I Love Money - "Exclusive Extra Special" (Episode 112)

It's time for the pre-season finale of "I Love Money" featuring wacky clips we have never before seen - and the return of Mr. Boston! White Boy confesses that he's scared of Megan's "special" dog Lily, mainly because she smells like "straight manure." Chance says he loves dogs, but in the case of Lily, not so much. He doesn't like dogs that look "all Gizmo and Gremlocks." C.J. shows us a never seen before clip of Rodeo (a/k/a Crazy Grandma), featuring "grease, butter and Chance running for his life." She loves playing jokes and got into a butter fight with Chance. And laughed her crazy laugh. After that, we get to see a rousing, adult game of "truth or dare," where Hoopz dares Brandi to simulate sex with Megan. She says she's going to ride Megan like Seabiscuit. Pumkin was less than impressed with Brandi's "performance." Brandi then dares Hoopz, to give Real a lap dance because he needs some physical contact. Real enjoyed her little dance and says she "shocked" him. Toastee was dared to suck on Real's nasty toes and, after chugging some wine, she gave Real his toe job (which Brandi noted was probably just like kisssing Flavor Flav.) Pumkin complemented her main lady Toastee on her ability to put anything in her mouth. Real was even grossed out. He then got to play "doctor" with Hoopz and had to grab her boobs for ten seconds. Hoopz really wanted to make the glass table a slip 'n' slide for Brandi (I have no idea why), and they gals covered the top of the table with soap and water. Brandi stripped to her panties and allowed the others to slide her back and forth across the slippery table. Pumkin just wanted to slide her off the table and into the wall. I'm so glad we're getting to see these priceless moments.

C.J. tells us that Mr. Boston was "smitten" with Megan since the first time he laid eyes on her, but his love was unrequited. Their non-romance was the show's "Lady and the Tramp" (although Megan is the real tramp there.) Megan said Boston grossed her out - especially when he was talking to her while squeezing a zit under his armpit. She wants no part of him, calling him "stupid and perverted and pathetic." Boston said he knew Megan "wanted" him, but she was just playing "hard to get." We continue the theme of love in this segment by revisiting the show's "three fastest relationships," starting with heat and Destiney. They snuggled and kissed and everything was going swell until Heat didn't defend her honor when she and Chance got into a yelling match. 10 minutes later, Destiney moved on to The Entertainer. Lastly, we get to watch the budding relationship between 12 Pack and Heather. More making out and chit chatting - and all's well until 12 Pack starts putting the moves on Megan. Oh, and Entertainer and Pumkin had a "blink and you'll miss it," whirlwind romance. It was a relationship of convenience for Frank, because Destiney was taken...and Pumkin was there...and the booze was flowing. Pumkin, the self-described "drunk bitch" and the "desperate" Entertainer had their moment. The next day, Entertainer regretted what he did and said he didn't even think Pumkin was pretty. It was a five hour romance. Toastee called her beau on Valentine's Day and told Heather to tell him that they made out. Boyfriend didn't think that was funny at all and said it was "disrespectful."

It's back to more of Mr. Boston and his Boston charm not working on the ladies in the house. He first tries to make a move on Heather in her "dominatrix" bikini. 12 Pack said he was creepy. Brandi called him "creeptastic," and he was as he ogled her while she was putting sunscreen on her massive boobs. We then get to listen into some of the phone calls home, starting with the Entertainer squabbling with his overbearing mom. Hoopz had an argument with her boyfriend, who would seemingly rather play Pac Man than talk to him. White Boy talked about scented candles with a pal. Huh? One of C.J.'s most memorable moments was the food fight between Toastee, Pumkin, Megan and Brandi. The fight had moved outside and there was lots of pushing and splashing. Pumkin was trying to get Megan to hit her (unsuccessfully.) Some poor production assistant had to break up a pushing match between Pumkin and Megan. C.J. then introduces us to a montage of Brandi's most tearful moments - and she cried a lot. Megan doesn't even try to look like she cares as she "comforts" her friend.

Remember Brandi and Megan's massage of Mr. Boston? More creepiness. With thong. The gals covered him in honey. Honey-covered douche. Brandi noticed that Boston was very "excited" about his massage. Rodeo wasn't one of the favorites of some of the folks in the house, as not everyone loves the crazy grandma laugh. Brandi says she sounds like she's dying when she laughs. Entertainer is tired of hearing her laugh everywhere. Real said that Rodeo was like the mother figure of the house/17-year old wild child, playing jokes  - and laughing like a mental patient. Real says she just needs some good lovin'. Megan says she looks like she's on steroids. The boys even buried her in the sand and left her. Next time, bury her closer to the shore, will ya?

It's time for the tale of Megan and Brandi, two BFFs who fell in love in Mexico. Megan asked Brandi to marry her. She's been looking all over the world for a hot blonde like herself. Gag me. Brandi said that hanging out with Megan was worth more than $250K. Really? Heat was a complex man of many moods and opinions on his teammates. He makes fun of Toastee after she took her fake "spill." He babbles on and on and truly says nothing. Heather and 12 Pack have been going back and forth "like crack addicts." He says "frikkin'" a lot and is thoroughly into himself.

C.J. said that The Entertainer is "special." He sure is. He puts a pliiow on his head and tells Heather to kick him in the head. She missed and gets him in the back - and eventually clocks him in the head. Yikes. Next week, the big finlae!