Drive Episode 101: The Starting Point

“There are 500 million cars worldwide, over half in the US alone and for as long as there have been cars, there has been The Race.”

And with those words, Nathan Fillion returns to my regular television viewing schedule. Shiny! Of course, if you need another reason to give this show a chance, I list 12 over on my blog. Although, with a nod to my co-worker Annie, it’s really 12 and a half, if one includes Kevin Alejandro.

The voiceover proceeds to tell me that The Race could be anywhere, including that road-rage sufferer that cut you off on the way to work, or the bastard who sideswiped my car back in January and didn’t stick around to trade insurance. I expect an apology in person, Nathan Fillion!

We start off with our hero, Tully (whose name is nicely plastered on the side of his truck), in a road race against a mysterious man in a black Charger. Somehow, I don’t think the 1972 F-100 is really going to outrace the Charger. Except, it does. So it’s a hunk of crap that’s faster than she looks? I dub thee, Ford pick-up, Serenity. Millenium Falcon takes longer to type.

Hastings, Nebraska (One Week Ago): Alex Tully is being interviewed by a detective. On the night of their anniversary, his wife, Kathryn, was kidnapped. The detective is fairly skeptical as there’s no sign of forced entry. Also, it looks like Kathryn packed and why on earth would anyone go after a landscape architect? “Now why would someone want to compromise you?” The detective asks. Fangirls everywhere have a very good answer.

Alex Tully’s injuries from the kidnapper, and request to be waterboarded, plus the fact it’s Nathan Fillion, so I’d believe him if he told me he was the reincarnation of Apollo the sun god, convince me that the detective is wrong. As the detective departs, Alex finds the present from his wife on the floor. Oozing angst all over the screen, he places it reverently on a shelf, and puts his present for her next to it. The camera focuses on a picture of the happy couple.

Our illustrious creator / guru, Tim Minear must either be banking on the rabidness of Whedonverse fans (they prefer the term dedicated) or calling in some seriously huge favours, as we have a reunion of sorts in this scene.

Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio (Five Days Ago): My reason number 2 for watching this show, Melanie Lynskey , aka Wendy Patrakas, is proving why cameras should never be permitted around women in labour. We know something is immediately amiss, as she asks her husband not be contacted. So does her doctor, because immediately after the fastest recovery from childbirth ever...

...Wendy hems and haws about going home. The doctor describes various injuries on Wendy’s body and offers help. Saved by the arrival of a fruit basket, Wendy promises to be less clumsy in the future.

Brookbridge Maryland (Three Days Ago): Annie’s reason 12.5 for watching this show, Winston Salazar, is being released from prison.

He believes his father got him out of prison as it would help his political campaign down in Florida. Please, we all know what is really necessary if one wants to get elected in Florida, and doing good deeds isn’t on the list. As he signs for his personal property, there’s an addition he doesn’t recognize – a second cell phone.

Winston has the most pimptastic car ever, a 1964 tricked out Impala. The Winchester brothers weep with envy. After being blown off by his father and his father’s secretary, for not being the “good” brother, Sean, Winston leaves a message for his father – a cell phone isn’t good enough. He wants cash.

Simultaneously, the sound of ringing is heard in Nebraska (it was hidden in the supposed present from Alex’s wife), Ohio (hidden in the gift of the fruit basket) and Maryland (the gift phone) and all three receive the nasty surprise that comes with surprise gifts. The surprise, all three must drive to Key West, Florida – and drive is a must, where they will go to the Ponce de Leon ballroom in the Wayfarer Hotel. They have 15 minutes to get their asses in gear, and they aren’t allowed to call anyone. Unlike Ponce de Leon, they won’t be finding the fountain of youth.

Mr. Gwen Stefani serenades us into one pretty cool theme song and slick set of opening credits.

Key West, Florida: Alex arrives at the wayfarer, just in time to be run into by a suspicious looking blonde and to nearly be trampled by the plethora of other racers. One wouldn’t know it’s a race by the sign for “Bright Properties” outside the ballroom but we all know better. Of course, the other people in the opening credits being a part of that crowd were also a pretty big clue.

Alex goes to the front of the room, where one man is insisting that his daughter doesn’t know the circumstances, but is dismissed by a character we only know as “Mr. Bright.” Not as keen on being dismissed, Alex demands his wife back and threatens all sorts of nasty things, all of which Mr. Bright takes in stride. I’m guessing he’s heard this all before as he responds that going to the cops and “beating me to death” are grounds for immediate disqualification. Who responds like that when their life is threatened? He’s even put out that he has to go through the rules of the race again after all the cool multimedia equipment was put away. In fact, it’s only after Alex throws him on the table, does Mr. Bright give him the information he needs to know.

Just in case you didn’t already guess: it’s a road race, illegal with a 32 million dollar prize. There’s an extra added incentive for Alex. Mr. Bright implies that waiting at the finish line will be his wife. The gift phone rings and delivers the message, “Mainland go.”

Out in the lobby, all of the drivers rush to get into their vehicles and the first off is a couple on a motorbike with Alex in hot pursuit. We have a montage of drivers. A father and daughter (John and Violet) are in a 1998 Silver Ford Taurus. Violet’s not so cool with being one part of a montage, and demands answers from her dad but is a willing participant when he fills her in on the rules of the race. Wendy is in a 2005 Dodge Caravan, ineptly lying to her husband and gets pulled over by the cops. Her husband reported the Caravan stolen which was a bad decision on his part, but she makes a worse decision by fleeing the scene. Winston, in his pimptastic Impala finally gets to talk to his father but doesn’t get any money. Three chicks in a 2006 LR3, Leigh, Ivy Chitty and Susan, scramble for the game phone and to decode the message, while the couple on the motorbike nod knowingly. They’ve already figured it out. Leigh, Ivy Chitty and Susan make “loser” signs at a 1978 Firdebird, containing Ellie and Rob Laird, but Rob, who just returned from Iraq, doesn’t really care as he looks like he wants to make a “pit stop” to tune up his “engine.” (Okay, so double entendres involving cars aren’t my forte.) Some rivalry between the three chicks and the married couple begin. Alex, in Serenity, tries to field questions from his sister and avoid getting into an accident with the mysterious man in the Charger. When his pick-up nearly craps out on the side of the road, Alex narrowly escapes Charger man and discovers that he had a stowaway in the back, Corinna Wiles. She claims that Charger man, was her boyfriend and they’re having one hell of a messy break up – since he’s trying to kill her. Everybody got the respective cars straight?

Corrina exposits on the mythology – that many players are coerced into playing by having someone taken from them. All the while she plays on the fact she’s holding the game phone, and at least has some knowledge of the bigger picture. She asks why someone is so interested in making Alex, a “gardener,” play the game. Serenity breaks down and Kaylee Frye is nowhere to be seen.

Wendy is arrested by a task force completely disproportionate to one minivan. The shocking discovery is not the arrest, but what’s in the baby seat – a mechanized doll. Where’s Sam? What’d she do? Please don’t let this be “he’d be better off dead” scenarios. I have a firm talking to with my television as the commercials break in, preventing me from getting an answer.

Salazar Estate: Winston is caught by a recent high school graduate, who I assume is his half-brother Sean, taking a little back child support. Either that or he’s trying to rob the place blind. Honestly, I don’t care. Where’s the baby?!

Firebird vs. LR3: The three chicks certainly misjudged their competition. Trading on his soldier’s credibility, Rob managed to get four truckers to box in the LR3. Usually, I’d appreciate the comic relief but back to the issue at hand! Where’s Sam?

Taurus: John is over-analyzing the clue. He suggests the clue about going to Jupiter and finding the Red Eye, might have something to do with either astronomy, astrology or ancient Greeks. Violet dismisses the scriptwriters obvious attempt to make John look educated, in order to have her own very obviously scripted I’m-as-smart-as-my-dad moment. They need to go to Jupiter Florida and I want to know what happened to the newborn?!

Police Station: While all the other stuff is going on, Wendy is getting booked and trying to be all sweet and charming but not telling me where Sam went! She insists that her baby is fine. Which means? Fine meaning that she’s hidden him with her mother? Fine as in she allowed him to be adopted by the Richs as a little brother for Richie? Fine as in he’s with God because she beat his head in with a brick? Plus, what’s up with the plastic doll?

All these questions are avoided because Wendy is going to be released. At first, she’s relieved, but then demands to be booked because her husband is about to arrive.

Salazar Estate: Because Sean is a prep-school pretty boy, Winston easily wrestles the gun away from him. After trying to explain that they are brothers, Winston takes the clip out of the gun and tries to leave Sean in peace. Sean’s not so willing to let things lie, reloads the gun, and insists that they are not brothers. His father would’ve told him. Poor Sean’s in for a nasty surprise.

Gas Station: Tully is trying to fix Serenity and get rid Corinna. She does make a valid point that he’d be stuck on the highway if she hadn’t hidden in the truck and he nicely doesn’t point out that the truck probably wouldn’t have broken down if it hadn’t had to play bumper cars with Charger man.

Corinna suddenly spills the answer to the clue. The Red Eye is a lighthouse in Jupiter, Florida. The reason for her sudden urge to share? She’s hoping that’ll give Alex enough trust in her that she can go pee without him ditching her. Honestly, it’s a fair trade. Corinna heads to the head just before Tully sees the Charger pull up.

Just as Charger man is wrapped up in trying to shake Corinna down, Alex whacks him on the head with a wrench. Hey, Mr. Tully in the bathroom with the wrench was never an option whenever I played Clue!

After searching through Charger man’s pockets, Tully learns his name is Alan James, not Bill, like Corinna claimed. Somehow, Alan isn’t as terrifying a name. Alans don’t kill you. Alan sounds like someone who does your taxes.

Corinna confesses that Alan isn’t her ex. He works for the people who run the race.

Salazar Estate: The brothers pull a bait and switch on the phone with their dad. Sean is appalled to learn his father isn’t the man he thought he was. He hangs up on their father in a way that I think we were supposed to glean that he was really hanging up on the relationship. I’m not sure; it was a little too subtle for me.

The boys bond over their mutual hatred for their father. Then Winston has a suggestion that will really piss off Papa.

Gas Station: Alex is terrified that he might’ve angered the people who are holding his wife hostage but Corinna assures him that nothing will happen to Kathryn. The real reason Alan’s been chasing her all day is because she stole a flash drive from him – one that she thinks will tell her the finish line. She picked Tully as a partner because the other choice, Wendy, didn’t seem like a sane bet. Alan won’t tell on them either, as he knows what The Race people will do to him. The Race isn’t just about being fast; it’s about being smart.

Tully’s afraid their race will be ruined by having to avoid Alan, who will wake up with one hell of an angry headache so Corinna has a suggestion. They could just kill him.

“Who are you?” Tully asks. I’d like to know that answer too but that’s secondary to what the hell happened to baby Sam?

Police Station: Wendy is offered more help to escape her husband but before she can do the first smart thing yet and take the help, her husband arrives.

Sometime between the start of the commercial and the end, Wendy and her husband have driven to a picturesque little lake somewhere nearby. I’ve seen this movie a hundred times, and that never ends well.

Wendy assures him that she didn’t say anything then asks permission to ask a question. “Who are you?” Okay, I don’t know if I’m blind or suffering from lost Sam-anxiety but I so didn’t see that coming. Kudos to the casting people for finding someone who looks like an evil, abusive lawyer. His name is Brad and he smiles warmly at the new mother, causing her to open up. She insists she’s not crazy and that Sam is fine. (Again, define “fine!”) The doll was a decoy for her husband and became a surrogate for her baby. Brad gives her one valuable piece of advice, don’t be last.

Somehow, I think Brad, who is a minion for the evil people who run this race, has a soft spot for Wendy. I’d say it’s cute, but I’m still not sure she hasn’t murdered Sam and left him in a church somewhere for burial.

Gas Station: Alex wakes Alan up and gets confirmation that the flash drive is valuable and then punches him out again.

Salazar Estate: Sean and Winston head out in the pimpstastic Impala. Sean has both a gas card and knowledge of the lighthouse in Jupiter. It’s the beginning of brotherly love.

Station: Alex, proving he’s no mental slouch, tells Corinna two things. The first is that he’s sure he’s only got about one third of the truth and the second is that they will play smart, and steal the Charger – which lasts all of about 5 second before breaking down.

Jupiter: After serious road (and sidewalk) race between Serenity and the pimptastic Impala, everyone learns that they weren’t the first to arrive. They were beaten by the couple on the motorbike, who look like someone’s grandparents and...

...about 40 other cars.

“It’s a marathon, Tully, not a sprint. We’ll do better tomorrow,” Corrina promises.

All the other players eye each other. Much later, the Caravan pulls up and Wendy is greeted by Mr. Bright. As she is dead last, she has earned a penalty. The penalty consists of a loaded gun for her to become the eliminating part of the elimination round. Also inside the envelope is a picture of Ivy Chitty.