Battlestar Galactica - Guess What's Coming to Dinner? (Episode 407)

Hey all! Nova A, your friendly neighborhood sub recapper, here. I’ll be taking over the awesome kickassness that is BSG this week. As we open, Lee Adama plays President Roslin a recording of one of Gaius Baltar’s diatribes sermons. Gaius has spilled the beans about Roslin’s vision sharing with Caprica Six and Athena. Y’know, the whole “running after Hera through the opera house” thing. Pretty much everyone in the fleet has heard the broadcast, and wants to know what the frak is up. The Prez is pretty sure that she doesn’t have to answer any questions. Lee’s all, “Um I beg to differ.” He wants to know if Gaius is telling the truth. Roslin wonders what he would think if he started experiencing visions. Would he think the Gods were testing him? Um… hey Roslin? If you’re trying to deny what Gaius is saying, you may want to try a different technique.

Over on the rebel baseship (which currently resembles a wounded octopus that’s missing several arms) Kara tells Leoben that when the rebel cylons asked for help, they essentially turned over their freedom. She doesn’t know if Adama will chuck them out an airlock when they get back to Galactica. Since Leoben luvs Kara, he is too busy making ga-ga eyes at her to care. The Demetrius (currently sheltering shot-in-the-leg-by-Anders Gaeta) and the baseship are planning to jump to the rendezvous point together; if the Demetrius isn’t there to vouch that they’re the good guys, the baseship will likely be blown to smithereens. As they get ready for the jump, Natalie, the Six who’s been elected as the rebel cylon spokeswoman, comments to Athena Sharon that Hera must be beautiful. Athena’s surprised that Natalie knows about her daughter, but Natalie’s all, “Yeah we all know about your kid.” Athena’s clearly not sure how she feels about that.

Time to jump. Three, two, one… and wouldn’t ya know it, the Demetrius has a problem with its coordinates – it doesn’t arrive at the rendezvous point. But hells yes, the basestar does! It appears right the frak in the middle of the fleet, looming ominously over everybody and likely causing many, many people to crap themselves. Ships actually have to steer out of the way not to hit it. Naturally, chaos ensues, with Adama hollering at the civilian fleet to make an emergency jump. All over the place, ships bail, jumping away. Meanwhile, Athena tries to call Galactica, but the jump fried the comm and they can’t get through. Vipers are inbound, and the Demetrius is nowhere to be seen – the basestar is defenseless. That is, until Tigh, staring trancelike at the basestar like it’s one of those fascinating 3-D puzzles, decides something isn’t right. At the last possible second, he hollers for a weapons hold. Wham! In comes the Demetrius, appearing beside the basestar. Immediately they radio to let Galactica know that the ship is under the command of Colonial officers. Phew! Dude, that scene rocked my world. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I frakking love this show.

39,673 survivors.

Galactica sends soldiers to take control of the basestar. Tigh shows up crustily on the bridge (everything Tigh does is crusty, really – he is just crusty in general), wondering which one of the sonsabitches shot Gaeta. Anders looks properly chagrined. Natalie is taken over to Galactica to plead her case. She fills Adama and Roslin in about the cylon civil war, and that the D’Anna model was boxed because she saw the forbidden faces of the Final Five. The Final Five have been to earth, and if D’Anna identifies them, they can lead the fleet there. Apparently the baseship can heal itself (cool!), but the rebels don’t have the means to unbox D’Anna without help from the humans. Roslin’s wondering why they should trust any of this, so Natalie plays her trump card: the boxing facility is in something called the Resurrection Hub. The Hub controls all resurrection ships in the cylon fleet, and if they destroy it, every single cylon will lose the ability to download! Roslin’s suspicious that Natalie would give them such crucial information, but she’s ready to give up resurrection in order to get access to D’Anna. It’ll be a trade: the humans help unbox D’Anna, destroy the Resurrection Hub, and get directions to earth. In return, the identified Final Five will be handed over to the rebel cylons, and they’ll be allowed to go about their merry way on the basestar. “The Final Five are in your fleet,” Natalie proclaims. “That’s why the raiders turned back the attack in the nebula.” This is definitely news to a newly jittery Roslin and Adama.

After the meeting, Adama wonders how Tigh knew to stop the vipers from firing on the basestar. Nervously, Tigh claims that he just got lucky, and of course Adama doesn’t even stop to think that perhaps Tigh is a Toaster whose programming kicked in and kept him from firing on his own. Man, Adama is going to take it like a sucker punch to the gut when he finds out that his old pal is a cylon. Anyhoo, they send a raptor to Gina’s coordinates, and it does indeed photograph the massive Resurrection Hub. Meanwhile, in the infirmary, Gaeta’s looking like crap warmed over as he begs Cottle not to put him to sleep while they operate on his leg. For some godawful reason, Cottle obliges, giving Gaeta a local anesthetic. Then he whips out a giant saw. Dude! These people can fly around space in giant ships, but they still resort to amputation for a bullet wound? I’ve always thought Galactica’s medical abilities were a little bit lacking. Where's Dr. Beverly Crusher when you need her?

The civilian fleet is given the all clear to jump back. On Galactica, Adama, Roslin, Helo and Tigh talk shop. If they’re able to nuke the Resurrection Hub, the cylons will become mortal, a mindblowingly huge development. But first they need to go after D’Anna. Tigh goes against his programming and says that maybe they should just blow the crap out of everything without unboxing D’Anna. After all, they could just waltz right in, since the raiders won’t attack with the Final Five in the fleet (although he and I are both wondering why the raiders only recently figured that out, after three years of battle). Roslin settles on a plan: if the rebels are telling the truth about the Resurrection Hub, they’ll stick to their word and unbox the D’Annas. But they’ll do a lil’ tweak to the agreement, and won’t release the Final Five until they’ve found Earth. The “altered” plan is not to leave this room.

Over at the Quorum of the Boring, Tom Zarek reads the alliance announcement to the delegates, who get their collective political panties in a bunch that they weren’t consulted. Sigh. I’m pretty tired of this whiny, troublesome group. Maybe if they weren’t such annoying bureaucrats, the President would see fit to include them more. Meanwhile, Tori, Anders, Tigh and Chief have a secret cylon meeting, and Anders is on a long, painful guilt trip about Gaeta’s leg. Apparently Gaeta has taken to singing whenever he can feel his stump tingling, and Anders finds this fact particularly burdensome. At the same time, Natalie powwows with Leoben and a Sharon model. She doesn’t believe that Adama will let them take the final five and go about their merry way. They’ve come too far to risk everything on trusting Adama, and they’re going to need some insurance. The cylons develop an “altered” plan of their own: they’ll carry out the mission, but then take the humans stationed on their basestar as hostages, and they’ll hold them until the Final Five are forked over.

The next day, Tori goes bopping into Roslin’s office, all set for a morning meeting. But Roslin promptly shuts her down: she’s been told that Tori’s sleeping with Baltar, and that she’s with his hippie cultists followers enough to be a “charter member of the nymph squad.” Hee! Tori, looking ashamed, admits she’s come to believe in Baltar’s spiritual message. She’s anxious that to tell Roslin that her friendship and trust are very important, but Roslin doesn’t give a frak. She orders Tori to find out who’s responsible for telling Baltar “lies” about Roslin sharing visions with cylons. Then the Prez turns her back on Tori, who hangs her head and leaves. Cold, Roslin. That was ice cold.

Why, Gaeta! I didn’t know you were a fan of Irish sea shanties. Apparently so, because currently he’s yodeling one at top volume to stave off the stump-tingling. Roslin’s in the infirmary, too, getting a cancer treatment. Lee comes to see her, and lets her know that the Quorum of the Boring is considering a vote of no confidence against her. Laura tiredly sighs that she “won’t compromise the success of the mission to indulge the neediness of twelve perpetually unhappy representatives.” Honey, you just said a mouthful. That is exactly how I feel about the Quorum of the Boring. Lee tells Roslin that the Quorum has all but given up, and feels like they have no control, so must constantly presume the worst. He asks her to talk to them in order to put their fears to rest. This entire time, Gaeta has been mournfully singing in the background. He has a good voice, but, I mean, goddamn. By the end of this episode, I’m sure that the other sick folks in the infirmary are going to want to smother his yowling self with their hemorrhoid pillows. That night Gaius and Tori are in bed, and she lets him know she’s pissed that he’s been “lying” about Roslin’s visions. Gaius insists that Caprica Six told him the truth about the visions during his trial. He’s kept it to himself until now, but is tired of Laura’s lies and secret missions. Gaius believes that Roslin uses patriotism as an excuse to keep everyone in the dark. No good ever comes from concealing the truth, and he’s going to keep right on broadcasting it across the fleet. So there.

Laura goes the Quorum of the Boring and tells them she believes in this mission, and has trust in their new allies. She asks them to listen and give their support. In comes Natalie, and everyone in the room gives her the poisonous stink eye that they specially reserve for Toasters. She gives a moving speech, saying that when the rebels started dying for good, without resurrection ships, they began to feel a sense of time, as if each moment held its own significance. The rebel cylons have realized that for their existence to have value, it must end. To live meaningful lives, they must die and not return. The one flaw that we spend our lifetimes distressing over: mortality (zoom in on Roslin for dramatic effect) is the one thing that makes humans whole. It was destiny for Kara to find the basestar. At this point, Starbuck has a flashback to the hybrid’s message about the opera house, and how she will be the harbinger of death. “Our destiny, our future; it begins here,” Natalie finishes. She thanks the Quorum for listening.

That night Roslin, Athena and Caprica Six once again dream of Hera in the opera house. Laura sees Gaius turn around in a light-filled doorway right before she wakes. Athena Sharon sees Caprica Six pick up her daughter and walk away with Gaius, doors closing behind them with a sense of finality. Sharon wakes with a horrified start to her little two year old daughter, standing beside the bed. “Bye-bye,” says Hera, in a frankly v.v. creepy fashion.

Because we are not allowed to forget for even a split second that Roslin is dying of cancer, she is getting another treatment when Starbuck comes to visit. Kara asks if the rumors about Roslin’s visions are true. Then she quotes the hybrid: “A dying leader shall know the truth of the opera house.” “What did you say?” asks a shocked Laura. “About the opera house?” Upon learning that the hybrid’s been chatting about her visions, Roslin decides she’s got figure out what the frak is up. She asks Starbuck to help her. Meanwhile, Natalie tells Leoben and the Sharon model that she’s changed her mind about their “alternate” plan of taking humans hostage. Her talk with the Quorum has made her believe that deceiving humans out of suspicion and fear is wrong. She also wonders if the Final Five haven’t come forward because they’re too busy judging the cylon rebels and deciding if they’re worthy. Leoben’s pretty sure it’s too late to convince the newly-autonomous Centurions not to carry out the alternate plan. He’ll try to coax them into trusting the humans, so they decide to have Natalie go stall Adama in the meantime. Over on Galactica, Gaius is swiped from his cult love nest and led by soldiers to waiting Raptor. Roslin’s waiting for him, and she readily admits that she’s been sharing visions with Sharon and Caprica Six. She also lets Gaius know that the baseship hybrid spoke of an opera house and a dying leader. Guess what? Gaius gets to go along on this little factfinding mission because he is in the visions, too. Gaius’ hi-larious expression: “Oh goody!”

Athena Sharon finds her daughter working on a coloring book. When Sharon takes a look at the drawings, she finds that Hera has filled it with colorful pictures of Six, as well as the number 6. “Why? Why??” Sharon asks in horrified shock, but when she looks up, Hera has disappeared out of their quarters. Sharon chases her down the hall, calling Hera’s name in a panic. The scene is beautifully interspersed with cuts of the opera house, imitating the dream visions. Sharon comes across demoted!Tyrol working on some wiring, and he gets up to help her look for her daughter. Finally little Hera walks out into a corridor and smack into the path of Natalie, is being escorted by Tigh to see Adama. The child walks right up to the Six, who smiles and puts her hands reverently on Hera’s cheeks. And right about then, Sharon arrives, pulling her gun. “Get your hands off of my child!” she shouts. Natalie stands up in alarm as the soldiers escorting her draw their guns. It’s a standoff. Hera clings to Natalie’s leg, and Sharon orders Tyrol to take her. Slowly the Chief picks up the little girl and takes her off down the corridor. Sharon flashes to her visions of the opera house, picturing Six walking away with Hera, the doors slamming behind them. “You’re never going to take my child,” Sharon says in an emotional voice. “We didn’t come here to,” Natalie replies. Oh, Sharon. You of all people should know that Natalie’s not in your vision. You’ve got the wrong frakkin’ Six! But that doesn’t matter. Sharon’s so worked up from having seen her vision almost come true that she shoots Natalie point blank in the chest. The Six falls to the floor.

Meanwhile, Roslin and Baltar are flown over to the baseship by Helo. Leoben and a Sharon model take them to the inactive hybrid, and Roslin orders it plugged in so that she can get some answers. The Sharon fiddles with some wires. Suddenly active, the hybrid gathers a ragged, horrified breath, and instantly she arches out of her bath o’ goo and screams, “JUMP!!” Blam. Just like that, the baseship disappears from the fleet, taking Roslin, Helo, Gaius, and a mess of human soldiers with it. Where have they gone? We’ll have to wait until next week to find out. Frak!