Everybody Hates Chris: Everybody Hates The New Kid (Episode 3.9)

Guess who's coming to Corleone? Another black student, much to Chris's delight and Greg's disappointment. Chris is stoked because he's finally got a pal to whom he can relate. It's a hard gig being the token black kid in a white bread school - now we know how Chris Rock became Chris Rock. Greg, on the other hand, is jealous of Chris's new friend. He knows he can't compete with Albert. Ahhh, so this is how Vanilla Ice got his start. Sadly, I can totally relate to Greg. I always had the friend who ditched me as soon as a better offer came along. It sucks to be the Pepsi. Or the 7-Up, which I actually prefer to Sprite.

Chris's mom also wins her own private lottery. She gets a refund check in the mail from the IRS that's three times what it was supposed to be. She sees it as a gift, Julius sees it as the opposite. He knows the IRS is going to be banging on the door, trying to get its money back. The IRS is like a bad old uncle, who never gives a gift that's any more than you "deserve." If he did by chance give you that extra dollar - four instead of three - he'll talk for years about the dollar you stole. Same goes for the IRS. Rochelle doesn't pay Julius any mind. She buys a glorious couch to celebrate the extra cash.

At school, Albert is not exactly the nice guy Chris has built up in his mind. He makes snide remarks to every kid, including Caruso and the Latino kid. Worse, Albert's nasty behavior is contagious, as Chris picks up the bad habit of mean put-downs. Narrator Chris remembers feeling as though they were Will and Martin in "Bad Boys."

Greg calls this bad behavior to Chris's attention, but Chris sees it as Greg getting bitchy. Greg is actually pretty bitchy, but he's right. Bitchy and right = OK; bitchy and wrong = Paris Hilton. Chris finally gets it that Albert's not a good guy and gets back with Greg. Yes, sometimes Pepsi wins out.