Help me out, you soulless bastardThe opening shot of this one is very neat, with Eli watching fish swimming above a mini Golden Gate Bridge in a huge fish tank. The fish tank belongs to Dr. Rajapaksa, the surgeon who'll be ripping that vision-producing aneurysm out of Eli's pretty head. The good doctor says that everything looks good, so they can go ahead in and do it. He also says that Eli seems nervous. Eli: "Why would I be nervous? It's not like we're talking about going into my skull with sharp instruments with a high likelihood that I'll lose the ability to speak. That's if I don't lose the ability to, you know, live." A much overlooked ability, I suppose. Dr. Rajapaska tells Eli to get his affairs in order, specifically creating a living will to express his wishes if he can't do so himself. Preferably as some sort of musical number.
Eli flags a cab outside and, in the midst of nerding around with his Blackberry, slides right into a vision. A younger dude's driving, talking to "Macaroni" on the phone about crossing the Golden Gate Bridge. Eli's oblivious, shouting the address he wants, until he looks up and realizes: "Oh, great. A vision." Like, oh, great. Dookie. The car's full of suitcases and junk, including Eli in the back. The driver says one last goodbye to Macaroni as the radio conveniently gives the day and time. It's Thursday afternoon, despite it really being Monday morning. But the rattling and shaking are famliar, and things start falling off the bridge as Scott (spoiler!) tries to avoid oncoming traffic. Eli barely has time to curse "not again" before he's jolted back to the cab. He asks to go to Chinatown.
Eli bitches to Chen that one fake earthquake was bad enough, but two is a Michael Bay nightmare. He says it's like the aneurysm knows he's planning to take it out and it wants to scare him with big-budget sequels. Chen says personifying the aneurysm is kind of weird. In reply, Eli compares himself to Jonah, who also didn't believe God was speaking to him and ended up in the mouth of a whale. He's been reading up. "You want to get all Trivial Pursuit? Bring it," Eli says. Chen reminds him that Jonah really was a prophet, so Eli's sort of proving his point that these visions are the real divine deal. Eli says he saw the earthquake, and he knows when. Chen says he has to tell people. Eli says no, thanks, given the last time, when he bribed a judge and had families thrown out of their Silver Terrace homes. Chen asks what if this is a validation of the first vision, like Jonah hearing the voice of God twice? Eli says he can't do anything, since he can't actually stop it. "If I barely believe me, who else is going to?" he asks.
Marci Klein's on the phone, demanding someone get on a plane immediately. W.'s glad to see she's made herself at home; she says it is home, since she helped build the place. It's also awesome that she's trying to get W. ousted, which is ballsy considering his name is first on the door. He asks if she didn't think he'd find out, but she doesn't really care that he did. She's more worried about all the big richies taking their business elsewhere. W. sagely says there will be new clients, and some of the old ones will come back. Not the ones Eli helped sue, Marci says sharply. Butel and Zyre Motors are drafting malpractice suits. W. asks if Marci spoke to those company's CEOs without his approval. She tells him that there's a common thread to the biggest blunders made lately, but W. says that Eli isn't a blunder. Kind of a blockhead sometimes, but not a blunder. Marci says she'd fire Eli but for the agreement Beth made part of the Butel settlement. W. says he's done the math, and she doesn't have the votes to boot him. She tells him not to be so sure.
Matt has successfully gotten a table for himself and Taylor at La Petit Table in exchange for low-cost representation. Taylor's impressed, which prompts Matt to call himself "the Dowd." Eli knocks, asking for a second with the Dowd. Matt: "What's on your structurally defective mind, friend?" Hee. Eli says he needs help with a personal legal matter, though not, as Matt suggest, a suit against him for dating Taylor. Eli hedges, telling Matt to speak with Patti. The Dowd and Taylor exchange puzzled looks.
Patti asks if Eli's fallen down and hit his aneurysm, apparently in response to his suggestion that she take some time off and get out of town. She says she already took a week off, but Eli doesn't care, telling her to take another. They're not busy, especially with the surgery coming up. In lieu of reply, she hands him a present, which is not for him, but for Maggie. An engagement/apology gift for his assitude the last episode. She hands Eli the receipt, and he says he's either very sorry or very happy for Maggie. Patti tells him he's both, eyeing Maggie as she passes. Eli gives her the gift immediately, which is a frame. So that Scott can be in Ohio AND on her desk, in a frame. Maggie brightly says Scott's moving out to CA on Thursday. Eli fakes how great it is, and is saved by a phone call from Chen, who says he has the answer to Eli's problem. He directs Eli to a live news break. A scientist (or nutcase, according to Eli) is on the steps of City Hall, telling anyone who'll listen that, through geological prognostication, he's been able to calculate that the next big earthquake is about to hit San Francisco. On Thursday. Okay, so the earthquake is on... Thursday?
Chen's brought Eli to the nutcase, saying he's helping Eli to get people to believe him. By talking to someone no one believes, Eli points out. Chen is back to being all optimism and AWESOME, reminding Eli that the doctor predicted the quake from Eli's vision. Eli adds that he's predicted five others that never happened, so he's four up on Eli so far. Chen says he's obviously gotten the kinks worked out of his prediction system. Eli says it's the opposite of obvious. The two men stride up to the house where Dr. Foote is affixing wiring to the roof and trees. Chen immediately pipes up that they're there because they believe him. He thinks they're there to mock. Eli says they're not, he's interested in his method of "seismic prosnogtication." The house itself, it would seem, is a giant seismometer. He leads them inside to show them some mechanisms that protect the house in case of an earthquake and also detect possible quake-like activity. Eli looks at it all with idiot face. He asks if Dr. Foote hasn't ever predicted an earthquake successfully, but Foote takes issue with the word "predict," which is astrological hooha. Eli asks what his family think about the house-sized seismometer. They don't anymore, since they've left. Eli asks where the epicenter will be, and Foote leads them to a map marked with fault lines. The algorithms show the very center of the earthquake will be... wait for it... Silver Terrace. A 6.5 quake at least, with shock waves that could destroy the Golden Gate Bridge. Eli asks how far Dr. Foote is willing to take it. Foote says that he's sacrificed pretty much everything there is, so, you know, pretty far.
Eli takes it straight to court, where he's asking the city to close the bridge. The judge (Graham Chase, the old perfidious lout) waves Eli's motion, based on something called mandamus. It's a wicked old law, old enough to have been written on a stone tablet, so says the prosection. Much like Jonah might have used, or am I getting into lameness here? It only applies if the city isn't meeting its legal obligations, like protecting the health and wellfare of its citizens. Eli says everyone will be up shit creek in three days, so yeah, they need the protection. The prosecution argues that how Eli's bringing up the "quack" Dr. Foote, who has a rather impressive list of credentials, despite his failed record at forecasting earthquakes. She adds that the mandamus law supposes the plaintiff knwos better than the city, and Dr. Foote doesn't qualify. Eli says he does, and he's named himself as plaintiff with Dr. Foote supplying the evidence. He adds that the bridge has been closed three times before for high winds, so why not an earthquake? Eli says that with hundreds of lives at stake, what's the harm in wasting a few hours listening to Dr. Foote. The judge agrees, but only because he really doesn't want to get into the next trial on his docket. Chen grins at Eli from the peanut gallery. I don't know why I love the man so, but he just makes me happy.
In W.'s office, Taylor has her panties in a twist about how many associates from different WPK satellites are currently in the building, which she's pretty sure means the wicked witch is orchestrating a palace revolt. Only she says it REvolt. W. assures Taylor that witches other than Marci have tried to throw him off his perch before, and that he's made of kevlar. Marci bursts in, asking if W. knows what his favorite son is up to again. He doesn't, which fuels Marci's Eli-based ire as she announces that Eli's suing San Francisco to close the Golden Gate. W. easily says that he must have a reason, and he'll talk to Eli himself. Marci says she's got this one. She leaves, and Taylor asks if W. isn't going to silence Eli so as not to give Marci more ammunition. W. quite honestly says it hadn't occurred to him. But it's occurred to Taylor and she has her bitch on. As is only appropriate when someone's got the claws out for family.
Downstairs, Eli's got a surprise for Maggie. A gift, really. Maggie says doubtfully that the frame was generous enough. She turns away, but Eli's all hot under the collar now, saying they're going to save thousands of lives from an earthquake. They're going to be superheroes! With suits and briefcases instead of capes and secret identities! Not as cool, sorry, dude. He wants Maggie to be his second chair. Maggie says she can't. Eli asks why, if Scott doesn't get in for another week. Maggie admits that she's working with Marci on something. Eli: "Medusa Klein?" Ha. Entre, of course, Medusa herself. She and Maggie are now the attorneys of record for the city, Eli's opposing counsel. Marci is very, very pleased with herself, but Maggie can't meet Eli's eye. Eli notices the frame on Maggie's desk, with has a photo of Maggie and Scott in it now. And Scott, of course, is the driver who brought Eli along in his vision that morning, Maggie the overheard "Macaroni."
Matt flags down Eli at the elevators, where he's waiting with Dr. Foote. Eli steps aside to explain about the aneurysm extraction and the living will to protect his wishes and dignity. Matt asks if this is supposed to so tug his heartstrings it'll make him limp for Taylor. Nice choice of words there, Dowd. Eli is serious, and he wants an ironclad living will made without sympathy or sentiment. Matt reasons taht he's fairly unsympathetic. Eli: "We're going to put your utter lack of humanity to good use." He takes off for court with Dr. Foote, leaving Matt to look vaguely puzzled.
On the stand, Dr. Foote says that earthquake prognostication is the white whale to his Captain Ahab. He says he's refined his methodology to 98% certainty. This quake is coming in two days, during rush hour. Marci stands for her cross-examination, but instead, she moves Mr. Foote's testimony be removed from record and the case dismissed. Nice move, denying him the doctor part. Eli objects, but Marci explains that scientific testimony is inadmissable unless generally accepted by the scientific community. She then basically gets Dr. Foote to admit that absolutely no one believes him but Eli. She asks if the Footes are estranged, and it comes to light that Mrs. Foote left the doctor when the last earthquake he forecasted never happened.
Taylor's chased Eli down at work to harrass him out of this lawsuit. She tells him that Marci's using this case against W. to get him ousted, and then she takes off. Eli brings it to W., saying he can drop the case, recuse himself and get Foote new counsel. W. doesn't think anyone else will take it, and that it's unlike Eli to drop a case. He asks if something's wrong. Eli says not personally, but he's heard rumblings about the political consequences of his case. W. asks if Eli's here to rescue him. Eli quite eloquently says that W. was there for him, and now he's there for W. W.'s like, that's sweet of you, but I am the lord of this domain, and you never would have gotten this far with any of your odd crusades if I never wanted you to, so tilt another day, Don Quixote. W. says his lawyers finish their cases. Eli agrees. I love Victor Garber's voice.
Out in the hall, Maggie gloats up that she can't believe she's going to beat him. Eli says she's not, Marci will. Maggie says Marci has big plans for her. And then Eli has to drop the necessary bomb, even though it makes him sound like a douche. He tells Maggie ("Are you always this naive?") that Marci's using her to get to him. Maggie knows him better than anyone else at the firm, she knows his strategies and techniques, she knows his history, she knows HIM. Eli says that if Foote's right, people could die. A person Maggie knows, in fact. Eli tells Maggie that when Marci comes at her, she should try to be a little less... Maggie. Maggie takes this in, decides she's insulted, and tells Eli that he's as good at alienating people as Dr. Foote.
In court, Eli calls Mrs. Foote to the stand, saying that since Marci brought her up yesterday, she's fair game. She speaks of her ex warmly, smiles at him as she speaks. Eli says that yesterday Marci made it seem like Mrs. Foote left because Dr. Foote is crazy. By way of answer, she says Albert Einstein kept multiples of the same outfit in his closet so he wouldn't have to waste time chosing what to wear, and it was seen as a quirk of genius, while today, we'd think him OCD. Eli asks if she believes the capability of the seismometer. Mrs. Foote says she doesn't know, but she didn't leave because she didn't believe him, she left because his work was more important than she. Marci's response to the whole thing is: not relevant, don't care.
Eli and Matt go over the living will, and Matt continues to the gap of snappy insults for Nate this week, saying that he already considers Eli braindead. Eli reads the will, which basically says that he doesn't want his life prolonged if he's a vegetable without the chance of recovery; he just wants to die in that situation. Matt sees how overwhelmed he is by the whole life/death drama and cracks a little.
Not cracking at all is Taylor, who's bitching her way through dinner with Matt over how much an ass Eli is about this earthquake case. Matt's seemingly stopped listening, which pisses Taylor off. She reminds him that when on a date with a non-professional, he should pay attention to the woman. She asks what's on his mind, and he tells her to go easy on Eli. Taylor's like, seriously? She says her dad's done everything for Eli, he could do this one thing for W. Matt says Eli's been thinking about other stuff. Like the pulsating aneurysm that could kill him any minute. She asks if this has anything to do with the legal favor Eli needed, but Matt hedges that it's privileged. Taylor says she and Eli told each other privileged stuff all the time; Matt defensively asks her not to put him in that position. Although there are several others she could put him in. And there's the Dowd. She tells him it's amazing he was able to botch the one night he had to prove he's not a total pig. Oh, Taylor. Sometimes the porcine is just false bravado.
Maggie's working with Marci, who tells her to go home. As she's getting ready to leave, Marci TMIs about how she and W. used to have a thing before he was married and before the birth of WPK, so she knows it's hard to oppose someone in court that you're close to. Maggie protests she's not close to Eli; when Marci mentions all the casework they've done together, Maggie bluffs that she needed the time in court. Marci wants some help, but Maggie demurs. She notes that kids and illegal aliens get priority, but clients like Salinski get less than his best. Maggie can't help but defend her crush, saying Eli did everything for Salinski to evacuate Silver Terrace. Marci's like, evacuate? She remembers that Silver Terrace is the epicenter of the earthquake, and putting the pieces together, orders Maggie to sit and tell her everything about that case and imaginary earthquakes. Maggie protests that Eli told her things in confidence. Marci looks at her coldly and tells her she's obligated to share.
In court the next day, Marci calls Maggie to the stand as a rebuttal witness, to Eli's stuttered objection. He's overruled, and Maggie takes the stand with a hesitant look at Eli. Marci asks Maggie about any changes in Eli's behavior and practice lately, though Eli objects. Since Eli's the plaintiff himself, he's overruled. Maggie, already nearly in tears, says that Eli's trying to represent individuals, not corporations. Marci asks about the Salinski case, and Maggie says that Eli was concerned about the residents of Silver Terrace. He wanted them tog et a good deal. Marci corrects her: he wanted them evicted as quickly as possible. Maggie says that's what Salinski wanted. There's some leading and objecting and Maggie being treated as a hostile witness before Marci asks exactly why Eli wanted everyone otu of Silver Terrace. Maggie manages to hold it together as she admits that Eli said there would be an earthquake and that he could see the future. Eli looks chastened. In the gallery, Chen looks worried and disappointed. Eli gets to his feet and asks Maggie one thing: when he told her there would be an earthquake, what did she say? Maggie, tearfully says she believed him.
After the break, the judge comes back with his decision. Since Dr. Foote is a "fringe scientist" and Eli a lawyer "of questionable sound mind," the mandamus writ is denied. Eli looks sort of blankly devastated. Marci tells Maggie she's an excellent second chair. Maggie looks ready to spit. Out in the hall, Dr. Foote rips Eli a new one for being insane, making him look like a joke and using him for his "own personal nutbaggery." Eli insists he believes Dr. Foote. Foote says Eli's nuts, and if he tries to file an appeal, Foote will get a restraining order against him. Eli sighs as Foote takes off. Maggie approaches to apologize, but when Eli tells her to call Scott and tell him to stay off the bridge, isn't convinced. Eli says Scott calls her Macaroni; if he's not right, how did he know? Maggie says she must have told him. There's a whole evolution to the nickname, and Eli says he'd remember being that bored. He asks Maggie to do it for him. She nods a little. As she leaves, he gets a call from Patti, who says that the mayor's chief aide wants to meet with him and Dr. Foote.
Marci's heading up W.'s impeachment, giving an obnoxious speech about the largest, most successful, best and brightest clients. Those who have left need proof that the firm's seen the error of its ways, and that proof has to be W.'s eviction from his firm. W. says that Eli hasn't damaged the reputation of the firm. He gets to his feet, saying that Marci's problem with Eli is not his supposed eccentricity, but that he fights for underdogs and individuals, not conglomerates or CEOs. It's like what Maggie said in court, only better. "He reminds us that in business, there is still room for humanity. That capitalism without mercy is tantamount to evil. He reminds us of the best parts of ourselves. Yes, I have protected Eli Stone, because I believe this firm needs Eli Stone. I believe that every firm, every company, everyone needs an Eli Stone." And every network, GOT THAT ABC? W. says that if the board votes against him, then WPK has become something he doesn't want his name on anyway.
City Hall. Eli asks the aide to repeat himself, since he's known to hear things. Apparently the mayor has decided to close the bridge in spite of the judge's ruling. Eli asks why. Because Dr. Foote, while annoying, is persuasive, but even moreso is Eli. Eli asks what if they're wrong. Aide: what if you're right and we did nothing? Eli's amazed that the only person in the city to believe them is the Mayor. It's called deus ex government, and it doesn't happen that often, pretty.
WPK. Eli, Patti, Taylor, and the Dowd are gathered. Eli tells the women that, before his surgery, he wanted to ensure he wouldn't be "Terri Schiavo'd." Eli says he would have asked Taylor, but he needed someone without conscience or sympathy. "No offense," Eli says. Matt: "None taken." Taylor blusters that there's no need, since these surgeries probably go fine. Patti's been researching, and she says it's a 50/50 chance either way. "Eli's a coin toss away from being a vegetable," she says solemnly. Eli says he needs the living will witnessed, which is why Patti and Taylor are there. Taylor asks if he wants them to witness his suicide note. He says it's not that, it's a statement of his wishes about how, and under what circumstances, he doesn't want to live. Taylor signs, and, after asking if Eli's made his will, so does Patti. She gets his George Michael CDs. Taylor asks Matt if this is the privileged thing. Eli rises and directs everyone to Golden Gate Park, which is the safest place to wait out the earthquake. He says to consider it a last request if they have to. He takes off, Patti right behind him.
Out in the lobby, Eli calls for the attention of the firm at large, hollering to get it. He apologizes, saying he has it on good authority that in an hour, there's going to be a big earthquake, so he's leaving. He encourages everyone else to get out, given the ginormous glass building they're in. (Glass building... stones? Nice, writers. Nice.) Eli says he knows that most people know he's crazy, what with the hole in his head and inappropriately timed song in his heart. Lawyers should rely on fact and empirical evidence, he says. But please, please, get out of the damned building. Take it on faith. He tells them they won't regret it. Taylor's looking at him with tears in her eyes, W. watching him stoically from above. When he ask who's going with him, Patti arms herself to leave, a random associate drops her files and runs, and Matt and Taylor wander off, where to, it's not clear.
Marci announces W.'s removal from his office just before things start to rattle and shake, and the windows explode in a hail of glass. The light fixture falls to the table, and the lawyers dive for cover. with the dust still falling, W. says he'd like a revote.
Out in Golden Gate Park, Foote's triumphant. Maggie greets Eli with a hug, introducing him to Scott. She says she believed him. There's a loud rumbling, and the gathered denizens in the park rush to a nearby rock wall to watch the Golden Gate fall to pieces in front of them. Nate, awesomely, is there, with a reassuring hand on Eli's shoulder, Patti right behind him. Eli doesn't look happy to see the revelation come to pass.
I really, really hope that, in the dream sequence where Eli asks, "Are you God?" that the person on the other end of that question is Victor Garber.
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