The Hills: With This Ring... (Episode 315)

Sorry. I just woke up after being asleep for the past two days. What knocked me out, you ask? Isn't it obvious -- it was this week's episode of "The Hills". Seriously -- was this not the Worst. Episode. Ever? Or at least the dullest? And where has Lo been for the last few weeks? Lo is fun. Lo needs her own show, where she drives around Hollywood and dispenses advice or insults from the driver's seat of a Mercedes Benz convertible. I think it would be a hit.

Whitney has a non-date date with Jarett, the trainer who had previously asked Lauren and Audrina out on a double date with him and his friend Derek in "Second Chances". You remember Derek, right? The thrift store Casanova from whom we've not heard since. Anyway, Whitney's date with Jarett isn't disastrous, but it doesn't set off sparks, either. Whatevs -- Jarett's got to build his own brand, and I'm sure that will take all the time and energy he can devote while Whitney continues to have fun or whatever people call it instead of "slutting around".

Meanwhile, if Heidi and Spencer can't get married at the church of Heidi's dreams without six months of pre-marriage counseling, why not just jet off to Cabo or Vegas? That's Spencer's preference, though Heidi would rather wait and plan the wedding she's been dreaming of. Naturally, this doesn't stop Spencer from booking a hotel room and packing their bags, surprising Heidi when she gets home from work. Heidi can't get Spencer to understand that she wants a real wedding planned by them while Spencer's evil mind tricks fail to convince her to elope. The kicker, though, is when Spencer leaves home for the night. This after Heidi dramatically removed her engagement ring and shut herself in their bedroom. The next day, Heidi and Spencer make up with some red roses that looked like they came from the supermarket (no offense to market blooms, but come on).

I guess my objection is that for like the millionth time they've had the same fight they've had about their wedding, their engagement, their relationship. Heidi insists on thinking for herself while Spencer would rather she just not. And by the way, has he even told his family yet? Has Heidi meet his family?

Which leads me to next week's episode, the promo for which looks way more promising. In that we meet Spencer's sister! I know -- a female Spencer? I can't. wait.

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