Smallville - Episode 620 - Noir

At the Daily Planet, Chloe is stuck on phone duty, so Jimmy arranges a surprise for her while everyone else is covering an event with the visiting Senator Burke.  The treat is a private viewing of The Big Sleep, a classic Bogart and Bacall movie from 1946.  They settle down to watch, Jimmy mouthing the dialogue.  That really drives me nuts when I'm watching a movie, but Chloe appears to be charmed.  The get about two minutes in before they abandon the movie in favor of macking, but before things can really heat up, they're interrupted by a gunshot.  In the lobby, Jimmy snaps a photo of a fleeing intruder with his cellphone, while Chloe finds Lana unconscious in the elevator, bleeding from a gunshot wound to the shoulder.

Approximately eighty bazillion people show up to the Planet in response to Lana's shooting, including Clark.  Chloe tells him Lana is in serious condition.  Lionel whispers to the still unconscious Lana that he's sorry he got her caught up in this, but he'll find whomever shot her.  Lex shows up, and Lionel tells him they're having Lana flown back to Smallville to see a specialist.  Um, what?  Since when does Smallville have specialists better than those in Metropolis?  And since when do I try and read logic into this show?  While Lex argues with Lionel over who's responsible for leaving Lana alone, Lois tries to sweet talk a cop into giving her information.  When he refuses, she "accidentally" drops her purse over the items found next to Lana, swiping a silver cigarette case when she picks up her stuff.  The cop may be fooled by Lois' shtick, but Lionel, who watches Lois from the crowd, clearly isn't.

Clark skeptically asks Chloe if she really thinks Lana was mugged inside the Daily Planet, which is the official police statement.  Chloe says Lana was dressed in formalwear and was alone, so it's not impossible.  Jimmy interjects that it's odd that Lana was having dinner with Lionel rather than Lex, but Clark and Chloe both ignore him.  Clark emos that he should have been there to protect Lana, which Chloe thinks is going a little overboard.  Next he'll want to escort her to the bathroom to make sure there's no evil serial killer lurking about who will try and, I don't know, stab her to death with a tampon.  Chloe sends Clark to try and get more information from the police and directs Jimmy to download the photo of Lana's attacker from his phone.  He stares in frustration after Chloe, since she and Clark basically ran over the top of him when he tried to dig deeper into what happened.  They really are a good example of "two's company, three's a crowd" sometimes.  Poor Jimmy.

Jimmy downloads the photos he took while his movie plays in the background.  Someone sneaks in and hits him over the head, knocking him out.  When he wakes up, all of the color has leached out of the world.  It reminds me of that Calvin and Hobbes comic .  Ah, it's fun when parents fuck with their kids.  Jimmy awakens in a busy newsroom on May 3, 1940.  I sort of love this concept, because it's noir through Jimmy's eyes.  In it, Chloe is his plucky assistant (yes, plucky), he's the star reporter, and Clark is a bumbling, geeky, yet totally adorable novice reporter who runs into Chloe and spills coffee all over her.  He dabs at her boobs to get the coffee off, stammering an apology.  Damn, Tom Welling is good at the nervous reporter act.  Really good.
Jimmy takes a phone call from none other than Lana Luthor, whose voice is husky enough to rival a two-pack a day smoker.  She is, in fact smoking, which everyone and God does in this episode.  I'll bet the Y DO U THINK assholes are going nuts.  I mean, I don't smoke, but STFU already.  She tells Jimmy she's calling to report a murder...her own.  Cue the dramatic music!

Jimmy meets Lana in an alley, where she explains that Lex is trying to kill her.  She says she was almost run down the other day.  Lana tells "James" how brave and confident he is.  I just love Jimmy's dream of himself.  Apparently ego stroking is the way to go, because Jimmy agrees to help Lana.  She produces a silver cigarette case, the same one from the real Lana's purse, and said she found it in Lex's jacket.  Jimmy finds a matchbook for the Talon inside.

The Talon is smoky dinner club where Jimmy is almost turned away.  Clark intervenes and brings him inside.  Gone is the bumbling reporter, to my heart's dismay, although this Clark is suave and, well, super hot.  Heh.  Lionel, the bar owner, serves them drinks, and Lois walks down the stairs and sings a sultry tune while Jimmy sits enthralled until he spots Lionel and Lex talking.  Clark leaves, and Lionel gives Jimmy a tip, telling him that when Lex leaves, he makes sure everyone knows it, but he's not actually in his car when it pulls away.  Conveniently, Lex chooses that moment to make his exit.

Outside, Lex's entourage leads him to his car, but Lionel was correct:  when it pulls away, Lex isn't inside.  He drives off in his own car, and Jimmy follows.

Lex meets Lois at the Kent Farm barn.  She's upset that she's not going to be a part of his real life, but Lex says Lana will be out of the picture soon enough.  Jimmy snaps a shot of Lex and Lois in a kiss, and a car chase ensues as Lex tries to overtake Jimmy and retrieve his camera.  The car chase is shot in true vintage style, with dramatic music and Jimmy narrowly dodging a speeding train.  He speeds off as Lex's car is overturned.

Did ya'll know there's a new Smallville comic?  Because they only showed us every.  Freaking.  Commercial.  What I love best is that one dude says "ARGH" in it.  Hee, it's like the Justice League is made up of pirates.

Jimmy meets Lana at the Luthor mansion, confirming that Lex is indeed trying to get rid of her.  Jimmy offers to take care of Lex for her, and she gives him a gun to use...for protection.

Jimmy confronts Lex in a parking lot, taunting him with the photo of Lex and Lois kissing.  Lex agrees that he is trying to get rid of Lana, but by divorcing her.  He says Jimmy isn't the first man to get caught in Lana's web.  He moves to pull something out of his jacket, and Jimmy pulls his gun and shoots Lex, who, it turns out, was pulling out a cigarette case.  Oops.  The cops respond in record time - ah, the forties - and Jimmy makes his escape, grabbing the case before he goes.

At the Daily Planet, the phones are going crazy with the news.  Chloe takes over at the switchboard so she can get the scoop:  Lex Luthor has been murdered, and the suspect's description meets Jimmy's.

Back at the Talon, Jimmy smokes and drinks his sorrows away while Lionel bemoans "dames."  Yeah, yeah, try dating someone with a penis and THEN come whine to me.  Chloe intercepts before Jimmy and Lionel can devolve into "I love you, man!" territory and tells Jimmy he was set up.  Lana's private phone number has been called by a certain new reporter at the Daily Planet.  They leave to investigate, and Lionel calls Lana to warn her that Jimmy took the bait, but he's on to her.  She tells Lionel it doesn't matter, because he's back on top of the "lowlife foodchain" and she's out of a suffocating marriage.  As she dresses, Sexy!Clark comes out of the bathroom and jerks her into a kiss.  DAMN.  She tells him they won't have to sneak around much longer and leaves, putting a gun into her purse.

At the Daily Planet, Jimmy confronts Clark about setting him up.  Clark's chair spins around, and it's not Clark at his desk, but Lana.  She says she set Jimmy up, but she pulls out her gun and says the police won't get the chance to put Jimmy away for Lex's murder.  She shoots Jimmy but is shot herself...by Clark!!!  Oh, the irony.  Jimmy, however, is okay; saved by the silver cigarette case in his jacket.  Clark reveals that he's an undercover policeman sent to tail Lex.  He made the dumb mistake of falling in love with Lana.  Jimmy agrees that her eyes could make a man agree to anything, and Clark says Jimmy's actions just got him the electric chair.  Clark escorts him out, reporters' camera bulbs flashing at him...

...and Chloe wakes him up.  The photo of Lana's attacker is gone, but the photo Jimmy took of the evidence from Lana's purse is there.  Jimmy spots the cigarette case, but when they revisit the crime scene, the case is gone.  Jimmy says that Lana didn't even know Chloe was working, so maybe she was there to see someone else, and that the case had something in it.  

They use the elevator memory to go to the floor Lana was on before she was shot:  the Political Correspondence floor.  They break into a reporter's office, since he was the only one there when Lana was shot.  He enters, and they confront him.  Although he claims innocence at first, he says he didn't shoot Lana, but that he was there to meet her regarding a story.  Before he can tell them more, he's shot.  Jimmy tells Chloe to call 911 (which, of course, equals "Clark") and runs after the shooter.  He and Chloe manage incapacitate the shooter, but not before Chloe is knocked over the stair rail.  Luckily, Clark is there to catch her several floors down.  To Jimmy's relief, Chloe is safe and sound at the bottom.

At the Talon, Lionel waits for Lois in her apartment, where he instructs his lackey to take the cigarette case out of her purse.  Inside is a flashdrive, which Lana claims is blank.  It's not clear to me if she was lying or not able to play it, but Lionel opens a video on the drive that shows Lex meeting with Senator Burke on Project Aires, mentioned in the last episode.  Lois figures out that a) Lionel is surprised to find that Lex was meeting with Burke, and b) Lana doublecrossed both Lex and Lionel, since she didn't tell Lionel about Lex's meeting.  Lionel warns her that Senator Burke's people already tried to kill Lana, so she could easily be next.

Chloe visits Lana at the hospital.  Lana says that Lionel asked her to spy on Lex, but she decided to give her information to the papers instead so she could be free of both of them.  Chloe thinks that's why she went through with the wedding, but Lana says it was to protect Clark.  She asks Chloe to trust her...Clark's life could depend on it.

At the Planet, Clark's investigation on Lana has reached a dead end.  Chloe seems unconcerned, and Clark goes ballistic, saying he's going to find out who shot Lana, even if Chloe won't help him.  Chloe tells him to back off.  Sometimes people do things that seem odd but are really for the benefit of others.  Clark figures out that Lana is trying to protect him, but not from Lex - from Lionel.

At the hospital, Lex is briefed on Lana's attacker.  He reaches the same dead end Clark does, except his security member says the gun found at the scene was one of Lex's guns that was stolen.

Chloe meets Jimmy in the alley behind the Talon.  He's made the front page of the Daily Planet for his help in apprehending the murderer of the reporter.  He's been sent on assignment due to his newfound fame, but before he goes, he wants to take one photo.  Setting the timer on his camera, he sweeps Chloe into a kiss, a la classic movie style.  Dude, as long he didn't whisper along with movies, I would let him smooch me.  Jimmy, call me!