A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila - "One Shot Too Many" (Episode 110)

It's time for the obligatory clip show, hosted by the dork (Ryan Stout) who's been doing the after show (which tries to make fun of the show before "The Soup" gets at it. It's as lame as it sounds.) Joining him, the show's star, Miss TT herself. We are promised never before seen footage and insight from Tila. Our first unseen treat involves Rebecca and Sara sharing a body shot on the first day at the house (while all of the girls hope that the boys will be able to understand lesbians better, not just see them for their bodies and stuff. Yeah, body shots are very educationally helpful in that way. Michael (Mr. Mama's Couch) does his first ever body shot off of Sara, who didn't mind because she felt he "had no game." Michael admitted he loved lesbians all of a sudden. Tila was "shocked" at the footage, as she (allegedly) had never seen it before.

And now, the few moments I've been waiting to see since episode one, the Keasha montage! Hey girl, hey! Tila said she thought Keasha was "interesting" (complete with air quotes.) We get to see her day one costume again (the caution tape around her chest and the tool belt, remember?) But now, we get a little more insight about what the outfit says about her. "I come from a world of design." And then we get this jem - "I am...I would say...at spirit...a little bit...(giggle.)" Tila said she was a trainwreck (but great TV - come on MTV, give this woman a reality show!) Now we revisit the moment when Tila told everyone she was a (cough, cough) bisexual. We see the boys fighting at the pool party and get to revisit Rebecca and Tila's little poolside chat. (Hey MTV, we already saw this clip!) Oh, but the kiss is longer. Tila giggled nervously while watching the kissing. I'm bored already.

Dorkus and Tila revisit the "Bi-Athalon" and get to see unseen footage of the boys whining about the fact that they got beaten by the girls. Waaah, waaah. Of course, this leads to some clips from the boys' trip to Tila's "hell," including Domenico getting strapped to some sort of torture device and is forced to say hi to his mom before being whipped and a little guy-on-guy action between Bobby and Steven, which rapidly turns into a whip fight (it sounds as lame as it seems.) We also get to see the boys getting on their knees and apologizing to Tila (They should actually apologize to us, don'cha think?) Now Tila gets to see some of what happened when she wasn't around. Vanessa started a big debate to whether or not gay couples should have children, as it wasn't fair for the kids. Here we go. This upset Brandi because her mom was a lesbian. Amanda thinks Vanessa is an idiot (and then tossed out the "retarded" word again, yes, the girl with the developmentally challenged siblings. Who's the idiot now?) As always, Dani proved to be the voice of reason.

It's time for another "TT Trainwreck" - country bumpkin Ashley. Apparently he had a hard time with the name of the woman he loved (Tia and Teelana are a few of his gaffes) as well his competitors (Domaniko, Stevenson, Brian - actually Michael, Robbie.) Looking back, Tila said she give him another shot - not! After he was kicked off, old Ash was so enraged that he tried to kick over a very heavy flower pot and hurt his foot. He went to the hospital and attempted to fill in the paperwork ("What's martial status?" "Method of arrival...was it a Ford or a Chevy?" No one can be that stupid (unless they work in government - wakka, wakka!) The hick actually broke his foot.

We travel back to the night everyone moved into the house and found out they were all sharing one big bed. Pillow fight! (Pretty violent pillow fight, if you ask me.) Vanessa gave poor Domenico an atomic wedgie. Ah, Domenico. We now get to enjoy memories of Little Italy. His "100% Italian Ass" bathing suit, telling a tight-shirted Tila "I can see the nipples" (honey, we all can) and attempting to turn Brandi on during a game of truth or dare (if teabagging turned Brandi on, he was successful.) Oh, and we get to enjoy him tell us what a dingleberry is. He thought it was a "berry coming from the bush." Wrong side, dude. All in all, he is a sweet enough actor guy and should do well on his own reality show (coming soon on MTV!) And, although Domenico didn't get Tila, he seemed to have formed a curious relationship with Ashley while he was still at the house (he stood up for his "man from Milan" when Marcus, he of the irritating laugh, was hating on him.)

Remember when everyone voted Dani most compatible for Tila? Dork-o-rama asked Tila if she thought everyone voted that way because they felt she wasn't attracted to a butchy lesbian like Dani, but Tila felt everyone honestly thought Dani was a cool chick (which I do believe she is.) It's now time for the crazy Vanessa montage. (She says she's not crazy, she's just emotional.) Basically, we see lots of clips of her drinking. Her craziest moment? Attempting to get into a philosophical discussion with Ashley (I can't think of anything more futile.) This leads into a fight montage, complete with more snippets from the brainiacs. And then...it's a dance montage. All I really got from this is that Michael has no rhythm whatsover.

Brandi was emotional "allll dayyy looong" - but Tila liked her. She had that "Pow! Bam! Boom!" (whatever that is) and was very emotional about cookies (oh...kay....) We look back on their relationship. They made a connection, but after she left the house, Tila couldn't take her back. Sniffle. Tila said during family visit week, Tila most enjoyed hanging with Dani's family, especially granny. She said they were just like her. Sure they were. Granny looked vaguely uncomfortable as Tila told her that she's usually attracted to lipstick lesbians, but that Dani opened her eyes (Granny later confessed "I don't know what a lipstick lesbian is.") Granny is really cool though. "A Shot at Love with Granny Dani" anyone?

Break out the hankies, it's time for the elimination montage. Hugs and tears with a pinch of crazy, courtesy of Ashley and Vanessa. Dork-alicious told us that Tila did fall in love...with a dolphin in Mexico. If Dani wasn't in the competition, I'd almost believe that. Sheesh! Thank God the season finale is next week, I can't handle this anymore!