Hey Paula: Episode Five

Another week, another trip, another interview, another chance for Paula to have a meltdown.  

It’s 2 a.m. and Paula’s QVC appearance has just ended.  Due to a snowstorm, Paula’s flight to New York has been cancelled.  Grounded for the night in Philly, Paula’s a little slap happy and tries to pull a prank on her assistant.  Slipping beef jerk (which could easily pass for a little pile of poo) into her bed, Paula goes into a laughing fit, rolling around on the floor.  Her assistants oblige her with some giggles, and Paula muses that it was good for her to release some endorphins.  Telling everyone she loves them, Paula heads off to bed.  But you know someone’s always trying to knock our girl down, and she makes the mistake of checking her email one last time for the day.

As Paula reads a message from someone involved with the upcoming Bratz movie, she instantly breaks down in tears.  Having been asked to executive produce, choreograph and design costumes and dolls for the movie, Paula feels it’s a project she’s put major effort into.  Sobbing, she tells the camera her assistance is no longer needed on the film.  Her emotions escalade as she goes on a tirade about how often she gets screwed over and how hard she works (modest she isn’t!).  Some noise is heard from the assistants’ bedroom and Paula snaps at them to be quiet.

Paula wakes up in a better mood and tries to make nice with her assistants.  They hit up a gift shop for some retail therapy, and after spending the entire day couped up in Philly, the gang can finally head out for Paula’s Letterman appearance.

Packed in a limo and en route to Letterman, it’s suddenly urgent for Paula to get Daniel (hair and makeup stylist) and Billy (public speaking coach) from LA to New York.  Frantic that they won’t make it, Paula cries and yells at her assistants.  The best part is that at first she’s desperate to have them both with her in NYC... then it’s just Daniel... and then it’s just Billy.  Nevertheless, they both end up catching flights to NYC and Paula’s happy for the time being.

New assistant Patty is beginning to think she isn’t cut out for the job.  She’s worked like a maniac the past few days and admits she doesn’t know what will happen once they return to LA.  Maybe if Paula told Patty to her face that she gives her an “A+” for the trip instead of telling the cameras, Patty wouldn't be thinking about quitting. 

Paula’s all set for Letterman.  She happily claims to be prepared for the interview, but (I can’t believe I’m typing this again) she crumbles in the limo just prior to arriving at the Late Show studio.  She launches into a good old Paula pity party, whining to Billy about when the drugs/alcohol accusations will end.  She serves up her usual griping, claiming to be tired, stressed, nervous, fatigued and hungry.

Bravo cameras aren’t permitted inside Letterman, but Paula’s mood switches back to happy as she exits the show.  She said the taping couldn’t have been crazier or gone better.  Meeting some of her fans after the show also lifts Paula’s spirits.  One fan, Megan, declares that meeting Paula is the best thing that’s ever happened to her.  Crying and shaking, she hands Paula a box of milk bones for her dogs.  Reflecting on her fans, Paula says, “This is the stuff that puts things into perspective, the reason why I work so hard.  It’s a love fest and I love it!”  

Next week: Back in LA and taping American Idol.  Paula learns she has a medical problem that will “change her life.”