Tyra and Jazz
Last week scowly Dionne was sent home. Renee, Jaslene and Natasha remain. Can they survive the notoriously difficult Cover Girl shoot? Who will earn the right to rock the runway? Who wants to be on top (na na na na na na)?
COVER GIRLS: The top 3 have to improv their way through their possible first "My Life As a Cover Girl" ad and get smiley in some beauty shots for a print campaign.
Natasha is up first, and she's a wreck. She always gets the important info out there, but I think her inability to speak english clearly is going to come back to haunt her. It's endearing, until there's a product to sell.
Jaslene has a disjointed delivery, but she throws some Spanish in, which wows everyone on set. Good move, Jazz, that shit's marketable.
Renee starts her ad off with: "when I had a baby, I thought my life was over." DOWNER! She takes a new tack and ends up with the most natural and sweet performance of the day.
At the photo shoot, the girls are surprised to learn how hard it is to smile! Caridee is there to help, and she coaches uncomfortable Natasha through her time. Jaslene's man-jaw gets tired, but Renee comes in with confidence and nails it.
FIRST PANEL: A review of the girls' commercials and photos at panel confirms earlier impressions that Renee had the strongest week. Add to that her consistent pics and Natasha's displayed inability to walk well, and it seems like she's a shoo-in. Unfortunately, the judges decide she looks too old, and the final showdown is set to be between Jaslene and Natasha.
I don't know about that. Natasha is good TV, but Renee is better than both the finalists. She and Melinda should get together and commisserate.
TYRA MEETINGS: Now that we're left with just two girls, it's time for Tyra to meet with them and make them cry. Basically, Natasha considers herself an American and Jaslene has come a long way, baby. Yadda, sob, yadda, sob.
RUNWAY CHALLENGE: The girls are facing off in a runway show where they start as "early woman" and end as "modern, sophisticated, vaguely angry woman" (seriously, why are runway walks so violent?).
As much as they want to tell us otherwise, and as sweet as Natasha's skirt-falling-off-save is, Jaslene wins this one hands down. She may not have the height, but her legs compensate. From the start, this has been cha-cha diva Jaslene's strength, and it shows.
LAST PANEL: Examining the side-by-sides pf Natasha and Jaslene's progress, there is just no way that Natasha could win. And yet...she touches Tyra's heart, so I am concerned. After the requisite amount of Top Model drama, Jaslene's face flashes up on the monitor. She was cut last cycle, but she's now America's Next Top Model!
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Ugh!
Jaslene looks like a tired out drag queen. And not one of the good ones where you have to take a second look to figure out if it's a guy or a girl. No, Jaslene looks like the kind of drag queen who just wants to look like a guy in a dress. She's utterly incomprehensible when she speaks, the only personality she ever (rarely) displayed is Charo on Crystal Meth, and she walks like she has a stick up her...backside. While Natasha wasn't great at English either, or walking for that matter, at least she was endearing, attractive and a fun person. It was a sad and predictable ending, much like the entire cycle. Tyra, if you're listening, hire those writers back and for the love of Baby Jesus in the manger, pick a winner that has more going for them than their skin color!
And secondly, after Jaslene's victory, the next time I hear Tyra say ANYTHING about the need to use more naturally sized women in modelling, I will slap that weave right off her head. Way to promote positive body images, Tyra!
Another sobering thought is that next cycle we'll all be "treated" to Jaslene's "My Life As A Covah Gull" commercials. Yay. *retch*
For the record, I really liked Whitney. Not because she was "plus sized" (re: normal sized to everyone else!), not because she was black or white, but because she was a beautful girl with a lot of personality. I would buy Cover Girl products from Whitney. I would vomit on Jaslene is she tried to sell me anything.
Oh and great job on the recaps Megan, I enjoyed them even more than the actual show!