Big Shots: Three's a Crowd (Episode 4)

First, let me just say that “Big Shots” seems to be improving with each episode. Better writing, better acting, better lighting, and all that jazz. Still no Emmy winner (although a nom for Dontrelle would be nice), but watchable. Now, if I could just remember where I left my dignity? Oh right, it’s behind that DVD box set of “Save by the Bell: The College Years.” *shame*

Duncan’s little black book saga continues this episode. Brody finds out from Dontrelle (yeah! We get a whole minute with Dontrelle) where the black book might be. We also find out that Duncan’s archenemy, Terrence, bailed Dontrelle out of jail in exchange for the same intelligence on the black book. So we’ve got a battle on our hands between those who want to destroy the black book and those who want to publish it. Winner takes all. And by all, I mean Lisbeth’s fine lookin’ ass, because that’s really what this whole mess seems to be about.

Duncan and Lisbeth continue their crazy attempt at monogamy. It couldn’t come at a worse time for Duncan though; it’s Fashion Week! Apparently, that means a lot of tall, skinny chicks without any self-esteem will be all about trying to score with the CEO of a major cosmetics company. How is this different from any other day, you ask? Beats me, so let’s just go with it. It’s better if we don’t ask any questions. Writers don’t like that. Anyhoot, Duncan’s daughter, Cam, seems oddly obsessed with catching her dad cheating on her mom. She glares at him periodically. That’s some Village of the Damned shit. Scary. It’s effective, though, as Duncan rebukes the titties of multiple women this episode. In a twist, however, it turns out that Lisbeth is cheating on Duncan with Terrence. FYI, ladies, Terrence wouldn’t be nearly as attractive as he seems without that hot British accent. Keep that in perspective.... especially when on holiday in the UK.

Stop staring at me!

Terrence is out for blood and Duncan must find that damn book to save his career and any chance he might have with his super skinny ex-wife. Some good news comes at the end of the episode when Duncan wakes up to an anonymously sent text message that reads, “I’ve got something you want.” I’m hoping ninjas are involved. Hear that ABC?

In other manly news, Karl comes home to find that Marla has moved in with him and the Misses. She lost her condo for some reason, I can’t remember. I’ll assume it’s because she’s crazy. Marla spends most of her day moping and irritating Karl, so Wendy suggests that Karl find a date for Marla. See, ladies, all you need is a man. Karl, obviously, isn’t keen on the idea of playing pimp for his ex-mistress. He decides a good tactic might be to set her up with a guy that isn’t right for her (Brody’s idea). Karl asks a research chemist at his pharmaceutical company over for dinner. Phil likes Broadway music and wears very cute glasses so Karl assumes he’s a gay. Score one for the straight man! Alas, not only is he a breeder, but he’s better in everyway when compared to her last boyfriend, Kyle, AKA Karl (that's a penis joke in case you weren't paying attention). Marla quickly becomes obsessed with the poor guy and asks him if she can move in with him. She’s a “stage 4 clinger.” Phil tells Karl to break up with Marla for him. Grow small balls, Phil, but I digress, Karl tells Marla that Phil went home indefinitely to take care of his sick mother. Marla, because she is crazy, recovers fast and she and Wendy head out for a night on the town. I’m hoping that next week Marla and Wendy start getting’ it on. That’s the only logical step this storyline can take.

Poor James hasn’t had sex in 37 days (oh my!). His golf game has improved, but why play good golf when you can be getting a knobber from a tranny, or anyone, really? The guys and Katie (I’ve been calling her Nia because she’s played by Nia Long and, frankly, I like Nia better than Katie) think that he needs to get laid. Duncan reminds James that “relationships come in all forms; some last 15 years and end very badly and some last 15 minutes and end very, very happily.” How enlightened! James must agree because the first piece that comes rootin’ around he beds. Not that I blame him, that first piece just happens to be Erin Daniels. Erin played my most favorite TV lesbian ever… Dana on “The L-Word.” I miss Dana so; she died of breast cancer like 2 seasons ago. It was nice to see her alive on TV again, even if she was playing a naughty straight girl.

Hey, isn't that the lesbian from that girly show on cable?

Erin’s character, Rebecca, is a consultant that James and Nia hired to help restructure AmeriMart. She comes on very strong and ends up being only the second women that James has slept with in 20 years. Thank God she’s just a consultant because she’ll be out of town in a week. This should leave some room for Katie to get in on the action. They’re clearly in love, but are still in deep denial about it. Don’t fight the feeling! This ain’t nothing a little tequila couldn’t fix, though, so I remain optimistic for a James and Katie coitus mating scene.

As it is, Brody seems to be, very much, a supporting character to the other guys. Maybe it was always intended to be that way, but if I were Christopher Titus I’d be pissed.

Scratch that. If I were Christopher Titus I’d be very thankful for the job.