Mom, Dad and li'l brother intact.) And the winner is...Celtic Spring. Next week is the Wild Card competition – the acts that will be competing are Bobby Badfingers, All That, Corina Brouder, Natasha Le, N'Versity, David and Dania and my boy Leonid. But, without further ado, the big Hoff, lip synching his latest "hit", Jump in My Car. Since I don't want to deprive anyone of this experience, please enjoy...