South Park - "Guitar Queer-o" (Episode 1106)

The boys of South Park have discovered "Guitar Hero" and are jamming to Kansas' "Carry On Wayward Son." Stan and Kyle are proving to be quite proficient at it. Stan's dad tries to make playing a real guitar look cool by playing the same riff on his guitar. The kids aren't impressed. Cartman says "Real guitars are for old people" and Randy walks away, dejected. Later that night, Randy sneaks out of bed and tries to play the video game - and sucks.

Stan and Kyle broke 100,000 points on the game and the doorbell rings - it's Charles Kincaid, from the Kincaid Talent Agency (did they mean for him to look like Rueben Kincaid from "The Partridge Family"? Did I just date myself?) He asks to be Stan and Kyle's manager and promises them a million points. Charles takes the boys to meet with the head of a record label (who looks like the colonel from "Boogie Nights" - am I reading too much into this?) He's impressed with the boys' gaming skillz and signs them to his label. He also invites them to a party at his mansion. The party features naked girls, piles of drugs and boasts all of Colorado's biggest celebrities, including the local news anchor and the guy from the America's Furniture Warehouse commercials. Oh, and Jay Cutler from the Broncos. Stan greets him with, "You kind of suck but my dad says you might be good someday." Charles has set up a gig for them where they are going to score 1 million points. Kyle says they've arrived and "life's not going to suck so hard" for them anymore.

The boys rehearse for their big gig with Charles. He sends Kyle away and talks to Stan. He thinks Kyle is holding him back and wants to find him a partner to maximize his score. Charles sets up a meeting for Stan and his new partner, Thad Jarvis. ("'Sup".) He's so good that he can play acoustically. Everybody in the restaurant even claps along. Stan and Thad are practicing and all of the boys are impressed. Kyle walks in and wants to know why Thad is playing with Stan. Stan explains the situation and offers to buy Kyle out. He says it was all about the points and Kyle walks out.

Stan heads to the video game store looking for a game guide for Guitar Hero. The pressure to make 1 million points is getting to him. The clerk at the store tells him that maybe he should try another game to "ease the stress", Heroin Hero - where you run around a magical forest and shoot up with heroin. ("The ultimate first person shooter. All you do is run through the forest and chase a big dragon. But you never catch the dragon.") Stan gets the game and says its awesome. Stan and Thad are rehearsing at the arcade ("I Wanna Be Sedated" - how hard can a 3 chord Ramones song be?) and Charles assures the record label president that they will be ready for the big gig. Stan starts missing notes and wants to change the song. He throws a temper tantrum. Thad quits. Stan said he just wanted to play alone. Charles finds the Heroin Hero game and tells him to pull his act together. At the bowling alley, Kyle is playing Guitar Hero all by himself (appropriately enough, the song is "Ev'ry Rose Has Its Thorn.") Some boys recognize him and ask why he's playing at the bowling alley. Kyle tells them to leave him alone and bellies up to the bar with a Fresca. The bartender offers him a chance to play for free if he does a few odd jobs around the place. Kyle thanks him but declines the offer. Charles comes to Stan's to get him for the big gig and finds him passed out on the couch - he's had too much Herion Hero. A crowd has gathered at the arcade to see Stan reach his milestone. Stan is shirtless and unkempt. He's a mess and can't play ("Pretty Vacant" by the Sex Pistols.) The video crowd hates him.

Stan returns to the video game store and declares he's done with Guitar Hero. The clerk suggests Rehab Hero, but Stan just wants a driving game. He gets one and plays it at home while listening to the radio. The DJ introduces "Carry On Wayward Son" by saying it was the song two fourth graders scored 100,000 points playing and wondered what happened to them. Stan had flashbacks of the good old days and backed the virtual car up. Kyle was now playing at the bowling alley and was in the middle of "I Remember You" when Stan worked his way through the crowd and asked if they could talk. He asks if they could play again. Kyle says he doesn't need him anymore but Stan says he needed Kyle. He wants them to play for the fun of it, but they could still try to break a million points. They head home and find Randy playing Heroin Hero. They kick him out and play - and it looks like they may hit one million points. Butters gathers all of the boys to watch them. They hit one million points - at the end, the game says "You are fags!" How anti-climactic. Stan and Kyle put down their controllers and leave. Cartman asks Butters to play him and Butters agrees "only if I get to betray you after the sex and drugs party."