House - "Death Changes Everything" (Episode 501)

The Men of House (Entertainment Weekly)

When we last left the gang at Princeton-Plainsboro, Wilson was still coping with the death of his girlfriend Amber (who House knew better as "Cutthroat bitch"), House had three new ducklings - Taub, Kutner and the enigmatic Thirteen - supervised by Foreman, and poor Chase and Cameron have been on the backburner for far too long. Now that we're caught up, let's meet our patient of the week, shall we?

It's unsure at the beginning who our POTW will be. Is it ball-busting Patty, the president of an feminist organization called Women's Majority (who is sneezing on the way to a meeting) or her meek assistant? The assistant is having some insect issues - first on the elevator and now in the meeting - her body is rapidly being overrun by ants. Sadly, she's the only one who sees the ants. Yep, she's our POTW.

After a short season and a long summer, House is back to his old tricks, playing a video game he pilfered from the pediatric ward in coma guy's room. Cuddy enters and tells him that Wilson's back after a two month absence. Cuddy asks when House when he last spoke to his alleged best friend and it's been...well...two months. House took Wilson quite literally when he told him he needed some time alone. Foreman tells House about the new patient and how she ripped off her clothes in front of a room filled with businessmen. House immediately thinks her problems are psychiatric ("Either she cracked under the whip or she started to realize that her evolutional purpose was to arouse men, not to castrate them.") but Foreman tells him that symptoms like anemia and abdominal pain aren't psychiatric. Cuddy assigns the case to another doctor because she says House has more important things to take care of, like attempting to talk to Wilson.

House goes to the ducklings - instead of Wilson - to discuss our POTW's history. The patient has hallucinations, possible memory loss, anemia, a slow heart rate and "a stubborn refusal to shave her pits." She's also done a lot of traveling to eastern Europe, Asia and a variety of third world countries. Foreman and Taub seem more concerned with the House and Wilson situation than the patient. House blows off their questions and tries to come up with more diagnoses for the POTW. Her toxicology screen came back clean, so she's not popping uppers to keep up with her busy schedule (as Kutner posited.) Taub said she could have a B-12 deficiency from eating airline peanuts and chugging diet sodas. Thirteen pipes in and asks why they think this strong career woman is being done in by her career. She thinks she could be hypoglycemic. This gives House what he feels is the perfect opportunity to out Thirteen for having Huntington's, saying she's irrationally defending the patient's strong career even though she's a "glorified grunt" and has no life - just like herself, whose life has been seriously curtailed because of her recently-diagnosed ailment. House decides to test Taub's theory and orders B-12 injections. Thirteen denies she's got Huntington's to her fellow physicians and says House is deflecting his problems onto her, but the boys seem to think she's doing a little deflecting of her own.

When Thirteen comes into the patient's room, she finds her wheeling and dealing in the phone, working on a huge trip to Beijing for her boss that she's been working on for months. She tells Thirteen she's just tired and dehydrated. Thirteen informs her that she's got a B-12 deficiency and orders her back into bed. After she gives her the shot, the patient informs her that she needs a bedpan stat - but it's too late, she is embarrassed to confess that it was too late, she'd had a bowel movement in the bed. Thirteen pulls the covers aside and just sees blood. Oh, that can't be good.

House finally talks to Wilson - about his patient. Wilson says he's leaving. For good. He's resigning and possibly moving away. House says it's a "reaction", but Wilson insists it's a "decision." House says it's the wrong decision as (non-physical) pain fades. Thirteen busts in and tells House about the patient, but he sends her away. Wilson says his pain is not as cliche as House seems to think it is and excuses himself to discuss his cases with the doctor who's taking them over. Yep, House, Wilson's seriously leaving.

Our POTW is getting a colonoscopy by Taub and Thirteen, who thinks it odd that House didn't spend two seconds with her to talk about the patient. Taub told her not to worry and that House would be available after he dealt with his personal issues. The scope proved inconclusive, the patient was bleeding from nowhere. An endoscopy also delivered no results and just then, Kutner came back grinning with the result of one of her the routine pre-procedure tests was positive. She's pregnant. Kutner gives her an ultrasound and asks if she wants the father to be notified. Apparently it could be one of a few men. Thirteen says she understands how it could be hard to sustain a relationship and a career, but she really doesn't. The patient simply has "needs." It's been two to three months since she's been "needy", but the ultrasound shows no trace of a baby. House is consulted, the patient's still getting worse, with no diagnosis in sight. He's obviously distracted, and walks out on the discussion, making a beeline to Wilson's office. He calls his friend an "idiot" and tells him that in six months, when he's over "Amber...burnt sienna" he'll be working at a mobile oncology truck somewhere in Wisconsin. Wilson said he'd need a flow chart to show House how insensitive he's being. He said it's none of his business what he's doing with his life. Foreman and the ducklings burst in and ask about the patient. Wilson informs them that he's moving on. The discussion keeps moving onto Wilson's situation, but House finally tells Thirteen that the patient is pregnant, but the fetus isn't where it's supposed to be. It's in her intestines, which explains all of her symptoms. The baby has to be removed, but the patient will be fine. Thirteen thinks House is being callous and asks what it the patient (who's 37) wants to keep the baby. House insists she doesn't - and insists that Thirteen is letting her disease influence her thoughts about her patients.

Thirteen returns to the patient's room and finds out that she really does have no problem losing the baby. She's got no boyfriend and husband and her career takes up her life. Thirteen looked disappointed that House was right. Meanwhile, House tracked down Cameron and asked her to try to reason with Wilson. Cameron said grief means different things to different people. House said Cameron would listen to her, because she's lost someone too. He asked what she did when her husband died and she said she moved and found a new job, to which House replied "And see how crappy that turned out?"

Chase did the surgery to remove the fetus from the patient's intestines, and it wasn't going well. The patient was bleeding all over the place and her blood pressure was dropping. They finally manage to stop the bleeding and remove the fetus. House went into Cuddy's office to see what she could do to keep Wilson around. Cuddy told him to just listen to him and try to identify with his grief. Cuddy then suggests he apologize for his role in Amber's death. House refuses to admit to any responsibility and feels no guilt. Cuddy suggests he tell Wilson that he feels like crap and just "do something." Foreman goes to check on the patient and finds Thirteen and Taub there, informing him that the patient has a neurological problem that's not a complication from surgery. As Thirteen puts in a pacing wire, the patient passes out. Foreman repeatedly tries to page House, who is ignoring the messages, because he's once again trying to talk to Wilson. He said he was sorry, but Wilson didn't believe him. House says he's going home and won't return until Wilson agrees to stay at Princeton-Plainsboro. He finally checks his messages and the patient's in cardiac arrest. House says his friendship with Wilson is more important than the patient. Wilson says he's got to do what's right for him and House needs to do the same. House leaves his vibrating phone on Wilson's desk and walks out of the hospital.

Cuddy meets with the doctors and tells them that they should do whatever they would do if House were here and says she's got complete confidence in them. Thirteen insists they can treat the patient without House and thinks a diagnosis of MS explains all of the patient's symptoms. Taub noted that MS didn't account for the ectopic pregnancy and said they need a unified theory, which was what House would want. Thirteen reminded him that House wasn't there and MS explains her current set of symptoms, so Foreman ordered treatment for the disease. Cuddy went to Casa House to try and talk some sense into him. She asked if House thought it wise to "bludgeon his friend with guilt" to get him to stay. Cuddy said she wouldn't let him walk away from a patient and House told her to fire him. Cuddy couldn't believe he would risk his career just because he couldn't say he was sorry. Cuddy said House was afraid that if he spilled his guts to Wilson and he still walked away, he would actually appear vulnerable for just one moment in his life. House then slammed the door in her face - because everyone knows she's right.

Thirteen returns to the patient to tell her about the latest diagnosis. She asks where House is and is told that the ducklings worked as a team to come up with the answer. The patient disagreed and told her that House was still the boss. Thirteen tried to relate with her on this point, but the patient said her boss would be fine without her and she was nothing without her boss. Thirteen lied to the patient and told her House believed she had MS. The patient shivered and had developed a slight fever. The MS diagnosis was wrong.

Cuddy had House's cable disconnected in order to get him to return to work. She's even got the remote control from the doctor's lounge - and it's only ten minutes until House's favorite soap. I love that she's playing his game now. She also faked a 911 page to get Wilson to come in (she's withholding his salary history from every hospital in the tri-state area.) She's also setting every TV in the hospital permanently on "The Pottery Channel" unless the boys sit down and talk. Cuddy said it best when she said "Welcome to couples' counseling." Thirteen and the boys are reviewing the video from the patient's surgery. Thirteen seems to believe she could have gotten some sort of infection during the procedure. Taub said that Thirteen's Huntington's could be affecting her in that she is determined to cure the patient without House. Kutner interrupts Taub's rant, because he sees an abnormal growth of nerves in her intestines - or something equally as bad. The bottom line is that they have to go in and get a piece of it for a biopsy. House and Wilson's discussion isn't going well. House continues to announce that Wilson's an "idiot" and Wilson ends up walking away.

Chase refuses to open the patient up again - it's too risky. Thirteen said he'd do it for House, and he agreed. Kutner "thinks like House" and suggests putting a lighted scope in her rectum, finding the bump and pushing it to the surface of her skin, where it can be cut out without having to knock the patient out. Thirteen tells the patient what they're planning on doing and admits there will be some pain involved. The patient asks to talk to House and Thirteen says they know what they're doing. The patient says that her "former boss" didn't send her to Princeton-Plainsboro to deal with House's underlings. (She was fired.) Thirteen was incredulous and promised they'd take good care of her. Before she leaves the room, she can't resist asking the patient why she allows herself to be treated "like a footstool." The patient tells her that the world "needs flunkies" and has no problem with her position. Thirteen can't believe that she could have lost her life without ever living for herself. It's obvious she's not only talking about the patient. She'd rather spend her life "close to the birds" than "wasting it" wishing she had wings. Kutner, Taub and Thirteen do the procedure on the patient. Cameron sees Wilson, who says he's going to miss her. He asks her if House put her up to talking to him. She said he did, but she told him to "go to hell." She does think House is right, however. She says the pain gets easier, but it never goes away, no matter where you are.

The latest test on the patient proved inconclusive, so the doctors were back to the drawing board. They squabble about the new diagnosis and Taub sarcastically says that they're so glad House wasn't around as they "lost their training wheels." Foreman asks Wilson about the patient, as lymphoma was one of the possible diagnoses. He thinks it could be cancer, but he said another specialist could come up with another diagnosis. Wilson's word was good enough for Foreman, and he decided to start the patient on chemo. He then told Wilson that he should leave. Wilson says it's not that he wants to leave, but Foreman said if leaving PP made him even a little happier, that he should go. The chemo was working, and the patient was feeling better - for the first time. She thanked Thirteen, who apologized for her earlier outburst. Thirteen confessed to the patient that she had Huntington's and wanted "to fly" and make sure her life mattered before the disease took full hold on her. The patient told Thirteen that she was applying for a high-powered job running the finance division of an organization. Thirteen was happy that she made a difference in someone's life. House discovered that the nurse's remote control worked fine in the doctor's lounge and was heading off to watch his soap. Cuddy asked him why he thought Wilson was leaving and he again called him an idiot. She had hoped for a little truth in their discussion - even if House had to be sarcastic and House-like to do it. House went into see the patient and noticed her skin looked odd - she looked ten years older. Thirteen said the chemo was working, but House disagreed. He said her bruising was actually diffuse leprosy that she must have gotten on "one of her overseas estrogen tours." She'll be fine with some antibiotics and steroids. Thirteen was visibly disappointed that she was wrong, but even sadder when she found out that the patient was returning to her flunky job - but she was promised a chance to grow and work on some projects. She says that in her role as a mere employee, she mattered. House admired that Thirteen tried to diagnosis the patient without him. She told him she couldn't believe she was going back to her old job. House told her that "almost dying changes nothing. Dying changes everything." This statement gave House and epiphany and he went to Wilson's office to finally apologize. Wilson finally admitted why he was leaving - it wasn't because of Amber, it was because of House. He said he spread misery and manuipulated people - and he has been his enabler for years. He's tired of the games and late night phone calls - and he just can't take it anymore. He concluded "We're not friends anymore." Ouch. Next week, House tries to make amends and hires a private investigator to check up on the staff!