Torchwood: Adam (Episode 205)

All human record is a lie. You twist it into what you want to believe.

Before we begin, we get the usual speech about Torchwood being ready, etc., and so on, but with the addition of a new member of the team. It’s some ginger haired rodent-like guy. Kudos for trying to do to the audience what the title character of this episode does to Team Torchwood.

We begin with a symbolic scene showing how happy the Gwen/Rhys relationship is. Now that he knows about Torchwood, the two of them are giggling like two teenagers sniffing laughing gas on this fine morning. This is a complete turn around from last season, with all the lies and screwing Owen that went on. Although, as much as Gwen/Rhys has grown, for Rhys in particularly, other things have taken a step back.

At the Hub, it’s immediately evident that something’s wrong as Jack gives assignments to his team. See if you can spot it.

Yet another thing is off.

Oh yeah, and as Gwen says when she arrives:

New ginger-boy that they attempted to retcon into the beginning is named Adam and he has an extremely weird power. If he touches you and says “Remember,” you do. I wish he’d touch Ianto and say “You’re Spy’s fictional Welsh boyfriend, remember?”

Once Gwen’s had memories of “Adam Smith” inputted into her brain, she now believes that ginger-boy’s been there for three years, even though he’s trying to surreptitiously create a personnel file.

Although, considering how quickly he gets caught by Tosh, he’s totally passed the Team Torchwood test for having no ability to be stealthy. He does, however, distract her curiousity about a strange artifact by convincing her they’ve been a couple for over a year. Considering her luck with significant others, this may not have been the best idea.

Owen walks in on the couple kissing and starts stuttering about the being surprised about kissing at work. Oh my heavens, Owen’s memory has been altered so much that he’s forgotten that kissing in the Hub is almost a requirement!

Jack’s down in the cells, and Janet the Weevil hisses at him. I guess she’s the one female in the universe completely impervious to Jack’s charms. In the cell next to Janet is a little boy, making me think the following question is, in fact, the overriding theme of this episode.

Gwen distracts him and he chases her out of the cells, laughing like he too has been sucking back laughing gas. After last week, I was so hoping that would be the end of Jack/Gwen, but now, in yet another Catherine Tregenna episode, it’s definitely not the last we’re going to see of it.

Back upstairs, in an extremely painful moment, Owen gives Tosh a screen cleaner in the shape of a small rodent. She says she’ll call it “Owen” and Gwen comments how the besotted Owen (not the rodent one, but how can you tell) is like a puppy bringing his owner sticks. It’s a nice role-reversal considering Tosh’s major character trait previously has been idolizing Owen. I would enjoy it more but I’m not one for watching characters make fools over themselves while being smitten with another.

Gwen’s home, but something is off in the apartment, and she completely freaks out when Rhys suddenly grabs her. She holds a knife on him, claiming not to know who he is. She calls Jack in a panic creaming about the nutter in her flat. Now holding her gun on him, they wait for Jack to arrive. Considering how normal Rhys was acting, it’s pitiful that Gwen’s forgotten him.

In what will be one massive flub I’ll point out later, Jack and Adam arrive, and both try to explain to Gwen that Rhys is, in fact, her fiancé, and not some weird guy who doesn’t often wear pants. While Adam takes Gwen back to Torchwood (and she leaves threatening to kill Rhys) to be checked out and Jack stays with Rhys to reassure him, I just have to say that Eve Myles and Kai Owen totally bring it in this scene. Gwen’s confused and terrified at the same time, and Rhys’s face runs the gamut from hurt to anger to confusion to concern not only about Gwen but the state of his relationship.

What’s sad, is that even though Gwen’s acting like she’s lost it, and Rhys questions who Adam is, Jack doesn’t cotton on that something’s wrong with Torchwood’s ginger team member.

Owen doesn’t find anything wrong with her. This is where Owen doesn’t have the advantage of knowing meta-diseases like I do. Gwen is suffering from Catherine Tregenna-itis.

Oh Rhys, even when you’re desperate to have your fiancée to remember your relationship, you still can’t remember to put on pants! To be honest, Rhys’s confessions to Gwen (via broadcast, since Gwen did threaten to kill him and all, and, well, Rhys has already died and yet he doesn’t have Jack’s resurrection abilities) is downright pitiful. He’s clearly more besotted with Gwen than she is with him. Kindly, he retells the story of meeting her (at college), his nickname (“Rhys the rant,” although I think “Rhys needs pants” would be more appropriate) and their first kiss in a shop queue. I can’t help but think that Rhys, in real life, would be one hell of a catch. (My best friend, the one who is still annoyed that now her bookmarks are full of Torchwood porn, says, “He does dishes! He tries! He buys you ice cream! He doesn’t wear pants! I want a relationship like that! Where do I buy one?”)

Gwen, though she has a vague memory of what he’s talking about, can’t remember any of the emotion. I’m a little pissed that Adam just doesn’t do his “remember” trick to fix this.

Tosh and Owen are still puzzling over the odd wooden box, which is only when Owen isn’t focused on Tosh’s humongous boobs.

For our next cringe worthy moment, we get a harkening back to last week when Tosh brought Owen sandwiches as a sign of affection. This week, it’s Owen who brings the smoked salmon (Tosh’s favourite). Usually, I would like little continuity moments like this except I don’t like continuity moments that are accompanied by an anvil falling on my head because clearly writer thought the audience was too stupid to pick up on something more subtle.

Oh yes, and just like Owen last week, when Owen didn’t appreciate the culinary gift, Tosh takes off.

Back at Gwen and Rhys’s apartment, Ianto’s brought a tentative Gwen home. She begs not to be left alone with her fiancé. It’s so awkward and my best friend assures me that if Gwen doesn’t start treating Rhys better, she’s going to take possession of him for his own good. (How very altruistic of her. He doesn’t need to bring his pants.)

Outside, Ianto’s all enthusiastic that he might get a chance to Weevil hunt with Jack. Jack, on the other hand, is distracted when he sees another example of this week’s predominant theme.

Thus Jack chooses to hunt alone.

At the Hub, Tosh brings Owen a drink and then waxes poetical about how wonderful her relationship with Adam is. Nice. All the sensitivity of our regular Owen with 400% more boobs.

As for Jack, he’s in the sewers (literally, not mentally this time), he is immediate distracted from the hunt by yet another example of this week’s theme, telling him to “get out.”

“Dad?” Jack asks. Well, that’s one question answered. He rushes out of the sewers and runs into Adam.

Back at the apartment, (and seriously, what is with the quick edits interrupting the lovely flow of the scenes?) Rhys is trying to remind Gwen about their life together. She’s not buying that it’s possible to forget she was in love with him, which is just so many levels of meaning there, that I applaud Eve Myles for playing it so well. I’m thinking that Adam didn’t mess with her subconscious, just her memory.

We cut back to Jack and Adam, and I wish we hadn’t left it in the first place. We finally get some Jack backstory. He tells Adam (again, with the remember trick, convinces Jack that he’s the one to confide in) the story of how he lost his little brother in the invasion of his home planet. While running away from the most horrible creature imaginable, he let go of his little brother, Gray’s, hand and lost him forever. Gray is the little boy he keeps seeing. Also, his father, absurdly named Franklin (I’m figuring by the 51st century, they might have a few new names) dies in the invasion.

There’s been a great deal of debate as to what creatures invaded. Were they the Daleks? Where they the Cybermen? Were they Tribbles? No, in fact, I’m solving this debate once and for all. I’ve seen the Boeshane Peninsula before. In fact, it’s the second time this season that the Whoniverse has crossed over with another major fandom. Take a closer look at Jack’s homeland and tell me I’m wrong.

Clearly, the Empire struck back. I don’t care what they eventually tell us it was, I’m not giving up this theory. Jack was born and raised on Tatooine.

Unfortunately, while we find out about Gray and Franklin, at no point does anyone says Jack’s real name. What a let-down!

In the only decent thing Adam does this whole episode, he tells Jack what happened to Gray wasn’t his fault.

We unceremoniously switch back to the Hub and I wish these scenes were more coherently edited together. I’m getting rather frustrated as I was sure the whole Jack’s mother crying over Franklin thing was part of the previous set. Unless it’s some sort of meta-thing where they’re screwing with my memory too, it’s just annoying.

Ianto, Tosh and Owen are debating over where the wooden box came from, and Ianto heads off to check his diary. Now, that’s something I would really like close ups of to find out what my fictional Welsh boyfriend does on a day to day basis.

Now, if retcon’s being passed around, could I have some for this scene? The pain and agony of watching Owen, confess his deep and abiding love for Tosh (and thus becoming the inspiration for 23095243 fanfics) isn’t worth it. Watching the usually gentle Tosh shoot him down, hurts my heart. Seriously, it’s disconcerting watching Tosh be Owen.

Usually, I would expect to flip from Owen and tosh to Ianto reading his diary but no, we flip to Gwen and Rhys in a shop. She wants to be alone but Rhys won’t let her, not because he’s creepy, but because he’s concerned. His fiancée just lost the memory of him, imagine if she suddenly lost the memory of basic road sense? What happens if she forgot to put on pants? Oh wait, he wouldn’t be the best person around for that, even though he did mange to stay clothed for the entire time he’s out of the apartment.

As he’s about to pay, the clerk wanders off, thus Rhys launches into the rant: “It’s not just you who’s lost something… You’re my girl, my best friend, suddenly all that’s gone. Where’s he going now? He just walked off! He knows I’m waiting! Oh fine, I’ll help myself then! Here you are; keep the change. Buy some spot cream!”

For all my trashing of Catherine Tregenna, if there’s one character she truly gets, it’s Rhys. That rant in the queue, nicely reflecting Rhys’s earlier story about their first kiss, helps Gwen remember “Rhys the rant” not “Rhys needs pants" and in the sweetest moment of this whole episode, she clutches onto him, remembering.

Finally, we see Ianto with the diary. Although I’m sure it’s full of things that even post-watershed might have issues with, one thing it doesn’t have in it, is Adam.

Confronting Adam, I’m proud that Ianto’s the one who gets to figure out the mystery. Unfortunately, when it comes to the difference of memory (Adam) versus the truth (the diary), initially, memory initially wins out. Like the written word, sometimes overly emotional reactions, such as someone filling your mind with memories of being a serial killer, defeats the logical truth. In other words, Adam is retcon, in human form.

Even though Adam flickers a bit when Ianto suggests he’s a man that doesn’t exist, he enjoys torturing my fictional Welsh boyfriend, by giving him the memories of brutally killing three women (with Adam there, helping to dispose of the bodies). I’m wondering if it’s possible to literally crawl through a TV screen to save him. Either that, or just adjust my memory of this episode to have Jack arrive right now and dispose of Adam. In fact, once I’m done this recap, that’s exactly what I’m going to choose to do because if Adam proved anything, memory is subjective, as he now says in the quote that began the recap. Therefore, if I ever read this recap again, I'll assume it's a lie.

Thus, Ianto, poor Ianto, who lost Lisa , lost Jack through death and then the TARDIS, is now stuck with the memories of doing serious harm to innocent people. For me, I‘m going to be happy to remember the episode the way I plan to as I never want to remember the image of Ianto, crying in agony in the rain.

Now that scene that I thought was earlier, the one with Jack remembering his mom weeping over Franklin, and demanding to know where Gray is, finally happens. I’m actually a little annoyed by it, as you’d think the mother would be grateful that one of her sons is unharmed. A little “I’m happy you’re okay,” would suffice. Jack doesn’t understand why everything’s happening now. I’m wondering why Jack, who is usually quicker on the uptake, hasn’t put it all together yet.

About to go to bed, Gwen and Rhys reconnect, after he kisses her. In reality, Adam gave them a gift; they got to have a first kiss for the second time.

We go from a sweet reunion to Tosh and Adam getting it on. I’m totally smirking as we all know what happens to people Tosh have sex with. He asks if she’d die for him. We all know that for those with Tosh, it’s the other way around.

Okay, just before I retcon myself into the new ending, I would like to express my appreciation for this next scene. As soon as Jack comes back from the Hub, Ianto begs to be put into the vault, and eventually confesses, “I’m a monster,” a line that’s been burned into my brain from the 10947137 times I’ve seen it on various promos.

Jack has the same reaction I would if Ianto suddenly confessed to being a serial killer. Jack doesn’t believe him. The man couldn’t let his cyber-girlfriend go. This isn’t a man who is going to kill random people. As much as he tries to pretend he’s as tough as the rest of the team, he isn’t. Essentially, he’s as scarred, but he isn’t as tough.

No matter what detail Ianto provides,no matter what indications the alien lie detector gives that Ianto’s telling the truth, Jack refuses to believe it. In the middle of a Catherine Tregenna episode, we get a little bit of Janto but also we get Jack’s true feelings for him. I don’t mean that way, because if it was that way, I wouldn’t have finished this recap as I would’ve exploded from the fangirly goodness. No, what he shows is that, despite everything, Jack ultimately has faith in Ianto. Even when Ianto believes it to be the truth, what unravels Adam’s master plan, is that Jack will not believe that Ianto is evil.

Going through the CCTV, Jack finds Adam’s remember trick. Almost like leading a child afraid of the dark, Jack pulls Ianto to the screen, to see that the monster in the dark isn’t him; the monster is Adam.

Between the lack of Adam’s blood, the CCTV and the file that was updated only 24 hours previously, oh yeah, and Gwen totally forgetting Rhys Jack finally puts it all together. This realization brings Ianto around, and now the pair is going to work together to bring Adam down.

That is, until they’re interrupted by geeky!Owen who has brought flowers for Tosh. Jack finally sees that Owen isn’t the same person either, and on cue, Adam and Tosh arrive. Owen apologizes for his completely inappropriate outburst from before, while Jack watches. Like much of this episode, the tone of this scene doesn’t match that of the scene with Jack and Ianto. If it’s supposed to be comic relief, it’s a fail. If it’s supposed to be suspenseful, it also fails. The lightness of Gwen’s arrival totally seems out of place. In fact, I’m wondering what the heck this is supposed to accomplish except for getting all the members of Torchwood into the Hub in the most awkward way imaginable.

As for whatever happens to Adam next, after he snarks he could “murder a coffee” at Ianto, whatever Jack does to him is too good.

The team flips out as Jack holds the gun on Adam. As for Adam, he can’t pull his remember trick because Jack won’t let him touch him. There are a million jokes in there about Jack not letting someone touch him, but there’s only so much space in this recap.

Jack admits he feels nothing for Adam, no pride, no affection, just scorn for making him remember the worst day of his life. He even admits he was wrong not to have spotted Adam’s shenanigans when Gwen forgot Rhys.

In fact, the only one who acts truly in character is Tosh as she threatens to shoot Jack to stop him from taking Adam away. Despite trying to adjust her memories to give her a year of happiness with him, Adam could remove the emotional scars from her last two relationships. In fact, I completely buy that Tosh would react this way the next time she thought she could prevent losing someone she believes she loves. This is not a problem that awesome boobs and a better wardrobe can fix.

Ianto manages to wrestle the gun away from her and I’m so proud at how quickly he managed to recover from his mental trauma. The problem is that re-watching this episode, I’m totally distracted by something else.

Down in the cells, Adam justifies his actions by saying that being part of the memory is the only way for him to survive. There’s a philosophical debate. If someone isn’t remembered, by anyone, do they truly exist?

Adam claims Owen is happier, Tosh is more confident, Jack remembers himself, but neglects to mention that Gwen’s relationship is euchred and Ianto practically had a nervous breakdown. I would’ve liked it better if he’d only done the first three. I prefer my Torchwood to be morally ambiguous.

As for Adam, he needed the unique memories of Team Torchwood, Jack’s in particular, to live. He’s confident that he can’t be killed, because as long as he’s remembered, he’s alive. Ladies and gentleman, I think we just got a glimpse into what Russell T. Davies thinks is the closest thing to an afterlife.

Upstairs in the boardroom, we have what qualifies as the strangest scene in Torchwood history. Considering we have death by orgasm, resurrecting team members, a guy who swallowed an eye and Spike to pick from, that’s saying a lot. When trying to find a good descriptor, all I came up with was this: confession and communion with drugs.

Jack pleads with the team to remember themselves – one specific memory that defines them. After each team member makes a confession to Jack about their one defining memory, Jack gives them retcon. The confessions go like this:

Gwen: Her memory is Rhys. She loves him, but not like she loves Jack.
Owen: His mother is a superior bitch and tosses him out when he’s 16 and still needs to be saved. Jack promises he will.
Tosh: She was a mathlete and she’s still waiting for someone to think she’s special, like Jack does.
Ianto: Loving and losing Lisa but Jack gave him meaning again.

I do get a bit of an ironic laugh that Ianto, desperate to forget what Adam made him, practically bites his fingers off trying to swallow his pill. Tosh is the last one to take hers, not wanting to give up yet another relationship.

In the cells, Adam’s fading, as four out of five members of Team Torchwood have forgotten him. Now all that’s left is Jack, so Adam tries to make a deal. He’ll recover the happiest memory Jack has of Gray and his father. He even tries to make it seem like a favour, but really, Adam will do anything to stay out of the void. I perk up at the word, “void” because isn’t that where all the Daleks and Cybermen are right now?

We’re on the Boeshane Peninsula on Tatooine again, where Jack, his father and Gray are playing ball. When it’s hit too far, young Jack goes to pick it up, and meets a young Adam. Refusing to allow Adam to be forced into his memories, the Young Jack insists young Adam doesn’t belong. In punishment for Jack being so rude, his father sends him back up to the house, thus ruining the happy memory forever. Despite this, Jack insists this wasn’t how it happened. I’m pretty sure the random Star Wars quotes I’m MST3K-ing in my head didn’t happen either.

Jack’s dismayed that the memory’s been altered but now it’s threatened in a different way. Since Adam’s made himself a part of the memory, if Jack takes the retcon, he’ll lose the memory forever. Plus, there’s a strange implication that the memory never happened at all, it was just another one of Adam’s creations. So, essentially, all the memories we have of Jack and his family may or may not be true. Great, so we still know practically nothing about the man.

Jack pleads for the real memory, but Adam won’t give it unless he’s allowed to live. The wooden box that’s been hanging around for the whole episode holds the memory within it, but Jack can’t have it back without remembering Adam. For Jack, having the memory of his lost family tainted, is worse than not having the memory at all, so he takes the retcon, essentially wiping his family from his mind. Before he loses consciousness, we see Jack wandering through the desert of Tatooine the Boeshane Peninsula, calling out for his father and Gray.

While Jack’s memory of his family disappears, so does Adam.

Later, the entire team is completely baffled about what they’ve been doing for the past 48 hours. Tosh is back to being Tosh, all gaga over the flowers and Owen’s back to being a prat, denying he’d every buy them, or apologize for anything. Ianto’s even back to serving what I’m sure is perfectly brewed coffee. All is normal again, and even the evidence bag sitting on Jacks desk, labeled “Adam’s property” doesn’t give them any hints. It's our last moment of the "Who the hell is this?" theme of the week.

Of course, Jack isn’t looking for hints, as he’s far more distracted by the contents of Ianto’s diary. There’s something in there about measuring tapes not lying and I’m dying to know the context.

This is where the massive flub I mentioned earlier comes in. Who is the one person in Cardiff, who could help answer their questions? I’ll give you a hint: no pants.

The episode ends with Jack finally opening the wooden box. All that pours out of it is sand. Hmm, I think I’ve seen an episode of the old Twilight Zone that did exactly the same thing.