So You Think You Can Dance: Two of 12 Voted Off Live (Episode 415)

We begin our results show with a group hip-hop dance set to a Ne-Yo song. The choreography is engaging right off the bat, and I correctly guess that this is a Tabitha and Napoleon effort. The gang is decked out in red satin jackets with sleeve piping that glows in the dark. It's a neat effect when the lights go out, although I prefer actually being able to see the dancers. Thankfully, the lights aren't off for long and we're treated to an enjoyable routine. It's filmed much better than last week's Cabaret number, and we can actually see what's going on and appreciate the movements. It's good when the editors lay off the uppers.

Cat mentions the national tour for the first time, explaining that the top ten go on the road this fall. The tour is coming to Toronto, but I really don't see the point in watching dancing in an arena. If they were playing a small venue, I'd be all over that, but paying to watch them on a jumbotron doesn't really appeal. The fact that the top ten go on tour is another factor that I'm sure leads to Comfort and Thayne's demise, since they don't have a bunch of great routines to perform on tour like the other teams.

Nigel lets us know that Philip Chbeeb has agreed to a dance-off with Robert Moraine, who miraculously is coming back again, despite Nigel's assholish treatment of him. But hey, national TV beats the boardwalk, no matter how many childish judges you have to deal with.

The first two couples on stage to learn their fate are Comfort and Thayne, and Katee and Joshua. If I were Comfort and Thayne, I'd be awfully tempted to tell Cat to just cut to the chase, since everyone knows they're bottom-three bound. Sure enough, they're the first team to have to dance for their lives. (It would definitely up the ante on this show if there was a hit squad waiting backstage for the losing team.) Mia rightfully says it was inevitable, and adds that America has been trying to tell them something and they're not listening. See, I don't know if they're not listening -- I think they've simply both reached the highest they can currently go. I have no doubt they've been working their toned butts off, but right now they just don't have the skill of the other teams.

Next are Jessica and Will, and Chelsie and Mark. As the clip of Mia telling Will he needs a new partner is played, Will gives Jess a big squeeze. Aww, he seems like such a genuinely nice guy. Cat attempts to fake us and the dancers out, but Chelsie and Mark are safe, to the surprise of no one. Mary is distressed that Jessica and Will are in the bottom three, and pledges to fight for them. I'm sure Comfort and Thayne are thrilled backstage. We also see Debbie Allen in the audience, and yes, yes, we know, she's Will's mentor.

Speaking of Ms. Allen, I was out at a bar recently and the song "Fame" came on. You can always gauge the ages of the people present by seeing how many helplessly (it's a Pavlovian response) launch into the "You want fame? Well, fame costs, and right here is where you start paying -- in sweat!" monologue at the appropriate point in the music. The younger folks are the ones who've never heard of Leroy, Bruno, Coco, or Mr. Shorofsky, and are staring at us with puzzled expressions.

Kherington and Twitch, and Courtney and Gev are the last two couples left. Courtney and Gev are extremely relieved to be safe, and Twitch and Kherington handle their first turn in the bottom three with class. Nigel rambles about consistency and how no one is safe. Then he tells them they might be safe this week, but maybe not next week. So really, why are we even making them dance? Let's send Comfort and Thayne home and get on with our lives. They could at least pretend as if they haven't made up their minds already.

The guest professional dancers are three principals from the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theatre, and they are phenomenal. The three men are all shirtless and clad in tight black pants. Needless to say, it's a good look for them, and they soar and leap around the stage beautifully in turn. Modern ballet at its best, and it gets a standing O.

This is followed rather ignominiously by that whole Snuggle dancing on the street thing, which I usually fast forward straight through. It's the same shit, but this week in the different pile of Venice Beach.

Dancing for their lives time! Comfort gives what I think is one of her better hip-hop performances, but obviously it's far too little, far too late. Thayne does his emo contemporary to OneRepublic, and he's good, but it's really the same thing every week from him. Jessica, in an alarmingly boob-exposing mini dress, does a good contemporary routine, but I was hoping she'd really knock it out of the park.

Will -- shirtless, because his momma didn't raise no fool -- does a tribal-inspired number that is rhythmic and compelling. He's going nowhere. Apparently, OneRepublic knows where the bodies are buried in Nigel's backyard, because Kherington is also dancing to them. It's a nice contemporary routine that has a great twirling segment, and she's the best of the women in the bottom three. Twitch finishes up with a hip-hop piece where he's a conductor. It's a very good piece, I think.

While the judges deliberate, Katy Perry performs "I Kissed a Girl," picking up the mantle of annoying fake lesbian chic that t.A.T.u left lying around in 2003. I admit the song is catchy enough, but Katy is no Jill Sobule.

After Katy and her faux sapphic desires have vacated, the women are brought forward for judgement. Kherington is immediately told she's safe. The judges were disappointed in Jessica and thought Comfort did a great job, but Jessica is safe, which I think is definitely the right call. Comfort gives the standard speech about how awesome the experience has been, and since she surely knew she was going home, she's in good spirits.

Time for the guys. Nigel tells Twitch he's glad Twitch was in the bottom three, which causes Twitch to pinch his face up in surprise and possibly annoyance. However, Nigel then waxes poetic on Twitch's awesomeness, and he's not going anywhere. Will is up next, and in a big twist, he's send packing. Ha, ha! No, not really. He's safe as houses, and Thayne is unsurprisingly bidding us adieu. Cat leans down and slings an arm about Thayne's shoulders and he cheerfully gives his version of the standard issue goodbye speech. He's grinning like nobody's business, and seems like a super sweet guy. I have to say that I truly liked each and every one of the top twenty contestants. A really nice bunch of kids. God, I feel old saying that.

So we've got our top ten (Twitch, Kherington, Gev, Courtney, Joshua, Katee, Mark, Chelsie, Will, and Jessica), and my hat is safe from being consumed. Fare thee well, Comfort and Thayne.