My Name is Earl - "Killerball" (Episode 318)

Earl got ejected from the hospital, and Randy had the option of putting him in county-run long-term care or taking him home and receiving $2,000 in Camden Cash, "redeemable at more than 6 local businesses." The first business Randy saw was paintball, so, obviously, he opted for the Camden Cash. Randy pushed Earl down the street in a shopping cart - he felt karma gave him the cash and put him in front of a supermarket when he was tired of carrying his brother.  

In Earl's coma sitcom, he and Billie are really old - and it's "Clip show night" on "The Hickeys." They recalled a fight they got into when they split the house in half and Cousin Wendell, the precocious African-American kid, moved in. Patty sees Randy and Earl on the street. Randy insists Earl's almost back to normal, he's reacting to Randy's Wet Willies, by knocking his hand away. Patty tells Randy that she knows where she can get them a wheelchair. It belonged to a pimp friend of hers, who wanted to get rid of it because he felt no one respected the chair. He now had one of his bitches carrying him in a backpack, like Yoda. As much as Randy liked the idea of a Yoda backpack, he opted for the chair, which he controoled via a joystick. The thing was completely tricked out, with speakers, neon and spinning hubcaps. Darnell said it was nice to see white folks kicked out of the hospital for once and was worried that Randy was taking care of Earl. Darnell reminded him that he couldn't take care of his first Mr. Turtle, who Randy got out of his shell and tried to jam back in. Ewww. Randy has been taking care of Earl, as well as he was capable of - pureeing a dinner from Chubby's and putting it in his IV, slamming him around in the back of the El Camino, and even bathing him, using a pair of tongs to hold Earl's junk while he dried him off. Randy said that now that Earl's out of the hospital, he can work on his list himself and get better even quicker. He says that he can handle #241 on the list - "made Derek Stone late for work."

Derek was one of those guys who worked unconventional hours, which in the trailer park meant 9 to 5. Earl and Randy buried his car under a mountain of dirt. Randy revisited him to try and get him crossed off the list. Apparently the guy lost his job and his girlfriend. Randy said Derek could now drive in the carpool lane and never be late for work again - because he put Earl in the back seat. Unfortunately, Derek sold the car to his neighbor, who was scared to find Earl in her car and sprayed him with pepper spray. Randy tried to find another item Earl could work on. He found item #126, "stole from the Henson kids." As kids Randy and Earl were always jealous thet Bret and Tiffany Henson went on such great vacations with their family, like Hawaii and Mystery Fun Land. They also took a skydiving trip, which left them all in wheelchairs. Randy and Earl couldn't resist the chance to steal the wheelchairs from Bret and Tiffany - leaving them laid out in the driveway. Randy finds the grown-up Bret and Tiffany in the local "wheelchair bar." Tiffany said that Earl deserved to be in a coma for what he did. Randy said Earl was lying in the parking lot to make up for what they did. Bret said he was leg humped by a doberman. Tiffany said she was shoulder humped by a doberman..."to completion." This made Randy laugh. A lot. I don't think they're going to let him cross them off the list.

Randy went out in the parking lot and found a bum trying to steal Earl's pants. Randy takes him into the bar to find his parched brother a sponge to suck on and Earl recalls more incidents on "The Hickeys", like when Randy was smacked in the head with a board and became smart and a "very special episode," where Earl asks Randy to "show me on the bear where the bad neighbor touched you." Tiffany was surprised to see that Earl really was in a coma. Tiffany's ex then showed up at the bar. He threatened Earl as he made his way to get a drink and Tiffany realized that there was something Earl could do for her. She wanted to get her back together with her ex, T.R. and wanted to use Earl to make him jealous. Tiffany took Earl and the gang to a place where she knew T.R. and all of his friends would be - at a Killerball match (which was just like Murderball.") Tiffany was really working hard to try and make T.R. jealous, but he was so busy with the game that he wasn't paying attention. Darnell said that Earl was looking bad - and he's stopped reacting to the wet willies. T.R. was having a good game, which wasn't making Bret, the captain of the other team, too happy. He gives such an inspiring pep talk to his teammates that one of them jumps out of his wheelchair. He could always walk, he just liked the game. He gets disqualified. Bret tells Randy that if Earl fills in for the disqualified player, he can scratch him off the list. Despite the protests of Darnell and Joy, Randy puts him in the game. Back on "The Hickeys", Earl and Billie recall a visit from Earl's effiminate twin brother from the city. The Killerball game went on with Earl. Fortunately Randy had a "degree from the University of Pac Man" and was able to keep Earl out of harm's way - Earl even scored the game-tying goal. Sadly, Randy dropped the remote. Tiffany finally got T.R.'s attention when she screamed out that she loved Earl - and his fully functioning penis." T.R. was so mad that he threw the ball at Earl's head - it rebounded and Bret won the game. Another item was crossed off the list, but it wasn't quite enough to bring Earl back. Fortunately, Derek's neighbor was scared to drive alone after finding Earl in her car and asked Derek if he wanted to carpool - so he had his job and a new girlfriend. Crossing that off the list was the event that made Earl come back. No more "The Hickeys", it's time for Earl to get back to his real life - and Billie. Joy was afraid that the coma made him gay.