Everybody Hates Chris: Everybody Hates Kwanzaa (Episode 3.10)

It's Christmastime in Bed-Stuy and Chris's ignorant teacher decides to give the class a Christmas present: an assignment! Awwww! Oh, but wait... It's not a reading or writing assignment! Woo hoo! It's a random act of kindness assignment! Chris thinks about working at a soup kitchen, but quickly finds that all the white people have snapped up those jobs. On his way out of the soup kitchen, he runs into Kill Moves, the show's resident homeless crazy person. Or is it the show's resident crazy homeless person. Oh shucks! I think it's supposed to be the show's resident mentally ill homeless person. Sigh... Anyway, Chris decides to make Kill Moves his own personal charity project. As he says, Kill Moves is a "Daily Double": a crazy guy and a homeless person wrapped up in one! Merry Christmas!

Chris's dad, Julius, isn't really feeling Christmas, thanks to his lack of a Christmas bonus. Much to his wife Rochelle's dismay, he elects to celebrate Kwanzaa, a giftless holiday that will make it easy on him and his pocketbook. And so the Family Rock are husking corn and giving cans of beets to their friends.

Chris finds out Kill Moves' wish is to give his mom a gift. Chris goes into Kill Moves' box, which actually looks like a studio on the inside, and finds a briefcase with cash in it. Chris is surprised about the money and uses it to help Kill Moves buy his mom gifts. Kill Moves looks pretty old, so I'm thinking his mom is going to be a 90-year-old living in a third-floor apartment in Bed-Stuy. Instead, his mom is Phylicia Rashad, who looks a lot like Lena Horne, and she lives in upper East Manhattan. She's a socialite and he's...well, he's Kill Moves. Chris helps him bring his mom a Rolex watch and a box of chocolate turtles. She puts the Rolex to the side and yums over the chocolates. While she speaks with Chris, Kill Moves plays classical music on the piano.

As Chris and Kill Moves get ready to leave - Kill Moves says he has to get back else someone will move into his box - Phylicia Rashad hands her son another briefcase and thanks Chris for being her son's friend. Chris discovers that amid all the commercialism, a friend is a rare gift on Christmas. On the subway ride home, Kill Moves opens his briefcase, which is full of cash. He offers it to Chris, who declines. Instead, Chris takes the second gift offered, a holiday card. As Chris nears his home, he's mugged for a buck by that same guy who always robs him. Chris doesn't have a dollar so he gives him the Christmas card instead. DOH! It had $2,000 in it!!! Oh, Chris! Cue that catchy theme: Everybody haaaaates Chris!

Happy Kwanzaa, everybody!