Primeval Episode Two

Important Stats:  
Terrifying Dinosaur Count: 0 (Yay!)
Anomalies: 1
Number of Pranks Imitating Terrifying Dinosaurs: 1
Number Take-backs Due to Amnesia: 1
Big Beastie: Massive fricking centipede!  

We begin with the definition of an anomaly:  “doorways in time to worlds we can barely imagine.”  As for what the whole goal of this show is: to make sure all hell doesn’t break loose and I don’t get eaten by a terrifying dinosaur.  We also get a recap of last week’s episode.  

Opening credits.

Somewhere in the underground, people are suffering from extreme heat.  In order to cool off, one girl opens a window.  At first, she enjoys the cool breeze, but is promptly molested by giant spider feelers.  Now I would like to point out that both the spider and the feelers are huge, so when she starts screaming, it’s totally justified.  I don’t think even the Orkin man would deal with these things.

At Central Metropolitan University, Connor is trying to impress his geek friends by relaying last week’s tale as much as he can say without breaking the Official Secrets Act.  Someone should probably tell him that the first rule of the Official Secrets Act is like Fight Club; you don’t talk about the Official Secrets Act.  

Of course, his friends don’t believe that he came face to face with Fluffy so Connor has to prove to him that he’s serious.  He does this by swearing on his first edition Empire Strikes Back Poster which is signed by both Mark Hamill and the director.  That’s enough to impress his friends, Duncan and Tom, and me, although I’m more impressed that a university student has that pricy of a collectible.  While his friends and I are impressed, I’m still the only one who believes Connor’s claims.  In fact, the nerds say it best.

In Cutter’s office, Nick Cutter and his scorching hot assistant / pit bull / bloodhound / bodyguard / excuse for slash Stephen Hart are going over Helen’s work, trying to find some reference to the anomalies.  Even though Stephen thinks Helen would’ve told her husband if she’d found them, both Cutter and myself believe that as much as Connor’s friends believe him.  After a brief flashback to his chasing Helen across the campus last week, the pair gets back to work.

Connor’s doing his own research as he wants to prove to Duncan and Tom that he wasn’t lying and, at the same time, impress Cutter.  In order to get this done, he needs the help of Abby, who is dancing around her overheated (as Rex doesn’t like the cold) flat, in her underwear.  When Connor bangs on her door, she takes the time to hide Rex, but doesn’t take the time to put on any trousers.  When I recapped Doctor Who and Torchwood , I noticed the strange condition of Dispantia .  I have a feeling Abby has a very light form of that condition.  It’s not until Connor points out how hot it is in her flat (both literally and figuratively) that she realizes she’s trouser-less.

I have to give props to Connor for not spending too long focusing on the hot chick in her underwear.  Even though Abby’s reticent about helping him explore what he thinks is another anomaly, besides curiosity (and disbelief that Connor can impress Cutter), Connor’s manages to find Rex under Abby’s clever disguise of his cage (she covered it).  Thus, she now owes him for keeping the secret.  Go ahead and tell me that isn’t the real reason she goes along with his hair-brained scheme.

In the Underground, some future victim is spraying for rodents.  Really, he should be wearing a red shirt because he’s so toast.  Therefore, I’m surprised when a rat gets eaten but the future victim is safe, at the moment.  While that was a fun little diversion, I’m still not wavering on the guy’s nickname being “future victim.”

In the Home Office, we get a bit of wrap-up from last week.  Claudia’s reassured that the general public won’t believe a terrifying dinosaur was rampaging though the Forest of Dean.  All they have to do is make sure the teacher stays away from the press.  As for Lester, he muses that it would’ve been easier just to have the teacher and the boy be Fluffy food, and then damage control would be unnecessary.  

Okay, so he says he was joking, but we all know the funniest jokes are the ones with the truth behind them.  Lester also adds that his dislike of Cutter stems from the fact the paleontologist “practically owns the copyright” on the word maverick but he’ll keep him on board not because Claudia wouldn’t mind kissing him again trusts him, but because he’s a subscriber to the whole keep your enemies closer proverb.

Abby and Connor are now off on their camping / guilt trip looking for another terrifying dinosaur.  Abby has a bad feeling about the whole thing and I think Abby should trust her instincts more often.

Back in the Underground, future victim taunts me some more by trying to make me doubt the nickname.  Unlike Abby, I trust my instincts and refuse to fall victim to yet another bait and switch.  When future victim drops his apple on the ground, it looks like a spider is about to attack him, but dashes away.  In truth, I’m more disgusted by future victim picking up the apple and eating it.  If the spiders don’t get him, the germs on the subway floor will.

In a really nifty cut from future victim eating his filthy apple to Cutter eating a decidedly less germy apple, we have our hero look up to see the arrival of Claudia.  Hmm, very subtle on the forbidden fruit analogy there, or not.

So we get to the truth behind Cutter’s obsession with Helen.  It’s not just the desire to know what happened to his beloved.  Nope.  Throw in there that he didn’t believe her when she postulated some things can’t be explained scientifically and how they fought just before she disappeared and you have a mixture of love, loss, belief things aren’t over and guilt.  It’s a recipe for an obsession.

Connor and Abby’s exploratory camping trip is a bust.  It’s freezing and the tent isn’t big enough for two.  Despite this, there will be no huddling together for warmth.  

Plus, Connor is gutted to learn that Abby’s far more interested in Stephen, than she is in Connor.  While the genius is adorkable, Abby’s not blind to Stephen’s scorching hotness.  Not exactly taking his defeat well, Connor even implies Stephen may be gay.  I shake my head that underneath all that geekiness and genius, is a typical guy.

In Cutter’s office, Claudia is the only person I know who can describe a cover-up nicely.  She doesn’t make it sound the like the government is condescending by believing all the public will do is panic.  Considering the media’s portrayal of all crises, it’s always, the world is ending, let’s loot!  The wrong football club won the match, let’s riot!  The Earth has been stolen, let’s loot and riot!

Of course, Claudia’s work day doesn’t get any better (spoiler: it never does) when Stephen arrives announcing that Abby’s texted him about her camping trip with Connor.

Things in the New Forest are moving along very slowly.  Connor’s stuck outside the nice warm tent as twilight turns into darkness.  I’m calling that for what it is, symbolic of Connor’s life thus far, hence the reason he really, really wants Cutter’s approval and Abby for a girlfriend.

I feel even sorrier for Connor as his supposed friends are evil.  They think it’s funny to attach a life-like dinosaur head to a shopping cart and scare the crap out of Connor and Abby.  In my book, that’s a reason for justifiable homicide.

In fact, I’m so happy to hear the siren, thinking Duncan and Tom are about to get themselves arrested for pulling such a prank, that the first time I watched this I completely missed how embarrassing a situation it is for Connor and Abby.  I was too busy thinking that death by 1000 paper cuts is too good for the pair of pranksters.  Of course, not everyone shares my phobia of dinosaurs so perhaps I might be a little harsher than most or not.

In reality, for all of Connor’s plans to show his competence and ingenuity, instead he just looks foolish.  Poor geek, here, have a cookie.

While Connor is feeling like the world’s out to get him in the New Forest as Cutter kicks him off the team, in the Underground, the future victim live up to his nickname and is attacked.

Once Claudia and Cutter meet victim (future victim would now be tense-inappropriate) and his venom-filled bite, they realize the danger’s in the Underground, not the New Forest.  Plus, it was nice enough for victim to babble about monsters, confirming the plotline for this episode. Lester’s more worried about the public relations involved in closing the Underground as opposed to the risk to human life.  Again, fail on the humanity, plus on the logic.

As a fully armed team prepares to head down and search the tunnels, I applaud at the sight of Captain Ryan!  Yay!  I don’t know if I love him because he doesn’t tolerate Cutter’s bullshit or if it’s because I love minor characters who avoid stereotyping themselves.  Seriously, in my opinion, Captain Ryan, in one episode, is better developed than most characters on television.

I don’t think Cutter and Stephen are as fond of Ryan as I am, because they’re bitter he’s in the Underground while they’re stuck above.  Despite their anger, they just don’t understand how cool Special Forces looks while exploring the Underground.  Unfortunately, Special Forces have a problem; they were sent with guns to fight 1290482389734 (actual number) giant spiders.

The spiders attack and while I’m worried about the safety of Captain Ryan, I’m no where near as terrified as I was last week.  Of course, I have a fear of dinosaurs (which, I learned is called ornithoscelidaphobia), not spiders.  Claudia and Cutter are also worried when they hear gunfire in a small, enclosed, concrete tunnel.

Okay, like I need even more of a reason to love Captain Ryan, but I’m given one.  Even while being attacked by spiders and avoiding ricocheting bullets, he’s able to observe enough to be able to accurately describe the conditions in the tunnel.  The air has too much oxygen in it, which is a sign that even the atmosphere of the past can come through an anomaly.  If Lester hears about this, he’d probably be writing up a plan to rid the Earth of greenhouse gasses by sending our air through the anomalies.  We just need really big fans.

While this may solve some carbon footprint issues for the Home Office, this opens up a whole new can of worms for the team, as the atmosphere indicates that the anomaly’s opened to a much earlier time period than the time Fluffy and Snowball were rampaging the Earth.  I just assume all dinosaurs rampage.

While Connor is sitting, moping, and laughter rings in his ears, the team prepares to head down and examine the spiders, personally.  Claudia’ not too keen on Abby’s participation, and neither am I, considering Abby may know about lizards, but not so much about spiders (or scorpions, as Stephen hypothesizes they are).  Also, while one soldier has been injured, victim from earlier now gets a new adjective, dead victim.  Fortunately I’m distracted by other things.

I’m not amused when Abby gets spooked by one the spiders.  It’s so girly that she’s the one to jump.  At least she covers it with something snarky.  “Does anyone have a really big slipper?”

Since there isn’t the shooting or the spider attack this time around, I take the time to look around the big room Special Forces were in earlier.  I have to wonder, why are there are bunk beds in the Underground?  Do the passengers need to get off for a nap because their commute is so long?

The best moment of this whole scene: Stephen stepping on one of the spiders.

Not only do they find the anomaly, but also they find the real big beastie of this episode: a big ass centipede.  I think they’ll need a bigger slipper.

Nick is separated from Abby and Stephen, even momentarily distracting the centipede, who needs a good name of his own – something shorter than centipede.  

Considering last week, Cutter wanted to stay in the past to find his wife, but wouldn’t stay because of Ryan, yet this week is willing to sacrifice himself for Abby an Stephen, I’m beginning to wonder if he’s got a death wish.  Wonder, a word which here means, pretty much know but I’m trying to say it nicely.

In the tunnels, besides dealing with Skip, Cutter’s sure he’s hearing Helen and he’s definitely seeing her shadow.  Since she’s following him around London, I have a feeling that obsession was a really key element in their relationship on both sides.  Speaking of obsession, Stephen’s feeding the slash fanfic writers above ground because he refuses to leave Cutter trapped.  First, he sends Claudia off to find Connor, because he might know more about Skip than the rest of them put together.  Secondly, he heads off, alone to rescue his mentor / friend / excuse for slash, Nick Cutter.

In all honesty, Cutter probably needs rescuing, because he’s ambling around the tunnels without a plan.  As for Stephen, he may be able to track a wounded animal for ten days, but can he track an obsessive Cutter, with only a blow torch to protect himself?

Apparently, the answer is no, because the blowtorch gets sucked into the anomaly’s magnetic field, leaving him defenseless and giving Skip the opportunity to attack.

Above ground, Abby’s lost contact with Stephen, and Claudia’s forced to send a team in after both Stephen and Cutter.  She is not amused.

At that moment, Connor arrives and I’m guessing the smile on his face is gratitude to be back with the team, and hopefulness that he can finally prove to Stephen and Cutter that he’s useful.

Lying on the floor, injured and affected by the venom, Stephen sees Helen Cutter, watching over him.  Even though I think everyone’s figured out by now that she’s real, I like the surreal effect, to try and keep us guessing a little longer.  We go from Stephen and Helen to Cutter, who is still wandering around looking for Helen, only to find the wounded Stephen.  If you were just hit on the head with something, that would be the anvil of symbolism.

As Cutter tries to help Stephen, the injured man has a message.  “She’s waiting on the other side of the anomaly…If you want to know the truth you’ve got to come and find her.”  Helen’s got to be one high maintenance woman since she expects her husband to search through time for her.

The Special Forces team arrives just in time because no matter how much I love Nick Cutter, I don’t believe that he’d be physically capable to get Stephen to the surface.  He’s a big man.  Take that any way you want.

Connor is definitely rivaling Claudia for the worst day at work ever, because just as soon as he assures her that the “centipede on steroids” is harmless, the injured Stephen is brought out for medical help.  I guess Connor didn’t look on his information board for the codicil “except for centipedes named Skip.”

Stephen can certainly upset the entire team in less than thirty seconds, as he babbles about Helen (Cutter denies this) and asks Abby to have dinner with him.  When she’s all coy at first, I yell at the screen.  I wouldn’t care if he’s delirious as there’s only one answer to that question: yes.  Thus when she throws coffee and breakfast in the morning onto the initial offer for dinner, I smile.  Abby’s come to her senses.  She even travels with him to the hospital.  Awww.

Not only was her traveling to the hospital with him sweet, but also it advances the plot as she gets told what has to happen next.  In order to save Stephen, the team needs to collect venom to help the hospital develop anti-venom.  

As Ryan and the Special Forces (which so sounds like an 80’s band name) clear the spiders back through the anomaly, Cutter tells Ryan to make sure Skip doesn’t disappear.  Cutter’s brilliant plan has two parts.  Part one:  Have Connor find something that can be used as a specimen jar.  Part two: invite a very angry centipede to bite him.

Unfortunately, Skip isn’t playing along with the plan because the team can’t find him.  At first, Cutter is staring at the anomaly, clearly planning to go through but Connor comes up with a better solution: look for Skip’s burrow.  In my favourite moment in this entire episode, Connor manages to find the hole and not make a fool out of himself by jumping up and down and yelling.  

This moment is quickly followed by my second favourite moment:  Connor offers to go with Cutter down into the hole.  Even though Cutter agrees, everyone else looks horrified.  

Connor also leaves some Star Trek:TNG stuff to Abby, just in case he doesn’t come back.  She says she’ll treasure them a phrase which here means, sell on EBay ASAP.  Even he picks up on this and says he’d rather be buried with them.  Hee!

Ryan’s smart enough not to leave the two academics to fend for themselves, particularly as Connor’s worried about both “claustrophobia and vertigo, on the same day.”  Hell, even the room they eventually crawl into is confirming everyone’s fear that this mission is dangerous.

The one part of the plan Skip is really into: biting Cutter, right on the forearm.

Skip is as hard to kill as any earwig, since Connor hits it with a stool and Ryan shoots it, yet it seems unfazed.  In fact, nothing seems to hurt Skip, except for his own illiteracy.  

Don’t worry about Cutter!  He’s wearing some sort of weird looking pack on his arm that not only protected him, but also collected the venom to make his scorching hot assistant / pit bull / bloodhound / bodyguard / excuse for slash Stephen Hart all better.

Abby is sitting watch over Stephen and Connor is trying to win the girl through humour.  He jokes that he once felt the way Abby did over someone, that someone being Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  Of course, he fell out of love with Buffy when she started hanging around with Scooby Doo.

He scampers out of the room as Stephen wakes up.  It’s either to tell the doctor that Stephen is conscious, or because he doesn’t feel he can compete with conscious hotness.  

Later, when Claudia visits, Stephen describes how he’s feeling.  “Like I gargled with sand and slept inside a tumble dryer.”  He’s not only hot but clever with words and he’s lying in bed reading?  Is it possible for him to get hotter?  He could be naked.

Claudia’s there for more than just a welfare check.  She wasn’t so easily brushed off by Cutter’s earlier denials, and wants to know about Helen but Stephen thinks he was just hallucinating.  Even though Claudia looks slightly relieved, I’m going to guess it was more wishful thinking than belief that Stephen didn’t see Helen.

Oh Stephen, breaking two women’s hearts in one day.  First, there’s the whole Claudia and Helen thing, then there’s poor Abby, who has realized you’re not taking her out on a date after all.

Back underground, now that the danger of Skip has passed, Cutter silently debates heading through the anomaly in search of Helen.  Connor joins him, bringing him back to his current life.  After confirming that he’s now with the team, Connor has everything he’s ever wanted.  He’s accepted by these people, despite his oddness.  He’s part of a “crime-busting gang,” which was a long-time wish of his.  

The episode ends with Cutter contemplating the past. There’s the past through the anomaly.  There’s the complicated past of his relationship with Helen.  There’s the life he once knew, that he no longer understands.  Despite many of these answers being on the other side of the anomaly, Cutter doesn’t step through it for one simple reason.