How I Met Your Mother: How I Met Everyone Else (Episode 305)

Anyone else wanna hit from the sandwich?

Every wonder how the characters on "How I Met Your Mother" met?  If so, then this is your lucky episode!  This week Ted begins his story talking about how he met this one girl, when all of a sudden he can't remember her name; after all it's been twenty three years since he's dated this girl.  So Ted decides to refer to her as "Blah Blah." "Blah Blah" and Ted met online but "Blah Blah" was completely embarrassed by this so decided to make up a story that Ted and her met in a cooking class.  Before the crew met "Blah Blah" Ted wanted them to be aware of this in case "Blah Blah" decided to lie about how they met again.  Barney seems to think that this girl is crazy but explains that if she is equally as hot as she is crazy that it's OK, going into a drawing of explaining his theory.

Sure enough when Ted introduces "Blah Blah" or "Blah" for short, she starts talking about how Ted and she met at a cooking class.  Marshall and Lily then decide to go into how they met.

It was the beginning of freshmen year. Lily was moving into her dorm room and needed some help setting up her stereo. For some reason she felt drawn to room 110.  Marshall opened the door and it was love at first sight.

"Blah Blah" is threatened by this story, thinking that Marshall and Lily's meeting sounds more romantic than Ted and her meeting at a cooking class that she decides to make up more of their story.  She tells the crew how she just knew after meeting Ted in the cooking class and after they touched hands that he was going to go up to the rooftop and kiss her and he did!  But what I really think is that Ted needs to come over to my place. Trust me; we wouldn't have to make up any stories.....

Anyways, "Blah Blah" then wants to know how Robin and Barney started dating.  Robin is horrified by this idea and actually says no sixteen times.  Robin explains that she is single and has never dated Barney.  "Blah Blah" now becomes the one who is horrified saying out loud how Robin is single, pretty AND friends with Ted.......

Ted and Marshall then explain how they met.  Marshall was eating "a sandwich" or what is Ted's code name for smoking pot, after all Ted is telling his story to his children.  Marshall thought when Ted arrived at his dorm room that he was the Dean and started freaking out, hiding his "sandwich," Marshall didn't figure out that Ted wasn't the Dean until later that night when he saw Ted eating a "sandwich" too.  The two bonded and the rest is history.

Instead of saying something clever like boy I could sure go for a sandwich right now, "Blah Blah" proclaims that while the rest of them were wasting time at college she was making handbags.  Dude seriously, this is why I don't date online.

Barney and Ted then go into how they met. They first laid eyes on each other at the bar, peeing in a urinal.  Mid pee, Barney goes into telling a story of how this is the first time his brother has been out since his Mother died.  Ted apologizes and Barney bursts out laughing how he made the whole thing up mid pee and if this story worked on Ted then it would definitely work on the blonde at the end of the bar. After the two shared this bond Barney decided to take Ted under his wing.  He gave him what he thought were important tips like suit up, loose the goatee, don't get married until your thirty and not to say anything till the girl who is sitting down at their table leaves.

Apparently, Barney told the blonde girl that Ted was his deaf brother. The girl happens to know sign language and signs to Ted who also happens to know sign language and signs back.  The blonde ends up leaving Barney her number and Barney thinks that Ted has just become his new wingman, even though the blonde girl ended up giving Barney a fake number.  Ted then confesses to the group that he told the blonde the truth and told her to give Barney a fake number.

When Robin and Ted explain how they met "Blah Blah" finds out that they once dated and is not OK with this.  "Blah Blah" pulls Ted aside and tells him that she just wants the perfect love story like Lily and Marshall have.  Ted confesses that the way Lily and Marshall met isn't as great as they made it out to seem.

Before Marshall and Lily met Ted met Lily first at Freshmen Orientation. They ended up making out after Marshall finished doing a keg stand. "Blah Blah" decides that Ted needs to tell Marshall this and if he doesn't then she will.  When Ted and "Blah Blah" walk back over to the group "Blah Blah" asks Lily how she met Ted.  Lily explains walking with Marshall into his room, where she found Ted leaving a message for his girlfriend, Karen, saying that he didn't love her anymore.

Ted gives her a look but Lily doesn't remember.  All she remembers is that the last guy she kissed before Marshall was at the Freshmen Orientation. She refers to this guy as "too much tongue guy." Ted tells her well your "unreasonably small mouth opening girl." They both look at each other and realize what happened.

Marshall and Barney meanwhile go into the story of how the two of them met. Ted brought Marshall to the bar to meet Barney.  As they all sat down, Barney begins telling Marshall that he has been with one woman too long.  Marshall is confused because he has no idea who this guy even is.  Barney decides that from this moment he will be making all the decisions for Marshall. Barney tells him that he has to go talk to the attractive red head that just went up to the bar.  It turns out to be Lily so Marshall accepts.  Marshall goes up and kisses Lily and for about two weeks he is Barney's personal savior.

Lily comes back with Ted and they explain to Marshall how they made out freshmen year.  Marshall laughs and says how he knows they didn't because he remembers Ted making out with Alexis.  "Blah Blah" gets upset and asks Ted who HASN'T he kissed.  She decides that she designs bags, is writing a memoir and is a superstar so she storms off in a huff. After "Blah Blah" leaves we find out that Ted and she met through the online video game "World of Warcraft."

Ted knows that he did kiss Lily but realizes that Lily and Marshall's perfect meeting story is worth preserving.  Ted goes on thinking this until he attends his 20th college reunion.  Alexis is there and asks if he remembers what they were doing in this room twenty years ago.  Ted did kiss Alexis!

Marshall finds a fat "sandwich" and Lily, Ted and Marshall all sit down to eat the tasty treat.  Man, I sure could go for a sandwich.....

Ted asks where his wife is and the group laughs. Once again we are left with the real question. Will be ever meet the Mother?

 For Barney's hilarious quotes and theory of the Hot/Crazy Scale please click here.