The Hills: A Night At The Opera (Episode 316)

The one thing I can say about Stephanie Pratt, sister to Spencer and future sister-in-law to Heidi, is that she is loyal. Problem is that she maintains the kind of freaked out crazy "loyalty" that reads as obsessive and controlling. So she's definitely Spencer's sister. Visiting the lovebirds at their apartment, she's down for Spencer getting married in Tibet, though Heidi still wants a church wedding with their families present. If it's family Heidi wants, then it's family she'll get -- Stephanie even volunteers to become ordained on the internet so she can perform the ceremony herself. That's great, but Heidi's face is all "Oh, no."

At their own home, Audrina complains about Justin/Bobby. Again. To Lauren. Of course. Alone, they're fine, but out in the world, there are other girls that J/B likes to ogle. While he's out with Audrina. Sure, guys look, but does he have to look so much? Nonetheless, the girls plan to meet up with Frankie and Brody at Opera, and Audrina will invite J/B.

Opera is hopping, and it's not long before drama finds Lauren. Stephanie and Roxie interrupt Lauren and the gang's evening by exhorting Brody to come home with them. She doesn't get why Brody is still friends with Lauren when she hates Spencer. As far as she is concerned, Lauren hates Heidi and Spencer, so she hates Lauren. Apparently, Roxie does, too, as all she does is parrot whatever Stephanie says. Brody tries to defuse the situation, reminding Stephanie that whatever happened Lauren and Heidi is between the two of them, and there's no need to get mixed up. Stephanie is not satisfied with this response, so she stalks off.

Meanwhile, Justin/Bobby gets into trouble himself when he blows off the group to kiss a redheaded girl at the bar. Audrina can barely respond, but is able to confront the girl and then Justin/Bobby outside. When Lauren puts her arm around Audrina and starts walking her towards the car, J/B pries Audrina away. Behind a dumpster (!), J/B does his best to get Audrina off the topic of commitment (and his apparent misunderstanding of it) and think about whether or not she could leave him. He sounds almost smug asking, and this would seem to be rewarded when Audrina gets in the car to go home with him. But as she tells Chiara the next day at work, they didn't talk in the car, and he went home without her.

Stephanie reports his triumph in "calling out" Lauren at Opera to a proud Spencer. Strangely, her retelling of the event seems way different from what we saw, in that she ended the conversation with an obvious triumph when in reality she just whined a whole bit before taking her flunky with her, but who cares? Spencer is elated, Stephanie is satisfied, and Heidi can hardly take the talk anymore.

J/B stops by Audrina's apartment one more time, where Audrina finally puts on her big girl pants and tells J/B they're better off as friends. She can't stop herself crying, though, when she shuts the door on him for good.

Poll: Who does Stephanie Pratt resemble?