American Idol- Joy to Jersey

Welcome to another bloated Idol results show. Let's do this recap the way most people watch these things....on fast forward.

Look at the week's performances! Boy Sanjaya, Alaina, Haley, and Antonella were bad. Randy said "Yeah dawg, hot!". Paula was very supportive. Simon was testy and threw out some of those patented Cowell zingers. It was a week to remember, all right.

Before anyone can be sent home, they must suffer the embarassment of group sing. This week it's "Joy to the World". It's crazy and dumb as per usual, but we're all treated to a laugh when poor AJ is given the solo line: "You know I love the ladies". Oh AJ. If Simon taught me anything this week, it's that you don't. He sold it though! A consummate performer, that AJ. I want to put him in my pocket.

At last, it's time for one of the boys to go home. Ryan lets them stay in their seats. He goes down the entire back row setting us up for Jared Cotter (who's on the end) to get the ax. Surprise! Jared is safe. Nick, who is on the bottom row, is going home instead. Yay! America got that one right. Will the streak continue with the girls?

Ryan gives us the same set up with the girls, though this time the person in the Jared Cotter slot, Alaina, is not spared. Way to pull the old switcheroo on us, Idol. Alaina tries to sing the Dixie Chicks again, but she's too emotional to get any of it out. Instead she hugs her fellow contestants as the background vocalists do their thing. How awesome would it have been if one of them pushed everyone offstage and showed Alaina how it's done? So far America is two for two on the choices this evening.

Kellie Pickler and her suspiciously ginormous breasts have come to visit the show. At this point, the backwoodsy thing is just beyond belief. Her hair makes her look 20 years older than she really is and her song isn't all that good. Not the best appearance for Miss Pickler, but at least the producers got another cash-earning commercial break out of it, right?

Let's get back to the business of ending dreams. Ryan goes through the remaining guys and we are left with AJ and Sanjaya onstage. Oh no. Here we go again. Something about Sanjaya has got people voting, and my sweet little AJ is going home instead. Sanjaya is shocked. Paula says the most lucid thing I've possibly ever heard from her: "This is a singing competition, and these results don't reflect that". Here, here! AJ realizes the best revenge is a well-sung departure and he gives "Feeling Good" his all for one last time. I'm really sad to see him go. Unlike the girls, the top six guy slots seem pretty open, and I think he could have made it.

Speaking of the girls, we're about to lose one more of them. It should be Antonella or Haley. Ryan narrows it down to three ladies who he brings out onstage: Antonella (yes! kick her out!), Jordin (what?) and Leslie. Like Sanjaya before her, Antonella plays the role of spoiler, sending the much more talented and interesting Leslie home. On one hand it's all right, because Leslie wasn't top 6 material. But on the other, I fear that the longer Antonella sticks around, the greater the chances are of her unseating someone really good (i.e. Jordin or Gina).

The race tightens up next week when the top 16 perform for spots on the big show and a place in the Idol tour. Who do you see making it through?