Chuck: Chuck Versus the First Date (Episode 201)

Handler and Handled So Michael Clarke Duncan is holding Chuck by his angles and holding him parallel to the side of a building many stories up. And Chuck has something called “the Cipher,” which he threatens to drop, so MCD reels him back in and asks him, exactly, who Chuck is. Chuck’s inner narrator starts thinking, “how long have you got?” He tells us about how he has a government computer called The Intersect in his head; MCD gets only that Chuck is sort of with the CIA and the most important security asset in the world. Because that’s what you want to tell the guy hanging you out of a window.

MCD doesn’t believe him, so Chuck tells him that, regardless, there are a few people who will not be pleased with his demise. And who busts down the door but Agents Casey and Sarah. Chuck reminds us that Sarah’s CIA, while Casey’s NSA and not as pretty. Relative, I guess. Sarah and Casey save Chuck, and Sarah asks the age-old question: Why didn’t Chuck stay in the car? Chuck: “It’s NEVER SAFE IN THE CAR.” But it matters not, because though MCD has gotten away, Chuck has the Cipher.

Which, General Lady and Director Man inform us, is the brain for the new Intersect. This is news to Chuck, and he asks what will happen to him. Director Graham tells him that the new Intersect goes online the next day, and Operation Bartowski is at an end. Chuck gets his life back. Outside, he’s still pretty blown away, and he and Sarah wonder what he’ll do next. She tells him that he can do anything he wants to do, despite his girlish screams in the face of danger. Chuck likes the sound of that.

But woe to our geeky hero, Casey’s just got the kill order from Lady General.

Chuck awakens to the sounds of Huey Lewis and the News and “Hip to Be Square.” As is only right. He dances around, wanders down the hall, and walks in on Ellie and Awesome in the shower. He’s all “my eyes, they burn!” And downstairs, the three awkwardly chow down on the aptly named “More Nuts” cereal. Chuck tells Ellie and Awesome that he’s thinking of flexing his wings outside the Buy More. Ellie manages to keep her squee at manageable levels and hugs her bro before sending him off to his doom.

Buy More. Morgan’s got a Call of Duty plan elaborate enough to need blue prints. He is Chuck’s hero. On his way to see Big Mike, Chuck tells Casey how grateful he is for Casey’s help and protection and always catching Chuck when he falls. Casey is, you know. Casey. Big Mike offers Chuck the assistant managership of the store, but Chuck tells the assembled Nerd Herders and Morgan that he didn’t take it. He does have to choose someone for the job, though. Morgan’s down with moving beyond the Buy More, but he wants to know where they’ll work instead. Chuck stumbles over the “we” part, and Morgan, not meanly, says he knew Sarah would get to Chuck sooner or later and break up their duo. He thinks it makes sense Chuck would choose Sarah, because she is unironically awesome.

The ironically awesome Weinerlicious has been replaced with an “orange orange” fro-yo place, but Sarah’s still manning the counter. Chuck manages to ask her out on a date without stuttering too much. She thinks she shouldn’t, but when he tells her that he’ll regret not having one last night of fun with him, she agrees. It’s their second first date, and this one will be sans gunfire.

We get to watch everyone getting ready, Casey in his suit shooting at targets of bad guys like Osama and Hitler, but not Regan. He misses the photo of Chuck, who gets to be sexy and shirtless and all tall and rangy and lean. Sarah goes for lacy underthings and a black dress. Chuck makes his way out, telling Ellie he’s taking Sarah for Chinese. She asks about his whole new future plans, which she says can’t include piloting the Millennium Falcon. Chuck thinks maybe secret agent; he definitely wants to finish college, learn an obscure language, and not work at the Buy More. And before he can leave, Morgan arrives with one more Call of Duty game plan. Ellie is grossed out, and Chuck tells her, “Baby steps, sis.”

Casey greets a fellow agent at his door, goes through the protocol, and hands over the Cipher. In exchange, he gets a face full of toxic powder and a fast trip to the floor. His attacker is working for MCD, who tells him that they have two more targets that night: Chuck and Sarah. Who just left her apartment without her sidearm.

Sarah and Chuck have Chinese at a place Morgan recommended. Chuck tells her that Morgan’s always been supportive of their fake relationship, and never once doubted that Chuck could bag a babe like Sarah. But Sarah teases Chuck and makes him say nice things about her, and it’s cute, because Chuck is cute with the nervous talking. He acquits himself well, and Sarah tells him he’s not so bad himself. “Please,” he scoffs. “I’m fantastic!” Sarah says she is. Chuck asks what Casey would think of their current situation. Sarah thinks it would kill him.

Cut to Casey bleeding from the mouth and crawling on the floor. He opens a decontamination shower—no, really—from the ceiling and, as it’s pouring down, stabs himself in the chest with a needle.

Chuck quizzes Sarah on what’s next for her. She tells him that it’s not up to her, really. He flirts that he’s still got a lot of secrets in his head, and they move in for the liplock with the Intersect starts flashing like whoa. There are assassins everywhere. MCD arrives, calling himself Mr. Colt, and while Chuck and Sarah try to finesse their way out of the situation, they’re pretty well fucked. Until, that is, Casey pulls the Crown Vic right through the restaurant wall. “Somebody order drive-thru?”

In the car, Chuck freaks, Sarah wants to go back, and Casey, nursing a cut on his cheek courtesy of Mr. Colt, reminds them both that Chuck is still the Intersect.

Chuck wakes up to Huey Lewis and the News again, “The Power of Love” this time. He’s less enthused and more dazed as he wanders through the house. He’s lost in thought at the Buy More until Morgan presents him with all the candidates for Assistant Manager. Morgan doesn’t want to do it himself because he has a carefully devised system for doing as little as possible. So Chuck interviews Anna, Lester, and Jeff, who are varying degrees of weird and creepy. Casey busts in, and Chuck flashes on the nasty cut and bruise on his cheek. When Mr. Colt decked Casey the night before, his ring left an imprint that is the symbol of his organization. Chuck wants to roll on it, but Casey doesn’t want to rush. He tells Chuck they’ll get the Cipher back, but it’ll take some time.

Chuck freaks, saying he almost died twice in one day, and he just doesn’t want to do this anymore. He was thisclose to having a normal life, and he liked the idea of it. Casey tells him that sometimes the future isn’t what we think it’ll be. Chuck doesn’t get why Casey isn’t dying to get rid of him. Casey asks if Chuck doesn’t want him there to catch him when he falls. Chuck, basically, says no. Casey tells him to wait there. He doesn’t following Casey out into the store as the agent breaks out his cell phone. Morgan waylays Chuck, asking about the interviews, and Chuck tells him to handle it himself.

At the orange orange, Casey and Sarah are halfway out the door when Chuck arrives. He wants to come with them, being all badass spy boy with the Intersect, but they don’t have the time. Casey tells him he’s not a real spy, and, before she leaves, Sarah says they have a tactical team coming in, so Chuck should just go back to work. Chuck is like, yeah, Morgan’s on that.

And Morgan is hosting a cage match for the Nerds of Buy More. When Chuck gets back, the store’s empty, except for the customers. Big Mike sends Chuck, specifically, on a Nerd Herd Computer Emergency. That is not at all suspect.

Sarah, Casey, and their team invade the location Chuck gave them off his Intersect flash. Shockingly, no one’s there. Because they’re at another warehouse, waiting for Chuck. Casey tells Sarah to call him, but she can only get Morgan on the line.

Mr. Colt tells Chuck that they have a problem: he saw Colt and heard his voice. Chuck tries to talk his way out of it, but Colt is readying to break his neck. Chuck catches site of the Cipher sitting on a table. He wanders away, thinking. Colt tells him that there’s no one to help him; Sarah and Casey are next on his list. Chuck walked into a trap, see? Chuck a little epiphany, accompanied by badass music. He tells Colt and his gang that they’re the ones in the trap; he’s Charles Carmichael, CIA agent, and the place is surrounded. The goons go to check it out, and Chuck focuses on the Intersect.  He keeps talking, telling Colt to hand over the Cipher. And, in a flash of pure awesome, he calls Morgan on speaker and asks for the specs on “the team surrounding the compound.” Morgan rattles off his Call of Duty plans. Chuck thanks him and tells Colt he has one more chance, back off and give him the Cipher or face the firing squad outside. Colt bites and heads to the window to see what’s what, and Chuck takes his chance and runs, grabbing the Cipher on his way out.

Sarah and Casey are en route as Chuck tries to find his way out of the warehouse. But because Chuck is not quite the super spy, he comes face to face with Michael Clarke Duncan. And once again finds himself dangling by his ankle from the roof. Chuck tries to negotiate, but Colt is going to drop him whether he hands over the Cipher or not. Which he does, when Sarah busts up on the roof with her gun drawn. Sarah sees Chuck fall; what she does not see is Casey, on a fire escape a few stories below, catch Chuck as he falls. Sarah goes nuts on Colt. Chuck tells Casey he loves him. Sarah and Colt continue, improbably, to battle it out until Casey arrives with the firepower. Colt thinks this is funny, because Sarah and Casey are surrounded by the rest of his men.

But then? Then Chuck arrives with the real tactical team, and after some taunting, Colt is escorted out under arrest, cursing that dastardly Charles Carmichael. Casey grabs the Cipher and leads Colt out. Chuck, he is pleased with himself.

Casey’s pruning his bonsai when General Lady calls. His orders haven’t changed: he’s to eliminate Chuck. He sighs heavily and, after a moment of hesitation, says that Chuck served his country with honor. He could be of use as an analyst, maybe. Director Graham steps in and says that yeah, Chuck served his country, but with all the secrets in his head, he’s not safe, and the country isn’t safe. So now Chuck will die with honor.

At the Awesome Abode, Chuck’s making dinner for Sarah, despite Ellie’s protests that he can’t cook and she doesn’t want to eat eight pounds of Mongolian barbecue with Awesome. He sends them on their way, telling Ellie that he’s thinking about backpacking through Europe. Awesome thinks this is, you know. Awesome.

The new Intersect gets all whirligig and set in a very white room.

Chuck sets the table, and Casey crawls in a window.

General Graham activates the intersect.

Chuck pours some wine, blissfully unaware that Casey’s stalking down the hallway with a drawn gun.

The Intersect spins and spins and glows read. The computer, instead of initializing, reads, “FULCRUM THANKS YOU.” And then the Intersect explodes.

Casey hits a squeaky board, hesitates, and Chuck practices talking Sarah into going to Europe with him. Casey readies himself, but Sarah arrives with the news that the Intersect exploded. It was a Trojan horse, contaminated. “You’re still the only Intersect,” she tells him. “I’m sorry.” Casey, relieved, withdraws.

Chuck slumps at the Nerd Herd counter. Lester, Assistant Manager supreme, comes over to be weird. Morgan scoots him along, and Chuck tells him, basically, that he wants more than the Buy More. Morgan knows he’s destined for great things; whatever Chuck wants to do, he can do. But before he runs off to change the world, Morgan’s going to secure 45 bags of Twinkies. Jeff thinks he can eat them in under 3 minutes, but he’s unaware that Morgan’s going to make him eat 90 Twinkies, for they are 2 to a bag. Chuck bolts upright, intrigued. “But no one can eat 90 Twinkies,” he breathes. Morgan’s like, I KNOW. Chuck takes off, Casey in tow. No man can resist the allure of 90 Twinkies and the potential that Jeff might die.