The Simpsons - "Love Springfield Style" (Episode 1912)

Hey, remember the Simpsons? Well, after what seems like an eternity, they're back! It's the Valentine's Day episode, which is almost perfectly timed - for once! Love is in the air in Springfield. Chief Wiggum gives his wife flowers, Smithers gives Mr. Burns one of those awful, chalky hearts that says "Sweet on You." Burns returns the favor with a candy that says "Release the Hounds." Homer even surprised Marge with a romantic day...at the carnival. At least it will give them 2 kid-free hours, just like when they lost the kids at the mall ("That was the best Christmas ever.")

Homer takes Marge on the Tunnel of Love (I've never seen one of those. Ever. Anyone?) and they make out, in between being vaguely scared and giggling at their fear. Bart wants to prank his parents and finds a keg of Jell-o by the candy apple stand. He pours it into the ride's water, efectively shutting it down, with Homer and Marge stranded inside. Homer entertains Marge by telling her the greatest love stories of all time, the first is the tale of Bonnie and Clyde. Of course, Homer and Marge play the leads in this tale. Clyde, the local "bad boy" impresses Bonnie by knocking over a feed store. He broke into a gun store, stole a gun and robbed the store (which was his father's) - all of this impressed Bonnie, and the pair took off for a life of crime. Bonnie can only get turned on by violence, so when their kissing gets dull, Homer shoots down a biplane with a tommy gun. They rob a bank and hop into Flanders' car to make their getaway. Newsreel footage shows that Bonnie and Clyde have become folk heroes with souvenirs and even their own radio show (voiced by George Burns and Gracie Allen). Flanders discovered that he's become an unwitting accomplice to a pair of outlaws, but doesn't decide to turn them in until he learns that they're not married. He tells Sheriff Wiggum how they can take down Bonnie and Clyde, but the Sheriff needs to watch the "racially insensitive cartoon" first  - "Tijuana Trouble", starring Robby Robin.

Flanders sets up Bonnie and Clyde by pretending the car runs out of gas and then high-tails it over to the waiting sheriff. They shoot up the car, with Bonnie and Clyde inside. As they are being riddled with bullets, Clyde asks Bonnie to marry him. She refuses, saying she was looking for a little more excitement and that they should see other people and hits on the sheriff. The story wraps up with the sheriff shooting at the birds who were pecking at the dead bodies of Bonnie and Clyde. Marge is less than impressed with the story. Bart and Lisa trudge through the Jell-o and want to hear a more family-friendly tale. It's Marge's turn.

Marge's story is about 2 dogs who had such a strong love that no hose could separate them - "Shady and the Vamp." Of course, Homer and Marge are again playing the leading roles. Homer is the mutt, Shady and Marge is the pedigreed pooch, Vamp. Shady's dog pal Moe said he could never atract a classy pooch, he said that even the fleas had more class then him - they did, they were having a tea party on canine Marge's head. Shady woos Vamp with a bouquet of flowers taken from the garden and a bone. He doesn't get very far - the kids flee out of the house and Shady's repeatedly hit by the front gate. Vamp comes to his aid and consents to have dinner with him. The pair hit Luigi's Restaurant, where Luigi treats the dogs to a bowl of chianti and some spaghetti. He serenades them with his accordion and the pasta eating is runied when Shady over-slurps his noodles and inhales Vamp's entire head. Luigi tells them to leave, the health inspector was coming. Luigi was also entertaining a menagerie of critters behind his restaurant. Vamp said she had an exciting time with Shady and that she was in heat ("is that the safe time?" Shady said of course it was.) Vamp wakes up the next morning and isn't feeling too well. Shady takes his cue and takes off, faking the sounds of a fox hunt. Vamp returns home and waits for Shady. For weeks. Vamp waits by the window, singing a song with the 2 cats (Selma and Marge) Homer sings as well with his doggie pals - he got Vamp a collar with a heart-shaped charm that says "I love you". Vamp has her puppies, who look just like Maggie and Bart. They find a discarded picture of Shady and head out to find their father. Shady hides from his kids, and they get picked up by Willie, the dogcatcher. Shady realizes that he needs to save his kids and heads off to the pound. A Goofy-esque character even gets taken in and is put to sleep, despite his verbal pleas. Willie feeds the puppies their last meal, and is surprised when Shady emerges from the bag and attacks him. Shady takes the kids home and releases faux-Goofy before he meets his demise. Vamp was happy to see Shady and they became a family, along with Vamp's 9 other puppies. Awww.

Bart has a story he wants to share about musicians from a simpler time - "of the Brady Bunch, of Donny and Marie" and...the Sex Pistols. Bart plays Johnny Rotten, spitting apple juice on the crowd. Lisa plays Nancy, a spelling bee champion who crossed the pond to study at the University of London, with Milhouse in tow. She hears the music and is immediately drawn to Sid "Nelson" Vicious. She meets up with Otto, a dealer...of chocolates. Milhouse says Nancy would never get mixed up in chocolate, because that's what musicians would do. The band hangs out at the Boiled Potato pub and attack Ralph Wiggum, dressed to the nines and jamming to the Bay City Rollers. Nancy enters and offers chocolate to Sid. He tries some and shares it with Nancy. This first taste, of course, leads to an absolute addiction - chocolate powder cut into lines...and poured into milk. Chocolate burned in a spoon...and dumped on ice cream. The band gets a gig in San Antonio, Texas. Sid shows up trashed on chocolate. The band failed and were booed off the stage. Backstage, Johnny is pissed about the gig and Nancy tells them that Sid's going solo and she's writing all of his new songs. She converts him into a letterman sweater-wearing square, singing a tune called "Love is the Elixir" with her, which doesn't work for the punk crowd and gets them booted from CBGB - Comic Book Guy's Bar. They kiss against a dumpster, just like in the iconic scene from "Sid and Nancy" with the addition of Homer dumping the trash from above and telling us to have a happy Valentine's Day and shut our gobs!