Doctor Who: Blink (Episode 310/3010)

The angels have the phone box. Before I go into the true meaning of that statement, I’d like to offer up my own version. I’m hoping it’ll make it up on Café Press sometime shortly, as t-shirts with that slogan have been selling as early as 23 minutes after this episode first aired and I could use the extra cash.

Welcome to this season’s “Doctor Lite” episode. Unlike last year’s where we had to watch Moaning Myrtle be in a band, this one is a superb follow up to the “Human Nature” and “Family of Blood” (as opposed to the one most often skipped on my season 2 DVDs). While we have moments of terror, this episode also brings back the funny, which was severely lacking over the last few weeks. By the way, this episode also caused Fruit of the Loom to gain 20 points in the stock market since everyone needed new underpants afterwards.

Like Moaning Myrtle, we do have another alliterative character, Sally Sparrow. She’s as adorable as her name sounds and my write in vote for the Doctor’s next companion.

She’s an amateur photographer that’s broken into an old run-down house, Wester Drumlins, to do some exploring. What she finds, besides rotting windows, doors and tacky old wallpaper, is a message written on the wall. What makes this different from regular graffiti, is that the message warns Sally about the Weeping Angels and to duck. It was written in 1969 by the Doctor. The problem? This episode takes place in 2007.

Sally takes the message’s advice and ducks moments before a rock flies through the window. The only thing visible outside is a statue of a weeping angel, like one you would see guarding a mausoleum. By the way, if you ever though those statues were creepy, this episode won’t help you.

After the credits, Sally is at her friend Kathy’s flat. Playing in the background is a DVD of the Doctor, talking about not blinking. Various images of the Doctor are on seven different screens in Kathy’s living room. Yes, I counted because I am that sad dedicated.

The aforementioned Kathy is awakened from a deep slumber by Sally calling from the kitchen. Talk about a waste of airtime on a cell phone! Kathy is less than pleased, and less than awake, until Sally asks about all the screens with the Doctor on them. Unfortunately, it’s not in time to warn Sally that Kathy’s brother is there. Her brother, Larry, suffers from Dispantia.

Kathy comes rushing downstairs, cursing her brother but one look at Sally, and she knows all is not right in the land. So, of course, like any good horror flick, the only solution is to have two women go investigate the strange goings on at Wester Drumlins. Since Sally is our ingénue, and Kathy is the quirky, snarky friend, I think convention has taught us which one will not be coming back out of the house. If your not sure what conventions I’m talking about, watch Scream.

On the way into the house, we learn Kathy’s last name is Nightingale. Sparrow and Nightingale, groan. We get a little bit of character development, as Sally’s original reason for coming to the house was because she loves old things as they make her sad. When I see it on the screen, besides reading like an extended oxymoron, it’s not half as cool as it sounds when she says it.

Kathy and Sally examine the message and the angel in the yard. Sally swears it moved but they get distracted when the doorbell rings. Afraid it’s a burglar, Kathy creeps out of sight. Has this woman never seen a horror film in her life?

At the door is a very Norman Bates-looking gentleman who has come to deliver a letter to Sally. The letter looks old, and while both Sally and the gentleman fumble about in shock that not only is Sally there, but also the letter meant for her was clearly written years earlier, Kathy hears a strange noise. Looking out into the garden, all she sees are the statues. As Kathy turns her back, all we see are that the statues are now watching and stalking her.

Once confirming Sally’s identity, the gentleman gives her the letter. He tells her it’s from “Katherine Wainright,” his grandmother whose maiden name was Nightingale. Thinking this is all some form of sick joke, Sally goes looking for her friend, only to find that she’s disappeared. To make it worse, the gentleman then claims to be Kathy’s grandson.

We see Kathy land in a field where she finds out from a very amused farmer, that she’s now in Hull, in 1920. Panicked, she marches off, in no direction in particular, followed by the amused farmer.

Shocked that the woman writing the letter claims to be her friend Kathy, Sally rushes about the house trying to find her. Instead, all she finds is the angels, now on the second floor of the house. One of which is holding a TARDIS key. She pulls it from the angel’s hand, and runs back downstairs, after Kathy’s grandson.

What she doesn’t see, is that the angel previously holding the key, is now reaching for her and they watch as she runs from the house. These things are the creepiest things ever. It wouldn’t be as scary if we saw them move, because then we could anticipate what they were going to do next, but no, we’re stuck seeing only the effect, never the action. The effect itself is terrifying.

Sally finally reads the letter. Stuck in 1920, Kathy married the farmer who chased her around Hull, Benjamin Wainwright (after lying to him that she was only 18). She had three children, naming the youngest after Sally. After visiting Kathy’s grave, we see the angels are now stalking Sally.

At Kathy’s request, Sally goes to visit Lawrence (the sufferer of Dispantia) to say her goodbyes. Conveniently, he works in a DVD store that clearly doesn’t get a lot of business as the owner (who is sitting around watching an old cops and robbers film) is letting him play with some DVDs in the back. Again, it’s the DVD with the Doctor and Martha, like he was playing at his sister’s.

It takes him a minute to remember where he’s seen Sally before, as one of the symptoms of Dispantia is to repress all humiliating memories regarding the ailment. (All memories of when it is particularly cold, scientists have found, are permanently erased. Most other memories can be retrieved with treatment.)

Sally fumbles through a completely unbelievable explanation that Kathy had to “go away for a bit” for work and that Kathy loves him. Poor Lawrence thinks that either he or his sister is terminally ill. It’s a reasonable conclusion because really, how often do siblings send messages that involve phrases like “I love you” unless death is imminent?

The conversation isn’t helped as the DVD pause button keeps slipping so the Doctor frequently interjects. Lawrence explains that the Doctor is an Easter Egg that appears on 17 totally unrelated DVDs. It’s spawned a sort of internet cult, as what the Doctor is saying doesn’t make any sense because it’s only half a conversation. The Doctor already has a real life internet cult and a fictional internet cult as the Ninth Doctor. Now he has two fictional internet cults? This is making my head hurt. So let me get this straight. This episode is trying to scare me off all life-like garden ornamentation and terrify me into thinking there’s some important message hidden on my DVDs, that could probably save my life, but I’ve yet to find it? Oh crap.

As Lawrence is called away, Sally watches the Doctor’s description of time “a big ball of wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff.” I’m sure those are all very technical terms there, Doctor. I’m sure it’s what helped you pass jiggery-pokery. Sally also laughs at the Doctor’s mangling of the language, but is creeped out when the DVD appears to answer her. In response, she yells at the television and pauses the Doctor.

Lawrence proves himself much more useful than just unexpected naked comic relief, by giving Sally the list of 17 DVDs all containing the timey-wimey Doctor. On the way out of the video shop, Sally hears the owner yelling at his screen, and asking why no one in the movies (or, in this case, television) goes to the cops. Thus, Sally now has a new, and meta, plan.

As if Sally’s day couldn’t get any worse, after traveling to the police station in a rainstorm, the officer at the front desk clearly thinks she’s suffering from her own mental illness (not Dispantia). She’s distracted by the very suspicious-looking angels on the church across the road, and in the moment which probably confirms to herself that she’s lost it, she blinks. Upon opening her eyes, the angels have disappeared. It’s all very Alfred Hitchcock, complete with extreme close-up on Sally and the fear of everyday items like showers and lawn ornaments.

For Sally, she thinks she needs medication. The rest of all need a change of drawers because the angels are now outside the police station’s window.

DI Billy Shipton enters, at first trying to get away from Sally by making up some engagement he needs to get to. Upon seeing her, he becomes as enamored with her as the rest of the fandom and is more than willing to explain the mysterious case of Wester Drumlins.

In a storage space underneath the station, the police are holding a number of vehicles, all found abandoned at Wester Drumlins over the last two years.

Included in the collection is the TARDIS which is looking sadly neglected. Billy even insults the TARDIS for not being a real police public call box, pointing out all the differences the fandom’s already realized. Again, I’m sure Billy is just our voice in this episode, our really, really good-looking voice.

Next, Billy asks Sally a question I’m surprised absolutely every male whose ever met her hasn’t asked – if she’d have a drink with him. “Life is short and you are hot,” he flirts. Embarrassed, not realizing she’s totally adorable, even in her current drowned-rat state, Sally doesn’t make any promises but does give him her phone number. What’s even more adorable? She tells him her name is Sally Shipton.

Billy laughs, promising to phone his “gorgeous girl” as soon as possible. She rushes out of the storage area, adorably humiliated. Although, I think to tag the word “adorable” on to Sally is a bit redundant, isn’t it? Sally Sparrow is definitely the first human candidate for Cute Overload.

Remember I said at the beginning we get the funny interspersed with moments of terror? Yeah, well, this is one of them. A Billy turns around, he sees the Weeping Angels trying to force their way into the TARDIS. As Billy examines the angels, he blinks.

And in something more infinitely terrifying than witnessing what happens, we don’t witness what happens as we cut to Sally outside. She remembers the TARDIS key and rushes in to give it to Billy, only to find he’s disappeared.

We cut back to Billy being slammed up against a brick wall. He probably thinks he hit his head too hard as the Doctor and Martha approach him, saying he’s been transported back to 1969. He’s as thrilled about it as Martha, a phrase which here means he isn’t at all.

We finally get some exposition on the garden ornaments from hell. The Weeping Angels are a race that lives off potential energy. They send people back in time because then they can live off the potential energy of the rest of their lives during their own time. Unfortunately, they sent Martha and the Doctor back as well, without the TARDIS. So the Doctor had to build his own “timey-wimey” device to find other people stuck in the same predicament. It’s a handy device but not only does it find time disturbances, but also can “boil an egg at thirty paces” and cause chickens to explode.

The Doctor asks Billy to take Sally a message. It’s a message that will take a long time to deliver.

Back in the present, Sally receives a phone call from Billy. She’s thinking he’s called awfully quickly. We all know he’s called 38 years later than he wanted to.

DI Billy Shipton, now an elderly gentleman, is lying alone in a hospital ward. Sally has glimpse into what could’ve been her future while Billy gets a look into his past all during the same rain from when they met. He tells her of his life. He married another woman named Sally and waited until today to find our Sally, no matter how much he was tempted. He passes on the message the Doctor gave him so many years before, “look at the list.”

He’s referring to the list of DVDs Lawrence had given her. Instead of staying with the force, Billy went into publishing, specifically, publishing DVDs. He’s responsible for the Easter Egg. The 17 DVDs all have something in common and although Sally doesn’t know it yet, and the Doctor never said what it was, Billy can never know. He will only live until the rain stops.

He’s not bitter. He’s not bitter about his potential life with Sally and even managed to stay cheerful as he could look forward to seeing her again. “Life is long and you are hot.” Realizing his own mortality, he says “Look at my hands; they’re old man’s hands. How did that happen?”

Sally promises to stay with him. Later, after Billy’s passed, I realize that my earlier comparison of Billy to the fandom is even more apropos than I first thought. To extend the analogy, here is Sally Sparrow, still young and fresh after four decades. For the elder Billy, seeing Sally again must’ve been like how the old school fandom felt in 2005. They got older, but the Doctor got younger, and was still, as Tim said, wonderful. No matter how much the fandom changes, the Doctor is a constant.

Later, Sally stands alone as Billy’s bed’s been stripped after his death. As for me, it’s the third week in a row Doctor Who has made me cry, which gives this show the all time record of any show making me cry.

With determination, Sally comes to an important realization; the 17 DVDs are the ones she owns. When she shares this with Lawrence, he asks the question we’re all thinking. Who in this day and age only owns 17 DVDs?

Her determination is caused by more than just the realization. She has a plan. Her plan is to go, with Lawrence, to Wester Drumlins to watch the DVDs. Hey, I just said she had a plan. I never said it was a particularly clever or safe plan. Although, what would this show be without plans that are inherently dangerous?

While watching the Easter Egg, Lawrence gets what he always wanted, the other half to the conversation the Doctor has on film, which he dutifully records in shorthand. Poor Lawrence, after everything Sally’s been through, the fact she’s just as amazed that the Doctor appears to be answering her and that Lawrence knows shorthand tells you how little she thinks of him. You’d think having one half of a conversation 38 years before the other half would be slightly more impressive.

All the previous bits of the Easter Egg we’ve seen before are put in order. Much like <I><http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0209144/>, Memento, it finally makes sense. The Doctor, stuck in 1969, (much to Martha’s extreme annoyance) knows what Sally’s going to say because he, somehow, got a hold of Lawrence’s transcript (and put it on a teleprompter).

We also get the catchphrase of this series, “The angels have the phone box.” (By the way, Lawrence has that on a t-shirt. So do about a million other people by now.) The angels are stone statues only when one is still looking at them. When they’re not being watched, they can move about at will. In other words, they’ve either got the whole Medusa idea totally backwards, or they’re the shadows that live under kids’ beds, that can move about when not seen.

The technobabble term for the Weeping Angels is “quantum locked.” They look like they’re weeping as they can’t risk looking at each other. They want the TARDIS to feed off the energy for all eternity – which, to put it mildly, would be bad for all eternity. The Doctor needs Sally to send the TARDIS back to him but the problem is that the transcript ends, so he doesn’t know what happens next. All he can do is leave them with the advice “Don’t blink.” I’m thinking it’s one of those things that when someone tells you not to do it, you’re more likely to anyway.

The video ends and Sally panics. Trying to help, Lawrence offers to rewind it but all this does is take both their eyes off the Weeping Angel. They turn back to see something more terrifying than the gas mask zombies, the odd Ood and the events of “Doomsday.”

Lawrence is stuck watching the one Weeping Angel while Sally discovers they’re locked in. Rightfully, Lawrence is terrified as Sally explains about the TARDIS key and goes to investigate further. Even though, consciously, I know it’s wrong to give the Weeping Angels the TARDIS key, in Lawrence’s predicament, I’d probably want to give it to them too.

In hopes of finding a way out, Sally and Lawrence head into the cellar, only to discover the true meaning of “the Angels have the phone box.”

Even as a stone, the Angels can mess with electricity as the lone light bulb flickers. With each flicker, the Angels get closer and closer to our hapless heroes. Sally’s so panicked, she can’t get the TARDIS key in the lock properly. Lawrence looks like he’s about to die of fright, and I’m wondering if it’s possible to watch the rest of this episode with my hands over my ears and my eyes shut. It would certainly make recapping it interesting. Somewhere, all department stores stock up on extra tidy-whities.

The Angels’ approach is both terrifying and beautiful. It’s like watching a dance but only seeing the tableaus and if the dancers plan on killing you with their lovely arm extensions and toe shoes.

Eventually, Sally and Lawrence fumble into the TARDIS. Considering the danger they just faced outside, they stare in amazement at the wonder of the TARDIS. They also stare in wonder at the Doctor’s holographic image, which is telling them they have and “authorized control disk, valid one journey.”

Pulling a DVD out of his pocket, (and please note I’m nicely avoiding any dirty puns about glowing things in men’s pockets) they now have a new problem; the Angels are shaking the phone box.

After inserting the disk, Sally and Lawrence have yet another new dilemma. The TARDIS is disappearing but leaving them behind.

For those who don’t know the Doctor, like Sally and Lawrence, they cannot predict his master plan. Okay, I admit it, I’m avid viewer (and reading Doctor Who: The Inside Story right now) and even I didn’t see this one coming. It takes Lawrence to clue in both Sally and I. The Doctor tricked the Weeping Angels into looking at each other. They are now stuck in their final pose of their deathly dance for all eternity.

Flash forward to one year later to the old video shop, which is now being run by Sally and Lawrence. He catches her going through all the documentation of their encounter with the Weeping Angels and is saddened. He was hoping she’d let it all go and move onto other things, a phrase which here means, move onto him. Less than gentle in her let down, Sally assures him all they do is own a shop together. I’m rather disappointed in her as she’s obviously discriminating against him because he suffers from Dispantia. Really, she should be complimenting him, as he heads out of the shop for milk that he did, in fact, remember to put on trousers first.

As Lawrence exits, a cab pulls up and out steps the Doctor and Martha. They’re looking anxious and carrying a bow and arrows. Apparently, they’ve abandoned any concept of being inconspicuous (not that it’s worked well for them in the past) and decided to go with the full out crazy look. Ironically, they’ll probably be left alone more with the crazy look than the trying not to get noticed guise.

For once, the Doctor’s confused about what’s going on as Sally calls him, and then proceeds to mutter in amazement. While Martha’s going on about some migration and hatching, Sally realizes the truth, she’s the one to give the Doctor all the information he needed. I’m pretty sure there’s a paradox within a paradox within a timey-wimey ball here but thinking about it too hard might make my head hurt.

The Doctor has to rush off to stop “four things and a lizard” which I think would make a great name for a punk group. Back from the shop, Lawrence stands amazed, not at the Doctor, but that his wish has come true. Sally has moved on.

As Sally moves on to her new life and the Doctor moves onto the events Sally already knows about, we get a reminder in the form of flashes of various statuary, not to blink or we’re dead.

Following the Doctor’s advice, I didn’t sleep for most of the night. In order to prepare for the eventual invasion of the granite beings, I’ve prepared a little test for everyone. Watch my test, if you dare and follow the Doctor’s advice. Don’t blink.

*SQUEE!*

Note: Recapist apologizes, but Spy apparently squeed on the end of this recap at the realization Captain Jack Harkness is in the next episode. We’ll clean it up once we find some paper towels.