Bones: The Wannabe In the Weeds (Episode 314)

Oh, come ON!We're at the Checker Box for open mic night, where all matter of performers (for they cannot all rightly be called singers) take their turn on stage. The most notable is Ace Young, former American Idol alum, singing the Nickelback song "Far Away." Upfront: I didn't watch Ace's year, so I have no impression of him going in other than what I see right now, but I really hate Nickelback, so he could have the voice of the King himself and I'd still be irritated with him from the outset. But Ace is working the crowd, particularly a dark-haired girl down front; another, peevish looking young man does not seem as enthused by the performance. He rises as Ace leaves the stage, while the emcee introduces him as a regular named Chris, and he and Ace snarl a little as they pass each other, Ace saying he couldn't listen to Chris butcher the song again. Ace sang Chris's song, so Chris has to resort to a really ugly rendition of "Piano Man." Nobody wants this particular song from the piano man tonight; we are all feeling creeped out and ashamed instead of all right, that is the kind of force he brings to the song. Ace looks over his shoulder and catches the eye of a guy in the corner booth, who gives him the first of "dude, you rock." The dark-haired woman leans over his chair and whispers in his ear, making Ace smile, and as she leaves, he checks his fancy-pants watch.

Cut to a body in the veritable weeds, which are giving Booth some serious hay fever. Cam says the body's been here several weeks. It was found by a groundskeeper mowing the grass, which is eight feet high and, he says, driving through it is a lot like driving in the dark. The crunch caught his attention, so he stopped. Allergy wah wah humor, and Brennan asks the driver if he saw a head, by any chance. Brennan approaches the mower, flashlight aloft, peers up into the mechanism, and calls that she found it. With one filmy, enlarged eyeball still intact. She hypothesizes that the blade hit the C5 vertabra and the force of the impact bounced the head into the grille. Killed, decapitated, and mulched, Booth observes: could it get worse for this guy? And he's dead, so not really, but it does for us. The eyeball drops out of the socket, and a parade of ants march out onto the nerve and the eyeball proper.

This is a really disgusting corpse they have back at the Jeffersonian, all guts and broken bones and gaping maw of a skull. Cam says the guy must have been an athelete, and probably hot. he is exceptionally not, at the moment, which Angela points out. Cam says he had a cold, judging by the tea, honey, and throat lozenge in his stomach. Hodgins arrives with Ace's watch, which he says is "totally cool." It's like an exercisy watch. Angela thinks it's bad enough going to the gym without having your watch yell at you for everything. Zach announces his regimen is apartment-based: running, sit ups, push ups, leg lifts, and free weights. "I'm deceptively strong," he says. So it appears. Angela IDs the body as Tommy Sour, aka Ace.

The Bs are at Ace's residence, and there's beeping. I get up to see if I left my alarm on, which I regularly do when it fails to get me out of bed in the morning. Brennan tests the door and finds it open, and before Booth can fully scold her, the tenant steps forward, apologizing that he was wearing ear plugs. He's Ace's next-door-neighbor and reported him missing a few weeks ago. His apartment is full of artwork, and he explains his has a showing in a month. Brennan compliments him, but he irritably says everything is crap. He can't focus, because Ace's alarm has been going off every two minutes since Ace went missing. At least my alarm only goes off for, like, a half hour before it turns itself off. Or possibly more. I should really remember to turn it off in the morning. Booth agrees that it's annoying, and the guy, Matthews, asks if they can get it shut off. Booth tells him Ace is dead. Matthews is a little shocked; he says he called Ace in missing because his mail was piling up, and also because of the alarm clock, but they didn't know each other well. Booth asks if he saw anyone around recently, and Matthews remembers "Fat Pam." She was one of Ace's clients. The Bs: whu? Matthews explains he and Ace were conversationally neighborly, but not buddies, and he knew that Ace was Fat Pam's trainer at Valera Wellness. Brennan asks if he has to call Pam "Fat Pam," and he says that's what Ace called her. He wasn't the nicest guy around, since Pam wasn't even that fat. She did, however, follow Ace home from the gym and hang out, watching his place. She came over once in the middle of the night, in a teddy and heels, and banged on Ace's door. Booth asks, via some weird hand clapping, if Ace and Pam were doing it. They weren't. As they leave, Matthews asks them to turn off the alarm, or maybe shoot it.

Zack shows Cam that Ace's C5 vertabra was sliced as though with a cheese slicer, such is the way it was severed. He'll look for something more logical than a cheese slicer. I don't know, those things can be pretty lethal if you're clumsy. Not that I would know from personal experience. Shut up.

At the gym, the Bs bicker about fitness for health vs. for aesthetics, and Booth gets inappropriately gawky. Before Booth can get more inappropriate in his PANTS, "Dr. Jason" arrives to speak to them about Ace. He's not terribly fussed when he hears his most popular trainer is dead. Booth asks about Pam, Fat Pam. Dr. Jason says she was great, until she fell in love with Ace and freaked him out, getting handsy and inviting him on cruises. Booth ogles. Brennan tells him to focus.

Pam Nunan is with the Bs in Booth's office. She has a stalker's scrapbook, and she's creepy/dreamy about Ace. Brennan asks if he reciprocated, and Pam gets defensive, wondering if Brennan asks because Pam herself is not a stick like Brennan. Brennan takes umbrage to being called names. Pam says that Ace wanted to marry her: he was her life, she was his, and whatever they think he did, they're wrong. Brennan's like, not him, you. Booth breaks the news, and as Pam sits in disbelief, we cut to away.

As Pam sits in the official interrogation chair, Sweets (Sweets!) tells Brennan that Pam has body issues, believing she's bigger than she is. Brennan muses it's interesting, and Sweets tells her she actually doesn't think it's interesting at all. Without changing her expression, she replies, "That's true." He tells her she has an irrational prejudice against psychology because of emotions too complicated for her to deal with. And Sweets pokes and prods at them--and this is accompanied with some actual poking to the shoulder that is so adorable I'm spontaneously converted to Strawberry Shortcake right here in my living room--and makes them real and painful. Brennan tells him all she feels is disinterest, so Sweets should work his voodoo on Pam instead. Even if the Bs don't love you, Sweets, I DO. He says she's sorting her trail mix, which means she's nervous. Brennan says she could be bored, given the hour she's been waiting.

Booth steps in with Pam, who immediately says she didn't kill Ace, she loved him. Booth doesn't reply, but takes in the OCD trail mix and asks what's up. Pam says she was bored. Excuse me while I duck the flying skillets. Booth says he believes that she loves Ace, but he doesn't believe Ace loved her. He thinks Pam was stalking him. She shows him a bracelet Ace gave her that says "P A M" for Pam. Booth asks what she gave him before he gave her the bracelet, which Sweets thinks is an excellent question. It was $1000 gift certificat to the Music Center, since Ace loved music. Booth says that's generous. Sweets says it's an extremely passive-aggressive way to obligate someone and force a connection. She's deluded and setting herself up for a tragic ending. One way to make sure he wouldn't leave her would be to kill him. Pam tells Booth Ace had a great voice and wanted to be a professional singer; she did everything for him, and he was hers. She's very creepy-calm-intense. She says she was in Florida planning the wedding when Ace was killed. Booth gets up to go, and she asks who'll love her now. He pats her on the shoulder, though Sweets, on the other side of the glass, warns him not to, like he's watching a horror movie. An evil, serene look passes Pam's face.

In Booth's office, Sweets tells the Bs that Pam is possessive and amoral; she forges emotional connections through manipulation and delusion. Brennan asks if this means she killed Ace, but Sweets will only say Pam is dangerous. Booth agrees, except that he's being sarcastic, and I wish these two would be nicer to Sweets because he's so cute I want to squeeze his face right off. Sweets says mocking won't change anything. "I've been mocked many, many times before," he says. Come back to the five and dime, Sam Weir, Sam Weir! The Bs exchange a look, and Booth pushes Sweets out of the office. Sweets advises caution, since Pam isn't stable. Also, they have an appointment on Tuesday for trust exercises. Oh, to see the Bs execute the perfect trust fall!

Cam tells Brennan that Ace had dope in his system, and he'd recently been infected with E. coli, of which there was an outbreak at the Checker Box. It was the honey Ace was taking for his cold.

Cut to the Checker Box, with Brandon Rogers, an alum of Idol Six. Booth's waiting for Brennan, who says that Brandon has excellent projection. He's singing "My Corner of the Sky" again. I feel like he should be in a community theater version of Pippin, or even more accurate, Godspell. Booth schools Brennan on open mic night while a few Checker Box regulars (whom we saw in the teaser) shush him. Brennan tells Booth about the E. coli and says that Brandon Rogers is not bad, and has great enthusiasm. Booth has one of the shushers get the manager, and the emcee calls up Chris from the teaser again. Booth seems distracted by Brennan's enjoyment of the whole open mic thing. The emcee won't mea culpa for the honey until he finds out that Ace has been Aced. He says Ace was good for business, and in the background, Chris sings fucking Nickelback. Requisite Kelly Clarkson joke, and Booth tells Brennan to pay attention. One woman's open mic night is another man's gym, I guess? I don't like songs that make people's faces look like Chris's does right now, I'll tell you that. Emcee (not Joel Grey) tells the Bs that after Chris sang his bad "Piano Man," he and Ace got into it and he asked them to take it outside. That was the last time he saw Ace.

The Bs question Chris, who says Ace was a jerk with impolite groupies, which made other singers feel bad. Brennan says this makes sense, anthropologically speaking, but Booth and Chris ignore her so that Chris can bash Dead Ace some more. Ace thought he was coming into millions, and he had someone video his act for his MySpace page. Brennan likes the bad Sinatra act on stage, causing Booth to call her Paula. Oh, show. Be better. Booth asks about the fight Chris and Ace had over Nickelback, which was largely because Ace stole his song on scout night. Chris points out the talent scout to Booth, who goes over to schmooz and ferret out the truth, as he is wont to. And the talent scout is a fake. Outside, the Bs confront the scount and the emcee, figuring that it's a scam to make more money. More singers come for the scout, more drinks are sold, etc. Emcee says he only started the rumor, and the scout says he didn't hurt anyone. Brennan says that he lied and exploited the singers' need for attention, which is cruel. The emcee swears no one knows about the scam. Booth says that if they try it again, he'll arrest them for conspiracy and fraud. He tells them not to leave, since they're under investigation for murder. The Bs walk away, and Brennan asks if that's true. Booth: "No, I just don't like them."

As the Bs get in the car, we see Pam snapping photos of Booth from down the street. "I won't be IGNORED, DAN."

Zack's working on the murder weapon. He and Hodgins argue over the bones for a minute until Zach non sequiturs that he sang as a child. His parents thought it would help him "integrate socially." Further, he says he "received acclaim and a new stature among the parents of my peers." His actual peers? Were jealous, Zack says. Hodgins says he's trying to imagine it, but can't, so Zack bursts into a rendition of "Love is a Many Splendored Thing" that sort of frightens the pants off me. Everyone else loves it, though, especially Angela. Hodgins asks for some bones so that his tests will help Zack find the weapon. Hodgins leaves, but Angela and Cam are still gawking in the back. Angela leaves with a thumbs up and a mouthed "wow" to Zack.

At the diner, Booth belittles the older singers thinking they'll actually succeed at singing. Brennan tells him the need to stand out from the crowd is innate. Whether you're the best singer of the best sniper, it doesn't matter, having that position gives you status and power and makes you a superior mate. She says Booth enjoys power and prestige by being a superior agent. Booth is flattered, until Brennan says that obviously, since she's the best in her field, it would be self-destructive to work with someone beneath her. Booth says sometimes he thinks she feels she's better than him. She pauses and says objectively, she's more intelligent. She hastens to add, "in certain areas." In others, she has limitations and admires Booth's expertise. He puffs up a little that she admires him. She amends, in certain areas of expertise. Booth admires her too, for all the science. Brennan has to add that she's also a best-selling author, so she has additional status and such. But, she adds, she thinks society should revere scholars, teachers, and cops. This is a weird conversation. Like, turn to the other person and say, "I like you a lot and would very much like to see you naked." This whole carousel of mutual admiration with caveats is exhausting to recap.

Booth gets a call. It's Pam. Booth tries to keep it strictly professional, but Pam's crossed the line already by impersonating his mom to get his number. She wants to meet with him, and while he tries to include Brennan, she's wants to meet with him alooone. Brennan asks why, and Booth says because Brennan probably makes Pam uncomfortable by being Brennan, and well-adjusted. Again with the best selling author stuff until Booth stares Brennan into shutting up. And I would never normally say this of Brennan, who I adore, but thank you.

Booth's office. Pam is all pervy and delighted about Booth, all "you're so precious," and calling him by his first name. She asks if he's dating Brennan. He explains Brennan is his partner. She sees a picture of Parker and asks if he's married. Booth tries to steer her back to the case, saying he's busy, but Pam is a loony one-track mind. She has a present for him: socks. She noticed he has a thing for colorful socks last time, and she thinks it means he's like her: unpredictable. Booth is like, lady, please. Pam says she knows they shouldn't talk about "old flames" when they're getting to know each other. Booth is like, hello, the case, but Pam says she knows he'll find out who killed Ace. And besides, Ace wouldn't want her to grieve forever. She starts to tell Booth that she's drawn to him, and the big guy actually steps back. He tells Pam, ma'am, that this is way inappropriate. Pam laughs that he called her ma'am, saying it's cute. And bye for now, Seeley. Booth watches her go, his eyebrows all, "qua?" That woman is a cheddar short of a cheese plate.

Sweets and Brennan watch Ace's MySpace video. He has very white teeth. Sweets talks about presentational vs. representational singers, the ones who are all show and the ones who want you to feel. And then he brings up Chumbawuma, for no discernable reason. Brennan is sort of aghast that music, or maybe just performing, is "simple psychology" to Sweets. He says people's actions are motivated by need; when we discover our needs, we discover who we are. Brennan protests that society, not psychology, make us who we are. "Culture compells us," she says, "not some toilet training mishap." Probably the best verbalization of Brennan's bias against psychology, coming from the anthropologist's perspective instead of just a personal dislike. I can now stop asking that particular question. Booth separates them before the fighting loses them dessert. Sweets says it's not a fight, but a collegial debate. He smiles like a dork when he says this, but it takes Brennan a second to cool down and agree. She asks Booth how it went with Pam, and laughs when she hears about the socks. Sweets does not like this, since Pam is all about manipulation. Brennan changes the subject and says Ace was going to release a CD. They decide that Pam probably thought all his songs contained hidden meanings for her. Brennan confesses that until she was 13, she wanted to be the next Cyndi Lauper; she thought La Lauper was rad. She says her mother told her she sang as well as Cyndi Lauper. Who was also so unusual, if you'll remember. Booth and Sweets think that's cute, but Brenann insists that no, for real, her mother really really meant it when she said Brennan sang "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" better than the original. The guys tell her to go on and do it, but she insists she can't just then, she needs music and such. Booth teases her about being a diva in addition to her other accolades, but Sweets notices something in the video. One of the dudes at Checker Box is not loving Ace in this video, giving him the evil eye for singing to the dark-haired girl from the teaser. Booth mimics his expression and looks like a gorilla. Brennan says that this guy played the guitar, and realizes that's how Ace died.

Cut to the lab, where Brennan uses a guitar wire and a block of Velveeta to show that it could have been the murder weapon. Sweets and Booth laugh that she "cut the cheese." Brennan ignores them and has Zack and Hodgins act out the murder, with Hodgins as the aggressor. Zack hates always getting killed. If Ace was garrotted from behind, he would have fallen forward, which is consistent with his injuries and the fact that he was totally high from all the weed Cam found in his system. The guitar string fits. Sweets is amazed.

"Dax," the angry guitar player, is in questioning. He is also a red herring. Dax introduced Ace to his friend Jason, as in Dr. Jason, as in Ace's boss. Turns out Dr. Jason and Ace took out a business loan together to open their own training place, and Ace stole the whole $50K to finance his record. Booth takes this information to the gym with Brennan, but Dr. Jason has not been in. Booth calls in a BOLO for Dr. Jason.

At the Jeffersonian, Brennan flags down Hodgins to ask what trace elements he found on the bone. He's working on it still, and she tells him that if Dr. Jason is the killer, he would have grabbed something handy at the gym. She gets a call from Booth and takes off, saying she needs the test results.

The Bs square off with Dr. Jason, who is not the ray of sunshine he was before. He ran to Ohio to drop off the grid, run out on his loan now that Ace is dead and Dr. Jason's entirely responsible for its repayment. They dance a little, but it's all stalling until Hodgins comes in to say that the trace elements on the bone was clay. Hodgins tells Dr. Jason he's going to be totally cleared. Booth does not like this interruption. Hodgins adds that a certain manufacturer infuses its clay with silver powder, which this particular trace contained as well. Recently, a package of clay was shipped to Ace's neighbor, Matthews.

Ace's duplex. The Bs present Matthews with a warrant. The alarm is still going off. Brennan sets up a test for blood on Matthews' clay cutting wire, which proves positive. Booth cuffs him, and Matthews protests that he didn't want to. "But the noise," he says. The apartment walls are thin, and Matthews needed to concentrate for his show. Ace, however, would sing at all hours, even when Matthews begged him to be quiet. Matthews says he was just tyring to scare him. They were out in the alley, so Matthews went after him to make him quiet down. Ace was so much bigger than he, Matthews never thought he would kill Ace. Booth tells him what we all know: Ace was stoned and couldn't fight back. Matthews says he pulled on the wire, Ace fell down, and he was dead. And then it was quiet. The alarm keeps beeping in the background as the Bs exchange looks.

The whole team is waiting for Brennan at the Checker Box when Brennan arrives, including Sweets. Angela and Hodgins cheer her on, Booth is all smiles, and Sweets is looking forward to seeing Brennan let loose. Sweets is singing "Coconut" after Brennan, and he assures her she'll be impressed, as was his abnormal psych class in college. He claps a hand on Booth's shoulder, saying it's a gift from her partner. One look from Booth, and he takes his hand back, saying to trust herself, her friends, and have fun. Brennan takes the stage and, exchanging one of those challenging, intimate looks with Booth, rips off her coat and into the song. And, like her sister Zooey, Emily Deschanel has a really lovely voice.

As Brennan gets to the line about being the fortunate ones, Pam enters the bar from the rear. Booth raises a lighter to Brennan, smiling like a dope. Brennan hops around the stage as the others nod along to the music. Booth watches in wonder. Angela and Hodgins and Cam are haivng a blast, but Booth is really riveted. As the song ramps up to the chorus, he grins so wide and starts jumping around in his seat, like Brennan is on stage.

Pam whispers for Booth to look at her. When he keeps his gaze fix firmly on Brennan, she draws a gun from her purse. Pam shouts Booth's first name. She  says, "I'm doing this for us," and cocks the gun as she raises it to shoulder level.

Brennan's still jumping as she sings. Booth jumps from his seat, unholstering his gun, and Pam fires. Booth takes the bullet in his lower right shoulder, under his collar bone. He is knocked back by the force of it, the look on his face stunned.

Brennan steps towards him as he falls back, crouches at his side. Pam raises the gun again, and without hesitating, Brennan picks up Booth's service gun and shoots. She gets Pam in the throat, and Pam falls forward, then back. Hodgins tells Zack to call 911.

As everyone panics around her, Brennan presses her hands to the wound in Booth's chest and tells him he's going to be fine. She tells him to come on, shouting at him as he appears to go into shock. She hugs him, telling him over and over he's going to do this, come on, you'll be fine. Booth just stares at her, and she fades into darkness.

Holy hell, is it next week yet?