Friday Night Lights: There Goes The Neighborhood (Episode 210)

A force of nature ripped through Dillon this week, leading to pounding hearts, emotional outbursts, tumult and chaos. That's right, Tim Riggins moved in with the Taylors. Oh, yeah, and there was also a tornado.

"LET'S GET OFF THE FIELD, BOYS; THESE LADIES WANT THEIR DANCE FLOOR" -- One thing I love about Friday Night Lights is that they get their scene-setting drama out of the way early. Most shows (I'm looking at you, Desperate Housewives) save their big-ass drama for the last minutes of an episode, building up to it, then leave the aftermath as a cliffhanger. Not my darling FNL, though. We got the tornado out of the way before the opening credits! The same was true last season when that chemical spill led to the semi-final being played in a cow pasture (and, apparently, the addition of a certain little Bug to the Taylor family). On One Tree Hill, that shit would have taken an entire episode and we'd have faded to black wondering if Lucas and Mouth were still tied to the railroad tracks with Dan leaning over them, twirling his moustache. Anyway…the tornado's aftermath weaves through several storylines tonight, so bear with me while I try to sift through the debris.

The tornado only clips Dillon, taking out cable TV service and shattering all the windows in the Piggly Wiggly (where Tim protects Julie from flying glass with the bulk of his beautifully toned fullback-sized body -- more on that in a bit), but it levels half of upcoming rival Laribee's high school. As a favor to the principal, Coach T allows the entire Laribee team, including Coach Dickish, to take up residence at Dillon High, where they share the showers, the practice fields and the weight room with our boys. This goes about as well as you might expect when you put Lions and Panthers in the same cage -- there's feather-ruffling, male posturing, dick-measuring and, eventually, actual honest-to-god territorial pissing in corners. The Lions reward Dillon's hospitality by breaking into the Panthers' lockers and destroying their personal property, but when the Panthers retaliate, Coach T puts a stop to it and makes them clean up. Tensions increase as the Laribee QB1, A Douchebag Named Chip, puts the moves on Trouble, who he calls an unnamed goddess. Good Lord, the girls in Laribee must be pretty dumb if lines like that ever gets him anywhere. Landry's not amused, and his frustration comes to a boil in the school cafeteria, especially once he figures out that after turning him down, Trouble's apparently going to the fall formal with A Douchebag Named Chip. First, Landry verbally smacks down Tim when he good-naturedly pokes fun at Trouble, saying, "Her only problem is too many guys, too little time." Then Landry jumps all over A Douchebag Named Chip and starts what will probably go down as the biggest food fight in Dillon history. Punches (and mashed potatoes!) are thrown, a $300 ice cream machine gets destroyed, and even Trouble gets in on the act, tossing a Lion into a wall with a firm grip in his white boy 'fro. Oh, on a sidenote, can I mention that I loved seeing Santiago sitting between Smash and Tim at the lunch table? He's one of the boys now! *sniff* Coach Dickish has a "boys will be boys" attitude about his team of fucktards, but Coach T continues to take a hard line, sentencing his boys to run the bleachers -- each lap earns them credit toward buying the caf a new ice cream machine. It all comes to a head, though, over the demise of Tim's shirt. The Panthers come into a locker room reeking of urine, and in his locker, Tim finds that a Lion has relieved himself on his favorite shirt, practically his only shirt. Oh, no! Not The Shirt! You know the one I mean, the faded brown and blue plaid western-styled one with the snaps that he's been wearing since, well, since we've known him.

I may have occasionally (especially last season, before he started wearing his Muscle Shirt of *Thud*) pined for Tim to wear something else, anything else, but I would never have wished The Shirt such an ignominious death -- Laribee Lion piss is an awful way to go. Rest in peace, western plaid! Rest in peace! Understandably perturbed, Tim heads into the Lions den, where, again, Coach Dickish tries to brush off the offense, even after one of the Lions admits he did it. Tim jumps the Lion, then Coach Dickish jumps Tim and throws him on the ground, and then WHAM, like an avenging angel falling straight out of Heaven and into the Dillon High locker room, Coach T rushes in, slams Coach Dickish up against the wall and threatens the ever-living shit out of him, both professionally and personally. It's gorgeous, it's wonderful, and frankly, it's about damn time. I have always appreciated how much Eric has done to stand in as a father figure for Matt and for Smash, and I've always wondered why he never seemed willing to do the same for Tim. Lord knows if anyone needs a paternal pat now and then, it's Tim Riggins, which makes what comes later even more terrible, and sad, but we're not quite there yet; stay with me, folks. Coach Dickish finally seems to get it, and nods. Nothing like getting the fear of God browbeat into you! Since I saw the preview for next week's show we know the Panthers play the Lions next Friday, I'm sure there's more drama to come.

"ME AND TYRA, WE HAVE KIND OF A BEAUTIFUL…UM…LIKE, A THING" -- Now that the Massive Fuckup is finally over (hip, hip hooray!), Landry's ready to settle down, or at least hold hands in public, with Trouble, but she fends him off with one excuse after another. Is she still trying to toe the line Coppa Clarke laid down? Is she really shallow enough to care that Landry's not exactly in the running for Babe Of The Year? Or is it really a self-esteem issue, as Landry suggests later. Fueled by liquid courage after a game of Quarters with Julie Taylor (!!!), Landry finally confronts Trouble at the dance (the formal she's attending with A Douchebag Named Chip, who leaves her sitting by herself on the gym bleachers while he pukes in the boys' room). Landry once again presses her to acknowledge him, and what they've had together. She tells him he makes her feel too much, and it freaks her out. He calls bullshit, saying he knows she's better than this, better than sitting there alone because her date can't stay sober, but that she doesn't seem to know it. He says he's done and walks away, leaving Trouble behind, watching him with sad eyes. Damn, girl. You may find prettier, but you'll never find better than Landry Clarke. I do think it's ironic that Landry had to liquor up a little to get the guts to come talk to Trouble; in Dillon, even the good kids drink.

"BUDDY, YOU COULD SELL A PIG TO A PRIEST" -- Tucked in among Crips and Bloods rivalry and teen drama, there's a little story about lost love. Pam Garrity comes to Lyla and tells her that Crunchy Granola has proposed, and that they're getting married. The camera rests on Lyla's face as she absorbs that blow and struggles to respond appropriately. Minka Kelly does a great, great job; her reaction's subtle and heartfelt, and you can see every emotion as it crosses her face. *sniff* Buddy doesn't take the news at all well. He and Eric have a conversation at the laundromat (oh, show, I love you sooo much!) about what Buddy ought to do about that. Remember that great scene in Ocean's 11 when Danny has an entire conversation with himself while Rusty watches TV? It's kind of like that. Buddy does all the talking and talks himself right into going over to Pam's to try to "sell" her on taking him back, saying "I'm gonna get my wife back, by God." Um, yeah, it doesn't go so well. Pam hears him out, kisses him goodbye, tells him she's sorry, then closes the door in his face. Ouch. I feel pretty bad for Buddy, who made the mussed up bed he's now lying in, but that's all kind of pushed to the side to make room for the welling of love and sympathy for Tim that comes crashing in during the last three minutes of the episode. We get our dramatic build-up and cliffhanger after all, but it's emotional, not a prosaic set piece, and, as usual, it packs a tremendous punch.

"IT'S LIKE PUTTING A CAN OF GASOLINE NEXT TO A LIT MATCH" -- The tornado's got nothing on the addition of Tim Riggins to the Taylor household. You can tell he's thriving in a real home environment, with home-cooked meals, people to keep him company, and females fussing over him. I can die happy now that I've seen Tim play with Bug -- I've been hoping for that ever since I first heard a rumor that he'd end up staying with the Taylors, and it's possible there was squealing and heart-clutching at my house when I first saw him lift Bug over his head. I had thought he might Baby Whisper her out of colic or something, but murmuring sweetly while he plays airplane with her works just as well. Big Man + Cute Baby = Many Melted Hearts. Julie, red-blooded girl that she is, seems to appreciate Tim's finer attributes in an almost clinical way. That is, I'm not getting any overt crushy vibes off her interactions with him; not compared, to, say, Lois, who wants to know what Tim smelled like while he was holding Julie, protecting her from the tornado. Aunt Shelly, or "Shels" as Tim calls her, engages in mild flirtation with him, which he responds to in kind; again, nothing serious, nothing to worry about. "He's jailbait; we stay away," she reminds herself (and Bug!). It's all good, you know? Even Eric seems to enjoy having Tim around. "It evens up the gender team," he tells Tami when she asks how long Tim's staying. He's sort of like a son Eric never had, a big brother for Julie, a hot cousin for Shelly. Now, it's true he's not entirely house-broken: he fixes the cable, but then tunes it to porn. He tries to drink beer from the fridge and offers Shelly fifty bucks to finish his essay. He and Eric wake Tami up at 5 AM playing ping-pong in the now ubiquitous boxer shorts (best scene ever! wish we'd seen more of them it!) and he does sexy sit-ups in full view of impressionable women. But he's trying.

Tami, who seems to be leaching her sense of humor out with her breast milk, takes Shelly to task for what really does seem to be harmless flirtation, and the argument gets all bent out of shape as they rehash old disagreements over how Shelly doesn't want to grow up. Shelly calls her on it, which, good for her. She reminds Tami that Tami trusts her with her two-month-old daughter; she even took Bug in for her check-up with the pediatrician. Tami looks chagrined, as well she should. I still cut Tami a lot of slack, though. If Bug is only two months' old, Tami's still recuping from the birth, and now she's back at work, has a teenager in the stages of violent rebellion, a husband in a mid-life crisis, and the sexiest, jailbaitiest, woobiest boy in the history of ever living under her roof. That's a lot of shit to carry around!

Okay, I've put it off as long as I can. This time, I saved the worst for last. It comes right at the end of the episode, and it turns all the buttery goodness in my mouth about Tim and the Taylors to dust. What started off as a game of Quarters at a party with Landry dissolves into sloppy drunkenness for Julie. Some gropy little pipsqueak named Riley decides she's just about drunk enough for him to get some action, and when Tim comes into the room, mid-swallow from his own drink, Riley's all over an obviously intoxicated Julie, who's slurring her words and waaaaay too relaxed on a couch. Tim gets Riley away from her and after hearing Riley say that he thinks he's "one beer away from getting laid," Tim tells him very quietly, very seriously, that if he even looks at Julie again, ever, tonight or ever, he will end him. Riley takes one look at his face and just about swallows his tongue. He agrees that it would be in his best interest to find some other drunk girl to molest, and starts back into the party, but Tim stops him and points him toward the door. Awwwww! That's the Tim I love! Funny and dangerous and sexy as the day is long. Take me now, Tim!

Tim takes his big bro protective thing one step further, getting Julie safely home and in bed. You can see where this is going, right? He takes off her shoes, reassuring her that he knows how she feels. When she complains about the room spinning, he tells her to keep her eyes open. He goes to move her more securely on the bed -- remember, he's had lots of practice putting drunk people to bed -- and as he lifts her, she wraps her arms around him and doesn't seem to want to let go of him. As he's telling her to let go…Eric walks in. Tim can't even get a word in. Eric is furious, and tells him with his teeth clenched and his hair standing straight up on indignant end to get his things and leave. Right. Now. RIGHT. NOW. Oh, man, y'all, it's so painful I hate to even type it. Tim tries to say, "It's not even close to what you think," but Eric can't hear him...won't hear him. I know, I know, Tim's been in the wrong plenty of times; he doesn't have a lot of social currency banked, but he'd found something good, and he was trying so hard to do right by Julie, by all of them, and it breaks my heart to see him lose it all again so quickly over a misunderstanding. Julie's too drunk to help, though I hear her making whimpering noises in the background. My hope is that she'll remember enough to be able to stand up for Tim and explain to her dad what happened. Also? I'm not entirely sure she wasn't going to plant one on Tim while she had him right there, and I can't say I blame her. He's a tasty morsel, and he'd saved her from the tornado, protected her, helped her out, been sweet to her…hell, I'd have kept my arms around him, too. But whether or not Julie would have made a pass (which I think Tim would have deflected easily -- I don't think he's interested in her at all), the damage is sorely done. The episode ends with Tim back in his truck (the only constant in his life right now) with his sad little duffle -- short one shirt -- beside him. I think my Ever-Patient Mister spoke for all of us when he sighed and said, "Poor Timmy."

Note: Thanks, Meg, for filling in for me last ep! You rock!