Charm School - "Tore Up from the Floor Up"

Becky ponders her bittersweet victory of last week, which sent sneaky Larissa home. Today, the ladies are addressing commandment #9 (yay, only one to go!), "Unless thou can play, thou will be played." Yep, it's time for a little relationship 101. This class is led by a man named Tariq, a mack daddy who wrote a lot of mack daddy-type books. Shay seems very happy to be studying under Tariq. Tariq says that the ladies need to avoid the 4 "Ps" - players, professionals, pushovers and parolees. They need to find an "Urban Renaissance Man." The ladies are going to test their relationship skills at the Charm School prom. Men representing the 4 "Ps" and one true "Urban Renaissance Man" will be in attendance. The lady who can find Mr. URM will be safe from elimination.

The ladies go upstairs to find a lovely array of dresses from the Skanky Prom Collection for their use. The ladies have been man-less for a while and are anxious for some male companionship. Here come the boys - or "ugly-looking fools" as Saaphyri noted. (Dang! The one I thougt was cute - Brandon - is a "pushover"! Can I pick 'em or what?) Mo and the judges are going to watch the festivities from above. Leilene claims her forte is picking men, so she's confident she'll find the URM (although, earlier in the episode, she claimed to be an "a-hole magnet". Go figure.) Of course, the "parolee" spikes the punch and the good times start rolling. Becky decides to talk to all of the men and Brooke acts completely "slutacious" (a new Mo-cabulary word for you all.) Mo is embarassed for Brooke, she's all over the guys like a cheap suit (or prom dress). Leilene set her sights on "the professional" and chatted him up exclusively (with such insightful discussion as praiaing "Dude, Where's My Car?" and playing a raucous game of "rock, paper, scissors." Brooke spoke briefly with the URM, but thought he was dull and moved on. She's not a tease, but she loves to please. Yep, she said it. Then, she demonstrated her "swallowing ability" by sucking shots (of "dog liquor"...Mo-cabulary strikes again!) off the ice scuplture. Classy. The URM is all alone, Brooke's grinding on the parolee, who gets into a verbal altercation with Saaphyri. Mo's had enough and ends the party. No one picked the URM - shocker!

The gals felt played. They came downstairs for an assignment from Mo - they had to pick the best and worst representative of Charm School from the previous evening's festivities. I think we all pretty much know who's screwed right about now...Oh, by the way, I know we're in a very politically correct climate, but c'mon VH-1, ho. Ho, ho, ho. You don't need to beep that, we're all adults here! Much scheming and "I'll vote for you if you vote for me". It seems Leilene has the deciding vote, and she's just a confused mess. In the end, Becky was voted the best, and was safe from elimination. Brooke, of course, was worst. In a show of fine sportsmanship, Brooke immediately went after Leilene.

It's elimination time. Brooke, Saaphyri and Leilene are called on the carpet. Leilene was quickly returned to school, Saaphyri was chided for the fight with the parolee, but ol' Brooke got the worst of it. She was called "Pamela Anderson on crack" and a "pig" (by Keith.) The "slutacious" (Mo was delihed to be able to throw that one in again) Whore of Charm School is gone - and she didn't spit on anyone this time - but she's maaaaad. Next week - mandatory clip show time and then it's (thankfully) the final exam!