The L Word: Lesbians Gone Wild & Lay Down the Law (Episodes 57 and 58)

The L Word Cast

 I prefer to spin the lack of an episode recap last week into the benefit of you getting the continuity of having two episodes discussed in one post. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Lez Girls: It’s apparently become necessary to open each episode this season with a scene from or about Lez Girls. Last week, we’re privy to the onset filming of an Entertainment Tonight type show reporting on the movie. They’re just in time to see two of the actresses practically get into a cat fight over a scene. This week, we step back from Lez Girls to Nikki’s last movie, which is scheduled to open soon. She’s some kind of cat burglar, sex-kitten in a latex black jumpsuit. Yeah.

The last two weeks, we get to see the progression of Nikki’s path of destruction in regards to her career as every boy’s fantasy actress. Last week it was a Turkish Oil Wrestling match at Shebar, which turned out to be a disaster for everyone involved. Firstly, Adelle brought more of her machinations into play by encouraging Nikki to attend the wrestling match when she knew they were expecting her on set. Then, not only did Nikki get caught on tape, half-naked, wrestling an equally half-naked woman, but Kit grabbed her opportunity for revenge and called the cops to have the owners arrested for serving to a minor (Nikki is only 20). Only because one of the cops was a fan of Nikki’s did she avoid arrest herself.

This week, her agents are having conniptions over the rumors that she’s a lesbian and one of them, Kevin, goes to see Tina, spitting mad about it happening on her watch. He and Tina decide Nikki should be seen at her premiere with good looking dick. The lone actor in Lez Girls is chosen as the lucky guy.

Jenny is having a meeting with the costume girl, which basically revolves around her cooing over the dresses they’ve picked out. Tina interrupts to tell her that TPTB want to pull Nikki from the movie to save her career. She explains that as a last ditch effort to salvage things, Nikki won’t be taking Jenny to her premiere, but rather Tim, the actor. Jenny goes to Nikki’s trailer, where her little girl is sobbing her eyes out, and confronts Kevin and they have a pissing match over Nikki. I’m totally dumbfounded as to why Jenny hasn’t been punched in the face yet, I swear.

So, Nikki goes with her male escort to the premiere of her movie and we see Jenny and Adelle approaching the red carpet. Kevin bans Jenny from the building, so a security guard asks her to leave. Attaining instant snit status, Jenny sends Adelle inside to get Nikki to let them in. And this is the part I love with all my heart.

Adelle doesn’t come back out. Nope. After sashaying her way down the red carpet, even stopping to have her picture taken, she hangs out around Nikki and the paparazzi, occasionally texting Jenny that she just can’t get to Nikki and to hold on. Then, on the way out, Adelle whispers to Nikki that she should kiss her date, making sure they’re close enough to Jenny for her to get an eyeful. And no, I actually did not feel sorry for Jenny at all when Adelle rejoins her and she’s all teary and sniffly.

Shane, the Lothario: Last week it became pretty obvious that Shane and Molly (Phyllis’ daughter) are playing some king of cat and mouse game, or lesbian and straight girl, whichever.

It all starts when Bette, at the bequest of Phyllis in her attempt to show her daughter that Lesbian Are People Too, escorts Molly and Kit to the set of Lez Girls. When Bette goes off with Tina for some hanky panky, she leaves Shane to amuse Molly. Molly’s acting all bored and put upon, but there’s a spark of interest in this new world that she can’t hide.

After some bantering and virtual shoulder bumping, they’re all pulled into the drama of Nikki at the Shebar. While there, Molly decides to show them all she’s not afraid of no lesbians and lets herself be pulled into the wrestling ring (after Nikki leaves). Shane, of course, taking her responsibilities seriously, jumps in after her [to rescue].

This week, Jodi and Shane are riding their bikes in preparation for the breast cancer ride coming up and stop to rest on a bench. Conversation turns to Molly and Shane admits she sort of has something for her.  Jodi calls Molly a spaghetti girl; straight until wet, but Shane thinks she should take her to the theatre, like a nice date. Aw Shane. Courting your resistant lover. How sweet.  

So, Jodi prepares a really cool Moroccan dinner, inviting her ex and her new girlfriend, Tina and Sam (the photographer on set) and Shane and Molly.

Let’s cut over for a sec to Molly and Phyllis’s whispered discussion at The Planet. Molly has decided to take some time off from school. Needless to say, this doesn’t make mom happy. In a total bout of hypocrisy, Phyllis tells her that people who don’t get an education wind up in the service professions…like Shane. Molly gets up to leave, telling her mom that she’s going to go get gay for Shane, adopt Chinese babies and live in a trailer park.  I’m reserving judgment on Molly, but it just might work out between them. Over at the bar, Shane plays hard to get…as much as she can, and tells Molly to call her.

Now, fast forward to Jodi’s dinner party, where the undercurrents would sweep a whale away. Most of them started pre-party when Jodi told Bette about it. Bette’s reaction was something like “This is a disaster waiting to happen.” I loved it when Jodi told her not to come, then. Of course, Bette backs down, grumbling the whole time.

However, her words seem prophetic when dinner starts and Bette, Jodi and Jodi’s ex have a sign conversation and Tina gets bitchy about them being excluded. After dinner they almost get caught kissing after Bette telling her that was the most excruciating experience she’s had in awhile. I don’t like Bette anymore.

Meanwhile, Shane and Molly are having a private conversation on the side before finally just getting up and going outside to smoke and “talk” some more. Molly does some more ribbing, saying she knows Shane’s story and knows she wants to sleep with her. Shane ain’t no newbie to the game, though. She knows, and tell Molly, that she really doesn’t because Molly will just freak out if she puts a move on her and she doesn’t need that. Sure enough, Molly the Curious leans over, kisses Shane and then immediately wants to go home. Can Shane call ‘em or what?

Military Code of Conduct: This? This plotline is why I watch this show. Remember how pissed at Alice I was? Grrrr. Well, she redeemed herself this week. But I digress.

Last week, we’re introduced to Colonel Davis, who will be prosecuting Tasha. I remembered reading who was going to be playing Davis back before the season started, but once she actually came on camera, I couldn’t for the life of me remember who it was supposed to be. Kelly McGillis, y’all! I shit you not. And god, did she age badly. Anyway, last week set up the gruff, play by the rules Davis who seems to be a good enough person, but can’t seem to deviate from the letter of the military law.

In a side plot that just can’t go anywhere good, Alice has her audition appearance on The Look, a View type show with two other women. It’s quite clear about 30 seconds into this that they’ve only asked her on because they want more dish about gay celebrities who are supposed to be straight, ala Darrel. Thankfully, they didn’t revisit that this week.

So, Davis offers Tasha an honorable discharge via her defending attorney, Beech. She doesn’t realize Tasha is sitting in his office and he very clearly turns the offer down. I actually think he would have done that, even if Tasha hadn’t been around. So, it’s off to trial they go.

This week, Tasha encounters Davis again when they’re both in the gym boxing. I knew EXACTLY how this was going to wind up the minute they cut to the showers, where both Tasha AND Davis are checking out this nubile young cadet who’s strutting around in the nude. Oh, Davis, you sly dyke.

Next, we see Tasha putting the finishing touches on her dress uniform as she heads to trial. All participants, including Alice, file into the courthouse (or whatever the military equivalent is called). Alice’s fashion sense is sometimes just hilarious. Today she’s dressed like a World War II housewife, complete with coiffed hairdo, circa 1948. They leave Alice cooling her heels in a waiting room while the trial starts up.

Beech does his best to show how committed Tasha is to the military service. A female soldier is called to the stand and he questions her about an incident in which Tasha went to bat for her and requested she be assigned. The woman testified quite favorably for Williams, but when Davis got her claws in her, she finally cracked and admitted the special attention had made her uncomfortable.

When they break, Alice gets told they’re done for the day and she gets to come back at the same time tomorrow. I’d be pissed.

When Alice is called to the stand the next day, Davis lights in on her, attempting in her cross examination to back Alice in a corner. It was the age-old prosecuting trick of making the witness get so flustered they hang themselves or someone else. I’m sure we all know how Alice reacts when she’s cornered.

Our little girl comes out swinging, implying that possibly since Davis was “speaking” to her, she could be gay too. I’m pretty sure she started out just being snide and fighting back, but the look on Davis’ face makes it very clear that Alice has hit a nerve.

Davis calls for a recess, during which she tells Alice to relay to Tasha that all she has to do is play by the rules, answer succinctly and to the point during questioning and she’ll let her off. Personally, I’d rather see her outted, but I’m a vindictive bitch sometimes.

Alice tells Tasha and wishes her luck, leaving her to go in to testify on her own behalf. Everything goes as planned until Davis asks Tasha if she believes the Military code of conduct should be strictly adhered to. Tasha says she always has until now. That she doesn’t like seeing the person she loves grilled and questioned like a criminal, and when asked, says that person is Alice.  

And it really is just like a WWII movie ending when Tasha chases Alice down in the parking lot and kisses her in front of God and everybody, complete with swinging her off her feet.  *CHEERS*

I wonder if we’ll be seeing Davis any more?