A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila - "Under the Covers" (Episode 103)

It's move-in day for the 17 remaining contestants. Tila says it's going to be crazy. Rob thinks it's going to be great to share a house with lesbians, because they love p***y too. Domenico is sporting a lovely t-shirt that declares that he's a "Vagatarian." What a classy guy. First up, everybody turns in their keys - they have to "earn them now." Tila lays down the house rules. Number one: no hooking up when she's not around. Gee, that seems to be the only rule. Tila tells them to get settled in, as they're gonna have a slumber party that night. They walk into the bedroom - there's one big bed for everyone. Amanda describes it perfectly, "Bacteria, feet, dirty." Michael hasn't given up his "I sleep on my mom's couch" story, but is more than happy to share the bed with the ladies. Vanessa is afraid she'll awaken with morning wood in her ass and threatens the boys with her huge lucite stiletto. Krystal said that everyone got into a huge pillow fight to stake their territory. Rob said it was like "retarded summer camp" (well, you got part of that right, dude.) Vanessa gave Domenico a monster wedgie. The gang gets into their "love clothes" and Domenico offers us his thoughts on undergarments. "If it's too hot I sleep naked (oh please don't let it get too hot) I do use sometimes underwear though just (incomprehensible Italian/English mutterings). Sometimes it gets too long and goes wherever it wants so I have to keep it in the cage." Huh? Their going to play spin the bottle, Tila Tequila style. It's truth or dare. Ashli was nervous because she was "inexperienced" (at spinning bottles?) Bobby was first and had to fellate the bottle. Ryan had to wear the girl's lingerie (the thong separated his twig from his berries. I think.) Domenico tried to turn Brandi on with a little wooing/teabagging. Ashley kissed Michael on the lips. Tila has yet another secret for the gang. Rob says ("please don't have a penis.")

The secret is that Tila has a secret room in the house, set up with stripper pole and (mandatory) bar. The boys took to the poles first, which prompted Vanessa to say "keep your balls out of my face." Vanessa, an experienced dancer, started to work the pole and fell on her noggin. Tila decided to spend a little one-on-one time with Rebecca. She's pretty much the most obvious frontrunner ever - as Tila notes, "she's a threat to the rest of them." Domenico (in typical Domenico fashion)  interrupts their moment. Tila thinks Steven is attentive, sweet and respectful. Michael interrupts their quality time, so he could try to break the "mama's boy" mold. Tila asks him why he still lives with his mom. He's being honest (maybe admitting you ride a bicycle is being a little too honest), and Tila finds it "endearing". He even stole a kiss and then, for the 9 millionth time, brings up the couch (Tila Tequila now has an official drinking game! Every time Michael mentions the couch, drink!) Rebecca made out with Brandi and proceeded to be quite the little hellraiser (it looked like she was flirting with Steven as well.) Tila sends the gang off to the bed. Looks quite uncomfortable. In the middle of the night, Rebecca and Steven were having a little touchy-feely under the blankets. Ooohh....

Domenico enjoyed watching everyone sleep (or not sleep, Rebecca.) No one seemed to have a good night's sleep. Tila left a message in a bottle for the gang, which Amanda found and read (she admitted, "I'm a big reader." What'cha want, a cookie?) Tila set up a carnival in the back yard. Krystal, as always was excited. The fair set-up brought back fond memories for Ashley, who used to wash poop off elephants at the state fair. Good times. The gang set off to play the various carnival games. Vanessa said she sucked at every game. Domenico couldn't ring the bell - he blames his arms but, he's not as concerned about them as he is with his "under muscle." Ohhhhkaaaayyy....Tila set up a kissing booth - spin the wheel and get the number of kisses you land on. Ashley admits he falls in love easily. With girls (glad you threw that in.) He's a sucker for "them things." Tila says Ashley's cute "in that sweet and innocent way, like a kid" (or a complete bumpkin.) Tila asks about last night and Domenico rats out Rebecca and Steven - not by name. Domenico shows on a doll what happened and says he's not lying. Tila feels "vulnerable" and "alone." Steven comes up to Tila and Domenico so he can plead his case. But, Domenico didn't say his name, so why is he there? Sneaky!

Tila thinks Steven might be guilty of something. Ashley adds his two cents and throws Rebecca under the bus. Brandi also watched the hijinks and told Domenico to stop watching them. Brandi said that Domenico was exaggerating. Tila asked Rebecca what happened and Rebecca admitted that she kissed Brandi. Whoops. That wasn't what they were talking about. Rebecca denies any involvement with Steven. Tila's upset and says Rebecca needs to get her head out of her ass. Rebecca thinks she's being set up, because she's competition. Rob thinks the girls are going to start backstabbing each other. Brandi is really upset - she's mad she's (once again, it seems) made out to be the bad girl. Tila says she's going to get the facts before elimination. Rebecca's freaking out.

Vanessa assures Rebecca that she's not going to be eliminated. Tila's not happy that her fun fair has turned into a drama fest. She engages everyone in a pie eating contest - the winner gets special, pre-elimination time with Tila. The gang show their pie eating prowess to the tune of "Cherry Pie" with Tila barking at them, "Lick my pie!" Could this show be any less subtle? Vanessa would eat, throw it up, and eat it again. Gross. Really. The winner is Dani. Tila thinks she's "rad." Dani feels vulnerable, but thinks they have a connection. 5 are leaving the Tequila compound tonight.  

Tila's having a hard time with her elimination deliberation. Ashli and Bobby get their keys first (If you thought "Are you willing to stay and rock my world?" from Bret Michaels to his "Rock of Love" suitors was cheesy - Tila's "You still have a shot at love. Are you interested?" is the worst.) Ryan, Amanda, Vanessa, Dani, Ashley, Sarah, couch-boy, Domenico, Steven (she's going to keep an eye on him) and after the world's longest pause, Brandi. Wow, she sent Rebecca home. It's anyone's game right now (also going home Eric, Alex, Rob and Krystal.) Next week, it's a bi-athalon (get it?) and Ashley gets in a fight. Until next week - hey girl, hey!