Women's Murder Club: To Drag and to Hold (Episode 9)

This episode, we have a drag queen, face down in a toilet. Not as fabulous an exit as Glenn a.k.a. Dakota would have wanted, I think.

Dakota was a happy queen, a big star at a drag cabaret. She had a loving partner, Bruce, who with Dakota’s caring help, entered cancer remission a few months ago. Lindsay was so touched by their relationship, she felt compelled to tell Tom, the day before his wedding, how she sincerely wishes them the best of luck and a happy life together. Of course, in the middle of her speech, Heather had to walk in and ruin the moment. But Lindsay, the epitome of class and general wonderfulness, simply brushed away her tears, and said happily, almost serenely, “It’s ok, we’re done.” I think this moment calls for a, “You go girl” and perhaps a Z snap.

Lindsay then immerses herself in the case to ward off any “Tom wedding thoughts.”

She finds Dakota’s been having appointments with some dude called “Thaddeus Prescott.” Turns out he’s Dakota’s son. Until Dakota got her career going, she used to sell her little soldiers to the sperm bank to pay her bills. Thaddeus tracked her down and they bonded. He too is a performer, but not of the glitter, wigs, and heels variety. He’s the standard folk rock kind. Also, he too is rejected by his Republican parents.

This leads Lindsay and her peeps to suspect Thaddeus’ NRA loving parents. But only momentarily. Soon, we find out Dakota was being harassed by a drag king: Karen Adams a.k.a. Buzz Baltimore. During the interrogation, he says he was upset Dakota never hired him and was bad mouthing him to other club owners, so much so he hasn’t been able to get a job since. Buzz is a very strange specimen - like Michael Jackson weird. He laughs inappropriately, his eyes are glazed over, and he felt compelled to tape his own interrogation. When Lindsay tells Claire this, she thinks he might be a narcoleptic. Further, narcoleptics sometimes take GHB (a date rape drug). Coincidentally enough, GHB was found in Dakota’s system. Not enough to kill her, but enough to make her out of it. What actually killed her was some strangling and not being able to breathe having your head shoved into a toilet and all.

The women go back to the scene of the crime and try to re-enact Dakota’s death in her itty bitty bathroom. Turns out, Dakota was probably strangled with the killer’s feet while he/she held onto the shower curtain rod. (I know. Bare with me. Think of how fabulous Angie Harmon is. It makes this plot twist slightly more bearable.) Anyhow, they find the killer’s fingerprint on the shower rod.

Soon after we find out Buzz was never prescribed GHB, Claire shaves off Dakota’s hair and finds a cowboy boot imprint on her head. Who wear’s such fabulous boots? Perhaps in snake skin leather? Mr Duprix, head of Dakota’s club. The kind looking man killed her because she was leaving his club to start her own. If he couldn’t have her, nobody else could. Sigh. A story as old as time: drag queen meets club owner, club owner makes drag queen star, drag queen wants to do bigger and better things, so club owners strangles drag queen with his feet.

As for Tom’s wedding, it was not the most pleasant of events. As we know, Claire was forced to attend. However she spent most of her time on the phone, helping Lindsay with her case. (Claire’s sub was pretty useless – she believed in protocol. Pff – rookie.) The first time Lindsay called, Claire’s phone rang in the middle of the ceremony, when she picked up Lindsay heard Tom say “I do.” Super pleasant. But Cindy is there to offer moral support. So we’re good.

Jill is also forced to go to the wedding. Denise made her go to upkeep work interrelation. She says it’s a work obligation. I … I don’t get it. Has Denise been sniffing glue lately?

Jill goes with Luke and Denise with Hanson. (Eep!) Right after Jill asked Luke to draft living wills so she could receive power of attorney if anything should happen to him, an angry drunk Denise tells Hanson to stop flirting with Jill. She also says she should leave with Luke while Hanson sleeps with Jill. Again. On her desk. I preferred the conga line drunk Denise to this angry drunk Denise. Luke leaves, but not before telling Jill he half expected this – she was never 100 per cent in this relationship. Look at him being all insightful.

So Jill calls Lindsay to pick her up since Luke left with her keys, purse and car. While Claire, Jill, Cindy and Lindsay are outside chatting, Heather walks out and tells them to leave. They obviously don’t want to be there, and Lindsay really has to let Tom go. SHE’S TRYING OK?!?! I mean, god!

Back at their usual diner, the club is knocking back a few martinis. Lindsay says Heather has once again said something she respects. Bummer. But it’s ok, she says she thinks she’s truly let Tom go.

When Lindsay gets back home, a little slurry, an FBI agent is waiting on her door step. Somebody sent them a picture of her with some pen marks on her lips – it’s the Kiss Me Not Killer and she’s his next victim.

Again: DUN DUN DUN.

The last episode of the season should air in 2008. Unfortunately, we’ll have to live the rest of 2007 Angie Harmon-less.