Primeval Episode Seven

Important Stats:
Terrifying Dinosaur Count: 3  
Anomalies: 1
Great Guy Moments: 1 montage
Evil Step-parents: 1
Big Beastie: Deinonychus (AKA: Larry, Curly and Moe)

So, let’s not talk about what happened last week, shall we?   Claudia’s just off on a much needed break after a series of terrible days at work and Captain Ryan’s lying in the sand somewhere sunny, right?  Right?

Okay, so now I’ll focus on the present, where an anomaly has opened in a bowling alley.  I’ve seen cheesy bowling alleys with dinosaur themes before, but this is going way too far on the scale of realism, when one bowler’s ball finds itself in the land before time (as in a long, long time ago, not the movie).

I would almost be amused if the terrifying dinosaurs came out of the anomaly at this moment and chased everyone.  I find the concepts of dozens of people attempting to run in bowling shoes hilarious.  Does that make me a bad person?  Don’t answer that.

We get a pre-title sequence to the title sequence which includes a summary of everything that’s gone wrong in Nick Cutter’s life thus far.  It includes various flashbacks of Helen escaping, Snowball and Fluffy, Skip, Snappy, the Birds and Myfanwy, and finally, Bob as well as a brief run down on the team.  There’s his scorching hot assistant / pit bull / bloodhound / bodyguard / excuse for slash Stephen Hart, geeky Connor Temple, and a former SClub7 member, Abby Maitland.  He also mentions those who work for the government, James Lester and Claudia Brown.  So Nick Cutter is a bit disturbed about Claudia’s break (and Ryan’s vacation even though he doesn’t explicitly mention it) and that Helen is the only one who knows about it, besides himself. Let me sum this all up.

We get a slightly different title sequence which includes a different picture of Lucy Brown and no Captain Awesome Ryan.  Instead, he’s replaced by somebody you’ll wish wasn’t there.  Trust me on that last statement.

We begin where we left off at the end of the last series, with Cutter’s “Oh My God” statement.  He tries to make a mad dash back into the closing anomaly, only to be stopped by Stephen.

While Cutter knows the world has shifted, everyone else on the team thinks he’s picked up a little more crazy in the Permian Era because he’s insisting that Claudia Brown really did exist.  She did, and she does, damnit!  I’m with you on this one, Cutter, don’t give up on Claudia!  Who else am I supposed to use as a vessel to help explain everything?  Who else am I going to admire?  Curse you Haines and Hodges for taking away my favourite characters!  Stephen had bloody well be naked for the rest of series 2 to make up for it!

We get a bunch of exposition as the team explains to Cutter (aka: us) everything that has changed.  Claudia’s job is being done by an Oliver Leek.  You know, when I lived in Scotland, the dinner ladies at uni would but leeks in everything as a filler item.  Not enough vegetables for the recipe: throw in some leeks.  It got to the point that I was so sick of leeks that I would’ve been perfectly happy never to hear of the blood vegetable again.  I only mention this because I don’t think they could’ve found a better name for how I feel about Oliver Leek.

They also have a snazzy new centre called the ARC (Anomaly Research Centre).  I’m a little sad that so much of the action will now be removed from Nick’s office of wonders at CMU, but I guess it makes sense to give them all proper sets since we’re into the second series.  Apparently, they moved from the Home Office “Ages ago” (technical term since it’s the one Abby uses) so I’m going to go out on a limb and say that the anomalies were found slightly sooner in this dimension.  

Even though I’m so focused on Cutter’s pain (as it mirrors my own) I do get a laugh about Lester’s request that someone else call an ambulance for Cutter, as Lester has a meeting (he also implies Claudia was Nick’s imaginary friend).  Oh Lester, don’t ever change.

A bunch of quick edits and camera-tilting tell us what we already know: Cutter’s been thrust into a reality that is not his own and he’s lost.

Castle Cross Shopping Mall:  Nick Cutter may be confused about where he is, but he doesn’t get the luxury of location overlay like I do.  The bowling alley from earlier is in the mall and a ball suddenly travelling back up the lane makes the two security guards on duty suspicious.  While I could go into detail about how one of the terrifying dinosaurs likes to eat bowling pins (not enough wood fiber in his diet), we all know what’s going to happen.  There’s a bunch of scary noises (and incomplete shots of terrifying dinosaurs) but we all know what part of the mall Larry, Curly and Moe love.

Afterwards, they’ll probably go browse at the Marks and Spencer or Top Shop.  

ARC:  It’s big.  It’s shiny.  It’s got personalized lockers, a place for Connor to skateboard and a kitchenette.  It’s got a lot of people Cutter doesn’t know and may (or may not) add a wealth of secondary characters to this new version of Primeval.  Despite this, just like every dinner I had in uni, it was full of something I never wanted.

Even though Cutter has no idea who the hell Leek is, he is quick enough to realize that, like most government work, it’s only necessary to pretend to know who someone is.  This is exactly the tactic Cutter takes after looking around at the new ARC and some of his team, leaving Lester wondering if Cutter’s soon to take a trip to the funny farm, and Connor confused about the realities of the universe.  I know this is supposed to be significant, but I still have to ask, how is this any different from how they behaved in the last series?

By the way, I know that when this originally aired, people were far enough away not to notice (much) but the serious hair change for the team is painfully obvious now.  It seems like on the way back to the ARC, the team stopped for a cut and style.

Connor buys into Cutter’s story that things have changed (except Connor is exactly the same nerd we know and love).  In response to being believed, Cutter says he could kiss Connor.  Now, while I’m sure Connor’s response is cute and funny, it could never live up to what I would want it to be, if I were writing the show.

At the mall, Abby and Stephen are loading up their guns with tranquilizers and Connor is whining that he doesn’t get one.  Considering the number of video games he’s played, I’m surprised he hasn’t been trained to handle a firearm.  For all that’s changed in this new version or reality, one thing hasn’t: they all look to Cutter to figure out what to do next.  They head into the very distinct looking mall, doing their best to imitate the Torchwood Strut.

The first thing they meet is the duty manager, who reports on what happened earlier.  Unceremoniously, Cutter kicks the man out of his mall, and insists that the security shutters not be opened until Cutter says so.  All of this is done without once saying who the team is or what is really going on.  I really appreciate the duty manager trying to call them on it, but the shutter is closed before he can get an answer.

Now it’s time for the heart to heart between Stephen and Nick.  Considering the big reveal about Helen and Stephen’s affair, things are not okay between them.  In fact, I’ve complied a handy little list of things that are wrong between these two, which I’m sure will all be worked out in fanfic.

Needless to say, it’s a very awkward conversation and while I relish every second of it, Connor and Abby look like they’d rather be facing a terrifying dinosaur.

The team checks through the security footage, spotting Curly.  Connor’s all excited it’s a raptor and Cutter thinks it’s beautiful.  Hmm, he thinks it’s beautiful even though it might rip him limb from limb.  Something’s starting to smell like symbolism here.  I just have to say, Stephen’s eye roll and Nick’s “beautiful" comment, is priceless but not possible to screencap as one has to see the whole eye roll to appreciate its humour.  

Suddenly, Curly takes out one of the surveillance cameras and Nick quips, “I said it was beautiful.  I didn’t say it was friendly.”  I think everyone now knows who we really should’ve been looking at.

In the bowling alley, everyone’s got their priorities straight.  Stephen, Cutter and Abby are off in search of Larry, Moe and Curly, while Connor’s off in search of a slushie.  I bet that’s one thing even Connor can’t screw up.

In the back of the alley, Cutter finds the anomaly and is mesmerized by its beauty.  I feel the same way, except I’m not staring at the anomaly.

Oh, by the way, I take back what I said about Connor screwing up getting a slushie.  Moments after he borrows a five from Abby to pay for the thing, one of the raptors (not sure which one yet) turns up.  I guess it wanted a slushie to wash down the security guards from earlier.  Unlike Connor, it doesn’t need to pay for the frozen drink, since Connor gives it his slushie – in order to distract it long enough to get under one of the security shutters and not become the third course in the human buffet.

Stephen wants more firepower to kill the utterly terrifying dinosaurs, thus taking over what would’ve been Ryan’s line and roll in this episode in one fell swoop.  Cutter, on the other hand, refuses to mess with nature and screw up anything else, leading Stephen to wonder about the mental health of Cutter.   There’s a bunch of insisting that he’s all right and I have to agree.

Suddenly, there’s a strange noise but it isn’t the raptor, it’s a hapless cleaner who somehow managed to miss the big honking people-eating dinosaurs.  The B team is sent to get the cleaner out of the mall, while Cutter updates Lester on the raptors.

This gives us a chance to switch back to the ARC and Leek bringing a memo that there’s going to be a public relations manager assigned to the team.  Lester doesn’t want one but I can imagine it’s necessary.  In fact, I think I can even predict what the memo says.

While Lester may have disdain for the general public and be an overall asshat, he isn’t an idiot.  He realizes his life would be much happier if someone else had to explain things like why there are raptors in a mall, or Myfanwy on the golf course, or giant bugs in the tube.

In what looks to be one psychedelic life-sized video game, Cutter and Stephen are attacked by Curly (I’m sure it’s Curly).  Stephen’s stuck protecting himself with some particle board, while Cutter sets up a shot – only to have the gun jam.  Luckily a noise distracts Curly but the angst in this situation is only beginning.  

Stephen clearly doesn’t believe Nick’s claim that the gun jammed.

Watching this as closely as I have to, it’s obvious Nick didn’t do much to fix the gun and I’m going to postulate, that for 5 seconds, everything that’s happened finally caused Nick Cutter to briefly focus all his anger on Stephen.  Helen isn’t there and neither is Claudia, the two people most frustrating him at the moment and Stephen’s the only one left to punish for betraying him.

The B Team escorts the cleaner to the employees’ locker room where Connor’s whining finally gets the better of Abby and she hands him the gun, only to have him play James Bond for a few moments while checking the room for Larry, Curly or Moe.  While Connor and Abby have a bit of a tiff over Connor behaving, well, like Connor, of all the lockers in the place, Moe has to be hiding in the cleaner’s.

And the winner for the most predictable moment in this episode:  Connor shooting Abby with the tranq instead of little Moe.  He does hit Moe on the second shot but of the three unconscious things on the floor (the cleaner, Moe and Abby) Abby is by far the one most hazardous to his health when she wakes up.

As for Cutter and Stephen, the latter is a supporter of my perhaps-Cutter-isn’t-so-keen-to-keep-Stephen-alive theory.  Cutter assures him that if he wanted Stephen dead, he’d shoot him himself.  Keep telling yourself that, Cutter, and while you’re at it, could someone in this damned episode follow my advice?

The tables are turned when Curly (still sure this one is Curly) attacks again, and the gun is still jammed.  My theory, despite this, is not ruined because Stephen quickly fixes it, and shoots Curly moments before it tries to eat Cutter.  I’m not sure if this is a healthy relationship, but they’ve certainly developed a unique way to work out conflicts.

Later, the pair of them is sitting on a walkway (nice edit, avoiding the explanation as to why they dragged Curly’s sleeping form onto an overhead walkway), Stephen and Nick work out their differences.  Stephen admits he was wrong about the gun.  I refuse to admit I’m wrong about my theory.  Nick admits that since Stephen didn’t leave him for Helen, all is good.  Only on television would shooting a raptor repair a fractured relationship.

Connor interrupts this moment of male bonding, by dragging in the unconscious Abby.  Upon taking them back to the locker room, Moe is still there, but the cleaner has vanished.  Duh duh duh!

Cutter orders Connor to take Moe back to the anomaly, but Connor’s more concerned that Moe is just pretending he’s unconscious.  While Cutter mocks the idea, I think Connor has a point.

Dragging Curly back to the bowling alley, Cutter notices some story is really environmentally irresponsible and has left all the radios on.  It’s either that or he’s noticed interference with the signal, which might be useful later.

In my very favourite moment of this episode, once Curly and Moe are in the bowling alley, Connor confesses his concern to his big brother Stephen, that Abby’s going to kill the little twerp when he wakes up.  Stephen just nods and walks away.  

Back in the security room, Cutter, Stephen and Connor realize that Larry is still out there.  They also realize that no one stayed with Abby.  Well, a way to not have Abby to kill you, Connor, is for her to be ripped to shreds by a raptor.  It’s a bit of an overkill, don’t you think?

Cutter and Stephen are stuck following Connor’s directions, and find themselves back in the bowling alley.  Abby’s fine, because this isn’t the end of the season, so it’s not like they’re going to get rid of my favourite characters or something .  Yes, I’m bitter.  How could you tell?

The pair hatches a plan to lure Larry to the bowling alley.  Cutter theorizes that Larry, Curly and Moe are really a mommy, daddy and baby.  There’s a 3 stooges slash joke to be made here, but I don’t want to permanently damage my brain by trying to think of one.

Moe, who is wide awake, chained to the ball return and barking for Larry, is the bait.  The team hopes that they safely return them all to their time, by playing on familial emotions.  The problem is that raptors don’t have emotions.  They are killing machines.  

Am I a bad person for laughing when this happens?

Abby awakens at the most inconvenient time, and there’s a shootout, in which Stephen don’t managed to sedate Larry.  They need a bigger gun.

Stephen’s talking to himself because he’s been arguing all along that they needed to kill the stooges, but Cutter is so afraid of changing anything else, that he wouldn’t let him.  Only when Cutter blows up: over the loss of Claudia, the new ARC, all the other things that didn’t exist before the shift, does Stephen agree not to kill Larry, unless absolutely necessary.

The sound of an alarm alerts them to a new problem: Larry’s escaped through the security shutters.  When some kids in the parking garage (who’ve clearly ignored the get the hell out of the mall warnings) are simply placed there to precipitate awesome montage moments, Cutter and Stephen can hardly refuse, and steal the kids’ parked motorbikes. (Along with Cutter claiming that Larry is a soon to be released toy - they so need that media manager- this scene is pure cool.)

A montage set to Republica’s “Ready To Go” gives Nick and Stephen a chance just to be guys.  I mean, how cool would that be to race through a mall on motorbikes?

They escape in the elevator (after Cutter punches Larry) only to have Larry hitch a ride on the bottom of the elevator.  As if we needed more evidence that this is the guy’s guy episode (the cool new sets, the raptors, the guns, the motorbikes, the punching) Connor comes rushing forward, shooting at Larry.  That last tranq was all he needed, as the raptor falls to the floor.

Connor’s proud of himself, and Cutter thanks him in the most obviously captionable way possible.

Abby’s now up, but sore as hell, both physically and mentally at Connor.  While Stephen and Cutter may be happy Connor had a gun, Abby has completely the opposite reaction.

Once Larry and Curly are back at the anomaly, Cutter insists that he'll take them through, alone.  We all know he’s hoping to set things back to the way they used to be but unless there’s a way to bring Captain Awesome Ryan back from the dead, I’m never going to be fully satisfied that anything can be  right again.

Insisting his team doesn’t argue with his decision, I’d like to say, before I finish watching this scene that I can predict what’s going to happen.

Before the raptors are taken back through, Cutter takes Connor down to the environmentally unfriendly shop to look at the radios.  Whenever they’re tuned to 87.6 on the FM dial, they pick up the anomalies, which could help them build an anomaly detector.  Sure, they preface it with the idea that perhaps the radio station is out, but we all know it’s the anomaly.

This is all fine and great Cutter, but making sure you’ve revealed this to Connor prior to going through the anomaly sort of telegraphs your intention not to come back.  He can say “if” all he likes, but it’s obvious all Cutter is focused on is getting the world to shift back as he knew it.

In the saddest moment of this episode, Cutter describes Claudia Brown to Abby.  It comes across as more of a eulogy than hope and the idea I’m not going to see her again, makes me inexpressibly sad.  

Abby is sympathetic, and it’s sweet but it’s damn well making me tear up.  Seriously, this is my dinosaur show; it needs to stop doing this to me.  What brings me back to reality is that Abby isn’t entirely convinced that the dimension Cutter remembers was real.  I guess it’s understandable, but since I know it was real, it just makes me sadder.  I can yell at the television all I want, but Abby isn’t going to fully believe Claudia Brown ever existed.

On the other side of the anomaly, Cutter cuts the unconscious Larry and Curly free.  He looks at the anomaly for a moment, only to turn and walk away.  He’s a man in the wrong dimension and he doesn’t want to go back only to find himself continually lost.

His plan falls apart when Stephen finds him and scolds him for trying to leave. I can’t think of a better term than scold because it’s the same tone one would take with that super stubborn person in your life, and you’re trying to tell them they’re being an ass, without offending them forever.  

In truth, Stephen is the only one who can talk him out of it.  Captain Ryan, who used to call Cutter on his bullshit, is gone.  Claudia Brown has vanished.  Now the only person left who can talk some sense into Nick Cutter is Stephen and he makes a valid point.  No matter what Cutter does, he may never fix things.  He just might make things worse.  Stephen’s argument is valid, but he doesn’t know the truth of the matter.  The first person in the better part of a decade, other than Stephen (and we all know how that worked out) is gone.  Unfortunately, Stephen doesn’t realize exactly how alone Cutter is at this moment.  Then again, if I wee in Cutter’s place, I wouldn’t require that much convincing.  I’d just need the answer to one question.

“For once in your life, forget about the past,” Stephen tells him.  Well, that’s next to impossible because the past keeps coming back to bite him.

Cutter agrees to head back, but the anomaly starts closing.  While Cutter makes it through unscathed, remember what I said about the past coming back to bite him?  Well, yeah, this time, the past got it a little wrong.

There’s a brief tug of war and the team is winning, when, at the last second, fate intervenes.  Fate, a word which here means the anomaly closes, chopping off Larry’s head.  You see, that’s what happens when you eat your young, Larry, seriously bad karma.

Stephen, limping around, grabs onto Cutter for support.  It’s a weird physical representation for what Cutter’s going to have to do mentally to get through this shift in realities.

Back at the environmentally unfriendly store, all the radio signals have cleared up.  Now the team knows how Helen tracks the anomalies and can find them as soon as they open, instead of waiting for someone to become terrifying dinosaur food.

Now, I know I’ve been distracted by the loss of my favourite characters and the scariest dinosaurs ever (and the ones from Jurassic Park that gave me nightmares) but it’s here I finally realize that Cutter did manage to keep his promise to Claudia.  He said he would figure something out about the anomalies by Monday.  Obviously, because of the events of the last episode, he must’ve missed his deadline, but he’s still managed to make a huge discovery, with the help of the radios, as quickly as humanly possible, which, in essence, was what he promised Claudia.

Cutter calls in his report to Lester at the ARC.  In all his kindness, Lester gives Cutter 2 hours before he’s expected back to meet the new PR man.  Leek corrects Lester and informs him that it’s not a man; it’s a woman (he also cleans his prints off the glass wall with his jacket, which would totally be hilarious if I didn’t detest Leek).

A while after the two hour time limit, Cutter arrives to meet the new PR person, Jennifer – Jenny – Lewis.  And OMGQWTFBBQ!!11!?

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