Pushing Daisies: Girth (Episode 105)

My, what a pink house you have!: Olive, Emerson, and Chuck enjoy some tea, but not much sympathy.

Back in the boarding school of years gone by, Kid Ned is facing his first autumn and with it his first Halloween alone. The school postmistress offers no solace in the way of mail. At least, not until Halloween, when Ned finally receives a single piece of mail -- a pre-printed card, indicating that his father has moved. Duly intrigued, Ned escapes from school, dressing himself and Digby in matching ghost costumes (printed bedsheets with holes for eyes cut out), to find his father's new home. Could Ned make his home here, too? Not unless his dad, his new wife, and his two brand new sons have anything to do with it. Staying in costume, Ned sees his father take his new family out trick-or-treating, leaving Ned behind, back in the past, forgotten.

20 years later, Lucas Shoemaker is feeling poorly himself. A farrier, appropriately enough, Lucas is alone at the stables, not a good place to be:

This is where the ghosts rise up
Allowed to walk the ground
And if you're haunted by your past
You'd best not stick around

Lucas is promptly stomped to death by a shadowy figure riding on a not-so-shadowy horse.

Ew.

The next morning, Chuck and Olive are decorating the diner for Halloween. Olive can't resist teasing Chuck about the secret, and is incredulous that Chuck can still manage to keep her aunt in the dark about what Olive believes is her faked death. Chuck pauses, knowing that the truth is even more unimaginable, but she can't easily defend her choice either. She is vindicated slightly when Ned enters -- though he admits hating Halloween, he perks up when Olive crows that the decorations were Chuck's idea. Deeming it a good idea for the diner, he says they an stay up.

What else does Olive know? She knows she loves to win, and as she's won the larger battle concerning Chuck's secret, she takes the opportunity to celebrate with a good bounce in bed. Alone, unfortunately -- she jumps around, falling back to the floor when the evening news informs her of Lucas's demise, ruled an accident by the police. By the way, I need to move to this city -- any town whose news affiliate will air a segment called "Kittens On Parade!" is a place where I should be.

Back in the Pie Hole kitchen, Chuck reminisces about Halloween, and reminds Ned that it was his favorite holiday once upon a time. Ned won't tell her why he no longer loves it, trying to change the subject to the aunts. Chuck, not wanting to talk about the aunts (and possibly reveal her secret pie-making for them) to Ned, changes the subject back again. This continues until there is no further dialogue on either subject. Oh my goodness, was this a fight? Gah, even their fights are adorable. Will this show's cuteness ever stop holding me hostage? Oh gosh, I hope not.

Olive withdraws a large trophy and a huge sum of money (in a canvas sack with a dollar sign printed on it, just like in cartoon!), using the money as a retainer to hire Emerson. She needs him to solve the case of Lucas's murder. When pressed, Olive reveals that she and Lucas had been heated rivals in the sport of horse racing. Emerson gives her about a second before he starts to giggle, and then about another second before he just bursts into delighted laughter. Olive is less amused, but it's true: for eight years, she was a professional jockey. And PS: she was a fox! She still is, but seriously, the shot of Olive standing at a racetrack with her hair blowing behind her is very glamorous.

Over at the morgue, Ned wonders aloud is having Olive as a client is such a great idea. Emerson, hilariously, mimes calling up the big wad of money for its advice. I guess that decides it -- given the choice between paying his bills and not, Emerson opts for the former. A revived Lucas doesn't look so bad, considering he has hoof prints embedded in his face and chest. H speaks with some difficulty, though Chuck can understand him -- having spent puberty wearing a great deal of orthodontic headgear, she can make out his mumbling. Lucas knows who killed him -- John Joseph Jacobs, or rather the ghost of John Joseph Jacobs, as JJ is long dead. Though Lucas can testify that the ghost will kill "agem", he can't say anything else before his 60 seconds are up.

Back at the diner, Chuck pores over a book about witches and ghosts -- she is surprised to learn that ghosts exist in many different forms. A whole spectrum of ghosts is appealing to her, but not so much to Ned. He doesn't believe in ghosts, much to Chuck's surprise -- just because magic exists in one place (read: his magic touch) doesn't mean it exists anywhere else (read: JJ's ghost). Chuck isn't buying it -- as a child he was afraid of ghosts. He even peed his pants at a seance at the aunts' house! When Ned tries to cover with a story about runny brie, Emerson tells him to just stick to the pee story. Pulling himself away from the booth, Emerson asks Olive if the name John Joseph Jacobs means anything to her. She faints, which I'd say is a "Heck YES!".

Emerson returns to the booth, saying he'll check the jockey bars (I want to go to one right now -- the bar stools must be tiny!) while Ned check out the stables with Chuck. Ned isn't so keen on this, as he has a top secret personal mission. Sadly, Ned's power of subtlety is non-existent, as he employs the old trick of kicking Emerson under the table to indicate that Chuck tagging along is a no-go. Too bad Chuck felt the kick, too. When Emerson goes back to check on the still unconscious Olive, Chuck huffs that she'll go ahead and check the stables alone.

Still fainted, Olive's memories show us taht John Joseph had been the jockey to beat when she and Lucas were racing. A champion and celebrity, he would have been the greatest of all time had he not fallen off his horse and been trampled to death at The 2000 "Jock-Off". Clearly, when it comes to naming horse races, or anything else, for that matter this show is not about the subtlety. Still, though: bwahahahahahaha. The race ended with Olive taking the prize. Olive, spooked by the ordeal, locked away the trophy and prize money, hoping to shake its curse. However, with the mention of John Joseph, could the curse have come back to claim her?

At the jockey bar with Olive, Emerson ponders suspects. He doesn't think Olive is crazy to think someone is after her. A lot of gamblers were left broke after Jock-Off, and no doubt somebody is looking to collect. But why would they wait 7 years? Emerson also nearly gets into trouble with another rider in the race, Pinky, who is now the bartender. A drunk patron, Gordon, is the last jockey from the race. It's Gordon idea that John Joseph rises from his grave to stalk the stables in search of those riders who trampled him. He won't rest until he gets them all, "one by bloody one." Olive Snook looks shook, though apparently she gathers herself well enough to accompany Emerson to John Joseph's crypt. Ew. Prying the lid off, Emerson and Olive discover the skeleton of John Joseph's horse. Correction: John Joseh's legless horse skeleton.

Over in the land of the legged, Chuck and Digby sneak around the stables. Digby, cute as he is, is no good as a guard dog. Chuck finds a package of oyster crackers near the spot where Lucas was found. She screams when she runs into Emerson, wielding a pitchfork and on the trail of the missing horse leg bones. Chuck is relieved, and shares with Emerson that Olive knows about her aunts, and her habit of sending the aunts' pies. Emerson, predictably, doesn't seem to care.

Across town, Emerson is remembering that awful halloween. It seems that runaway Ned had broken into his old house to lie on the floor in his hold bedroom. Present day Ned is doing the same until he startled by the sounds of children shouting. Making his way to the window, he sees children throwing fruit and shouting at the aunts.

At another house, this house all floral with a lawn dotted with lawn jockeys, Emerson, Chuck, and Olive are having tea with John Joseph's mother. Mrs. Jacobs has been busy, orgazing a hall of fame exhibit in his memory. She seems awfuly at ease with having Olive there -- it helps to know that years after the accident, the remaining jockeys are lushes and Olive is still single. Ha! She confirms that the Jacobs crypt holds the remains of John Joseph's horse, as his ashes are kept in an old trophy in her home. Leaving the house, the three discuss whether or not John Joseph is actually still alive. Back in the house, a grate from the basement slams shut. What's Mrs. Jacobs got in the basement? Across town, Pinky gets a visit from the rider. Sorry, Pink -- it was nice knowing you. Sorta.

Ned sits with the aunts, and the three revisit the past by talking about Ned's dad. Vivan remembered that he was handsome, and liked to edge his lawn on Saturdays. Lily, more gruffly: "He was a jackass." Ned doesn't seem surprised by this, though he does seem taken aback when the strawberry on his tongue dies. Looking at the rotted strawberry, which had fallen out of a slice of strawberry-rhubarb pie, he realizes that he must have touched this strawberry before. And if he had, the pie came from his bakery. And the maker of the pie could only be Chuck. The aunts thought he knew about the weekly deliveries (Vivian: "It's like a sex addiction!"), and he plays along. Thinking of Chuck, he realizes the importance of having their own ghost. Though not any more in the know about his own father, Ned gets up to leave. At the door, Vivian and Ned share a nice moment about the why: why does Ned care? Why does Ned miss him so much? Vivian, gently, says that they want to see what they want to see. Though Vivian knows that Chuck is gone, it helps her to fluff Chuck's bed like she's still there. Back to Ned's dad, though, while nobody remembers his dad, everybody sees what a nice man Ned turned out to be. Duly comforted, Ned promises to keep the pies coming, and realizes that as much time as he has spent missing his past, and the childhood that never was, he misses his present, too.

Ned catches up with Emerson and Chuck at the bar. Ned and Chuck swoon over how much they missed each other, though briefly when Emerson imitates their cooing in a hilarious sing-song. They've got a case to work. Pinky needs a drink when he's revived, and Emerson is glad to oblige. Like Lucas, Pinky affirms it was John Joseph on the horse. However, he also cops to snipping the girth on John Joseph's saddle in that fateful race -- it was his fault John Joseph was trampled, and that he and the other jockies were targeted by his ghost. He fixed the race, though never admitted the deed when he and the other jockies gathered immediately after the race. Though he nor anyone else would confess to the crime, they made a pact, vowing to keep the secret of the tampered girth. Olive had protested, but she was overruled. Olive is locked up in her apartment for her own protection -- Chuck provides her with some smug companionship while the boys go out to round up Gordon. Olive and Chuck have some sort of a truce, with Olive promising not to tell Ned about the pies for the aunts, and they decide to celebrate with some tea and bourbon. Ooh, delicious. While Chuck busies herself in the kitchen, Olive sees a horseshoe, a John Joseph horseshoe, floating outside her sindow. Taking the bait, she scrambles up to the roof to find a dark, mysterious figure.

Olive doesn't seem at all afraid -- "It is you!" -- as it is John Joseph Jacobs, about two feet taller than he had been. The horseshoe was a gift she gave him before the race. Though he had died on the track, some electrical shocks at the hospital brought him back to life. His legs, though, where irreversibly broken, so a surgeon replaced them with his horses. He lived at home, a secret in his mother's basement, prevented from leaving. The news of Shoemaker's death finally brought him out so he could find Olive and get the scoop. Having joined them on the roof, Chuck sympathizes with John Joseph as much as Olive does, and the girls decide to accompany him back home so they can talk his mother into letting him live outside of his house. Mom's not home, though, and John Joseph's offer of oyster crackers has the girls wondering if he is the rider. And if John Joseph is alive, what's in Mrs. Jacobs' trophy? They crack it open, and the ashes spill out along with a monogrammed bit that hung on John Joseph's saddle -- the ashes of the burnt girth. How did it get there? Olive and Chuck don't stick around to find out, as the rider chaes them out of the house and into the dark woods.

Gordon is drunk, though alive -- riding in the back of Ned's car, he reveals that Pinky had stopped drinking though he still ran the bar. Before he died, he went around making amends -- one of his visits was paid to Mrs. Jacobs, to whom he confessed about the tampered girth. He'd even brought the ashes to Mrs. Jacobs' house. Ned and Emerson realize it's Mrs. Jacobs who'd been killing the jockeys, and change course for her house.

In the woods, a now injured Chuck and Olive scramble through the woods. The boys arrive at the house and, finding it empty, make for the woods when they hear a horse neigh. Olive realizes that it's her Mrs. Jacocbs' wants. She deposits a protesting Chuck behind a protective tree, and stands in a clearing to meet her fate. The horse rears up to trample her when Ned dashes out and grabs Olive, saving her life. Meanwhile, Emerson knocks out Mrs. Jacobs with a shovel: "I love you shovel!" Overwhelmed, grateful, and still in his arms, Olive pulls Ned into a passionate kiss. A kiss that, sadly for Olive, is cut short when Chuck cries out and Ned rushes to her side.

Mrs. Jacobs is sent off the prison, Olive gives John Joseph the Jock-Off trophy and money, and Ned takes Chuck trick-or-treating at the aunts' house. She misses them just like he misses his father, but at least she can see them in person (disguised as a ghost). Confronting his own ghost made him realize it was wrong to keep Chuck away from them like he did. This admission inspires Chuck to confess about the pies, though he doesn't seem mad about that, or about the fact that Olive and Emerson already knew.

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