Rock of Love - "Tour Bus Challenge"

It's the day after the elimination of "Starf-er" Erin and Big John arrives to wake up the remaining ladies. At 6 am. Ouch. Bret says these gals have to step up their game. He's also curious to see if Mia and Man-dalena are ever going to let their guards down and let him see who they really are (I don't know if you really want that much info, Bret!) The gals are off on another wacky challenge. It's the Tour Bus Challenge. The gals are going to see if they can hang with Bret on the road. Each "city" (a different area of some parking lot) has a challenge. First up, "New York City" - Big Joh picks the first competitior - who then picks who she wants to go up against. First up is Jes. She goes up against Man-dalena. They have to jam a suitcase full of clothes and get it back to the bus first. Jes seems to be winning, then she gets a sweater stuck in her zipper. Win to Mandalena.

Next is "Philly". Man-dalena is called out again. This time she picks Sam as her opponent. The challenge here is to change clothes in a port-a-pottie. Ewww. The clothes they have to change into are "whore clothes" (probably out of Heather's closet, I'm guessing.) Man-dalena comes out first, but she didn't fully tie her shoes, which gives Sam enough time to beat her. (Gee, I didn't know whores wore espadrilles. Go figure.)

Detroit is next and Lacey is chosen. Lacey picks Sam, figuring she's worn out from the last challenge. The gals have to find Bret's favorite guitar pick in a dumpster. I'd make an obvious joke about these girls and dumpsters, but it's just too easy. Sam wins and leaves Lacey in the dust. You go, Sam! It's Nashville and Heather's challenge. She picks the "weak" Mia as her opponent. They have to set up a guitar and amp. Pretty easy, huh? Both of them failed to notice that the power cords weren't plugged in. Big John finally helped them out (because it is only an hour show) and Mia won. 2 skanks down! The last challenge is in Seattle. It's Brandi versus Mia. It's a "Soul Train Scramble Board" with the mixed-up lyrics to "Ev'ry Rose has It's Thorn." Brandi pulled out the victory.

It's time for the finals - Brandi versus Sam. They have to hurdle velvet ropes and push through security (aka tackling dummies) to get to the prize. Sam's worried her attire may hinder her. It was a close race, until they got to the tackling dummies - Brandi kicked Sam's ass. Bret was happy that Brandi won, as he wanted to get to know her better. Meanwhile, Lacey's worried that she hasn't had as much alone time as some of the other gals, so she decides to make Sam her next target. She gets Heather to help out - they're going to use her insecurity and jealousy issues against her.

It's Bret's birthday, so he and the ladies are going to have a litle party. I'm scared already. In preparation, they make signs and blow up balloons - of course hufinh helium and laughing at their chipmunk voices (Man-dalena's voice reaches a level of "almost feminine".) Bret shows up and the party ensues. Poison hits, pole dancing and drinking - Sam even took to the pole, which caught Bret's attention and put Lacey in battle mode.

Lacey and Heather started operation Sam meltdown by hanging all over Bret, which sent Sam storming off. The next morning, Sam's a bit cranky and Lacey takes it upon herself to tell Bret - who decides to go talk to Sam. Bret thinks Sam has some mistrust issues - sure enough, she was in an abusive relationship. Sigh. Bret sends a note to the gals. Brandi and Bret are going to have a VIP experience at a Ducks hockey game, and the rest of the gals have to languish in the skankery. Bret is glad to get to know his "wild thing" better. He doesn't really seem that into her. Meanwhile, Lacey finds a note from Bret - the gals have to work together to formulate a list with the biggest reason why each of them should go home. Awk-ward.

Lacey's loving this challenge. She has nothing nice to say about everybody as well. Sam's insecure, Brandi is a groupie, Heather's not real. The gals had a hard time saying anything bad about Jes though (cause she rules!) The list is finally done, with much less bickering and yelling than I expected (and hoped for) and the list is slid under Bret's door.

Meanwhile, back at the date, it looks like Bret's warmed up to his li'l wild child. They were kissing, joking and even made an appearance on the Jumbo-tron. He said it was one of the best dates he's ever had. Sure, Bret. He heads into his room to get ready for the elimination and he admits he's nervous to cut one of "The Magnificent Seven." Brandi asks about what was written about her in Bret's letter. Jes and the gals said it was her "Body sounds" and Lacey said dofferent. Brandi seems to believe Jes and the good girls. Jes says Lacey sucks at life, and she's right. Bret decides he needs to have a little chat with some of the gals before he makes his final decision. He confronts Man-dalena, who he feels is cold. She says she needs to express her fire in a more private setting. Bret encounters a crying Sam.  She tells Bret she's too sensitive to be here, but she doesn't want to go home (make up your mind, girlfriend!) Bret still thinks he's got a really tough decision. Bret read through the letter and wondered about their comments about Lacey. Finally!

It's time for someone to hit the road. Brandi gets the first pass. Heather and her crunchy hair also will continue to rock Bret's world, as will Jes (yay). He sends Mia on, even though he still doesn't know her too well (he says that every week!) And, yes, crazy Lacey is staying to wreak havoc for another week. It's down to cold Man-dalena and sad Sam. Bret calls Man-dalena up...and cuts her. So, Lacey was unsuccessful in her efforts to oust her, so good on ya, Sam. Now it's "The Sexy Six". Next time, they're going to make their own album covers and it looks like there's going to be a lot of Lacey bashing! Can't wait!