So You Think You Can Dance - Episode 309 - 2 of 18 Voted Off Live

Cat fashion watch: mid-calf length buttery yellow strapless dress, strappy heels, and curly hair. The group dance tonight is choreographed by Shane Sparks, set to "All In Your Mind" by Wade Robson. I...really don't know how to explain it. It starts out with three of the girls in black tutus and it's like they're doing a dark side version of ballet, then there's some breakdancing with Sara at the center, but that's also got a dark, almost sinister vibe. Then there's some hip-hop, again with the evil dancing theme, and it finishes up with a contemporary routine in which Sabra is a wind that blows all the other dancers around. Perhaps the idea is to portray how the denizens of hell would dance these different styles? Or, um...something? I really have no clue. I liked it a lot, and I love how Shane stands up and claps for himself when it's over because he knows he's awesome, but I can't explain it at all.

Cat calls the three groups of three to the stage one at a time. In the first group are Lauren and Neil, Jessi and Pasha and Jaimie and Hok. I think it's going to be Jaimie and Hok since they were the weakest of the three last night but, shocker, it's Jessi and Pasha. What? That's BULLSHIT. Stupid voters. The judges are stunned and poor Jessi looks like she's going to vomit right on the floor, bless her heart. The next group includes Lacey and Kameron, Anya and Danny, and Sabra and Dominic. Again, I think I know who's in the bottom (Sabra and Dominic) and I'm sad because they were so awesome. But again, I am surprised, happily this time, because all three pairs are safe. When Cat tells Sabra and Dominic they're safe, he literally throws Sabra to the floor and they roll around for a few slightly uncomfortable yet endearing seconds. I suspect Dominic has a wee crush on Sabra. They also hug Cat so hard and vigorously that she gets a little flustered. Hee. The final group is Sara and Jesus, Shauna and Jimmy, and Faina and Cedric. Cat tells Sara and Jesus they're safe, which means Shauna and Jimmy and Faina and Cedric join Jessi and Pasha in the bottom three.

Cat asks the judges for their thoughts and they can't believe Jessi and Pasha are in the bottom three. Mia also says she thinks Faina and Cedric are the only couple who really should've been in the bottom three and while I understand how she feels, that's not the way the show works. Given the quality of this group of dancers overall, it's going to suck out loud each week no matter who goes home.

It's time for the solo dances. Jessi is up first, dancing to Kina's "Hurt So Bad." She's wearing a cute baby doll dress which, in the first three seconds, she lifts up top flash her panties. WTF? She writhes and twirls a bit, continues to flash her panties, and that's basically her dance. Jessi is now apparently three years old. That effing BLEW, and the whole thing is made even more idiotic when Jessi has to adjust her dress when she's done because she almost fell out of it. Classy. Pasha is next and he does an awesome, charming solo in which his wonderful personality and exuberance is on full display. I love him so, so much and I want to have cute gap-toothed babies with him. Next up is Shauna and she dances to "Everything" by Lifehouse and although she can sometimes be bland and forgettable, she was absolutely lovely and captivating in her solo. Jimmy dances next and I'm astonished at how long his legs are. He's graceful and I like his solo, but he doesn't grab my attention. After a commercial break, Faina dances and it's not as fun as her solo last week. She spends way too much time posing and vamping, and not enough time actually dancing. Last is Cedric, dancing to Imogen Heap's "Hide and Seek," and he's Mr. Rubber Band man again. It's impressive, as usual, but it's nothing new from him.

While the judges hang out in the stairwell and smoke cigarettes do shots deliberate, Daddy Yankee performs. Yawn. I really wish they'd get professional dancers to perform on the results shows and not forgettable C-level pop stars.

After another commercial break, the judges come back to the table to announce their decision. The girls are up first and Nigel says it was a unanimous decision. He tells Jessi that they didn't like her solo, then tells her to step back. Shauna's up next and he says she really did "dance for her life" and they all loved her solo, so she's safe. Finally Faina is called up and Nigel tells her that her solo wasn't good enough and she's going home. Jessi manages to hug Faina before she has to rush off stage to barf, then Cat interviews Faina, who says she's had a wonderful experience. Her video journey is played, then she's shooed off the stage so the guys can have their turn. Nigel tells them that this decision was not unanimous, tells Pasha his solo wasn't that good (whatevs) but that he's safe. Then he babbles for-freakin'-EVER about uniqueness versus talent, with Mia on the side of uniqueness (Cedric) and Mary on the side of talent (Jimmy), with Nigel conflicted. Finally, Nigel says he picked uniqueness, which means Jimmy's getting the boot.

So, even though Faina was the only thing keeping their fox trot from being a total trainwreck last night, she gets the boot but Cedric gets to stay simply because he's "unique?" And now Cedric, who will now be paired with Shauna, is going to possibly ruin her chances? Like I said about Jessi and Pasha being in the bottom three, this is BULLSHIT. I don't even like Jimmy all that much and I don't dislike Cedric but Jimmy got shafted tonight, and Faina definitely did as well. Anyway, Jimmy cries a little as he talks to Cat, then she plays his video journey, and it's all very upsetting and heartbreaking. Stupid show. See y'all next week!