Drive: Episode 102: Partners

The Race (27 Years Ago): Personally, I want to see The First Race ever but I’ll have to be satisfied with 27 years ago. At what we’re to assume is the finish line is a little girl with blonde curly hair. In the approaching car are her parents, relieved to see their daughter healthy and whole but because of thier focus, they miss the competition, which sideswipes them in a vehicle I didn’t think was even around 27 years ago. In one of the most spectacular car crashes I have ever seen on television, the parents are run off the road. Their car flips over several times, tossing them about like rag dolls. The mother is sucked through the back of the station wagon, and the father, with his neck at a very uncomfortable angle, remains in the driver’s seat.

All the while, the little girl watches. Afterwards, she is taken hold of by a pair of disembodied hands.

The Race (Today): Mr. Bright is giving an update to whoever is the evil genius behind The Race. Here are the stats: 42 cars (the meaning of life, or just a random number?) left Key West. Phones will ring in 37 minutes and there are few cops about to bother them. While Mrs. Patrakas has received Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, for everyone else, it’s a great day for driving. Of in the distance, we see a space shuttle preparing to launch.

Jupiter, Florida: In Preston’s diner, Wendy is watching Ivy Chitty, Leigh and Susan share what’ll be their last meal together. The waitress, who is just way too creepy not to be in on the conspiracy, has a very valid suggestion for the new mom – cover up the gun and Ivy Chitty’s picture as some people won’t understand. Somehow, I think Wendy is one of those people. Meanwhile, Ivy Chitty’s suggesting some tactics that would even make Richard Hatch’s toes curl. She wants to slash some tires, clog some gas tanks and snip some break lines but, most importantly, not kill anyone. Uhh, Ivy Chitty, let me just point out that two out of those three have the distinct possibility of killing someone. Leigh’s not as certain as she thinks karma might come back and bite them. “That’s why we bit first, and bite hard!” Ivy Chitty insists. Okay, it’s going to take a lot to convince me Ivy Chitty isn’t a just a greedy bitch with an IQ lower than the vegetation she’s named after.

No-Tell Motel: Corinna’s still trying to get into Tully’s pants good graces by bringing him food. He’s looking a little worse for wear and babbles on about screaming keeping him up all night. At least he doesn’t hand over the flash drive to her, even though he does suggest, although quickly dismisses, taking it to the police. Clearly, Corinna’s thinking that perhaps the better choice might’ve been the crazy lady with the plastic doll.

The reason for Tully’s aversion is made evident as he goes into the bathroom, sits on the toilet and pulls back the shower curtain. Turns out he shared accommodation the previous night.

“Let’s try this again!” Tully tells the bound Alan in the bathtub. There's no way to type that in which it doesn't sound dirty.

Opening credits, roll over the next couple of scenes – but no Gavin Rossdale. Too bad, I like the opening theme song.

Back at the diner, I’m proven right. The waitress is in on it! She gives Wendy the justification to essentially do anything, no matter how immoral, for the rest of the series that she’s only doing it for her son. As for Ivy Chitty, because she’s beating Wendy, she deserves a bullet to the brain. There is one way out for the new mom; the waitress only maintains that Ivy Chitty must be out of the LR3 by the next check point, or risk being eliminated. The word “dead” never enters into the conversation. The words “gun,” “lioness,” “courage” and “wobbly” are used, but not the word “dead.”

In the motel, Tully is showing us his not quite sane side, by having hallucinatory conversations with his missing wife. That’s what not sleeping for the better part of a week will do to a person. Alan’s not helpful either, as he doesn’t know where Kathryn is and says the only way for Alex to get his wife back is to win the race. Hallucination Kathryn tells Tully not to kill him, in case there were any witnesses. Hey, if one is going to have a hallucination, it’s useful to have one that gets you out of assault and battery charges.

Alan tries to barter some information and turn Tully against Corinna. She’s not in the race, he says and maybe she knows where Kathryn is. Plus, she’s lying about the flash drive, not only does it not have the finish line on it, but also it isn’t encrypted. Alan does have a valid point though, as Tully didn’t have the advantage of the flashback at the beginning of the episode.

Hallucinatory Kathryn must be taking a break, as Alex knocks Alan unconscious.

Posh Hotel: Violet, though enthusiastic about the race, still isn’t sure about her father’s behaviour and she has every right to be worried. John is in the bathroom taking a bunch of pills from vials labeled “Do not operate motor vehicles.” Dude, did you miss the title of the show? This leads into a flash back of one month earlier, where we learn John has less than a year to live, and he’s an astrophysicist.

The game phone rings. “Kennedy killed in ‘73” and a clock running backwards, is the clue. Ellie is hiding another cell phone from her husband – as she’s hiding messages that he’s to report back to base. Violet is proving the education system is failing her by suggesting it might be President Kennedy’s assassination all the while being ogled by Sean Salazar. Corinna is called “partner” by Alex and the entire world wonders how she didn’t pick up on the sarcasm. The LR3 chicks run to their vehicle, while Wendy lies in wait for Ivy Chitty.

Even though John’s already figured out the clue and is just doing that annoying, make-my-kid-figure-it-out-for-herself thing only parents can get away with, Rob’s the first person to clue the audience in. That is, the audience who didn’t watch the Mr. Bright scene at the start. The clock is in military time and he needs to call a friend in the air force to help them out. Ellie isn’t as keen on the plan as then her whole brilliant plan of deleting messages might be ruined.

The brain trust of the race, the chicks in the LR3 are driving aimlessly. Susan suggests pulling off, citing the whole tortoise and the hare fable, but Ivy Chitty points out that the hare lost because he left the race to take a nap. She’d know as it’s probably one of the few books published at her reading level. Being Machiavellian isn’t good when one doesn’t have the intellectual ability to back it up.

In the Caravan, we finally learn baby Sam is fine, just in hiding. Wendy calls the home, on some secret cell phone the home gave her, and talks to her baby. She tells him she loves him, and then follows the LR3 off at the next exit. She’s clearly decided that the security of her baby is worth killing Ivy Chitty.

In Serenity, Alex finally gets some measure of the truth out of Corinna. The flash drive actually contains information on all the other players and yes, she did know about Kathryn’s disappearance when she picked Tully as her ride.

In the Firebird, Ellie’s relieved that the air force buddy knows as little about the army as she does, as the Laird’s learn they’re on the way to Cape Canaveral, which was Cape Kennedy until 1973.

In the Taurus, John is looking worse for wear and Violet’s concerned. Despite this, John is more worried about the pimptastic Impala, that’s been following them since the hotel. He thinks they’re hoodlums. Scoffing, Violet compares them to hoodlums from a road company of West Side Story, and I so want to know who I have to bribe to get Winston and Sean in a pair of tight jeans, dancing to “When You’re a Jet, You’re a Jet.” Violet reciprocates Sean’s early staring while Sean has also figured out the clue. Winston, on the other hand, had a different plan, follow the intelligent astrophysicist. I have to admit, it’s not a bad plan.

Deciding he doesn’t want to be followed, John takes on the pimptastic Impala, weaving in and out of traffic. Winston’s more than man enough to take up the challenge, and follows. Both Violet and Sean look like they need a change of underwear as they both nearly crash into a flatbed truck – allowing the Taurus time to get away.

Back with Serenity, Alex, angry that he’s been made the fool, and tries to ditch Corinna at the side of the highway with Alan. She’s not too keen on being left behind and whacks him in the head with her laptop. I think that invalidates the warranty.

Later, Alex wakes up to find Serenity, Corinna and Alan missing.

In the LR3, the brain trust can’t figure out the clue. They’re trying to solve it MTV style by thinking it has something to do with a Kennedy compound. Yes, I’m sure the Kennedys want to be involved in an illegal road race. We all know how well the Kennedys take to driving. They’re taken off the task at hand by a loud noise, which none of them recognize as a gun shot. Come on, how believable is that? Aren’t these women from New Orleans? No, they pile out of the car only to be greeted by a very awkward looking Wendy, offering assistance.

Alex manages to get a lift from a trucker from JOM Trucking, hauling what looks to be either an actor’s trailer or a cattle carriage. When the trucker asks if “she” left him, Tully is alarmed, but hen appeased when the trucker implies it was just a lovers’ quarrel.

I think Ivy’s got a clue that something’s up, as she quizzes Wendy about both the baby and why she’s stopped to help but I’m proven wrong, when she readily accepts the explanation that it’s just good karma. Only when the LR3 trio takes the tire off, do they realize that it was shot out. These women are too dumb to live! Even when Wendy points a gun at them, promising to pay for the tire, when Leigh responds, “You’ll pay for it but you’re robbing us?” I suddenly wouldn’t mind if Wendy missed and hit Leigh too. The three of them have the combined brainpower of Dustin and Kandice, just split three ways instead of two. Wendy pleads that she’s not a thief, she’s something worse.

Back in the truck, the trucker says that he has something in the back that may help Alex out of this mess and Alex refuses because he doesn’t want to get the nice man in trouble. The trucker claims it isn’t a problem as stuff gets lost “along the way” all the time and if I wasn’t already suspecting this guy, the way he nicely introduced what I’m sure is going to be a major theme of the series, definitely raised my hackles. (Out of curiousity, what exactly are hackles? I’ve never known.)

Tully is freed from making further excuses as Serenity is waiting for him at the side of the road. The truck drives off and Alex runs in the direction of Corinna’s voice. Personally, I just would’ve climbed in the truck and driven away.

Back at the less than mediocre (it’s not even OK) corral, Ivy’s not too pleased that she’s been marked for elimination and does the only thing she can think of, grabs the gun from Wendy and points it at her. I reiterate, is this supposed to be funny?

A shot is heard, but it’s in the orange grove near Serenity. Being the hero he is, he runs towards the shot, and stops Corinna before she can aerate Alan and demands answers.

Corinna’s figured that Alex won’t take her with him, so the only way she can get vengeance on those who run the race, is to kill Alan. She explains all about the opening flashback and how she and Alex are, at the core, the same.

Alan uses the distraction as a chance to get up and attack Tully with a shovel. Somehow, I don’t think attacking a gardener with a shovel, an implement he probably has way more experience in using, is that bright of an idea and Alex does wrestle it away easily. Corinna tries to help, but only winds up as Alan’s hostage as we head into commercial break.

Cape Canaveral: The Salazars arrive with 27 minutes until the launch. They spot Mr. Bright handing out little red tickets. They are surprised to learn that it isn’t the end of the race, or even the end of the leg. Although, I have to say, it would be much nicer if Phil was there to tell people. He’s cuter than Mr. Bright.

In case we needed some comic relief, we swing back to the elimination gone haywire. Wendy explains the whole “not in the car at the next checkpoint” rule and why she’s in the race. She shows Ivy Chitty a picture of baby Sam leading Ivy Chitty to a realization. Unlike her friends in the LR3, Wendy has a real reason to win the race, not some abstract concept of fun. She gives Wendy and offer she can’t refuse and a way to make good on the penalty – Ivy Chitty will become her partner. Okay, maybe she isn’t as stupid as I thought. Although, the enthusiasm with which Ivy Chitty has for her new teammate, makes Wendy wish she’d shot her.

The pair drives off, with Susan and Leigh eating their dust.

Cape Canaveral: John and Violet arrive with 24 minutes to spare and John looking like he’s about to pass out.

In the orange grove, Corinna earns a little of my forgiveness by realizing the truth of the situation. Even though Alan is pointing a gun at Alex, he can’t shoot. As someone has gone to a lot of trouble to get Tully in the race, the people running it would be mighty cheesed off if Alan went and shot their player. Tully returns the favour by saying that, as his partner, Alan can’t shoot Corinna and if he did, Tully would just turn the flash drive over to Mr. Bright at the next checkpoint. Realizing he’s completely screwed, Alan lets them both go.

Completely earning my forgiveness for attacking Tully earlier, Corinna knocks Alan out with a shovel. Tully is as impressed as I am.

Cape Canaveral: Speaking of unconsciousness, after admiring the view of the space shuttle, John collapses. Sean, along with the reluctant Winston, stops to help and carry John back to the car. Once in the car, John awakens and lies through his teeth about what’s wrong with him. When Violet thanks the Salazars, even my somewhat less than sappy heart melts a little when Sean gives Violet the information about the next leg and his ticket. He runs back for another one.

Regretting his decision to enter the race, John is quickly chastised by Violet, who refuses to give up. She doesn’t know what’s coming but is ready to “blast off into the unknown and find out.” Once she says it, she realizes how lame she sounds. She peels off making me wonder if she even has her learner’s permit as her father scrabbles to close the car door.

In the interim, Mr. Bright is getting a little exasperated at explaining the concept of a cross-country race means that the teams have to go outside of Florida but he is impressed with the way Wendy and Ivy Chitty got out of the elimination. The finish line for this leg of the race is in Rome, Georgia, 486 miles away, and the teams have to get there by sunset. I’m sensing an increase in revenue for the Highway Patrol. Wendy’s confused, but Ivy Chitty wants to get on the road, “I did not appreciate that elimination thingy.” Oh sweetie, avoid non-words like “thingy” when trying to sound tough.

Just as the Taurus is leaving, Serenity arrives. Corinna and Alex pass Wendy and Ivy Chitty, and confront Mr. Bright, who reprimands Tully for being late. Except he’s not, and Alex points that out. After officially making Corinna his partner, he refuses to continue without proof they have his wife.

Mr. Bright hands Corinna a ticket and tells her she must be in Rome, Georgia after sunset but before dark. What’s with the different set of instructions? Is it a clue or just bad continuity? Tell me!

As the shuttle takes off, Alex gets his proof – live video feed of the trucker from earlier, with a bound Kathryn.

Partners 16

Looking up at the shuttle, Susan and Leigh finally get a clue. Violet, John, the Lairds, and the Salazars are mesmerized watching it fly off into space. Ivy Chitty sleeps while Wendy, one of only three people to understand the true high stakes of the game, gives her a look of disgust. Tully and Corinna don’t give a crap. They’re in it to win it.

Partners 17

And all of the competitors blast off into the unknown. Wow, that is lame.