The Unit: Pandemonium Part 2 (Episode 302)

Before: Mariana’s dead, Hector rolled over, and Jonas, Grey, and Bob found a watery underground graveyard.

So, what does one do with corpses one finds at the bottom of the ocean floor? Apparently, one exhumes them. Yes, the boys are pulling up body bags, examining the remains, and trying to figure out who the dead men are. The men were killed with two shots to the base of the skull. Bob wonders who they are, and Jonas ponderously says that one man’s buried treasure is another man’s blackmail. I fear the man who thinks decomposing corpses are treasure (outside the Potterverse, that is). Jonas remembers that Mariana didn’t know what Reale could be holding over the CIA; Bob adds that it’s “deep cover” if you have to execute your own agents. If this were a JJ Abrams show, it wouldn’t be deep cover so much as a secret-possibly-fake government agency and, like, government-created killer nanorobot infection.

In a containment facility… somewhere… Mack’s been relieved of his shirt and his shroud so that his captors can take pictures of him. As one would, if one had Mack shirtless and bound against his will.

Elsewhere, Bob accosts Agent Kern (the man who recruited him to the CIA, I believe) in the men’s room of a posh restaurant right before the good agent is about to seat himself and do his business. Bob decides to help him along by pointing a gun at the base of the man’s skull. Bob asks if the bodies dumped in the ocean have anything to do with Jonas Blane. Kern says he sent Bob to find Jonas; Bob spits back that he was sent to “bird dog” Jonas so the CIA could have him “whacked.” Kern tells Bob they can’t be seen together as it’s too dangerous. He also says that trying to put The Unit back together is like the king’s men and Humpty Dumpty. He agrees to help Bob, though, since he’s sick of watching his back. Kern says he’ll find out who was dumped and why.

Jonas is tooling around DC in a taxi and just misses Molly and Tiffy, who are on their way to see Charlotte. Ryan has the same idea: he’s at Charlotte’s door asking for help in avoiding his court marshal. She says he can still negotiate with the subcommittee if has something to bring to the table. And what the subcommittee wants brought to the table are the men of The Unit, who are simply scapegoats. (I love the way Rebecca Pidgeon talks. Words like committee, you can hear every letter, her pronunciation is so clipped.) She says the subcommittee needs the appearance of a win, and Ryan can give them that. Ryan doesn’t know what they might need a scapegoat for. Molly and Tiffy arrive, and Molly is still adamant that Jonas can’t be dead. Charlotte says she’s working to get them answers soon. She also says that the Department of Defense won’t even acknowledge holding Mack, but she’ll keep trying.

Outside the hotel, Ryan flags the taxi that Jonas happens to be driving, and Grey forcibly helps him in. In an alley somewhere (not terribly covert), they want to know what Ryan can do for them. He tells them to go back into hiding until he can do his work. The boys think they’ve tried that, and now it’s time for them to act. Ryan drops the bomb that the subcommittee has an A-bomb in the form of Hector Williams.

So what else is a not-rogue unit trying to establish its legitimacy to do? Why, gassing the transport vehicle carrying Williams and capturing him before he can testify. As they take off, Williams demands, “What the hell took you guys so long?” HA! That is why This Unit is Awesome.

I miss getting’ fired up, fired up. Lame new credits.

The Almost-Fully-Reunited Unit are setting up temporary camp in a condo of some sorts, posing as the Gay Men’s Chorus. Sometimes, there is subtext, and sometimes, there’s just text. Hector greets Jonas warmly, and they do the backslappy hug thing of surrogate fathers and sons. He tells the boys that the testimony written for him confesses to execution of prisoners and all matter of badness, which he elaborates as Ryan joins the group. Ryan wants to get Mack out before he breaks, but Jonas insists Mack won’t even bend. A woman pens the door without knocking, and Ryan and Jonas immediately draw their weapons at her. Hector peeks around Jonas and smilingly tells her the man she’s looking for doesn’t live there, and this is a police operation. They decide to lock the door when she leaves. I used to think Hector was a creepy cannibal, but sometimes, he does something slightly amusing. Ryan says his pride’s returned, and anyone who opposes The Unit will bow before them all.

Mack, naked in his cell, faces down several guards and Doyle Ransom, the strangely-named confession-pusher from last week. He gives Mack a blanket and slaps down a confession for Mack, telling him to sign it already. Mack protests that there are codes and laws, ways you treat soldiers; he’s beat down for his speaking up and it gives him time to glance at the confession for a second or two. Which is all the time he needs to know it’s bogus and The Unit never did any of it. Ransom tells him to hurry up and sign. Mack takes the proffered pen to do so and lunges at Ransom with it, stabbing the man in the neck. Which would be more impressive if it worked, and if he weren’t wearing a bulky sheet around his waist.

Molly and Tiffy are back at the Estates of The Unit and immediately come to see the also-returned Kim. She hedges a little when they question her about how’s Bob, where’s Bob, why isn’t Bob in trouble. Kim has them follow her all of two feet from the house; she tells them she thinks her house is bugged. In a whisper, she says she saw Jonas. Kim is hesitant about who’s responsible for what’s happening to the men, but she does pass along Jonas’s message to Molly: “to lose thee were to lose myself.” Molly’s face softens and lifts at this, and she tells her friends it’s from Milton’s Paradise Lost.

Bob and Grey stake out a playground, where Bob scares off a mom and her kid by giving a creepy pedophile vibe. He feels around in the sandbox, where he finds a capsule with a piece of paper reading, “Liberian Veil, Providencia, Colombia.” And lo, Hector and Jonas are in Colombia (how do they get around so fast?) watching a small transport shipped named the Liberian Veil. It’s a food supply ship, but the guys can’t figure out where it might be going and why it’s so heavily guarded. Jonas spots a port office above with barred windows and yet more guards. He and Hector decide to drop in for tea.

In DC, Ryan’s laying it on thick for Charlotte: his men accosted him, they picked off Williams, they’re threatening him if he gives them over to the subcommittee, what happened to my beautiful Unit? Charlotte thinks they need to be stopped. Ryan asks what it’s worth; Charlotte says he can get his name cleared and an honorable discharge. Even if he’s reinstated, he’ll never advance. If he’s not in the Army, there are still people in DC who would pay good money for Ryan’s knowledge and background.

Kim’s feeding the baby when she gets a call from Bob’s handler, Vorhees. Who is standing right outside her kitchen window, unbeknownst to Kim. He wants to know what she talked about with Molly and Tiffy. Kim uneasily tells him she’s not spying on her friends. She asks if the CIA doesn’t have its own people for this sort of thing, and Vorhees creepily tells her, “You are our people.”

Hector—again, with the questionable Spanish—and Jonas steal a truck, which Hector cons through a security checkpoint. They bust into the port office, where Jonas, like, shoots a guy in the shoulder and tells him to put in for workman’s comp. Seriously? Was that necessary, dude? I know you’re working the McClane ‘do and ‘tude, but really? He has the guy he shot show him the route of the Liberty Veil, which goes to the exact spot where all the bodies are buried, every time. Rations are being sent out to the middle of the ocean because, according to Jonas, “some of them are still alive.”

Bob drives through a carwash, and just before the whole fascinating production starts, a woman jumps into his moving car. She tells him Kern is dead, but she’s a friend he can trust. Bob snorts, because he didn’t even trust Kern. The woman tells Bob that “rogues” in her agency are not happy that Jonas and the boys have found their “floating prison.” “A terrorist cruise to nowhere,” Bob observes. And now it makes at least a little sense. In the context of that show, a little bit of sense is, like, an encyclopedia full of fact. She tells Bob that if people were willing to kill Kern, he’s way over his head and should step off. Bob wants to know how high up it goes; his informant says it goes higher than anyone really knows. All the security and intelligence agencies farm out work to proprietary companies for banking, shipping, arms, and they all have their own agendas not even the President (a glorified valet for said proprietary companies) would want to know. There’s probably a lot the President wouldn’t want to know. The woman tells Bob to back off or be killed. She hands him a tree air freshener, saying if he needs to talk to her again, to hang it from the mirror. Well, that’s just silly. What if he eats Chinese food in the car?

Ransom continues telling Mack all the things The Unit didn’t do. Mack’s looking a little worked over, but he has seen worse. Mack refuses to comply. Ransom has him beat up some more.

Cut to: the Gerhardt home, Halloween. Jen’s dressed up and Lissy’s carving pumpkins while Tiffy rattles on about candy safety. It is a cruel trick of a cruel world that all candy cannot immediately be considered safe. Mack’s with them, and when Lissy asks him to make a face she’s copying for her jack-o’-lantern, a family pumpkin fight ensues.

But Mack’s still getting the crap kicked out of him while Ransom looks on, reading the list of crimes over again.

Bob is pissed to hear that Kim’s been talking to the CIA. She says she’s only trying to help. Bob hangs up, because he realizes he’s being followed.

In her hotel room, Charlotte’s getting dressed and telling Ryan about some man who has operations all over the world and a possible job for Ryan. Rebecca’s pushing hard for the honorable discharge and Ryan giving up Jonas and his guys. Ryan says it’s all taken care of.

Bob fails to be stealth as he parks his car and pulls into a condo or motel or something. He strips and heads to the shower, pulling the curtain closed behind him. Outside, a bunch of armed men slip out of a car, enter the motel room, and shoot a few half dozen bullets into the totally empty shower. Jonas, Grey, and Hector round the corner with silenced guns and take out all but one of the assailants. Jonas questions him, getting no answers, until he raises his gun. Jonas thinks, based on the guy’s “suicide by dogma,” whoever sent him wants to win as much as The Unit. Duh, Jonas. Duh.

The next morning, Jonas tells Kim to get some money to a bank in West Virginia. There’s a dummy account under the name John Milton, and Molly knows the details. He tells her whatever she can get, as fast as she can get it. She asks to talk to Bob, but Jonas lies Bob’s not with him. He and the other boys are actually fixing up a car for a ride to yet another impossible to get to so quickly location. They run over the phone as they go.

Kim gets money from Molly; it’s hidden behind the grate in her microwave. Interesting. Molly insists on going with Kim because, again, duh.

Mack hasn’t broken under beatings or even bent. Ransom keeps telling him to sign, and Mack keeps bringing himself back to memories of his life at home. He and Tiffy do a little pre-marital relations flirting. And then, they start taking out his teeth. More memories of Tiffy, until the moment her visage turns into a Mystique-like snake. True colors, and all. He awakens in a cell, alone.

At the bank in West Virginia, Kim’s about to send the money when Vorhees and his flunky bust in. Kim tries to lie the account information on fire, but the lighter won’t work. Vorhees is a little too triumphant over her failure; his companion tells her to say hi to Jonas. Molly and Kim hurry from the bank, trying to contact the men and tell them not to access the account, since it’ll be tracked. All the cell’s are unavailable. Molly wants to know who these men are, and Kim tells her she and Bob were recruited by the CIA, but they’re not working for the agency now. Molly asks how Kim could let the agents follow her to the bank. And when she sees the verse from Paradise Lost clipped to Kim’s windshield, she gets it, finally: Jonas wanted them to be followed.

And out in another parking lot, Jonas and his guys confront Vorhees and his man. Jonas says the first one to tell them who he’s working for gets to keep his knees. Vorhees says, “Gary Marsh, CIA.” And with that, Jonas shoots the flunky in the knee. For being rude to Molly once. Jonas, you are one scary bald dude.

Ransom is back with the confession one more time, and he thinks he’s got Mack done this time. He tells Mack to sign for the sake of Tiffy and the girls, and Mack agrees. He signs. But, because he’s a Uniteer, he’s used the name “Gary Marsh.” Ransom says, “Take him.”

On a tennis court somewhere, Ransom’s playing tennis with his daughter. Jonas, Grey, Bob, and Hector surround the court, and Ransom sends his daughter to buy ice cream. Jonas says they want Mack, and they know all about the ghost ship of oceanic detainees. There’s some jingoistic back-and-forth about patriotism and terrorism. Ransom is trying to protect a way of life, one wherein terrorists or anyone looking at you sideways can be locked up anywhere at any time and tortured, executed, and disposed of with no consequences, with The Unit as the patsy for all that illegal activity. Jonas thinks it’s unconstitutional, and Ransom’s like, who cares about the Constitution? They come to an agreement: Mack for The Unit’s silence.

Ryan’s still playing Charlotte like a fiddle. In more ways than one, since she’s getting all buttoned up after being sexy’ed down.

Hector, Bob, and Grey position themselves around the fancy dinner where Charlotte and Ryan are in attendance. Bob’s playing security, Hector waiter, and Grey Peeping Tom. Charlotte introduces Ryan to Gary Marsh. The two men sit, and Ransom escorts Charlotte away for small talk. Jonas pours their champagne, and Ryan lets Marsh know where it’s at. He says he doesn’t know if the Agency is doing Marsh’s dirty work or vice versa, but he could kill the man for what he’s done to The Unit. And that’s why Grey’s hanging out in a vent with a rifle scope. (Not Bob? The sharpshooter?) Marsh says the security’s tighter than Britney’s ass, which is how Ryan says he got his men in place all over the room as well. Grey shoots Marsh through the hand, and Jonas rushes to assist him. He whispers to Marsh about the laser dot on his chest, and how if Jonas and his men can get to him here, they can get to him everywhere. That’s because the people The Unit come up against are almost always exceptionally dumb. “Call off the executions. Call off the dogs. And release my man Gerhardt.” Marsh says Jonas underestimates his authority, but Jonas hopes not. The men all march out.

Charlotte follows Ryan, asking what’s going on. He tells her to take her job and shove it. Of their plan to go to London and start over, he says, “Can’t stand the rain, baby.”

Mack’s given clothes and told to stand. He looks like a mountain of gristle. He steps onto the deck of the giant prison ship, a titanic length boat in the middle of nowhere.

Bob hands the air freshener back to the woman informant, saying The Unit’s been reinstated, so all is cool. Except in the case of sulfurous foods, when you’re going to need that cardboard tree, dude. The woman tries to recruit Bob some more, but he’s not biting. She leaves the air freshener, just in case. A woman who thinks ahead.

Mack greets Jonas, and Mack is still joking and standing, “another day in the army. He lies to Jonas that what got him through was thinking about his prom date. And, apparently, America. Oh, lord.

The men pull up on base and greet their women, as all missions end. Or, if they have no women, they greet Ryan back in his fatigues and dumb hat. Tiffy’s waiting for Mack, but even if she got him through his beating, there’s no love for her now. For her true serpentine features have been revealed.