Law & Order: SVU (5/08/2007) Steve Daschle? Malcolm Royce? Medea?

I almost missed the beginning of this episode because it began with a maid thoroughly cleaning up an upscale apartment. I thought it was just a commercial for Clorox Bleach until I noticed that the maid was overweight and Hispanic and we all know that no advertiser would have such a person in their commercials. The maid stumbles upon a dead body.

Dun Dun

Detectives Elliot Stabler and Olivia Benson arrive on the scene. Cynthia Young was raped and murdered but there is no DNA to be found because the maid did a very thorough cleaning job and the perp used a condom. Doctor Melinda Warner explains that the cause of death was a broken neck, executed in straight military fashion. This was a pro. A little further looking around by the detectives results in them finding a wedding dress, but there is no pictures of any possible groom.

Detectives Benson and Stabler go to the victim's parent's house to try and learn more information about the deceased and the MIA fiance. As they watch the engagement party video, the father of Cynthia Young begins blaming the fiance, Steve Daschle. Cynthia's father reveals that Cynthia explained her finance's frequent absences as being caused by his work. She claims that Steve Daschle was a CIA agent who had recently been receiving death threats and that Fatwa was issued by the Indonesian terrorist cell Jemaah Islamiyah. I knew right away what this meant. Yes, correct spelling for this recap was going to be a real pain in the ass.

Detective Munch can't find any information on CIA agent Steve Daschle so Detectives Benson and Stabler go to the CIA to try to get answers. I imagine that this is just like going to OZ to try and get a brain or some courage. After getting nowhere with the CIA, Stabler calls on a favor that he is owed by an old buddy working in the Terrorism Task Force. At first Stabler's old pal is reluctant to give out information, but Stabler mentions a certain "blonde girl" and the agent suddenly feels like he really does owe. Nothing like trading national security for some blonde piece of ass, right? I'm not being sarcastic and don't you dare judge him for it. He may be a special agent, but he is a man for God's sake and he has needs. The agent leads the detectives to a not-so-confidential informant, who tells them they are being lied to. Fatwas are only issued by Middle Eastern Terrorist Groups and not Indonesian groups like Jemaah Islamiyah. Yeah, no shit, everyone knows that.

Detective Munch traces the prepaid cell phone that was being used by Steve Daschle to a neighborhood bodega in Staten Island. From there, Detectives Stabler and Benson track down the residence of Daschle. They knock on the door and a blonde woman with crazy googley eyes opens the door and informs them that she doesn't know Steve Daschle. She calls for her husband and Steve Daschle comes to the door. Turns out that Steve Daschle is really Malcolm Royce and he isn't a CIA Operative but he is a married father of three with a boring job like the rest of us.

Steve, er, I mean Malcolm tells Elliot Stabler that he loves his wife and he loved Cynthia Young also. He tells Stabler he was at a pizza parlor with his kids while his wife was at a book club on the night of the crime. His alibi checks out, but the toll road records show his car did go to Staten Island later that night. The evidence starts pointing towards his betrayed wife, when he tells them that she had his car that night because he needed the mini-van to haul around his kids.

Detectives Stabler and Benson go to interview Mrs. Royce (if that is her real name). She tells them that she did drive into the city after her book club so that she could get a drink. When they question her motives for driving all the way to the city, she tells them that her housewife life is very boring and that she needs to get out and have some fun sometimes. This, ladies and gentlemen, is why I would never let my girlfriend join a book club. The best case scenario is that she would be throwing money at the Oprah book club and pretending to be smarter than me and the worst case scenario is that it would just be an alibi to get away so that she could stuff rolled up dollar bills down some wannabe-actor's G-string down at Banana Hammock's Ladies Lounge. I ain't falling for that shit again. No book clubs. Stabler goes outside to escape this depressing weirdo's tirades against men and meets up with her young son. The young son tells him that his mom is sad because his father is sick. Sick? Yes, Mom says he has gotten sick from a dirty whore. This dialogue was hilarious but Stabler learned what he needed to know and refrained from teaching the young boy the truth. You don't get sick FROM a dirty whore but you can get sick OF a dirty whore. The young son tells Stabler that he heard his mom discussing it with her best friend, Mrs. Lefkowitz.

Detective Stabler and Benson practically run to Mrs Lefkowitz to pump her for information. If there is one thing that gossiping old hens love more than sharing secrets with their friends, it's sharing secrets about their friends. Lefkowitz doesn't disappoint and she tells the detectives that Lindsey Royce survived breast cancer, but after the mastectomy she was very depressed and ended up in a looney bin. Then she found out her husband was cheating on her. Lindsey wouldn't divorce him though, because she was a good Catholic and instead told her that she would "make him pay." Good Catholic indeed.

Detectives Stabler and Benson go back to the Royce residence to confront Lindsey with the knowledge that she knew of her husband's affair before the murder. They arrive and the lights are out and the house has a really creepy vibe to it. They go inside and find all the children shot in their beds, Malcolm Royce shot in his bed, and Lindsey shot in the head with the weapon beside her. It looks like she shot everyone and then killed herself. A moment later, Malcolm cries out for help and they call an ambulance as he is still alive.

When Malcolm regains consciousness at the hospital, Stabler and Benson tell him the good news that his psycho wife killed their children and then herself. He starts to lose it and Stabler bails. It is clear that discovering the corpses of Malcolm's children is really taking its toll on Stabler. He goes home to check on his kids. He spends a few seconds gazing at his sleeping children before he allows himself to be seduced by his estranged wife. His motivation for going home was obviously to see his children, but maybe all of this spousal betrayal at work has made him a little horny also. Remember what I said about judging earlier? He is a man and, even if he still has the vision of bloody Spongebob Squarepants pajamas lingering in his recent memory, it doesn't mean that he doesn't have needs for God's sake. His daugher catches him drinking orange juice straight from the carton (definitely a territorial move - good job, Stabler) and tells him to stop treating her mom like a booty call. Ouch.

Luckily, Stabler has a great excuse to not stay and cuddle with Mrs. Stabler because his phone rings and the forensics lab has important news for him. He is all too happy to rush out to find out what the news is. It turns out that the trajectory of the bullets make it impossible that anyone shot Malcolm except for Malcolm. Stabler goes to the hospital and baby talks Malcolm from jumping off the roof only to tell him, "I should have pushed you."

Stabler's interrogation skills were nothing less than stunning this episode. Stabler identifies Malcolm's secret desire to be in control by confessing to his crimes. He gets Malcolm to admit that he shot his wife after he woke up to the sounds of her shooting his children. Stabler knows he will need more to get a conviction from the jury, so he presses on. In the next room, Captain Donald Cragen is told that the forensics lab found Malcolm's fingerprint on the lock box for the murder weapon and also found a bunch of covert books on murder, including one that detailed how to break a neck a la Cynthia Young. Stabler finally pretends to lose it and locks the interrogation room and puts his hands on Malcolm's neck in the same fashion that was used to kill Cynthia Young. He tells Malcolm that he is going to kill him and make him suffer the way his kids had to suffer. Malcolm is scared shitless and blurts out that his kids didn't suffer because he snuck them sleeping pills before he shot them.

The confession doesn't bring any joy to Stabler. He looks as pale as a ghost and his face is that of a man who just lost all faith in humanity. He walks out of the precinct and cannot even respond to the concerned questions of his colleagues and friends. It is an amazing sight. He just walks and struggles to keep breathing and it is obvious that Stabler's whole belief in goodness and justice has just been threatened by what he has witnessed.

I know this feeling. I have done this same walk of despair as I walked into my girlfriend's apartment after losing the rent money in a dice game in the back of a strip club after consuming a handle of whiskey all the while she thought that I was at my weekly book club.