The 4400 - "One of Us" (The Illogical Count)

The quality of this show has decreased and my dislike of it has increased to such a degree that I am instituting a numbering system. Every time some piece of nonsense dialogue is spoken or a completely illogical or inaccurate detail appears on screen, I'm going to assign it a number. We'll see how high we get with each episode. We begin the episode presumably in the past in the future. And oddly enough, that isn't even getting a point. We're in the future of the timeline and in the past of the show's events.  Item (#1) – In the past/future, Richard would have his mid-century hair, right? I would even give the show the benefit of the doubt on his mini-series look, instead he has his 2007 bald head and beard. Huh? Did the future then shave him and give him hair before returning him in a ball of light? This point goes to the hair and makeup department, lest you think that only the writers were to blame for this show.

The “good” Future People are checking to make sure he's under. Under? Does that mean the 4400 actually did things in the Future and weren't just catatonic while they were there? The “bad” Future People come in, including Tom Baldwin. They kill the “good” Future doctor and Tom promises to make Richard Tyler a father. The audience goes “huh?” and then Tom wakes up in the present. NewBoss checks up on him since he's wandering in the middle of the night – they went from fooling around to co-habitating in record time. I decided not to give that one a number. Tom's disturbed by his dream and when he turns to the mirror, he sees Evil Future Tom Baldwin staring back. Marked? I'd say so.

Elsewhere, Richard is enjoying the father-daughter time that he never got to have. They return home to find... Lilly. She's in the kitchen like nothing ever happened. Like she never prematurely aged and died. Even so - (#2) Her statements are ridiculous. If your husband (from your perspective) suddenly asks “Who are you?” you would never respond “I'm (name here). Your wife? Who else would I be?” Even if you're a villain posing as someone else, you don't make those statements. Terrible dialogue.

Cue obsolete opening credits.

Lilly and Richard continue to argue about whether or not she died. She has no memory of what's happened, but it doesn't seem to bother her in the least. Richard tells her that she's not real and her illogical response is (#3) “I feel real. I remember stuff. I can pick stuff up.” If someone proclaims to you that you're not real, is your first response to prove that you are corporeal? Wouldn't you more likely express disbelief or confusion at their statements? Richard's sad and lonely, so he accepts that none of this makes sense, even for The 4400. Hell, he went to the future, came back, married his girlfriend's granddaughter, had a baby who aged quickly, had a wife who aged quickly, the daughter de-aged and now his wife is back. Her proclaiming she can “touch stuff” seems like the most normal thing in his life.

At the Center, Kevin tells Shawn about a breakthrough in his research. He's discovered that left-handed people survive the Promicin shot 90% of the time. This is due to the fact that these people have a thicker bridge between the halves of their brain. With time, he'll be able to measure this bridge in a CAT scan and accurately predict if people will survive the shot or not. Shawn is thrilled and sets off to find Jordan to get him to make a statement to the public regarding these findings and to convince people to hold off on taking the shot.

At NTAC, Tom steps off an elevator only to find himself in The Future. Lying on slabs are Richard and Lilly (I won't give another number for Lilly's hair). Diana walks up but it turns out that he's not in the future but rather in front of a green screen. Diana has news about the NewNewBoss that's come to visit-- and it's Sherry Palmer. Great, that's what this show needed. Spruce it up? How about the worst part of four seasons of 24 comes for a visit. Sherry Palmer's not happy. She takes the team to task for not taking down superhuman Richard Tyler last week. Tom starts to have a Manchurian Candidate experience... and I mean stylistically ripped from the film. Tom gets freaked out and jumps up and leaves. Tom worries that he's becoming the Marked. Diana tries to talk him down and suggests he go find a private physician and get checked out. Alright, (#4) friends or not, what kind of advice is this to give your partner who may have been possessed by agents from the future? It's irresponsible for a government agent and realistically, what is a standard doctor going to find or be able to do for him?

Richard and Lilly continue to talk about what's transpired, but Richard refuses to tell her about Isabelle. Richard still doesn't believe that she's real, so Lilly suggests going to sleep and if she's still there when they wake up, she must be real. (#5) Best course of action, ever. Dissolve to them waking up (that was pointless), so she must be real, right? She looks at some photos that are right on the bedstand (#6) including one of Isabelle. Richard lies about her and says she's a friend. Lilly doesn't wonder if she's someone that Richard was interested in (#7). Lilly then immediately falls asleep again (#8).

Tom arrives home talking on the cell phone saying that every test the doctor ran said he was in perfect health (#9), but what else would they say? The back door is open and Tom discovers that Sherry Palmer has come for a visit. Her team is searching the house (#10 – considering the following conversation). Sherry says that she's concerned about the outburst Tom had in the previous scene (#11 – he didn't have one, he stood up suddenly and then left). She questions Tom about his state of mind, but quickly shifts from seeming that she's trying to trap Tom in a lie to seeming like she's a remember of the Marked herself. Tom asks her outright if she has a mole, but she responds (#12) “Once you turn forty, your skin changes all the time”-- if you have cancer! She continues to beat around the bush, but Tom is convinced of Sherry Palmer's Marked status. He takes it to the team, but NewBoss isn't convinced. Still, she puts other agents on the Tyler case and tells Tom to take a sick day.

In Promise City, Shawn finally catches up with Jordan Collier, but Collier refuses to make any statements about the brain bridge research. He's worried that it will create a world of two classes and one class will inevitably wipe out the other. He prefers that everyone in the world take the shot, and (#13) all the normals get wiped out that way.

Richard and Lilly continue to be a family with Isabelle. Lilly tells Richard that he's been a great father and he feels guilty. Turns out that Kyle is utilizing an “original recipe” 4400's skill to make Richard see his dead wife. They can't tell him anything because everything that they talk about comes from Richard. Kyle encourages the kid to keep going. VisionGirl appears to keep pushing Kyle to do what she says. He's starting to hate his ability.

Flashback/forward to the future where Evil Future Tom Baldwin is impregnating Lilly with Richard's child. (#14 – and this is an old one) How did Richard ever know that Lilly was pregnant with his child? I mean, when it popped out with mixed skin, the chances were good... but before that? They never met. So Isabelle was definitely implanted by the Evil Future, and she's been again Jordan from the beginning, so that means he's on the side of good. But VisionGirl is obsessed with bringing Isabelle into Jordan's fold, so that means that she's evil. So Jordan as Messiah is... good? Promicin is... good? Innocents dying by the thousands is... good?

Again, it's Tom dreaming. He tries to wake NewBoss (#15) by calling her honey (they've been sleeping together for a few weeks? Tops?). She turns over and it's Sherry Palmer. He awakes again, only this time he's not Tom, but whatever Matthew Ross was when he wasn't Matthew Ross any more. NewBoss is concerned, but Evil Tom tells her that he feels great.

Sherry Palmer and Evil Tom discuss how much the 21^st century sucks and how the things they do are pointless. (#16) Yet Sherry Palmer still goes to Starbucks. She tells him he has to do what Tom does and that it's their fault if they can't harness their hosts, like he couldn't with Matthew Ross.

Lilly plays with Isabelle (#17) saying “cow, cow, cow” while poking her with a stuffed snake. Way to confuse a two year old. Richard wants to come clean and Lilly is wearing a ridiculous amount of bling for an imaginary woman on the run staying at home and playing with her child. Where does Richard think all these changes of clothing are coming from? Bruce Willis never changed clothes in The Sixth Sense and no one noticed. (#18) She changes clothes seemingly every few hours, and it's distracting. The wardrobe department is responsible for that tick mark. Richard tells Lilly the truth over a dissolve. Lilly takes it relatively well. She takes the opposite stance of Richard on the shrinking Isabelle situation, but loses the thread with (#19) “You took away everything she was; everything she could have been.” She'll grow up again. The potential isn't lost, if anything, it's only delayed. Richard feels bad and Lilly starts to go all Marty McFly when Isabelle's ball goes right through her hands. I guess she's right, corporeal does equal “real”. And she states as much when she (#20) expresses no surprise whatsoever that she can no longer touch things. Richard thinks that his telekinesis has been making her be able to touch things. So his ability reinforced the other 4400's ability? In some kind of twisted logic, Richard hugs Lilly until she vanishes.

At NTAC, Diana and NewBoss freak out because Agent Stargate tells them that Tom's gone nuts on Marco. We find Tom hypnotizing Marco, but it's all a big prank. I bet in the the CIA, they all pretend they are spies to break the tension. Evil Tom convinces them that he's feeling good and should be back on the job. He also waves them off Sherry Palmer as well. NewBoss enjoys what she's getting at home so she can't say no.

In a strange empty concert hall, Shawn films an interview telling the people of the world to wait for the brain bridge research to be complete and they won't have to risk their lives.

Elsewhere, Richard takes Isabelle to see the woman that made the de-aging water to help Isabelle. She's angry at Richard for lying to her, but she agrees to try to undo the process. I guess she makes aging water as well. (#21) What kind of ability is that?

VisionGirl continues to mess with Kyle and tells him to tip off his father on Isabelle's whereabouts. So his visions are evil. Meaning what for Jordan Collier and his movement? Meaning what? That the Evil Future can affect Promicin abilities? That Kyle really didn't get an ability and they're taking advantage of that? So the Evil Future wants Promicin abilities out there meaning that the “extra crispies” are all wrong and we should only be pulling for the “original recipe”? This deserves much more that one illogical point for these shenanigans, but I'll hold it to just one (#22) because things are still playing out, albeit it a complete illogical fashion.

At the Fountain of Youth's house, Isabelle comes out of the backroom all growed up. What did she do, force feed her aging water (#23)? It took time last time around. At NTAC, Diana catches Evil Tom heading out. He levels that he's following a tip on Richard Tyler and Diana invites herself along. When they get there, Evil Tom sends Diana around front while he sneaks in the back. Fountain of Youth warns Isabelle and Richard. Richard tells Isabelle to hide in the basement and to run out the back if she hears a struggle. Diana invites herself in and questions Fountain of Youth. She has the wrong answers and the jig is up when Diana finds the picture Richard had of Isabelle and himself. Diana warns Fountain not to speak and starts searching the house. Isabelle starts to escape out the back without hearing a struggle (#24) and I blame editorial for this one. It seems as if the two scenes were reversed. After Tom confronts Isabelle, we cut back upstairs to Diana finding Richard. He throws a chair at her telekinesis style, causing her to shoot. A few moments pass and Evil Tom shows up and darts the hell out of Richard and the Fountain of Youth. He feeds Diana a story about Isabelle getting away.

At NTAC, Diana and Tom get a round of applause for bringing in Richard. Sherry Palmer gives an inspirational speech to which Diana says “Exactly what she would say if she were Marked. And exactly what she would say if she wasn't Marked” What? (#25) Evil Tom chuckles to himself because 21^st Century humans are dumb. Diana states that they got lucky today (#26), but they didn't get lucky, they had a tip as she states a second later. Richard gets locked up in some high security facility and Kyle is furious with the VisionGirl in his head. She tells him that he doesn't get to call the shots. She does. She tells him that he's going to have to do something about his cousin. Kyle doesn't get it, but the Future already made him assassinate one person, what's new in this situation? That they want him to decide to do it of his own free will? At Tom's house, Isabelle wakes up to find Evil Tom watching over her. He tells her that he can get Richard out of prison, but first she's going to have to get her abilities back and bring Jordan Collier to him. (#27) VisionGirl is already in Kyle's head on the inside, why does the Future just have her get Kyle to bring Jordan Collier to Evil Tom? Why do you need Isabelle at all? Her part in the movement is to crush the movement? Then why did VisionGirl even help start the movement? How long until Isabelle realizes that she's face to face with “Matthew Ross” and brutally kills him again?

I came up with 27 counts of illogicalness and crappy writing. Tsk tsk. In a forty some odd minute episode, that's almost one every minute and a half. Where do I draw the line? Leave your thoughts below.

NEXT WEEK: NewBoss makes a sleeping with the enemy pun.