The Office - "Safety Training"

Andy’s baaaack…just call him Drew. The new name reflects his new attitude after 5 weeks of anger management training. He hardly gets a warm reception - Jim refuses to call him Drew and Dwight decides to shun Andy for 3 years – an Amish technique.

It’s safety training day. Michael is less than thrilled that it is led by Toby - but he’s taking the gang to listen in on Darryl’s warehouse presentation, which he feels will be infinitely more interesting. (Side note: I am beyond happy to see the return of Patrice O’Neal as one of the warehouse workers…I love me some Patrice!) Darryl’s on crutches – a result of a wacky prank by Michael. Darryl says he actually fears for his co-workers. Kevin wants to bet on how many people die in baler accidents – he’s having post Final Four ennui. Darryl keeps emphasizing that none of the upstairs employees (namely Michael) should be anywhere near the equipment in the warehouse. Michael introduces Toby’s portion of the presentation to the combined staff. Toby offers up carpal tunnel syndrome and eye strain prevention tips. Michael wants to talk about the dangerous stuff, like exploding computers, to keep the warehouse staff excited. The issue of SAD (seasonal affective disorder) comes up – depression caused by dim light (among other things). “Dim light is a bitch” (Patrice!) Patrice proceeds to mock Michael (telling him he has “fat butt disease” and Darryl tells Michael that he lives a “nerf-y” life with no danger. Michael counters that he has worked in a warehouse – as a greeter at a Men’s Warehouse.

The staff is playing a guess the number of jellybeans game – seems Kevin’s betting is spreading through the office. Michael thinks office work is dangerous, isn’t it? He’s offended that the warehouse guys were making fun of him. Pam said that the warehousers presentation had impact because they had visual aids – which, of course turned on Michaels’ light bulb. Michael wants to get better props and asks Dwight what to do. He got a trampoline and scheduled a new safety seminar. This one starts with Michael on the roof demonstrating the “cold hard facts” of depression and allows the staff to see the dangers of depression with their own eyes (and make them feel they should have been nicer to the boss…but that’s secondary.) Kelly’s babbling about her Netflix queue to Ryan – everyone bet on what she’d say during her monologue. Michael is a little reluctant about the jump and orders a test. More betting – would Creed notice replacement of his apple with a potato? (Apparently not.) Dwight and Michael; tested the trampoline with a watermelon which bounced and hit a parked car (think it was Stanley’s.) Dwight recruited Andy/Drew to get a bounce house. Michael was still reluctant to make the jump, but Dwight psyches him into a jumping frenzy.

Dwight busts in and tells the office crew that Michael’s on the roof and is ready to jump. Everyone assembles in the parking lot to see Michael go into his “depression”. Dwight and Michael then take part in a grade-school drama production. But the warehouse staff is nowhere to be found – so Dwight heads off to bring them into the parking lot. Jim thinks Dwight and Michael hit their stride during the second performance. Jim spots the bounce house – the jig is up. Pam is worried that Michael’s really going to jump and seriously hurt himself, so they all try to talk him down. Darryl tells Michael he has a lot to live for…like Jan? Apparently not all is well in the land of Jan. Darryl then calls him Braveheart, which is enough to get Michael off the roof. He saved a life – his own.