American Idol: Season Seven Top 12 Results

When Fox repurposed "A Day in the Life" for a video package about the Idols attending the Horton Hears a Who premiere ("I saw a film today, oh boy"), it became abundantly clear to me why the Lennon/McCartney songbook had never been entrusted to their grubby hands before. I guess we're getting more of it next week? Good for the Idols, but let's hope the producers don't get some crazy idea to commercialize "I am the Walrus," or "Revolution 9."

Also: what's the point of this fancypants new stage if the contestants don't repel from the band level onto the stage for the medly number? Come on.

Now let's get to the bottom 3. The first person garnering that ignominious distinction is Syesha Mercado, who I find fakey mcfakesalot. She sings her song again, and again, it's kind of eh.

First Ford commercial! It's to Cake's "The Distance." Strange, but I dig.

Joining Syesha is...Kristy Lee Cook. It's so obvious that she demands her microphone to resing "8 Days a Week" before Ryan can build the suspense. She then apologizes for treating everyone to this acid country take on the tune again. Aww. This is the most likeable she's ever been.

We have a new feature on Idol this year...live viewer calls! Ugh. Anything to justify the HOUR RUN TIME to kick out one person.

The third member of our bottom three...David Hernandez. Dude. Acknowledge the stripping past, perform in some tear away pants, have Paula put a buck in your g-string, and you'll win America's respect back.

The first person sent back to safety is...Syesha. Sigh. Oh well.

The second is...Kristy. Aw. Bye Strippy David! I guess he won't have a chance to heed my advice. Back to Dick's Cabaret for David H. I'll miss him.