The Office - "Did I Stutter?" (Episode 416)

There's fresh cement outside of the office building and Michael asks the Dunderites for advice about how to immortalize himself in the cement. Pam translated for Kelly that he should put his handprints in cement. Jim suggests he put his face in the cement. Michael loves it. Everyone gathers outside for the ceremony and Dwight pushes Michael's vaseline-covered face into the cement, saying "force it in as deep as you can" (Michael's muffled response "That's what she said.") And a Michael's face-shaped hole now exists outside Dunder Miflin.

Andy and Angela are doing the least funny "Mad Libs" ever. Angela's favorite adjective seems to be "nice." ("It's a man eating cat food.") Dwight shoots daggers at the happy couple with his eyes. He says he hopes "nothing horrible ever happens to them." Pam's wearing glasses. She "slept over at a friend's house" and forgot her contact solution, so she had to resort to her back-up glasses. Michael tells Pam that she's "moving in the wrong direction" in becoming hotter. He then calls yet another of his infamous meetings, this time brainstorming for ideas on how to energize sales. Jim does another of his gfake proposals, proposing it would be great if Pam gets him some coffee. Andy suggests they change the answering machine message to give it more "zing and pep." Jim ups the ante by suggesting an even newer message with even more zing and pep. Michael thinks a more urban, rap sort of message would be good and asks Stanley for help. He repeatedly refuses to help, he's too busy doing his crossword puzzle and is provoked so much that he finally yells "Did I stutter?' Awkward silence. Michael leaves to get a glass of water. Toby comes into Michael's office and says he needs to address Stanley's quite flagrant insubordination. Michael tried to blow it off and said they were just messing around with each other. Toby didn't think Stanlry was messing around. Michael said he just didn't understand Stanley, who's a "beautiful, sassy, powerful black man." Toby said that if Michael believed Stanley was joking, that they should go talk to him. Michael said he would, but that right now his stomach hurt and he may be going home early. Toby said his daughter's stomach hurt due to a mean girl at her school. Dwight sees that Andy's selling his X-Terra and examines the car with him. Dwight tells Andy the car is crap and will buy it for next to nothing. Dwight drives a hard bargain and buys the car for a song. Who knew Dwight could wheel and deal like that. Michael addresses Stanley and says that they're now "back to normal" with them. Stanley says he's not apologizing to Michael. Dwight shows Michael an organizational chart which shows the chain of command at Dunder Miflin - and shows that Ryan has the authority to discipline Stanley, if he zig-zags around Michael. Michael asks what the pink color signifies and Dwight replies, "menstrual cycles." Dwight then shows Michael the "Emergency Disaster Mode" chart, where Dwight is over everyoine. He asks Michael if he can take care of the Stanley situation for him and Michael refuses to turn over authority to him. Dwight's being quite pushy and aggressive lately, hasn't he?

Kevin loves Pam's glasses. He says it's a turn-on for him and asks her if she can pretend to be a librarian for him. Creeped out, Pam decides to workfor the rest of her day without her glasses. It's going to be hard as she's blind as a bat. Creed says a lot of great jazz musicians are blind and would love to put Pam, whtout her glasses, in front of a piano. He'd also like to see her topless. I love Creed. Michael goes to Daryl for advice on how to deal with Stanley. He asks if he was in a gang, and Daryl confessed he was in the  "Bloods, Crips, Latin Kings, Warriors and Newsies" and said beefs in the gang world were solved with "fluffy fingers" - tickling. Pretty soon former nemeses are laughing, hugging and going to church and eating ice cream together. Ryan shows up to deal with Stanley. First, though, he calls Jim into the conference room to ask him how he survies as an Eagles fan - and abruptly changes gears and gives him a formal waring about his job performance, he's apathetic and spends to much time messing with Dwight and Pam. Toby agrees that Jim spends to much time with Pam. He would. Jim thinks it's because he went to Wallace with his concerns about the web site. Jim didn't tell Pam what Ryan had said, but she didn't believe him. Dwight is selling the X-Terra for a profit. Andy's pissed. Dwight said "seller beware." Angela looked impressed. Dwight was triumphant. Michael hatched a plan to discipline Stanley by "fake firing" him. Jim says it's a bad idea. Michael wants everyone to act like he's actually firing him. Michael says Stanley neds to learn a lesson.

Michael "fires" Stanley - and he's shocked. He's "fired like a heart attack." Stanley lets Michael have it and threatens a lawsuit. Michael then tells Stanley it was a "fake firing" and asks if Stanley has anything to say to him. Stanley does and goes off on a tirade ablout Michael's incompetence and stupidity. Michael yells at him to stop and sends everyone out of the office - except for Stanley. As Kevin put it, it's the "Clash of the Titans." After the office clears out, Michael braks down and tells Stanley that he doesn't understand why he's picked on. Stanley says he's got no respect for Michael. Michael says it may be because he doesn't know him that well. Stanley countered that he's actually lost respect for Michael the longer he knows him. Michael told Stanley that he couldn't talk to him that way in the office anymore and Stanley agreed that was fair. Michael said he felt like Rodney Dangerfield and offered up a lame impersonation - which morphed into bad impersonations of Jeff Foxworthy, Borat and Jerry Seinfeld. He's such a boob.

Michael is back to the brainstorming. He has an idea about rewarding clients by finding out where they live and going to theor homes to entertain them with Christmas carols - in the summertime. He wants to cal it the "Summer Sales-A-Lot." He asked stanley for his feedback and he said (insincerely) that it was his best idea ever. Phyllis said it was ridiculous and Michael asked her to stay behind.