How I Met Your Mother: I Heart NJ: Episode 403

 I Need To Drop A Massive New Jersey

In fall 2008, Ted tells his kids that he kept running into the same problem.  We flash to Barney dressing up as a women telling the crew that he is going to attempt to pick up a lesbian again.  See Ted lives in NYC and Stella lives in NJ.  This means that Ted spends a lot of time on the train going back and forth. 

We then flash to Ted arriving at Stella's to find her sleeping on the couch and another day arriving to find Stella and her daughter Lucy already eating dinner. They just couldn't wait anymore. 

Ted expresses to Stella that he wishes he had the time to hang out with Stella and his friends but instead he feels like he's always on the train.  Stella suggests that Ted's friends come over to NJ for a visit.

When Ted invites the crew to an evening in NJ they all instantly start to mock "New Jersians," reminding Ted that he hates NJ too.  We flash to Ted wearing a shirt that says "I hate NJ."  Then Ted going into to the bathroom saying he needs to "drop a massive NJ."  Ted tells the crew he has nothing to worry about because Stella is moving to the city after they get married. 

Robin meanwhile is still sick of her anchoring job.  So when the call came in that she got the national anchor job Robin was ready to signoff.

The following Saturday, Robin went to start her new job while the rest of the gang headed to NJ for the crazy night life.  Stella couldn't find a babysitter so the new plan was to stay in to party; maybe watch a movie or play a board game.  Stella suddenly remembers that she has beer in the garage.

As Stella goes off to find the beer, Marshall freaks out, saying they should be at a bar on a Saturday night.  Lily suggests that they can take the next train and be at the bar by 11.  She just has to change first because she doesn't want to be walking in the bar smelling like NJ.  Stella walks in to hear this last sentence. 

Stella suggests they hang out at the coolest bar in NJ, which just happens to be in her basement.  Ted talks about how amazing this bar is because it has a dart board and fish.  Barney says he isn't going to go for the fish unless it's a suckerfish and a blowfish.  The Barnacle thinks this is hilarious and wants a fist bump.  Unfortunately the group doesn't think this is funny enough to merit a fist bump.  Barney announces that he isn't going to lower his fist till it gets bumped.

The group sits down to play some scrabble.  Stella suggests they should get a dog when Ted moves in.  The door bell rings......

Ted is shocked to hear this; the moving part, not the door bell.  Barney tries to make another joke but still doesn't get a fist bump.

Ted is confused because he remembers suggesting to Stella that she move in with him.  We flash to Stella, laughing, telling Ted it's a GREAT IDEA to move to NYC.  Lucy can play on the fire escape and make friends with the homeless person outside Ted's building.

Robin shows up at Stella's.  She arrived for her first day at work only to find out it was only an audition for the job.  When Robin got the call she put down the phone to celebrate the new job by dancing and didn't bother to hear that it was only an audition for the job. 

Robin starts to freak out and wants to call and beg for her old job back.  Barney stops her, explaining how many women he has had sex with and how many of them come back for more only to leave the following morning with that look of regret on their faces.  Barney doesn't want Robin to have that.  Stella runs downstairs to stop the crew from drinking beer. She just remembered she bought the beer right before she got pregnant with Lucy.  Wow Stella is one wild animal......

Stella asks Ted to go to Priceco, aka Costco to pick up some more beers.  She also suggests that Ted pick up a membership, since he'll probably be going their a lot.

At the store, Marshall tries to pump Ted up about NJ.  Ted can get a lawn mower or a lawn chair!  Meanwhile, Barney tries to bribe Lily with money for a fist bump.

Marshall tells Ted he'll be in the city all the time.  They stop a couple in the store to ask how often they get to the city.  The couple talks about how they were just there at restaurant "blank." Come to find out that restaurant closed six years ago.  The couple runs off to look at dog shirts and Marshall joins them.

Robin sneaks away to beg for her old job back.  Her boss suggests that if she can make it back to the studio by 11pm to do the broadcast Robin can have her old job back.  This only gives Robin a half hour.  She grabs Lucy's bike and is off!

Ted tells Stella he doesn't want to move to NJ.  In fact, he doesn't see any reason why Stella and Lucy shouldn't move to the city.  Stella lists, her daughter goes to school in NJ, has friends in NJ, her family lives here and she is on the PTA.

Stella tells Ted they aren't moving.  She goes into more detail telling Ted about a woman who called her a bitch and threw a cat at her. Of course this happened in NYC. People in NJ are nice and you know who your neighbor is.  Ted tries to remember his neighbors name but fails miserably. 

The group then goes back and forth which city is better. NYC has Broadway but NJ has Atlantic City.  NYC has Greenwich Village while NJ has the shore.

Robin attempting to make it back to the studio in time, runs into a car accident along her way. This may sound crazy but Robin swears she took her bike and flew over the whole thing.

Lily tells Stella that Marshall didn't like NYC at first either but now he wouldn't think of living any other place.  Marshall loses it and says he hates NYC.  All the stores are so small.  It makes him feel like a big monster.  It's the city that never sleeps but Marshall likes to sleep and he hasn't slept in 8 years..... Marshall looks at Lily and tells her he's just kidding.

Ted compromises and tells Stella that they can live in Brooklyn.  Stella tells Ted he can live where ever he wants and walks away.  Barney still tries to get a fist bump out of someone.

Ted goes off to find Stella but ends up running into Lucy.  She can't sleep and asks Ted to read her a story.  After, Ted finds Stella and tells her NJ wins.

Robin makes it to the studio just in time for the broadcast but decides to quit in the middle of the show.

Lily fist bumps Barney because he helped Robin quit her job with his encouragement. Barney can finally put his arm down!  He tells Lily that his arm hasn't been this sore since he was 13 and learned how to lock a bathroom door. Up top!  Lily just looks at Barney. 

At the bar, Robin shows up and tells the group she didn't get the job.  However, they offered her another one as a foreign correspondent.  She is moving to Japan.  Barney looks crushed. Did I call this one or not????