Scrubs - "My No Good Reason"

Elliot had a terminal patient and was trying to find something to ease her pain. All that the patient wanted was to see her dog. Elliot attempted to appeal to Kelso to allow the dog in the hospital, but he ignored her – much as he had since she went into private practice. (Elliot also didn't endear herself to Kelso when she brought up his late pooch.) Kelso continued to deny her request. Turk and Carla hired a hot nanny – a concern for Turk, but J.D. was really happy to see her.

Elliot recruits the janitor to sneak her patient's dog into the hospital in his cleaning cart (thank God he was wasted the night before and threw all of his cleaning supplies up in a tree.) Jordan is on bed rest – thanks to her pre-natal surgery, so Cox was working overtime. She's got the usual cravings for white chocolate, strawberry seltzer, peppercorn brie, and Viggo Mortensen movies. Cox is ready to kill himself. Turk informs J.D. that he has a video from the “Nanny Cam" of the new nanny, Heather. Todd put the word out (he has a magical horn that bellows “Boobies" instead of “Ricola") and the male members of the staff magically appeared to watch the tape. Elliot's patient was happy to see her dog and her vitals reflected her happiness. Laverne has a theological discussion with Cox – about everything happening for a reason - complete with Bible quotes (I really think she's going to be the cast member who doesn't go on to the next season.) Carla found the boys watching the video which launched into a very elaborate “guy lie" involving a churro vendor strike during Mexican football season. Turk thinks he's in the clear, Carla thinks otherwise – she's not as dumb as the boys hoped she was. Yay, Carla!

Kelso finds out about the dog - not good. Cox insists there is no rhyme or reason to everything. Laverne is pushing faith (I think she should watch it...). Carla threatens Turk with the firing of Heather. Elliot's argument for keeping the dog in the hospital is instantly lost, as Kelso notified her that the patient passed away. In the mean time, an 8 year-old stabbing victim is admitted – Cox asks Laverne what is the reason for that?

Laverne knew that there was a reason for the stabbing victim to be at Sacred Heart and Cox wanted to take her down. Jordan tells Cox she's really glad to have him, which was embarrassing for her to admit. Kelso wanted to let Elliot go due to the dog incident. J.D. spent 6 hours constructing a “Mary Poppins" line to try and woo Heather, Turk flat-out asked J.D. to ask her out - to get him off the hook with Carla. If J.D. hooks up, a gal becomes hideous to Turk (as evidenced by a scary, hairy version of Elliot.) It turns out that there was a tumor where the girl was stabbed – if she hadn't been in the hospital they would have never found it. Elliot is suspended from her duties at Sacred Heart (thanks to the dog incident) and is reduced to making house calls. Carla tells Elliot that Kelso may feel unappreciated. J.D. went out with Heather and ran into 3 football players who beat him up in high school -they're all gay now. He also saw his high school prom date who thought a threesome with J.D. and Heather would be nifty...hey, wait...it's all an elaborate story from J.D. Turk tells Carla that he loves her but thinks Heather is attractive and feels there's no harm in getting an occasional peek. Heather (obviously) gets fired. Elliot goes to Kelso and gives him a big thank you...and a new puppy. Cox tells Laverne she doesn't get a win from dumb luck – but she shuts him down by pointing to Jordan's pre-natal love. Heather, the nanny, turned out to be a smoking hot racist thief (thanks to the Nanny Cam). Elliot's suspension is over, thanks to a cute pup. Cox and Jordan are closer than ever. Ah-ha! Laverne was in a car accident and is in a coma – the rumors were right, I fear! Ummm...cliffhanger...but an “Office" marathon next week. Woo-hoo!