Doctor Who: Turn Left (Episode 411/3111)

I was like you. I used to be you. You traveled with him Donna. You traveled with the Doctor in a different world… He died underneath the Thames on Christmas Eve but you were meant to be there. He needed someone to stop him; that was you. You made him leave. You saved his life.

These next three episodes give us the final arc of the season. They also give us the ultimate in fandom continuity tests. Seriously, it’s as if RTD decided that since he’s leaving, he’s going to remind us of all the stuff he’s accomplished over the last four seasons. It’s one large LOOK AT HOW AWESOME I AM, complete with capslock. I’m Canadian, and we do passive aggressive like nobody’s business, and that’s what I’m sensing here as RTD prepares to hand over the reins to Moffat.

Oh yes, and the moral message for the week: do not listen to your mother. It's a time-honoured one in the new Whoniverse.

Now, I know this episode is all about alternate universes, but it seems we’ve crossed over from the Whoniverse to the Whedonverse, as the market the Doctor and Donna are in looks more like something out of Firefly.

I should mention that this is the annual Doctor-lite episode but unlike previous years, it isn’t a companion-lite episode. This is fine with me because I started the recap on the Friday before the finale aired in the UK, thus Tennant and I still aren’t on speaking terms. On the other hand, it’s impossible not to love Donna, under any circumstances.

It’s a day of enjoyable shopping, drinks and overall fun. Somehow, I think it’s going to be the last of the season. While the Doctor negotiates for what I’m calling a porcupine-apple, Donna gets asked if she wants her future read. At first, she’s wary considering the whole lesson about spoilers in The Library, but when she’s told it’s free for redheads, she takes the offer. Personally, if someone were to work that hard to try and get me to let them read my future, I’d run in the other direction. They either want to bilk me or they’re going to tell me that I have terminal cancer. No fortuneteller works that hard otherwise.

Donna falls for the faux-fortuneteller’s fawning, and starts telling the woman her life story. She doesn’t realize that all the faux-fortuneteller is only interested in is how Donna and the Doctor hooked up (definitely not like that). Even though Donna begins with their meeting, the faux-fortuneteller makes Donna trace her life back to the moment that she made the decision that eventually led her to the Doctor. It has nothing to do with her job at HC Clements, but we get a flashback to it anyway, just to make me disappointed with Donna.

Unlike my not speaking to Tennant, Donna totally makes up for it in the awesomeness of the rest of this episode. Catherine Tate better get nominated for something for her stellar work this season, is all I’ve got to say. Anyway, the actual decision that eventually led to her meeting with the Doctor, happened six months before, when her mother wanted Donna to take a job with copying business run by Mr. Chowdry, but Donna chose the HC Clements job instead. To go to HC Clements, she turned left towards her future with the Doctor, instead of turning right, away from it, giving us the title of this episode.

The faux-fortuneteller wants to know why Donna made that decision but Donna doesn’t know. I do.

Donna’s now picked up on the evilness of the faux-fortuneteller, as something, creepy, crawly and easily killed with Raid, climbs up on her back. Thus, we flashback to the all important signal, and Donna chooses to turn right.

New Who Credits

Oh, and let me add now, that this was definitely the episode where Lucius Petrus Dextrus got everything right, but don’t worry, Evelina gets her turn shortly. Since there is something on Donna’s back now, it makes me wonder whether Lucius was seeing it, or predicting it.

Donna is celebrating her promotion with Mr. Chowdry. It’s Christmastime and Donna’s psychic friend, who apparently saw Earl Mountbatten’s ghost at a boat show, a joke which is a level of tacky previously unsurpassed by anyone on this show, sort of sees the bug on Donna’s back but then Racnoss’s star arrives and blasts the hell out of London, distracting everyone.

The psychic friend is far more focused on the bug than on the spiders intent on destroying the world and runs away from Donna. Thus we have incident number one where Donna affects the outcome of the world.

Donna rushes towards the destruction, giving us a glimpse of the Donna we know and love, telling us she’s still there, just without the impetus of the Doctor. Unfortunately, she isn’t going to get to meet him, because as the army shoots down the star, the Doctor drowns the Racnoss but he doesn’t have Donna there to stop him. The whole idea of someone stopping a Time Lord out of control was my favourite motif last season, and I’m thrilled to see it play such a large part here.

Donna sneaks into the thick of things, only to see a member of UNIT (as made clear by the red beret) report that the Doctor was killed when he saved the world. Let’s see, considering where the Doctor was emotionally during this time: having just lost Rose, feeling utterly alone in the universe as he has no home, and sort of pointless because he can’t keep a rift open long enough to say more than “Rose Tyler” it’s no wonder he made like the Master in “Last of the Time Lords” and decided not to regenerate. The UNIT soldier says it was too quick for him; I say it was his decision. Discuss amongst yourselves.

Dramatically, the stunt-Doctor’s hand (as it’s clearly not Tennant; sorry, we’ve seen enough close-ups of it over the last three years to be able to call foul when it’s really not him) falls out from under the sheet, only to drop the sonic screwdriver. That may not be the real Doctor under that sheet, what comes running down the road is 100% the real thing except the hair colour.

While I’m completely ecstatic to see Rose Tyler again, one thing I do love about the balance of this episode is that she doesn’t steal it out from under Donna. This is Donna’s story and Rose is just vessel to help the current companion get back to the right place. This is Rose’s big scene in this episode, where her grief and frustration at losing the Doctor after getting so close to finding him, is apparent.

She knows it’s wrong for her to even be in this universe, but she’s there with a purpose, which was just driven away to be dissected by UNIT. Thus Rose becomes the equivalent of the Doctor in this episode, and starts by refusing to give her real name.

The focus then shifts back to Donna, as Rose asks Donna’s name and then stares at her back. Donna flips out and tries to see what Rose is looking at, only to turn back and find Rose has disappeared. Okay, in all fairness, Donna doesn’t know how significant that meeting was, or that Billie Piper either forgot how to do Rose’s accent or just had major dental surgery and is still concerned more about herself at the moment. This is typical of the Donna we first met, which is a little bit of character continuity I just love.

Since a good portion of London had the hell blasted out of it, Mr. Chowdry can no longer afford a personal assistant. Donna takes being fired in typical Donna fashion – a phrase which here means, yelling about a tribunal (although, if the “wandering hands” comment was true, then she has a right), and completely ignoring the realities of the situation. While she reads her letter of termination, Royal Hope Hospital is taken to the moon by the Judoon.

The staff is watching the news reports about the hospital while Donna steals office supplies and ratting out a co-worker for stealing money. If there’s one thing Donna can always do, it’s make a memorable exit. Her exit is more interesting than the return of the hospital, since her former co-workers are watching her, not the hospital.

Later, Donna’s at home with her grandfather and Sylvia. Sylvia’s rummaging through the box of stolen office supplies (including a stapler labeled “Bea”) and finds a raffle ticket while Donna and Wilf (who has figured out all about the evil aliens trying to take over) watch the news about the Royal Hope. Because the Doctor wasn’t there to stop it, everyone died except the douchebag who tried to take all the credit for saving everyone in “Smith and Jones.” At least he gives Martha credit for saving him.

Sylvia wins the worst mother of the year award because of how well she takes Donna’s loss of employment. “I’ve given up on you,” Sylvia tells her. Ouch. No wonder Donna hides all her insecurities with blustering with a mother like that.

The douchebag has even worse news to deliver than the death of Martha. Sarah Jane Smith was at the hospital but was killed as she tried to stop the MRI machine from killing everyone. The wrong Smith was at the hospital. They really needed John Smith.

Because of the Smith mix-up, not only was Sarah Jane killed, but also Luke Smith, Maria Jackson and Clyde Langer. OMG, the entire cast of The Sarah Jane Adventures is dead, other than K-9 and Maria’s dad, who, if you don’t mind me being tackier than the Mountbatten comment earlier, is really hot.

Donna goes out for a walk and we get that scene that was all over the internet faster than startlet’s porn tape. Rose, clearly using some form of technology as shown by the flash of light, appears out of nowhere, in front of Donna. Rose lies about how she got there, and still refuses to give her name, which is so how the Doctor behaves when he meets a new companion.

Donna isn’t fooled. She remembers meeting Rose, and she’s getting even more freaked out by everyone always staring at her back. In yet another parallel with the Doctor, Rose dispenses good advice which is baffling to the hearer. Rose tells her that the raffle ticket from work will win Donna a luxury Christmas break, outside of the city of London and that Donna should use it. Donna does her best Greta Garbo and demands that Rose leave her alone.

Donna may be creeped out by some unknown woman knowing about the raffle ticket, but she still follows the advice and uses the raffle ticket prize to escape London. The Noble family’s luxury hotel make me sad, as it’s the same set they used in an episode of The Sarah Jane Adventures and now, thanks to Donna never meeting the Doctor, the whole bunch of them is dead. I’ll just cheer myself up by thinking of how hot Maria’s dad is and he’s not dead in this timeline.

On Christmas morning, while Donna is preparing for what looks to be a happy Christmas, the Titanic blows up London. I’m guessing it hit Buckingham palace since the Doctor wasn’t there to inspire Kylie Minogue to drive a forklift through Max. You know, if there wasn’t context to that sentence, I’d have to say it’s the strangest thing I’ve ever typed, which is quite an accomplishment considering I’ve now covered two seasons of Doctor Who and Torchwood.

Great, I can’t even distract myself with the hotness of Alan Jackson anymore because now he’s dead along with most of the South of England! I can distract myself with Donna’s laughable comment that perhaps the Titanic falling was a sequel. While the Noble family watches London burn I start writing the script for Titanic: Part Deux in my head.

Also, Donna’s getting the evil eye from the hotel’s maid because she can see the bug on Donna’s back. While the maid may think the bug is weird, I’m finding it weirder that the actress playing the maid is the twin sister of David’s girlfriend on another show I recap, Numb3rs. Forget Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon and let’s try Six Degrees of Shows Spy Recaps! That was a bit meglomaniacal, wasn't it?

All I can say, or Wilf can say for that matter, is that the raffle ticket was the best Christmas present ever. That is, until the family is told they have to move to Leeds as part of the massive relocation. The neighbours want the refugees there as much as Donna wants to be there, a phrase which here means not at all. The house the Nobles are now living in with several other families was repossessed when the owners missed one mortgage payment. There’s a sub-prime mortgage joke to be made here but that would also be tackier than the Earl Mountbatten line earlier.

When Donna’s confronted by a neighbour about the predicament of the original owners of the billet they’re now living in, Donna shouts back. “Sweetheart, come one, you’re not going to make the world any better by shouting at it,” Wilf tells her.

“I can try,” Donna replies. I totally applauded when Donna said that. It’s so quintessentially Donna’s view of the world before she met the Doctor.

Things look even more hopeless as the US, which was supposed to bail out the UK, is devastated when 60 million people turn into Adipose. Australia must be next.

The longer they’re in Leeds, the more and more despondent Sylvia becomes. Giving up on her daughter was just the first part; now she’s given up on everything. While I would usually ignore Sylvia as she bugs the heck out of me, she does make this week’s requisite bees disappearing line. Well, if you’ve figured that’s the main hint of what’s to come at the end of the season – you’ve got to wait until next week.

The house is overcrowded but despite some initial tension, all the families get along well. There’s even a group sing-along of Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody.” Nothing says bonding like Freddie Mercury. Wilf’s comment about “war-time spirit” is a good explanation for all the camaraderie but it’ll take a dark turn later. Right now, the army is busy trying to shoot out all the ATMOS cars. (I won’t say ATMOS system as that is a tautology.)

The soldier shooting at the ATMOS points his gun at Donna, as he’s afraid of the bug on her back. Wow, he’s afraid of a bug after everything that has happened? Maybe giving him a gun wasn’t the brightest idea there.

While Wilf defends his granddaughter, Donna is distracted by a flash of light. Despite her mother’s warnings, she heads off to meet Rose. Rose explains about the Sontarans as the sky lights up, restoring the atmostphere. So, who lit it up and saved the world? Torchwood 3 did and while Jack has been shipped off to the Sontaran home world, Gwen and Ianto died. OH HELLS NO, RTD, YOU DID NOT JUST KILL MY FICTIONAL WELSH BOYFRIEND, DID YOU?

Donna picks up on the whole wearing the same clothes and not saying her name thing, and wants to know why.

Instead of answering, Rose explains how this universe is wrong because Donna never met and only dreams about the “tall thin man [with] great hair, some really great hair.” I’d say she forgot adorkable, but I’m still not speaking to Tennant. She tells Donna of her role in saving the Doctor’s life, in the quote with which I began this recap, and it causes Donna to flashback to that moment where she tells him, “You can stop now.” It’s my favourite moment of “The Runaway Bride” because it’s the moment, to me, Donna really became a companion.

Donna refuses to see her significance, even when Rose pulls out that old Whoniverse motif that the darkness is coming. Watching Donna cry out that she’s “nothing special” after everything we’ve seen her do this season, is heartbreaking.

Because of the consistent character development in Rose and the degeneration of Donna into what was always under the surface of the harping fishwife we first met, is why this scene is my favourite in this episode. Rose is no longer the girl Queen Victoria chastised for being too irreverent. She’s there with a purpose, to save the world, and realizes Donna is the “most important woman in the whole of creation.” She’s there to help Donna, not to win a bet, or see some something amazing. Rose Tyler has finally grown up and I love it. But the performing post dental surgery, or whatever caused that lisp, I could do without.

As for Donna, she insists she’s nothing, just tired, yet still manages to mock Rose with aplomb. She refuses to go with Rose, but Rose isn’t concerned. In three weeks, something will happen that will bring Donna to Rose instead of Rose following Donna and it’s something to do with Wilf’s telescope. With that, Rose leaves her with her most Doctor-like line to date:

Rose fades away, leaving Donna, speechless. Usually, I’d make a joke about that, but now isn’t the time.

The war-time spirit soon turns to the other side of the war, as all the immigrants, including the Italian family the Nobles live with are taken away to a “work camp.” Wilf is crying as the Italian family departs, as he knows what’s to become of his sea-shanty-singing partner (say that ten times fast) and Donna chases the truck carrying her friends down the street in protest. I guess after the southern part of England was destroyed the BNP must’ve taken power.

Inside, Sylvia’s completely shut down, which is depressing for Donna but a relief for your recapper as I want to slap her every time she opens her mouth. Like now when she confirms that Donna’s always been a disappointment. She couldn’t just stay catatonic, could she?

Donna tries to discuss her feelings of uselessness with her grandfather, but he’s distracted. Unlike Sylvia, he’s distracted by something far more important than wallowing in self-pity as all the stars are going out.

Spurred into action, Donna is finally ready to go with Rose. Apparently, Rose is working with UNIT, just like the Doctor did years ago, but I’m still upset that there’s no Ross! Oh, and Rose tosses out another couple of comparisons between herself and the Doctor; she doesn’t want to be saluted and she talks in baffling technobabble.

While we don’t get Ross, we do get Captain Marissa Magambo, who is capable of condescension and appreciation in one line. That is talent. We’ll get to that later, as what Rose has been working on with UNIT is time travel, with the help of the dying TARDIS. While, if it’s possible the TARDIS looks downright pitiful, I like how it’s obvious that Rose has kept the key on her person since we saw her last.

Rose convinces Donna to step into the TARDIS and Donna’s reaction is much more like the Donna we know, not this beaten down woman convinced she’s useless. While Donna is impressed, the inside of the TARDIS, without the lights and the Doctor, seems just a little bit smaller, but this timeline’s Donna wouldn’t know that. To her, it’s still wonderful.

Explaining the history and the purpose of the TARDIS (and about the Doctor being the last of the Time Lords), is another Doctor-like trait Rose takes on for this episode.

She tries to boost Donna’s self-confidence by telling her, “He thought you were brilliant.” I’m a little confused as to how Rose knows this. Plus, since she knows what he was thinking even though he’s dead and they haven’t reunited, I’ve either found a plot hole, or Rose still has a bit of the TARDIS inside her or – oh, my head hurts, so I’m putting this down to the wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey explanation. Also, then I might have to think about which person (or people) she’s referring to in the past tense. Okay, I don’t want to think about that either.

And in a little bit of fanservice for the shippers out there, Rose doesn’t answer the question Donna asks about the nature of her relationship with the Doctor.

Instead, she distracts Donna by showing her bug on her back. I think Donna’s reaction to a big ugly creature, that changes time and the path of the universe, is a little more restrained than mine would be in the same situation. Drugs and a straightjacket would be a definite necessity.

Donna’s still convinced that she’s never done anything so important as to change time, and rejects Rose’s explanation. She thinks that she’s just a host to the time-bug, but Rose gives us a whole other thing to ponder. There are strange readings coming from Donna, not just the time bug; thus the universe needs both the Doctor and Donna Noble. Hold on, so not only should Donna have turned left instead of right, but also there’s something else emanating from her? WTF? I don’t think wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey will cover this one and I’ll have to wait for the finale.

In order to fix the current timeline and not confuse me the audience more, Donna Noble has to travel back in time and make herself turn left at 10:01 in the morning. No matter what happens, Donna must make herself turn left at that time. I love how Rose just ramps up into superfast talking, like the Doctor would when he’s about to solve a problem.

Oh yes, and she’ll need a few things to help her, as Captain Magambo explains. Remember what I said about being condescending and appreciative, here it is: “Keep the jacket on at all times it’s insulation against temporal feedback. This [watch] will correspond to local time wherever you land. This is to combat dehydration.”

While the electric guitars of hope play, Donna, escorted by Rose and an armed guard (which serves no other purpose than looking tough on screen), steps back into the 360 degree mirrors, which is the humans’ lame attempt at a TARDIS. Everyone’s uncertain if it’ll work but Donna knows how to change her own mind – have an argument with herself.

Just as Donna’s about to disappear, she’s happy. She says it’s because the whole dying thing Rose mentioned earlier is really just the changing of the timeline. I’m certain it’s because Donna Noble feels that her life finally has a purpose. She wants to help create a better world, the Doctor’s world.

At least, I hope that’s it because all Rose has to say is “I’m sorry,” just as Donna is sent to correct her turn signal.

Donna’s overjoyed to find herself at the critical moment in time, except she’s cutting it too close and has only 4 minutes to run half a mile.

We have quick cuts between the past Donna in the car and the current Donna running towards her future with the Doctor. A truck which passed by at the beginning, passes by the Nobles’ car and current Donna realizes she won’t make it in time. Knowing herself (and flashing back to Rose’s prediction), she does the only thing she can think of to make her past, impatient self, turn left, and throws herself in front of the truck, causing a traffic jam.

As the screaming and aftermath of the accident reaches the past Donna, Rose comes and stays with the current Donna. This should be old hat for Rose.

While the past Donna turns left, Rose leaves a two word message for the Doctor. Come on, we all know what it is, so the whispering thing is unnecessary!

Somewhere in between the destruction of the other reality, back to the Doctor's universe, I think there's a whole essay to be done about how the Doctor's universe, is really the closest thing to heaven in the athiestic Whoniverse.

Donna comes back to the faux-fortuneteller’s room, screaming, as the time-bug falls off her back, and the horrible alternate universe reverses itself, literally. The faux-fortuneteller is terrified at Donna’s strength and demands to know what she is (and what she will become). Speaking of demanding to know what someone is, it’s about now (yes, mock me for taking the entire episode to figure it out), I realize the faux-fortuneteller was Chantho last season. That’s twice this actress has made an appearance in episode 11. I wonder if it’ll be a tradition.

The Doctor arrives at this moment; I guess having lost out in the bartering for the porcupine-apple, he came looking for his companion.

The Doctor examines the time-bug, which was a part of the trickster’s brigade. (We saw those in my favourite SJA story! Why is it my favourite? It heavily featured Maria’s hot dad, who is now alive again, along with my fictional Welsh boyfriend. Yay! Donna would be thrilled to know she saved such hotness.)

The Doctor and Donna don’t explain away the whole retconning of separate worlds being sealed off (otherwise I wouldn’t have needed tissues for “Doomsday” ) , but they do comment on the how worlds have been created around Donna, like in The Library, and how coincidentally he meets her, then meets Wilf , only to wind up playing charades with Donna shortly thereafter. He theorizes “It’s like something’s binding us together.” Well, that was a big old hint that doesn’t help me solve anything. Talk about useless!

The insecurity that runs so deeply in Donna makes a reappearance as she insists she’s nothing special. “Yes you are; you’re brilliant!” His echoing of Rose reminds Donna of the message she has to deliver, but really, doesn’t the Doctor just say what everyone thinks? Hasn’t Donna been a breath of fresh air this season?

While Donna tries to remember what Rose said about the stars going out, the darkness and the danger to every world, what she does remember is those two little words, which will change the Doctor’s universe: Bad Wolf. I’d hyperlink that, but there aren’t enough spoiler warnings in the world to justify it.

In truth, the Doctor had an inkling even before Donna said “Bad Wolf” that it was Rose. What other blonde in the Whoniverse would know that much about the Doctor and parallel worlds?

The Doctor runs from the faux-fortuneteller’s room to find the market covered in signs saying “Bad Wolf.”

Inside the TARDIS the cloister bell rings, indicating either the end of the universe or the return of Peter Davison.

Next week: Why I haven’t been talking to Tennant.