So You Think You Can Dance – Episode 315 – 2 of 12 Voted Off Live

Oh, crap. I was so busy working on the recap of last night's show that I forgot to vote. *headdesk* It's all my fault! Whatever happens! It's all my fault!

Cat Fashion Watch: Tonight, our dear Cat's going strapless, with what looks like scarves that have run in the rain criss-crossing her chest and trailing into a full skirt. She's got her hair pulled back in a smooth ponytail, and she looks like she's about to go on a picnic in a meadow. Oh, and her earrings are about the size of her head.

Our Top Twelve swing to the rhythm of "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy" by Cami Thompson, choreographed by Jean-Marc Genereux. They all look great in khaki, navy & white. Aside from Lauren's unbearable mugging, it's a good routine, but it doesn't rattle my timbers like some other group dances have in the past. Last season, they seemed to gel as a group more; this season, it's the pairs that have felt more solid. It'll be interesting to see what happens next week, when those foundations are ripped away from them!

Cat gets down to business with surprisingly little froofra. Who will be in our bottom three this week!?!??! Who will end up on tour? Which two of these twelve wonderful dancers are going home?!?!?

The first two couples to come on stage for the news are Sabra & Dominic and Danny & Anya. Ooooh. Sabra & Dominic are swaying on the stage, so nervous neither one can be still. After reviewing last night's performances, Cat tells Sabra & Dominic they're SAFE! Yay! But that means that Danny & Anya are in the bottom three, which sucks after that gorgeous foxtrot last night. Mary's so upset she's almost crying. She says they're two of the best dancers they've ever had on the show, that they performed the best foxtrot they've seen, and, "If I have anything to say about it, they're not going down on my watch tonight." Um, Mary? You have a LOT to say about it, remember?

Next up are Jaimie & Hok and Sara & Pasha. My heart is pounding, y'all, though I have a pretty good idea how this particular pairing is going to play out. We get to see Jaimie's incredible leap in slow motion, which is awe-inspiring. I get to see the replay of Sara & Pasha's jazz number in high definition -- I hadn't realized how tight Pasha's pants were until I saw the routine again. Oh, my. After the review, Cat reveals that Sara & Pasha are…SAFE!!! Double YAY!!! But of course, that means Jaimie & Hok are in the bottom three. Nigel says Hok is quite unique as a dancer, bringing something totally different, but over the past couple of weeks, he's been really challenged. Jaimie points out her teacher, Denise Wall, who also teaches Travis. Nigel gives her a big shout-out, and says Jaimie is a beautiful dancer. By the way, Jaimie's wearing a sparkly metallic bikini top and a floaty white skirt, and my husband is about falling out of his chair with lust watching her. "She should wear that outfit for ALL the dances," he says. "I'd vote for her!"

Our final two couples are Lauren & Neil and Lacey & Kameron. Ooh, this should be good…Lacey has some weird green thing growing out of her head and she's wearing those damn athletic socks that seem all the rage this season, and Neil's dressed like Ellen DeGeneres. Who's it going to be in the bottom three???? It's…Lauren & Neil. That makes Lacey & Kameron safe, which suits me fine. WADE is upset that Lauren & Neil are in the bottom three. He wonders if the goggle thing was a problem. I wonder if the Incomprehensible!Mia thing was a problem. He's extremely surprised. "Put blood on that dance floor tonight," he says to them. Ooh, I think I'm a little turned on.

Hey! There's a surprise! Jason Samuel Smith, one of the world's foremost tap dancers, taps his way onto the stage and puts on one hell of a show. He does it a cappella, too, without any musical accompaniment, just him, his dancing shoes, and a set of risers for a prop. Wow. Maybe this is why we got right down to business? So we'd have time for a little tap? I'm all for that! You know, filling the show up with…dance and more dance?

Before we get to the solos, Nigel takes a minute to recognize Mia Michaels and WADE ROBSON, both of whom have been nominated for Emmys for their work on the show. I will restrain myself and not abuse this platform to rail against the injustice of FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS being shut out of all major categories. Well, I won't abuse it MUCH, anyway…they was robbed!!! ROBBED, you hear me? Harumph. *shakes it off* Way to go, Mia and WADE. Congratulations!

Now it's time for the solos. Anya's first up. She's wearing a nun's habit. Oh, no, of course she's not, but I had you for a minute there, didn't I? As usual, she's got on something see-through with sequins and tassels. She's dancing to "Proud Mary" with her leotard jammed half-way up her ass. It does make her legs look longer, I'll give her that. It's energetic, with a lot of leg-kicking and hair-tossing, but she's a partner dancer, and that's still all too clear. Cat loved it, but Cat loves everything, so… Next, Danny does his awesome thing, plain and simple in a t-shirt and black pants, with a little stripe of red undies showing. This is not a bad thing. He really is a gorgeous dancer, and he seems to have loosened up this week, smiling bigger and opening up more. Maybe he looked back at previous broadcasts and realized he was coming off as kind of cool and a little contemptuous? I don't know, but he's about a million times more appealing now than he was a month ago – his talent has stayed the same; it's his attitude that's changed. After Danny, it's Jaimie's turn. She reminds me a lot of my favorite dancer from last season, Allison. She has that great sense of self when she dances, all beautiful lines and confidence. I really hope she stays. 

When it's Hok's turn, he bounces around the stage like it's got a rubber floor. Holy cow. It's like he's got elastic stretched through his body.  He does what he does so well. Damn it, I wish none of them had to leave! Last up are Lauren and Neil. Lauren wears a pink bustier and two scarves very well; she could go straight from here to her Maxim photo shoot. She's hotter that hot, but was she greater than great? Was she better than Jaimie? I don't know…From the minute Neil starts, I know he's not going anywhere. Wait, is he wearing clam diggers? He really is channeling his inner Ellen. I agree with WADE that Neil's really stepping up when it counts. Good job, Neil!

The judges go to the back room for a quick threesome and a smoke while Enrique Iglesias performs and I head to the fridge for a bowl of strawberries and some Cool Whip. My husband will probably kill me for telling you this, but he had, at one time, something of a mancrush on Enrique. I told him earlier, "Enrique Iglesias is singing on the results show. You remember him?" and he said, "Who, my boyfriend?" Hee. Enrique gets the crowed doing that swaying arm thing, and it's a nice song, kind of slow and Maroon-5ish. Did Enrique get his mole removed? Or was he just particularly well-lit?

It's the moment of truth: Girls first. After telling the girls they're not unanimous, Nigel calls Jaimie forward. He tells her that solo was a little desperate, but she's safe. Whew! Now it's down to Lauren and Anya. Nigel feels Lauren isn't reaching her potential, and Anya's had a hard time with solo work, but in the end Lauren's staying and Anya's leaving. WOW. It's not a shock or anything, but the competition is sooo tough this season, and at the end of the day, it's a solo contest, and she's just not a solo dancer. Now it's the boys' turn. The judges were unanimous this go-round. Nigel focuses on Hok right from the beginning, and tells him it's the end of his journey on the show. He also basically says that they still have Dominic and Sara to represent the "B" genre, which sucks so loud I'm still hearing the squelching sound. Both dancers get a well-deserved standing ovation.

*sigh*

Meet your Top Ten, America:

Lacey, Kameron, Neil, Lauren, Sara, Pasha, Sabra, Dominic, Danny & Jaimie.

Annie will be back on the recapping job next week! And I'll be back on the phones, voting!