Jericho - You Don't Have to Live Like a Refugee

A little girl runs panting along a forest path, seemingly being pursued by someone with a gun. But it's ¾ into the first season of this show, and I am on to your particular brand of bullshit, Jericho. Things are never as they first appear in the teaser. Remember that time everyone looked like they were on a badass training exercise, and it turned out they were (quite ineffectively) hunting a turkey? Good times. Aaaannnd... yep. The person following the girl is her brother, and he has a gun because they're chasing a rabbit for supper. Said rabbit disappears into Stanley's barn, which happens to be where the Jericho PTB parked the pseudomarines' tank. The little girl crawls in past a loose board and stares up with huge eyes. Me thinkey that the tank is out of the bag.

Town hall. Sure enough, the townsfolk are exceptionally pissed that Gray et al lied to them about the pseudomarines. A line has formed outside, and everyone is demanding food. Meanwhile, Roger's pissed because the refugees' rations have been cut in half – they're essentially being treated like they're half as important as everyone else. Gray claims he doesn't like it any more than Roger, but that they need to make the food last, and that somebody has to get less – it might as well be the last people to arrive.

Meanwhile, Hawkins works in his Evil Basement Lair. He's on Sarah's Blackberry o' Badness, chatting with her contact. “Sarah" is ready to meet and deliver the package. I get a mental image of Hawkins in drag, going to meet Sarah's contact. HEE! I think the goatee would give him away, but Drag Queen Hawkins would sure as heck spice up this rather yawntastic who's-the-terrorist-and-what-is-he-doing plotline.

There's more talk in town hall about how to deal with the refugees, who are apparently a big hungry crime-riddled thorn in everyone's side. Gray's ready to take a stand. It's time to kick these 'fugees out. He and Dep. Bill stomp authoritatively into the church basement, which is the refugees' shelter. It's time to pack up; they're being escorted to a FEMA camp. A guy who seems to be the Head Refugee is all, “uh-uh I think not." What if they refuse to leave? Gray shouts that this isn't a debate, and Head Refugee says that that's right... because they're staying. He proceeds to punch Deputy Bill right in the schnozz, and a rumble ensues, with all of the refugees dogpiling on wimpy lil' Deputy Bill.

Emily arrives at the Green residence and frantically informs them about the situation; the refugees have barricaded themselves in the church basement. Jake and his family arrive in the middle of another Gray/Roger debate – the second of 4582651 consecutive such debates in this episode. Gray insists that it's Us or Them and the numbers don't add up for keeping everyone around, and Roger insists they can't kick the refugees out. Jake plays peacemaker, trying to find a solution, and Roger goes in to talk to the refugees. Gail and Johnston wonder what they can do, and discuss giving away April's things. So despite all of the yowly protests I've heard around the internet about how NOBODY ACTUALLY PRONOUNCED APRIL DEAD AND SHE IS MAYBE STILL ALIVE OKAY... um, if they're giving away her clothes, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that she has kicked the bucket. Of course, I could be entirely wrong and April will make a stunning comeback in a few weeks, awakening dramatically from a coma to wreak redheaded havoc on the Mary/Eric relationship. Hey, Starbuck just came back on BSG, and we saw her damned Viper explode into smithereens. I'm not ruling anything out.

In the church basement, the refugees talk about their strategy, and Roger figures out with dismay that some of them have been stealing food. Meanwhile, Hawkins spies rather creepily on his family from behind a fence as they frolic at Deputy Jimmy's place.

And spying is going around. Skylar and Dale are still on a mission to get the shit that Dale is owed. They're lying on a hill peering into someone's yard with binoculars. This guy owes them gas, which is being guarded in a barn. A peppy Skylar's going in, and Dale looks like he's seriously about to pop his cork as he lies back down to watch.

Downtown, Bill has found some tear gas canisters, and although Johnston and the church's reverend protest about pain and the potential for fire and oh the humanity, the police get ready to use it. The refugees board up windows as Head Refugee yells at Roger for bringing them to Jericho. He talked the place up and now they're getting the boot. Roger says that he's with the refugees, even if they're getting thrown out. Suddenly a canister of tear gas comes flying in, and everyone screams and scatters. The gas flows and out come the 'fugees, and one woman falls down the church steps and lies still. Sassy Med Student, whom I should probably start calling by her real name of Jessica, is on the scene.

Skylar scurries up to the guy who's guarding the gas. She lies that Ravenwood's on the road, and tricks him into going up into the hayloft, whereupon she rides off on a horse with the gas cans. Meanwhile, Hawkins drives into Nebraska. He unfortunately is not in drag. As he arrives at a warehouse, he texts Sarah's contact to change the rendezvous point to his current location, then gets out and prepares to lie in wait.

One refugee has escaped. Anyone want to take bets about who it was? My money's all on Head Refugee. Gray sets about ordering the townspeople to shoo the extra human baggage out of town.

Back at the Green residence, Gail is packing up April's things when she sees muddy footprints on her kitchen floor. She opens the side door and comes face to face with Head Refugee (woo hoo!), who proceeds to chase her through the house. Head Refugee seems shocked at Gail's fear of him, but dude. You're carrying a baseball bat, and home invading. Um, that is cause for some panic. Gail is not the type to go quietly into the night, and sets to screaming like a banshee on crack as she races into the living room and arms herself with a fireplace poker. She smacks Head Refugee with it before he pursues her into the kitchen and corners her there. Gail shrieks at him to get out, and he hollers back that he's not going to hurt her... but where is he supposed to go? Gail stops screaming and looks at him like she's seeing him for the first time.

Town hall, and the debate about the refugees drags on. Roger begs Gray just to let them stay until spring, but Gray insists that the refugees are leaving, and that's final. To prove that he means business, Gray pulls out a pistol and makes for the door, ready to use his own brand of Gray-style persuasion. But Roger's not so much up for that. He grabs Gray and they tussle as Emily hovers worriedly in the background, and I wince because you just know this gun is going to go off. The show would make no sense at all if it didn't. Who will be shot? Gray? Roger? Gray? Roger? Sure enough, we hear a bang, and... and... Gray is the one to fall to the ground with his abdomen bloody. Jake runs in as a shocked Emily holds Gray, and an equally surprised-looking although not very repentant Roger shouts at Jake to get Jessica.

Head Refugee rifles through Gail's kitchen drawers. He's looking for Superglue to fix his shoes, which he wants to keep because they're the last thing of his own that he has left. Gail gives him the glue, then asks where he'll go. He says his family was in Chicago, but there are empty houses here, while the 'fugees have been staying in the church basement. Gail insists that those houses belong to Jericho residents, the ones who were away when the bombs went off. They're coming back. Head Refugee retorts that he hopes their neighbors aren't being kicked out of wherever they are in the middle of winter. Touché.

A truck pulls up at the warehouse where Hawkins has taken a strategic position, looking out a window toward the rendezvous point. Several gunmen surround the area, and Hawkins photographs them all. He gets a message on the Blackberry o' Badness asking Sarah where she is, and “she" replies that she's on the loading dock. The guards head out, and Hawkins snaps a photo of the truck driver, as well.

Roger has barricaded himself, Emily, and Gray in the Town Hall room. He won't let Jessica in to help until Gray agrees to let the refugees stay until spring. Jake bangs on the door, demanding that Roger let him in, as Emily freaks out. This isn't her fiancé... at least not the guy she knew and loved. Roger says that he survived three months out there... she has no idea what he is capable of now. Not really the sweet nothings a girl likes to hear, Rog.

Hawkins runs around with a gun as the men are distracted at the fake rendezvous point. He rolls under their truck and places a device of some sort on its undercarriage. A tracking device, perhaps? Hawkins then whips out the Blackberry o' Badness and texts that he got nervous... they should meet at the original rendezvous point. Hawkins, you dirty tease. The men hop back in their trucks and drive off, leaving Hawkins looking triumphant.

Gray's still bleeding as deputy Bill tears outside with a rifle and climbs up a nearby building. Jake chases after him, protesting Bill's new brilliant plan to sniper Roger through the window. But Roger's taken the mayor hostage – if Bill has the shot, he's taking it.

We're treated to more blah blah about how the refugees have had such a hard time, and okay, Jericho writers, WE GET IT. This decision sucks ass either way. Now get some friggin' new dialogue. Jake tears back up the stairs and to the side door of the room (why didn't he try that before?). He races into the room, shouting at Roger to get away from the window. Roger aims his gun at Jake, who's trying to close the blinds, and amidst the confusion Bill takes a shot. Everyone dives for the floor as a window shatters.

Our heroes hoist themselves up off of the floor and Roger aims at Jake again. Jake makes another offer. Jericho will give the refugees food, fuel, and other resources; they can go down the migration trail and make for warmer climes. One way or another this thing is going to end, so Roger finally agrees to let Jessica take Gray to the med center, while Jake prepares supplies for the departing refugees.

Robert Hawkins is back skulking in Deputy Jimmy's backyard. His daughter Allie goes for firewood and he calls her name. She says the family is fine, and so is she. When Hawkins points out that hey, she killed somebody, Allie's all, “'sno big deal." And btw, since dad isn't around anymore, she's planning on taking care of the family. Hawkins tells her that “you're not me," but he looks like he's trying hard to convince himself. Hawkins, this one is a chip right off of your sneaky, calculating block. Watch out for her.

As Jessica kneels over Gray he thanks her for taking care of him. It's his job to get rid of the refugees, after all. Jessica says that we all have our jobs to do, whether we want to or not. Case in point, eh Jess?

The refugees are boarding the school bus, which will take them out of town. Emily asks when Roger will come back, but he's all, “umyeahnever." Meanwhile, as the 'fugees get on the bus, Gail arrives and shouts that they can't let them go. All of these people... these refugees... represent their own neighbors who haven't come back yet. She says that her family can take in two refugees... who else will help? Gail looks around, encouraging a show of hands. And slowly, people begin to raise theirs. So... what about this entire episode's insistence that the numbers “just don't add up" to feed these 100 refugees? I'm confused. But not so confused that I'm willing to think about it any more. Yippee-Skippy! The sad homeless refugees are staying! Everything's right with the world!

Meanwhile, Roger's looking for a hostage, and Jake volunteers. The two of them come slowly out the front door of Town Hall, Roger's pistol pointed at Jake's head. But as they slowly walks toward the school bus, Gail addresses Roger. She's found homes for the refugees. Roger looks like he can't quite believe it, but slowly lowers his gun. It's over, but Roger's certainly done a great job of pissing a lot of people off, because the deputies take his ass straight down to the ground with WWE style tackles. Ouch.

Roger's in jail, and Em comes in for a conjugal visit. Gray's going to live, but Roger has been voted off of the island. Emily wants to go with him, but he says he couldn't handle seeing her out on the road with all of the danger. He kisses her tenderly through the bars.

At Gracie Leigh's, the store has been restocked with all of the food and supplies that Dale and Skylar have either stolen or extorted. Two men come in, looking for the swiped gas and horse. Dale says they can have the horse back, but the gas is his. When the guys try to take the gas by force, they are suddenly stopped by two armed, badass looking men. Dale's all, “meet my new employees suckas." The guys turn tail and skedaddle. Hee! I knew those refugees were good for something! Dale's got himself his own personal Britney-style bodyguards.

Gail escorts a group of refugees (including Head Refugee) into Jim and Judy Moore's house. The couple was in Philidelphia when the bombs were dropped. She tells them about when they can expect their rations, and then leaves them to their new home. Head Refugee thanks Gail warmly as she leaves.

Hawkins prints a photo of the man at the warehouse, and posts it on a bulletin board. He uses the tracking device he placed on the truck to satellite-spy on the men. Aha! So Hawkins can use his laptop to satellite spy, too – he just needs the coordinates! The truck driver speaks to an older man as Hawkins watches, then pulls out his own Blackberry. Hawkins receives a message on the Blackberry o' Badness, saying that the men don't want to play any more games - they'll double the price for the package. Hawkins prints another picture – this one of the man who was speaking with the truck driver. He pins this photo on his board, circling the man in red and placing a question mark next to him.

Roger gets a backpack with food and water, and Jake gives him a gun as well. They shake hands, and Roger exits stage left, as Emily cries and the cops look after him like hells yeah that's what you get.

As Gary Jules sings about how it's a very very mad world, Hawkins spies on his family via satellite and the rest of the townspeople assemble in Bailey's, where Jake has set up the radio. A man with a somehow familiar voice (this will probably come into play later) is giving news from around the country. He says that the men who were arrested before they could set off the bombs in NYC were carrying nearly perfect fake FBI badges. Whereupon Deputy Jimmy gets a look like he has just been punched in the gut, because he was there when Robert Hawkins showed his “FBI" badge to Gray Anderson. Jake cottons on to the fact that something's freaking Jimbo out. Jimmy can't bring himself to say the words, just stares at the radio as the host signs off with a poignant, terse, and honestly heartbreaking, “Take care of each other, Kansas."